Fifty Shades of Christian: Into the Light
by anaislyn
Summary: Warning: Story is only for those who understood the D/S relationship in the original trilogy. Ana begins to feel suffocated by the tight security and Christian's control of her life. Christian asserts his dominance. Characters are true to the trilogy so don't read if you don't understand the characters' imperfections. 12 chapters of the Grey's growing love and parenthood.
1. Chapter 1

**Fifty Shades of Christian: Into the Light**

This is a sequel to where book three left off, through the maturing relationship of Christian and Ana and the parenting of children. Christian can't give up his control or his D/S lifestyle, but it is now tempered by love. He needs to protect Anastasia from continued threats due to their high profile life. Ana rebels against the constraints of his security precautions. Through many long talks, negotiations and compromises on both sides, they stabilize their relationship and find what works for them. The story includes all the characters from EJ's novels. I do not own the characters but I enjoyed the books so much I didn't want the story to end when there was just so much more to explore. I have tried to be true to EJ's characters and the story line, except for the epilogue.

Warning: The story does not contain heavy BDSM, but Christian cannot maintain his "no punishments" vow to Anastasia. I believe that dominance is the very core of his personality and EJ gives us many hints that Anastasia likes that part of him. Several times Ana asks Christian to spank her and she admits that it arouses her. If you are uncomfortable with that, don't read this story.

Chapter 1

I have a vague feeling of sticky warmth between my legs and my stomach hurts. I come awake slowly, confused about the unusual sensations. As my brain boots up, my alarm grows. Something is very wrong. I lift the sheets and am horrified to see that I'm lying in a pool of blood.

"Christian," I shake his arm. "Christian, wake up. Something is wrong."

The fear in my voice makes him come awake immediately and he leans over me, his frown showing the apprehension he feels. "What is it, baby," he says softly."

"Look." I hold up the covers to reveal the pool of blood. "I'm bleeding and my stomach hurts really bad. Something must be wrong with the baby."

Christian leaps into action. He presses a button the phone "Taylor, wake up. We need to take Ana to the hospital. Get Gail…quickly..yes…Tell Sawyer to get the car."

In less than three minutes, Gail is at the bedroom door in her nightgown and robe. "Find some clothes for Mrs. Grey and stay with her. I have to make arrangements." His voice is low but I can hear the panic in it. It scares me. What if something terrible is wrong with little Blip? I'm afraid to move from my pool of blood. I'm afraid if I move more, it will bleed.

Christian steps outside the bedroom door and I can hear him yelling at someone. "I don't care what time it is. You ring me through to Dr. Green. Tell her it's Christian Grey and that I'm taking Anastasia to the hospital…..good….thank you." Usually, angry Christian scares me but I'm glad he knows what to do. He'll take care of everything. He always knows what to do. Competent Christian. It's a comforting thought.

But I don't want to go to the hospital. My eyes fill with tears. What is wrong with little Blip? I pat my stomach to reassure him. I hear Christian's voice once more. He must have been on hold. He isn't yelling but he sounds worried. "I'm sorry to bother you so late Dr. Green but Anastasia is bleeding quite a lot and has pains in her stomach. I'm taking her to the emergency room. You need to meet us there." It wasn't a request, I notice. "Good. We're on our way."

He steps back into the room to check on me. Mrs. Jones has found some sweat pants and a sweatshirt, shoes and socks. She doesn't know quite what else to do and stands there with a questioning look at Christian. "Just one more call" he says shortly and steps out again.

"Dad, I'm sorry to wake you. Can you tell Mom that I'm taking Anastasia to the emergency room? She is bleeding a lot and in pain." There is a long pause and I assume Carrick is telling Grace. "Yes, Dad…oh good…I would feel better if she were there. Thanks."

"OK, Gail, I'll take it from here. I'll need a blanket to wrap her in."

"Yes, Sir. I'll get one." Mrs. Jones hurries out of the room closing the door.

"Baby, where do you keep the pads for your period?" Geez, how embarrassing. I like to pretend he doesn't even know about such things. He is a man on a mission, not to be questioned, focused.

"Third drawer on my side," I answer automatically. Why is this intimacy different from all the times he has fucked me during my period? I don't want him to see me like this. And I don't want him tending to my hygiene. How gross.

When he comes back to the bed, he has a wet washcloth, towels and a pad. "Ana, I have to help you get dressed. Just do as I say. Let me help you sit up." He places his hand behind my back and helps me sit up. "Can you lift up a bit?" It takes all my strength to lift my bottom so he can pull my nightgown up and over my head. He replaces it with my sweatshirt and gently lays me back down. At least I'm dressed on the upper half of my body.

He picks up the washcloth and I stop his hand.

"I'll do it." I say emphatically.

"Ana, we're in a hurry. Let me get you clean and dressed so we can go." He's impatient Christian now but in a comforting, kind way.

"No, no." I hold his wrists as tight as I can but I'm no match for my muscular husband. He grabs both of my hands in one of his and uses his other hand to roll me on my side and begin washing the blood off my bottom and legs. "I don't have time to argue with you about this," he says firmly. "Spread your legs, baby."

I'm mortified. With all the intimacy we've shared, this shouldn't bother me but it does. It's different somehow. Christian has no inhibitions when it comes to my body, he never has. He washes me and pats me dry, then lifts me and scoots me to a dry spot on the bed. When he puts the pad between my legs I blush. "Oh Christian, this is so embarrassing."

"Why, baby? I'm just taking care of you like I always do."

"I don't want to go to the hospital."

"Well, you don't have a choice." He slips my panties over my feet and up my legs. " Can you lift your bottom, just a little?" He pulls my panties up then puts on my sweatpants.

The cramping comes again, worse this time and I groan. "Oh god, it hurts Christian."

"I know, baby." He turns to the door "Gail?" he calls.

"Here, Mr. Grey. I have a blanket. May I come in?"

"Yes" he calls. "Lay it out at the foot of the bed so I can lay her on it" He puts me gently on the blanket and wraps me up, then picks me up and heads toward the door. Taylor is waiting there. For once, he is dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He has already called the elevator. We ride in silence but Christian leans over and kisses my head several times. I feel safe in his arms. Everything will be all right, I pray.

Sawyer is waiting with the car and Christian slides in the back with me still in his arms. Taylor jumps in the front. "Take us to the emergency room Luke."

"Yes, Sir."

Christian carries me into the emergency room. How embarrassing. I bury my face in his chest so I don't have to look at anyone. "This is Anastasia Grey. Did Dr. Green call?"

"Yes, Mr. Grey, we have orders. Let me get a wheelchair."

"No, I'll just carry her. Show me where to go." Christian does drive hospital staff crazy. He did the same thing when I was hospitalized after the kidnapping affair. He makes his own rules, not necessarily the hospital's. He follows the nurse down the hall into a room and lays me gently on the bed.

"Would you please step outside Mr. Grey," the nurse asks politely.

"No, I'm not going anywhere," he says flatly. I would argue with him but I really do want him to stay with me. I'm scared. The nurse shrugs and begins to undress me, putting me in one of the ugly hospitals gowns that open at the back. By the time she has taken my vital signs, Dr. Green has appeared.

Two hours and a lot of tests later, Dr. Green comes into the room. Christian is sitting on the bed holding my hand. "Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, I'm sorry to tell you that the fetus is dead." She sounds sympathetic but I can tell she's done this many times before. Oddly, my thoughts go to her hands, her large ring. It must be a wedding ring. I wonder if she has children.

Christian is hugging me tightly. Wait, what did she say? My baby is dead. Little Blip is gone? The doctor is speaking but her words mean nothing to me. "We should do a D&C but you have the option to wait until you miscarry naturally. Why don't I let you be alone for a few minutes? We will be keeping Mrs. Grey overnight. We can talk about options in the morning but I recommend the D&C."

I'm stunned and it seems Christian is too. He has never been so quiet. I look up at him and there are tears in his eyes. Oh No, My Fifty is crying. I reach up to stroke his cheek with the back of my hand. What are we going to do? Our baby is gone. I was just getting attached to him. Neither of us say anything but Christian gently strokes my hair, looking lost in thought.

Just then Grace knocks on the door and peeks in. "May I come in?" I nod.

"I'm sorry my darlings." She wraps her arms around both of us and we all cry silent tears. Christian's voice is husky, anguished. "Mom, I don't know what to do. I don't know what happened. Do you think it was because Ana got hurt during the kidnapping?"

"No darling. These things just happen. It means this pregnancy was not meant to be. The fetus was not right and could not have survived. It happens more often than you know because people don't talk about it. It's very common in a first pregnancy."

"But how do we know for sure?" I ask. "What if she's wrong?"

"She's not wrong honey. I saw all the test results. We are very sure."

"Should we just do the D&C?" I don't know this Christian. He always knows just what to do. He is always so sure. I can't remember his asking for advice or even an opinion, from anyone, ever. Poor Christian. He has no control over this and he is lost. He holds me like I'm a lifeline.

"That would be my recommendation. You don't want to prolong this suffering."

"No!" I almost shout it. "I won't let them take my baby. I'm going home." I start to get out of the bed and Christian stops me. "Ana, stop it," he says forcefully. He looks at his mother pleadingly, and then suddenly finds his equilibrium. It's as if he realizes that I'm in pain. 'Empathy.' I remember that I didn't think he had any.

"Ana, baby. You must do this. We'll deal with it together, just like we've dealt with everything else. We love each other and our love will make another baby when the time is right. For now, we'll comfort each other and hold each other. You can do this. I'll be with you every minute." And then we both cry, holding each other in a tight embrace.

Grace gives us both another hug. She looks sad. Then I remember that she's not just sad for us. She's lost her first grandchild. And she was so incredibly happy about being a grandmother. "I'm going to leave you two alone. You are very special, both of your. You have a wonderful love. And someday, you will be loving parents. For now, you just need to hold on to each other. You will get through this."

Fortunately I miscarry in the middle of the night, thus avoiding surgery. It's bittersweet. Intellectually, I'm resigned to the reality that the pregnancy is over and little Blip is gone but it's crushing emotionally. Christian is a bear throughout the ordeal. He demands information, refuses to follow hospital rules, yells down the hall when the nurses don't answer my call light in seconds. Gad, I feel like I'm constantly apologizing for him. Everyone in his world jumps when he wants something and he isn't the boss here. I think it unnerves him.

"Maybe you should just buy the hospital" I smirk. "Then you could fix all these problems."

"If I were even remotely interested in hospitals, I would" he steams as he pours a glass of water. "We're not waiting any longer for someone to give us permission. Here, drink this." I'm thirsty and the nurse said to wait until the doctor gave the OK for me to eat and drink. How could it hurt? This place has more rules than Christian, and that's saying something. I drink, the cool water tasting so good.

"Christian, they have other patients too. Maybe they need the nurse more than we do. You need to learn some patience." I try to sound calm, rational and I smile my most encouraging smile.

"I don't care about the other patients," he says stiffly. "I only care about you." But he stops pacing and sits on the bed, taking my hand. "How do you feel, other than thirsty?" I take a long drink of water. "OK, but I wish this was tea."

Communicate, my subconscious tells me. We are trying to communicate better. We've promised each other. Dr. Flynn is helping us learn to express our feelings. Neither of us was used to pouring out our innermost thoughts, Christian because he was a dominant and me because I was naturally reserved. We've made progress because of the pregnancy but now it seems important to share my feelings. "Christian, if you want to know the truth, I feel empty, lost. Pregnancy is a real shock. I felt like a mother. I talked to little Blip and dreamed about the way he would look, what he would be like. I felt protective. Now he's gone and it feels so lonely." I put my hand in his and he squeezes gently.

Christian looks at me sadly. "I know I was not happy at first, but these last few weeks I've done a lot of thinking. I think my paternal gene kicked in. I wonder if nature takes care of that for reluctant fathers. I really rather like the idea of being a father. I started daydreaming about it, taking him up in Charlie Tango and teaching him to sail."

"You know it could have been a girl," I have said that many times in the past few weeks. It's become a joke. "Then I could have taught her to shoot a gun."

His eyes grow dark and he glares at me. "Over my dead body you would."

"Christian can we try again, this time on purpose? Do you really want children?"

He kisses my forehead. "Of course, more than I ever knew I did. But the doctor says we have to wait at least six months. We'll have to decide what to do about contraceptives again."

Dr. Green finally arrives back in the room. "Everything looks fine. You just need to take it easy for a few days."

I know Christian will translate this to mean I should stay in bed for a week. "Dr. Green, does that mean I should resume my normal activities but nothing too strenuous?" I look at Christian as I say this. Christian frowns at me. He knows what I'm doing. He always does.

"Yes, that sounds about right. Just no lifting heavy things or anything too tiring." I give my frowning husband a 'see, I told you so' look and he glares back at me. I'll deal with it when we get home, I think. Now I just want to get out of this place. It's over. Everything seems empty. We're not three anymore, we're just back to two.

Christian opens the back door of the Audi and I slide in. It feels good to be going home. I hate hospitals. Taylor turns to look at me. "Mrs. Grey, you have my condolences," he says warmly but awkwardly. "Thank you, Taylor. We'll be ok"

When we get home, Christian takes my arm and steers me to the bedroom. "Let's get you undressed and into bed." He takes a nightgown out of my drawer.

"I don' have to go to bed. I'm not tired. I'm not tired and Dr. Greene said rest, not go to bed.

"You do if I say you do." His mouth is set in a tight line and he glares at me, daring me to defy him. He begins undressing me, removing the sweatshirt and sweatpants I wore to the hospital.

"Christian, I want to be in the library doing my work. And Dr. Green said nothing of the sort. She said to resume my normal activities." I stand with my legs apart and my arms crossed, my stance for resolute stubbornness. I'm going to stop this right now, before Christian smothers me. I need to be busy. I don't want to think.

"Do I need to give you some incentive to do as you're told?" He has begun his metamorphosis, his body taller, his face reflecting that something I can't put my finger on that tells me Christian's alter ego has appeared. I know not to fight with this Christian. He puts the nightgown over my head and pulls it down.

"Does this feel like déjà view?" I ask. It seems this was the same fight we had when I came home from the hospital the last time.

"And you aren't any better at knowing your limits." He sounds thoroughly frustrated. "People don't walk out the door of a hospital after what you've been through and go to work. I'll never understand that about you, Ana. You have no sense about your health. Bed. Now." He points his long index finger at the bed.

Overprotective Christian has emerged with a vengeance. I remember how he was for weeks after the kidnapping episode. He hovered, insisted I take naps, and wouldn't let me return to work for a week. I don't have the strength to fight. I acquiesce, let him undress me and climb into bed.

"Come get in with me."

"Ana, you need your rest. And we shouldn't do anything for a while anyway. I have some work to do. I'll check on you in a few minutes. And you better be asleep." He gives me his sternest look but I can tell there isn't a real threat behind it.

I did manage to fall asleep for a few hours. When I get up, I go into the kitchen and pour some juice. I can drink again, I think. Maybe I'll have some wine tonight. It's a poor tradeoff. I've lost little Blip but now I can have wine. I would give anything to go back to abstinence and little Blip.

Christian hears me and comes to my side, pulling me into his arms as he gracefully takes the glass of juice and sits it on the counter. He's the most graceful person I know, especially for a man. "How do you feel, baby," he says quietly, nuzzling my hair.

"Just sad." I lean my face into his chest and my arms around his waist. We just hold each other for a few minutes, slightly weaving from side to side. Mrs. Jones comes in the kitchen and stops abruptly in the door. "Excuse me," she says, a little embarrassed. "No problem," Christian assures her. "When will dinner be ready?"

"Whenever you're ready," she answers. "Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, I'm so sorry for your loss."

"We know," I tell her. "It's hard but we'll be ok." I feel like I have to reassure everyone else of that when I can't be sure of it myself. Telling Kate was hard. So was telling my mother and Ray. I know it's hard for them to know what to say, how to console me.

That night when we get into bed together, Christian pulls me to spoon with him. We talk about little Blip, how we had both already started dreaming about being parents. How lost we feel, how lonely it feels. We fall asleep in each other's arms, clinging to the only real comfort each of us has.

After two days of pampering, Christian has decided to finally let me go back to work. Mrs. Jones is in the kitchen making breakfast and Christian is drinking coffee at the breakfast bar. "Good morning Mrs. Grey," Mrs. Jones says cheerfully. What can I make for you for breakfast?"

"Just some cereal please, any kind will do." Christian frowns. "Not hungry?" he asks. I can tell he's thinking how nice it was that I had an appetite when I was pregnant.

"I'd like to drive today." I try to sound resolute, commanding.

"Nope. Sawyer will take you."

"Christian, I'm really tired of your bubble. I want some freedom. I love my car and I want to drive." I can probably count on my fingers the number of times I've actually driven my wonderful R8.

"No arguments, Anastasia. Sawyer will take you." When he uses my full name, he means business. I decide not to make an issue of it today. Maybe tomorrow. My mother's words come back to me. "Chose your fights Ana. You can't win all of them."

Christian would have liked me to stay home another day but he couldn't find any rationale. Not letting me drive is his way of still controlling me. He can't let go just yet. I do understand him better. It's the way he copes, the way he's always coped.

"Feeling ok Ana?" Heather greets me warmly. "Yes, fine."

"There are some messages on the desk for you" she says.

No one at work knew I was pregnant so Christian just told them I was ill. It seems strange that everyone's life is just the same as it was last week but mine is so different, so sad. I feel like I'm apart from the rest of this bustling, purposeful place. I want Christian. I wish I was home in his arms and not here. We share this world of hurt that no one else is part of. I take out my Blackberry and remember how hard it was to use it instead of the computer right in front of me on my desk.

**From: Anastasia Grey**

**Subject: My Car**

**Date: October 30, 2011**

**TO: Christian Grey**

**I want to drive my beautiful R8 that my generous husband gave me for my birthday. In what year do you think that might be possible?**

**Mrs. G X**

**From: Christian Grey**

**Subject: Your Car**

**Date: October 30, 2011**

**To: Anastasia Grey**

**Understood. How are you feeling?**

**Christian Grey**

**Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.**

**From: Anastasia Grey**

**Subject: My Lonely Car**

**Date: October 30, 2011**

**TO: Christian Grey**

**You didn't answer my question.**

**Mrs. G x**

**From: Christian Grey**

**Subject: Stop pestering**

**Date: October 30, 2011**

**To: Anastasia Grey**

**We'll talk about it tonight. 2030 sounds about right.**

**Christian Grey**

**Protective Husband, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc**

**From: Anastasia Grey**

**Subject: Stop prevaricating**

**Date: October 30, 2011**

**TO: Christian Grey**

**Me and my lonely car may just run away from home**.

Mrs. G

**From: Christian Grey**

**Subject: Stop threatening**

**Date: October 30, 2011**

**To: Anastasia Grey**

**I would find you and you wouldn't be happy when I did.**

**Christian Grey**

**Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc**

**From: Anastasia Grey**

**Subject: My keys**

**Date: October 30, 2011**

**TO: Christian Grey**

**Did you hide my keys?**

**Anastasia Grey**

**From: Christian Grey**

**Subject: Your keys**

**Date: October 30, 2011**

**To: Anastasia Grey**

**Taylor has your keys. You can ask him for them.**

**Christian Grey**

**Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc**

I frown. Yeah, like Taylor will do that without asking you. Damn. He is so in control of my life. I want some freedom and I'm going to get my car back. I'll have to think this through. Getting around Christian is no easy task.

Christian greets me warmly when I get in the car at 6. He leans over and kisses me gently, then takes my hand in his, studying me carefully. "Would you like to go out for dinner or stay in? Mrs. Jones is waiting to find out."

I think it might be better to have the car conversation in a public place. "Let's go out."

"OK, I know just the place. Taylor, the Venu please. And tell Mrs. Jones we won't be needing dinner."

"Yes Sir" acknowledges Taylor.

I've never been to the Venu but it's a small, intimate place, very trendy with a sunken floor full of oak tables and elevated booths around the side. There's a small fountain in the middle of the circular room and indirect lighting gives it a romantic feel. "Let's sit in a booth," I suggest.

This should be relatively private for our conversation. Private but not so private that Christian will start shouting. Christian orders wine and hands me the menu. He suggests the salmon but he's letting me order. Hey, that's progress.

"So," Christian starts. "You wanted to discuss something."

I hesitate. Why does this always sound so easy when I plan it in my head and so intimidating when I actually do it? "I want to talk about driving. I love my car and I love driving it. But it doesn't do me much good sitting in the garage. I want to know why you don't want me to drive."

"Ana, there's a kidnapper out there. One who likes to abduct wealthy women, which makes you a prime target. I need to keep you safe. One close call was enough for a lifetime."

"Christian, there will always be some crazy or jealous criminal out there. I can't live my life in fear. I just can't. I never wanted all this wealth. I hardly ever buy anything. I just want to lead a normal life."

"Comes with the package, and you knew that. What I want to know is why you won't spend any of our money. You continue to use your old credit card and checking account. Frankly Ana, it makes me mad. I feel like you haven't really accepted being Mrs. Grey, being my wife."

Oh, damn, how did this conversation go from my driving to my using my own bank account? His diversion skills are almost as good as his sexual skills.

"Oh no you don't. I want to talk about my car first." I meet his intense, grey eyes with my own intense blue ones. _Don't give up first my subconscious warns. _

"Anastasia, you aren't eating. Pick up your fork." Will we ever have a peaceful meal? "You need to get your strength back."

I pick up my fork as ordered. We don't need to add a third issue to this argument. He looks satisfied as I take a bite of my food. "What about your car?"

"Don't be obtuse Christian. I want to drive it."

"Where?"

"I don't know. To work, shopping, to Kate's." I'm losing patience with his delaying techniques.

"Ok, I'll talk to Taylor. I MAY, and I'm saying MAY, let you drive a limited amount if Taylor follows you." He's staring sternly at me. That's as good as it's going to get for this round. "OK, I'll expect to drive to work tomorrow."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Anastasia. I said I would look into it. We'll see what Taylor says. Now that we have settled that, let's discuss my issue. Why won't you spend any of OUR money?"

"I have money of my own. Money I earned. It feels better spending that than money I had nothing to do with, except falling in love." I give him my most loving and sincere look, hoping to lessen the sting of my words.

"You bought a dress and shoes in Aspen. I was happy about that and thought you had overcome your inhibitions about money. But you haven't touched the $50,000 I put in your account." He looks perplexed.

"First of all, I was under a great deal of pressure from Kate and Mia in Aspen. They chose that dress and shoes. They don't seem to have any problem spending your money. And second, what are you doing snooping in my personal accounts? Do you check my account on a daily basis?" I add sarcastically. I should be used to his stalking but it still really annoys me.

"First of all, it's OUR money, Anastasia. And second, you are my wife. That means we share everything and have no secrets. Isn't that what marriage is all about? You can look at my accounts and our joint accounts any time you want. They're all in my desk drawer. I'll give you the passwords and you can look them up real time on the computer."

Damn, he can make me feel guilty. How does he always do that? And I don't think I want to monitor his multiple accounts. I probably wouldn't understand his investments and whatever else he has if I did look.

"I think I'll close your checking account and credit cards so you're forced to use our joint accounts." He voice is low and threatening.

"Don't you dare"? I don't doubt that he can do this. His stalking tendencies are notorious. "Christian, I mean it. That's the only vestige of freedom I still have."

He stops eating and looks at me quizzically. "Do you really feel that way?" He is hurt and I can tell he hadn't thought of it that way.

"Yes, I do. I have to have something I can call my own, something I control. You take control of everything in our lives and I don't want to feel like an object in this marriage."

Christian puts his fork down and leans his chin on his hands. He is thoughtful for a minute. "OK, you keep your accounts. But please tell me you consider the money I put in your account yours. And tell me you will try to spend some of it. It would make me very happy." Sincere Christian is hard to be mad at. I know he means well. He wants to give me everything I want. It's just that I don't want everything. There really isn't anything I want.

"I have nothing to buy Christian. You bought me a car, a computer, an iPad, all the clothes I can possibly wear. What else is there to buy? And, I might remind you, I can't go anywhere so how can I even spend money."

"Good point, well made" he smiles his crooked smile and I can't help but smile back. "OK, I'll take you shopping." He gives me his leering look. "That could be fun." Compromise is new to Christian but he is learning. I need to meet him halfway. "I promise I'll try to spend some money."

Well, that was not much of a negotiation. I started with my credit card and checking account and no driving privileges and ended up in the same state. And I have promised to spend his money. I'm not the consummate negotiator Christian is. But I never needed to be before I met him.

"Now that we have all our issues settled, eat your dinner."

Saturday arrives and I enjoy the luxury of sleeping late. Christian is already gone when I awake. He told me he would be taking Charlie Tango to a meeting in Spokane. What shall I do? Mrs. Jones is off today. Shall I make breakfast? I leisurely put on jeans and a sweatshirt. I really don't feel like cooking for myself. I decide to go to the deli I saw on the next block and get fresh bagels. I don't want to bother Sawyer. Taylor probably went with Christian. Actually this is a great time to try my new plan, my bid for increased freedom. If I slip out on my own enough times, Christian will get tired of sending out search parties and give me some flexibility in where I go and when.

I remember that Leila got into the apartment from the service elevator. I have never taken it. I know there is a CCTV camera somewhere by the back entrance but doubt anyone is watching it. Whoever is here probably thinks I'm still asleep. I sneak through the kitchen to the back door. I wonder if it has an alarm. Guess I'll find out.

I open the door cautiously and see the elevator door. Closing the door without making a sound, I call the elevator. It arrives and I get in and push the button for the garage. I'm sure someone is on duty in the lobby and I don't want to be seen. Who knows what spies Christian has in the building.

The door opens at the garage level and I'm near the entrance to the street. Wow. That was easy. Feeling triumphant, I head for the deli on the next block and duck inside. It smells wonderful, of coffee and wood and sweets. I study the exhaustive menu written in chalk on huge blackboards on the wall above the serving counter. As I work my way to the front of the line, I think how normal this feels, like old times when I was free to do as I pleased. I'm feeling young again, euphoric. I order a bagel with sausage and eggs and my favorite tea. Winding through the tables, I find one in the back and sit down to enjoy my breakfast. I look around the room. It's filled with young people, many with computers or iPads on the tables, some with old-fashioned newspapers. It's all so normal. The bagel tastes yummy and the tea is perfect. I wish I had thought to bring my iPad so I could read too.

As I finish eating I look up and see Sawyer looking frantic, searching the block for me. Oh no, the end of my glorious freedom. He turns to stare in the coffee shop and spots me instantly. He's trained to do that, I surmise. He pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and makes a call. I know he's calling Christian to say he found me. Damn. He already told Christian I was AWOL. As I watch him talk, my consternation increases. Damn, damn, damn. Why does this have to be so complicated? I knew what I was signing up for when I married Christian but the reality is more difficult than I bargained for. I want my freedom.

Sawyer winds his way to my table in the back and looks down at me. "Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey is not pleased that you left the apartment on your own" he says somewhat apologetically. "He would like you to return at once ma'am."

"I was rather enjoying my solitude." I snap. Immediately I feel guilty. Sawyer is only following Christian's orders. I can't blame the man. "Ok, I'll go. I'm finished anyway, " I say, the resignation evident in my voice. My foray into freedom was certainly over quickly.

As we walk out the door, my cell phone rings, the Christian ring. "Hello" I say brightly.

"Damn it Anastasia, You are in big trouble. What do you think you're doing?" roars Christian. "You promised not to leave the apartment without security."

I hold the phone out from my ear and Shouty Christian can be heard by anyone within three feet. Before he can go any further, I hang up and slip the phone in my hoodie pocket. Sawyer looks amused but stares straight ahead. He knows I hung up on Christian.

His lips are a tight, straight line but his chin is quivering. Damn, he's trying not to laugh. I look up and give him my most mischievous grin, my eyebrows raised. The phone rings again and I ignore it. I'm already in trouble. What difference does it make now.

"You enjoy living on the edge, Mrs. Grey?" he says while the phone continues to ring. I give him a conspiratorial grin. The ringing finally stops and two seconds later, Sawyer's phone starts. He has to answer it, I muse. He listens for a moment and then hands the phone to me. "Mr. Grey would like to speak to you Ma'am."

"Yes, Christian," I say brightly. "What can I do for you"?

"This is a very poor time for your sass, Anastasia. I am furious with you. I expect you to go straight back to the apartment. I'll deal with your defiance tonight when I get home. Be there." He hangs up.

"Mr. Grey seems to be annoyed," I smirk to Sawyer. If you can't beat them, join them. That's my new motto. Maybe things will be a little easier if I make the security shadows my friends. Christian won't be home for hours so the inevitable showdown seems far away.

When we enter the apartment I head for the library. Sawyer heads for the safety of Taylor's office. Poor Sawyer. He must have been read the riot act for losing me. I spend the next few hours catching up on the work I have missed lately due to my hospital visit. Then I wander into Taylor's office. Sawyer stands up when I enter. "Mrs. Grey, can I do something for you?" he asks stiffly.

"I was wondering, Sawyer, what your orders are in regard to my safety. I know Christian doesn't want me to drive my car but I thought it would be OK to go to a deli one block away." I sound as innocent as I can.

"Mr. Grey does not want you to leave the apartment without security," he answers firmly.

"I see. I'll remember that." I turn on my heels and go back to the library to read. My mind wanders and I'm reading the same paragraph over and over. I'm restless and bored. I don't want to think about little Blip. His loss hangs over me like a dark cloud, dulling my senses. If I really let the thought of him through my defenses, I'll cry again. And I don't want to do that. Christian can't expect me to stay locked up in the apartment for the rest of my life. I call Kate. "Kate, hey girl, what are you doing?"

"Nothing. Elliot's out of town making some kind of construction deal."

"Christian's out of town too. Let's go get some drinks and dinner." The thought lifts my spirits already.

"Oh Ana, I'd love to. I'll pick you up. What time?"

"I can be ready in half an hour. Can you be here by 5?"

"Yeah, I'm in jeans so let's go someplace casual, ok?"

"You got it. See you soon."

I put on some jeans and a blouse, comb my hair into a ponytail, brush my teeth and am ready in ten minutes. I casually appear again at Taylor's office. "Sawyer, I'm going out to dinner with Kate. She'll be here at 5. I assume you will need to follow us."

"Yes ma'am. I'll let Taylor know."

"Is that really necessary?" Why do they have to tattle to Christian every time I do something?

"Those are my orders, ma'am," he sounds almost apologetic.

I leave to get my purse and jacket and I can hear him reporting to Taylor. Kate buzzes the doorbell and I rush to open it the same time Sawyer does. I hug Kate as soon as she walks in. "I'm so glad you're here. Let's go."

Sawyer hands me the phone. "Mr. Grey would like to speak with you."

"What?" I snap into the phone.

"Don't be rude Anastasia. Can you please stay in the apartment with Kate and order out. I'm uncomfortable with you running around the city when I'm out of town. We're just boarding the helicopter to return to Seattle." Polite Christian is tipping his hand. He is asking, not telling, which means I have already won a small battle.

"No. Kate and I want to go out. We'll be fine. I'm taking Sawyer."

"Anastasia, so help me. You are pushing me to the limit. When I get my hands on you tonight, you won't be nearly so arrogant." His voice is chilling.

"I know." I say in a resigned voice. "But at least I'll have some fun in the meantime. Have a safe trip back." I say cheerfully and hang up.

"Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey would like me to drive you. Miss Kavenagh," He looks at Kate. "Ryan will park your car and have it for you when we return."

I sigh. "Kate, it's easier than arguing. Christian is already mad at me."

We're seated in a quiet booth, right next to the one Christian and I sat in. Kate loves the ambiance. We order a bottle of wine.

"How are you doing?" asks Kate, concern evident in her voice.

"Physically the miscarriage wasn't too terrible. But emotionally, it's so much harder than I thought. Christian and I avoid talking about it as much as possible. I guess that's normal. It hurts too much to think about." I don't want to talk about it at any deep level. I know I'll cry and it seems too personal, too intimate to discuss casually.

Kate seems to understand and changes the subject. "It's so nice to be out together, isn't it? I've missed you so much Ana. How 's married life?"

"Since I've never been married before, I have nothing to compare it to." I laugh in the realization that it certainly wasn't what I dreamed that my married life would be like. "But with Christian, everything's complicated. He's obsessed with the kidnapper so security is tight and I'm rebelling. I went out alone this morning to get a bagel at the deli. Of course, Sawyer had to tell Christian I was missing. He was furious. He objected to our going out tonight."

"Then how come we're out?" Kate grins.

"Because I took a stand." I smile shyly. "I just said I was going."

"Ana Steele, you shock me! You have gone from the most pliable person I know to a girl who takes on the formidable Christian Grey. Honestly, sometimes he even intimidates me." She's looking at me with newfound admiration.

"How are things with Elliot? It seems like we haven't talked in so long."

"Well, I was lonely too. I'm glad we got to do this. I can't believe I'm asking you for advice about men but I do want to ask you a questions."

"What is it Kate?" She looks confused.

"Well, I know how Christian wanted your relationship to be" she lowers her eyes in embarrassment then adds hastily, "and I know that's not what it is. But I was wondering if Christian has ever….uh…you know…hit you." She finishes the sentences in a rush.

"Has Elliot ever hit you?" I'm aghast.

"No, but we have been arguing lately and he threatened to….." She can't look me in the eye. I can tell she is having trouble discussing this. It's newer to her than it is to me.

"Kate, if you mean does Christian spank me, the answer is not really, not in anger. But he has threatened it many times. I figure some day he's going to lose patience completely and do it." This doesn't even embarrass me. My subconscious is mortified.

"Well, it's the same with Elliot. I don't think I could love him if he did that to me. And I do love him so much. I don't know what to do when he says that."

"Have you tried seducing him? I just get all sexy and throw myself at Christian and he melts and forgets all about it." I sound so much braver than I really am.

"No kidding? And that works? Wow Ana. I'm going to try it. I guess marriage _is _the best teacher. Sometimes I can't wait for the big day and sometimes I think it's coming too soon. Did you feel that way?"

"Oh yes, and I had the added complication of dealing with Christian's mood swings. The hardest part for me is accepting Christian's wealth. Really Kate. I don't want any part of it. I wish he would sell all his companies and we could go live in a little house with a white picket fence and have two children and mow our lawn. It's nice not to worry about money, but instead we have to worry about getting kidnapped. It's not a fair exchange."

"I know Ana. I don't see how you put up with all the security 24/7. Do you think it will ever get better?"

"I don't know. Let's not think about it now. So, what's Ethan doing these days and has he decided what to do about Mia?"

We order a second bottle of wine and dig into our dinner. As we linger over dessert, Sawyer approaches the table. "Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey would like you to come home now. He is back from Spokane." I roll my eyes at Kate. "See what my life is like? I better go. He' still mad about this morning."

"What happened this morning?" Kate asks.

"I had the nerve to walk one block to the deli and buy a bagel." It sounds so ridiculous I start to giggle and Kate joins in. Must be the buzz from the wine.

Christian is waiting in the great room when I get home. "So, you decided to defy me as soon as I left the city?"

"Hello Christian. Welcome back to you too." He is staring daggers at me, his eyes blazing. He crosses the room to stand over me, his arms crossed over his chest.

"You are acting very independent these days, Anastasia. Is it because I have promised not to punish you? Do you now feel you can do anything you want, regardless of my wishes?"

"I went to the deli for some breakfast" I reply nonchalantly.

"Don't get cute with me Anastasia. I don't need your smart mouth right now."

"Christian, you can't lock me up like a prisoner. I have rights. And this morning I felt like taking a walk."

"Anastasia, there is a kidnapper on the loose in Seattle. You promised me you wouldn't leave the apartment without security. You broke that promise. Right now I feel like spanking the daylights out of you. I can't do my work, leave the city, go to a meeting without you bolting. Are you trying to get me to break my promise and punish you?"

"No, I don't want you to punish me. I want you to understand that I have needs too."

"Your needs contravene your safety."

"That's your opinion."

"It's my opinion that counts."

"That's the problem with our relationship. My opinions don't count."

"Let's go to bed." Suddenly I realize that Christian is exhausted. I have caused him to worry yet again. I have no idea how to solve this problem. But for now, Christian will solve it the only way he knows how. We can't have intercourse yet but I'm sure Christian will be inventive. I look forward to a sensual trip down passion lane. I really don't want him to enter me there yet anyway. It seems like forbidden or sacred territory for some reason. I hope that feeling goes away in time. Now I just want our loving, sexy relationship back. I want the black cloud hanging over us to go away so we can live in the sunshine again.

19


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I'm tired of being shadowed by security every waking minute of my day. It's been almost two weeks since Kate and I had dinner. I go to work then back to the apartment. If it weren't for work and the corporate dinners and charity functions, I would never leave the apartment at all. All I want to do today is have a little time to myself to do some shopping. I need some new underwear to replace the ones Christian keeps ripping off of me. I smile as I think of our romantic evening last night. Christian was dominant, which turns me on, but romantic and sensual at the same time. It's my favorite Christian.

The last thing I want is Taylor watching me choose new panties. Honestly, Christian has been even more impossible about security since the miscarriage. Just because there were two kidnappings in Washington in the past several months, he's in frantic Christian mode. He finally agreed I could drive my R8 but only if Taylor followed me in the Audi.

My thoughts turn to the scares we had with Leila and then with Jack. But they knew Christian and me. It was personal. They were a threat to us for very specific reasons. This is just some vague, removed threat, like terrorism or the mafia or drug gangs. They are not directed at us. Bad elements have always existed and always will. I can't live my life in terror of what might touch our lives.

I'll never be able to shake Taylor in the car. He's a far more experienced driver than I am and I'm quite sure he has chased cars in his former career. I'll wait until we get in the store. I choose to park near a store where I don't want to shop. Taylor parks beside me and shadows me as I hurry into the store. I head for the lingerie department and choose some panties and bras. Taylor stands at the edge of the department looking uncomfortable. "I'm going to the dressing room," I announce as I hurry past him to get lost in the maze of racks of bras and panties and nightgowns.

I'm short enough to fly under the tall racks and I head for the other end of the lingerie department, across the isle, through the dresses and suits and out the side door of the building. My car is on the other side so I hurry to it, turning my phone off as I go. I don't know if they can trace it if it is turned off, maybe they can but I hope not. Taylor will wait by the door of the dressing room for at least 10 minutes. I can be gone by then.

I reach my car, start the motor and head into traffic and for another shopping center about 10 miles away. I feel free, light. I've forgotten how wonderful it feels to be alone, doing whatever I want to do, not constantly under the scrutiny of Christian or his security detail. My wonderful Fifty comes with so much baggage. His wealth is what makes our lives easy in some ways but it's an albatross around our necks in another. Real or imagined nefarious characters, motivated by envy, greed, hate, retribution, who knows what, haunt Christian's imagination. He has fired so many people, taken over so many companies. He believes he has enemies that would love to kidnap me for the money they think they deserve. I don't know. Maybe there is something to it, but I can take care of myself. And I can't live in his bubble.

I have never been a shopper. Actually I usually detest it, probably partly because I didn't have the money to just buy whatever I wanted. My salary from the hardware store had to cover rent, food, clothes, gas, just about everything. My scholarship and student loans paid for tuition and books. But there was never any left over to just go to a mall and have fun.

I purchase the panties I need and some new bras, then wander down the mall looking in windows. I can have anything I want, I realize. I have a Grey credit card, which someone at corporate takes care of when the bill comes. I have a debit card backed by $50,000 in the linked account. Who keeps $50,000 in a checking account? I can't wrap my mind around it.

A shoe store catches my interest. It has at least 30 different kinds of tennis shoes in the window. Maybe I could branch out, get some running shoes. I plan to run on the beach when we get in the new house. That would be impossible at Escala but I'll have more freedom in our hideaway by the ocean.

After trying on at least ten pairs, I find some running shoes that feel like I'm walking on springs. I make the purchase, using the Grey Corporation credit card. There, I did it. I took the first step toward being wealthy Mrs. Christian Grey. Christian will be pleased.

Energized by my first foray into the world of big spenders, I head into Neiman Marcus, the dress department. I could get a new skirt for work, I think, or maybe a dress. I'm looking through the overwhelming array of expensive dresses when I hear a familiar voice, low and menacing, right behind me. "You are in so much trouble I don't even know what to say to you. Put the dress down," he hisses as he takes my arm in a tight grip.

Oh no. Thermonuclear Fifty. My one hour of freedom is over. I don't want him to make a scene so I follow him out the door. His vice grip on my arm is starting to hurt as he leads me to the cars, my car, Christian's car, Taylor's car. Taylor looks grim. He probably is mad at me too. "Sawyer, drive Mrs. Grey's car home. I'll take her in mine," he hisses and opens the door for me, taking my purchases and tossing them in the back seat. Taylor jumps into his car and starts the motor.

Christian is silent, eyes blazing as he pulls out into traffic. "You have broken the only rule I have left for you, again. You have put yourself in danger by giving Taylor the slip. I've had it with your defiance, Anastasia. I know I promised not to punish you but you promised not to go out without security. If you can't keep your promises, then I don't see why I should keep mine." His voice is low and threatening. His eyes blaze and his lips are in a tight line.

"I'm sorry," I mutter meekly. "I bought some things," I say hopefully. That's what he wanted. Fear is now replacing my disappointment that Christian's stalker expertise has once again thwarted my freedom. Does he really mean it about punishing me? He has threatened many times but I've always been able to divert his attention or talk him out of it. I remember the time on the Riviera when I took my bikini top off. Christian was livid but the kinky fuckery was wonderful and then he made love to me instead of punishing me. Well, I guess it was a punishment fuck, but I could handle that again. He only yelled at me after I went to the coffee shop alone, and it blew over quickly.

"Sorry won't help you this time Anastasia. You're going to get the spanking of your life. And it will give me a great deal of pleasure to deliver it. Not sexual pleasure. No, it will be the pleasure of knowing that your bottom will hurt enough that you will never want to repeat this defiance again. You have no concern for your own safety but you will learn to have a concern for my rules."

My stomach does a flip-flop. My husband is really angry. I don't think any of my methods for softening his temper or distracting him are going to work. Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. It's worth a try.

"Christian, I have to have some space. I cannot live in your bubble all the time. Damn, I can't even go buy myself panties without a guard watching my every move. You said you wanted me to spend money."

He cuts off my tirade. "It won't work this time Anastasia. You are in a shitload of trouble and this time you're going to suffer the consequences. I won't have it. I won't tolerate your defiance, not when it comes to your safety."

We ride the rest of the way home in tense silence. What is he going to do? Will he really spank me? Maybe he'll use the belt again. No, I left him the last time he did that. But his hand can hurt, though I know he has never really given me a punishment spanking like the ones he once warned me of. I don't know what to do to stop this from spiraling out of control. He is really, thoroughly angry. For the first time, I doubt whether it was worth my hour of freedom.

We arrive in the garage and park as Taylor and Sawyer pull in next to us and hop out of their cars. We enter the elevator in silence and Christian motions for the security men to follow us. This is not normal protocol. I keep my eyes down. I can't bear to catch the eyes of Taylor or Sawyer. Is Christian angry with them too? The doors open and Taylor rushes into the foyer to open the doors to the apartment. "My office" Christian snaps to the two security men. He takes my arm again and leads me to the office, Taylor and Sawyer following.

Christian turns to face us, his expression hardened with anger. "In the future, Mrs. Grey, the security detail has my permission to put you in the car and bring you home, against your will if necessary, if you even try to give them the slip. And if you refuse to go, they have my permission to pick you up and carry you to the car. Is that clear Mrs. Grey?" His eyes burn into me and I blush, mortified to be spoken to like this in front of Taylor and Sawyer. He doesn't wait for an answer. "Taylor, are you clear?"

"Yes Sir." His voice is low, somber.

Christian takes my hand and drags me out of the office, down the hall and into our bedroom, leaving Taylor and Sawyer gaping in the office.

Christian pushes me into the bedroom, swatting my bottom. He follows me in and slams the door so hard it bounces back open a little. His back is to the door so he doesn't see this and I'm too mortified to say anything.

"Anastasia, what the fuck did you think you were doing? I have talked and talked about the risks and your safety. You have promised to cooperate. Yet the first chance you get, you con Taylor. Taylor and the other security staff have a job to do. I give them very specific orders. They're loyal and do their best to protect you. How can you be so callous, so selfish? We were all crazy worrying about you. Did you get kidnapped? Are you hurt? What the hell did you think you were going to accomplish?" He runs his hands through his hair in utter frustration as he paces in front of me. He has truly worked himself in a rage.

Suddenly my anger subsides and I realize he has a point. I caused him unnecessary fear. And I put poor Taylor and Sawyer through hell too.

"I'm sorry," I whisper again.

"Not as sorry as you are going to be when I get through with you. Take your jeans off," he snaps.

"Please Christian, don't do this. You're too angry and I'm afraid you'll hurt me." Christian stops pacing and looks intently at me. His eyes soften just a little. "I could never really hurt you Anastasia, and you know that. But I will spank you, with this hand." He holds up his hand. "And your backside will hurt. And I intend to make sure you realize how much you deserve it. I can't protect you if you sabotage that protection. That behavior will stop today."

Christian sits down on the bed. "Come here Anastasia," he says sternly. He looks resolute, like this is something that he has to do but not something he relishes. We are in new territory here. I take a step back, staring into his dark and forbidding eyes. He looks almost like he did when he saw Leila in the apartment holding the gun. It's his dominant demeanor, but the one that scares me, not the sexy one. I'm afraid of what he's going to do to me. I don't want this. I want to plead guilty, be forgiven and fold myself in his arms. Why does he have to be like this? Why did I have to marry a man who has so many rules?

"If you don't come over here and submit to your well deserved punishment, it will only be worse for you. " His voice is low and threatening. He sits on the bed, waiting for me to obey.

"I don't deserve to be beaten for exercising my freedom." My voice is shaky.

"I'm not going to beat you and you know it. I'm going to spank you. And you deserve it."

"What if I won't let you" Don't you need my permission?" My voice belies my panic.

"No, Anastasia. I don't. We had a deal and you broke it. As far as I'm concerned, both sides of the deal are off. You promised not to leave the apartment without security and you broke that promise, _twice_. " His look is forbidding. "I'm not a patient man and you know that well too."

With that, he stands up, crosses the room and reaches for me as I try to back away from him. He grabs both my arms above the elbow and pulls me to stand between his legs. Reaching out, he unbuttons my jeans, unzips the zipper and pulls my jeans down my legs. Before I can protest, he pulls me easily over his lap. Hooking his fingers over the waistband of my panties, he pulls those down to my knees while he pins me down with his arm across my back. I'm totally immobile. Christian is a foot taller and weighs twice as much as I do. His muscles, honed through daily workouts with a trainer, are rock hard. I don't have a chance in hell to defend myself.

"Do you see how easily I can subdue you, Anastasia? Do you see how helpless you are against a man twice your size? You could be grabbed and shoved into a car in a split second. And I would never see you again." He pauses as if the thought is so overwhelming it takes his breath away. "We are here to make sure that never happens."

He takes a long breath and I brace for the first spank and it comes without delay. Ouch, that's the hardest he has ever hit me. I realize he has held back, a lot, when he's spanked me before. None of them have felt like this. "You're going to get 20" he says sternly, "and then 10 more for not coming when I told you to."

Oh no. I can't take this. How can I endure 30 like that one? I stiffen. Before I can contemplate anything else, his hand falls again, and again. The first 10 come steadily with a few seconds between spanks to make sure the sting is felt. I cry out with each one. "No Christian, you can't do this to me." "Christian, it hurts." "Oh. Please stop." I am more embarrassed than in pain. I feel like he's spanking me like I'm a little girl. It's humiliating.

He pauses "Breathe Anastasia" he orders. I realize I'm holding my breath and take a gulp of air. "Are you beginning to understand that your little prank wasn't worth the penalty?" he says without emotion. This is a different kind of spanking than he has ever given me. Gone are the gentle strokes between spanks, the soft kneading of my backside. There is only the burning sting that builds with each stroke.

"You have ten more coming." With that, his hand descends again. The cumulative effect of the spanks makes each one sting more. This time, the spanks are not confined to my bottom but also on the back of my thighs and the tender place where my cheeks meet the top of my legs. "Stop" I yell.

It really stings. I have to stop this. I remember the safe word. "Red," I scream. Christian's hand stops in the air then rests on my back. "Anastasia, there isn't a safe word for punishments," he says patiently, but there is a hint of amusement in his voice too. "Safe words are for play."

I'm crying. "But it hurts"

"It's supposed to hurt. That's what punishment spankings are for. The purpose is to make certain you never want to commit the same offense, or to be in this position again." His hand descends again. I'm writhing beneath Christian's iron grasp.

Again the spanking stops and I wriggle on Christian's lap, trying to make the sting stop, trying to get off his hard legs. "Next time, and I sincerely hope there is never a next time, I suggest you come when I tell you and accept the punishment you deserve. This spanking would be over if you had cooperated."

The last 10 are the worst because they fall on an already sore and tender bottom. All the tension in my body collapses and I lie limply across Christian's lap. I have no fight left, only resignation, capitulation. And anger. Slow, burning anger because I'm helpless against his strength, his determination. How could he do this to me? How could he love me and hurt me like this?

Finally, Christian's hand falls for the last time. I sob quietly as Christian continues to hold me firmly across his lap for a few minutes. Picking me up, he sits me on his lap. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me to his chest. But I want none of his cuddling now. I'm too angry. I push away and try to wriggle off his lap.

Christian grabs both my arms and holds me in place, his face stern, his eyes blazing. "Oh no you don't, Anastasia. No pouting. Stop right now or I'll put you across my knee again. Do you want another spanking?"

I look down. I can't do anything to make him angrier. I couldn't stand another spanking. "Answer me," he snaps in a demanding voice. "No, Sir" I whisper. I haven't used that since he was trying to make me into a sub, and I'm not sure why it came out of my mouth now. I just want him to calm down, not be so angry with me. He pulls my body back to his chest and wraps his arms around me, kissing the top of my head softly. This time I don't resist. I don't dare.

"That's better, baby," he murmurs.

"Anastasia, you broke the only rule I have left for you." His voice is soft, soothing. "You put yourself at risk and I cannot and will not tolerate that. I punished you and now I've forgiven you. That's the way it works. It's over. Now I want to cuddle you and comfort you." He runs his hands smoothly over my hair and down my back, then down my arms while I sob and hiccup into his shirt.

I think back to the last time he really hurt me, when he used the belt on me in the Red Room of Pain. This was different, very different. Then he hurt me just to hurt me, for his pleasure. There was no reason except that it was what dominants do to subs. Now I know he loves me. Even though I hated it, I know he did it out of love, out of frustration and worry about my safety. It didn't hurt as much as the belt but in a way, it hurt worse because there was so much emotion in his voice, even in his hand as it struck me.

Christian lifts me up and places me on the bed gently, face down. He brushes my hair off my face with his long index finger and sits down beside me, gently rubbing my back. "Don't ever make me do that to you again," he says with a sad voice. "Ana, I love you so much. It would kill me if anything happened to you. I had to make you understand that I need to keep you safe and you cannot sabotage that."

"Christian, you scared me and hurt me. How could you do that to me." My voice is a whisper.

"I could only spank you like that because I love you so much. It wasn't easy for me to do. I've always enjoyed spanking to cause pain. It's a new experience for me to hate it, to hate hurting you. I don't like the feeling and I hope you never put me in the position where I have to repeat it."

"I don't want you to either. You haven't ever spanked me like that before" I whimper.

He lifts me up to sit facing him. I cross my legs in the same way he has his crossed and look into his sincere, thoughtful face.

"It was a first for me too, Anastasia. In my other relationships, punishment and spankings were part of the play. Submissives get pleasure from the pain, you don't. In a dominant and submissive relationships, the punishments are much harsher. But the relationships weren't real so neither was the control. It was a sexual release, a way to exert my domination. With you, it's so different. That was a real punishment, given out of love. You don't like pain so a simple spanking is very effective with you."

I try to understand what he's saying and have to admit that I do feel loved. I did flaunt his safety rules and the spanking did not seem the same as the way he described punishments to me when he first introduced me to his way of life. They sounded cold and scary, emotionless. This experience was anything but emotionless. Christian's emotions were raw, resolute but somehow loving. I'm amazed that I feel so comforted and safe. A tiny part of me knows his dominance turned me on. The fact that he really was in total control of me is…..well, sexy in a way. Still, I have a need to make him sorry he did it.

"But it hurt, a lot," I whimper.

"That was a punishment spanking, Ana. It's supposed to hurt, and hurt enough so that you never want to earn one again. Do you think you will ever try to give Taylor the slip again?"

"No, I guess not." I have to admit that it doesn't sound like fun anymore.

"You see?" He raises one eyebrow and smiles. "Very effective way to make sure you follow the rules." His tone is suddenly lighter. I'm not sure I like that but the change in the atmosphere is welcomed.

He looks at me intently. "So how do you feel now?"

"My bottom and my pride hurt considerably."

"Good." He smiles paternally at me. "But I meant how do you feel emotionally."

"I'm not sure I want to share that right now." If he knew how I felt, it would encourage him to employ his discipline more frequently. I'm not sure I want to encourage that.

"Anastasia, I asked you a question and I want an honest answer. Look at me!" His tone is stern. "If you're not honest, I'll know. I think I know how you feel and I don't think you want another spanking just yet."

I look down, embarrassed. "Safe" I whisper. "And loved and in a different space that I don't understand. And a little bit angry and very embarrassed."

"I thought so. Ana, don't you know that you were attracted to me in the first place, because of my dominance? None of the boys who swooned over you had that quality you were looking for. You wanted to be cared for, protected. You wanted someone who could handle your independence and intelligence, your stubbornness and your sassy mouth, someone who understood you and wanted to help you be the person you were meant to be."

He lifts my chin to study my eyes, my face. "Don't be embarrassed. I was attracted to you the first time I met you because I could sense that about you. But I was looking for another fake, dominant relationship. You changed all that. I want to be a real dominant in a real relationship, with someone I love. I want 'more'".

My anger melts as he gazes at me, so sincere, so loving. I realize I'm no longer afraid of him, in spite of the fact that he gave me a real, punishing spanking. It's what I was always afraid of in the beginning. Then I was lulled into the security that he promised never to punish me without my permission. I could always stop him. I had all the control; he often told me so. His reaction today was a demonstration that he was in control. Didn't I always know that? Since our marriage, his only response to my defiance had been to yell and scold and make sex a punishment. Or worse yet, pout and not speak to me. The spanking wasn't as bad at that, if I'm honest about it.

"I think your yelling at me and the punishment fucks were your way of showing me you were still in control. But I always sensed that you were not in control when you did those things. This was different."

"Yes it was, little one. It was a very controlled response. I don't want to make sex a punishment anymore. That's from my old life. Sex with you is entirely different and I want it to be wonderful for both of us. I do want you to obey me, though, despite what you finagled in our marriage vows. I want to be equals and I want us to have a normal, loving relationship. But I will be the dominant, with my wife, not my submissive. It's who I am. I can't suppress it anymore."

Like he's suppressed it before, I think. I put my head down again. This is a lot to think about. Our relationship just changed in a dramatic way. I need time to understand it all.

"You rest for a bit. I have to make some phone calls. And then we'll eat." He pats my back softly and turns to leave the room. For the first time, he notices the door was not closed all the way. I forgot about that. We look at each other. Shit, the staff probably heard the spanking.

I'm no longer sobbing but my thoughts are a maze of confusion. I'm mad at myself for eluding Taylor for one hour of shopping peace. I knew Christian would be angry, but I have always been able to get around that, to calm him and avoid the consequences of my stubbornness. I lay back down on the bed, on my stomach. My bottom doesn't really hurt. How do I feel about this? In truth, it wasn't that bad. Oh, it stung but only really while he was spanking. Now there is only a warmth and a slight soreness. My worst fears did not turn out to be reality. The true punishment of a spanking is the humiliation. Having my bottom bared and being so helpless over his knee is humbling. It's the total loss of control that's so scary, but yet so satisfying I admit reluctantly.

I seem to have come full circle, from being intimidated and scared of him at first, worried that he would really spank me or whip me or whatever, to secure in the knowledge that I could handle him no matter how angry he was, and now I'm back to fearing punishment if I disobey. "You handle him very well." That's what Kate says. I have been lulled into believing it. Christian is, at his very core, a Dom. And he can only be pushed so far. The thought hits me like lightening. It is, at once, a fearful and a comforting thought. Wow. This has been a wake up call, a new definition of our relationship. While the spanking was painful, it isn't anything most children don't experience. I realize that I have done my worst, at least as far as Christian is concerned, and he hasn't left me. I couldn't live without my crazy, controlling Fifty. Now I know. He may put me over his knee but he won't leave me. I smile at the thought and wonder how I have changed so much.

Christian comes back into the room carrying a try of food. He knows I'm embarrassed and don't want to face Gail. "Sit up" he says softly. I obey but I wince as I sit on my sore bottom. "It will only sting for a little while longer," he says flatly. "You know, I have been on the receiving end so I know how it feels."

"Mrs. Robinson?" I say disgustedly.

"No, our relationship was not like that. He smiles a far away smile. "I was referring to being spanked as a child." He looks at me sternly. "Eat." I pick up my sandwich and take a bite. It's turkey with lettuce and mayo.

He's right. It was like being spanked as a child, although Ray never did it so I don't really know. I always felt like he didn't think his rights as a stepfather extended to something so intimate. He threatened several times but somehow I knew he would never do it. That gave me license that I probably shouldn't have had.

I pick up my sandwich and take a another bite. "So you were spanked by your parents?" Somehow I can't imagine Christian as a small boy being put over Carrick's knee.

"Only once I think. Carrick and Grace were very cautious with me, for obvious reasons." That sadness comes over his face. "Elliot was punished a lot more than I was. Mia got away with more than both of us combined. As you can tell, it didn't do her much of a favor." We both smile at the thought of exuberant, sassy Mia.

I'm finding this look into his family fascinating. "What did you get spanked for?"

"I only remember once. It made a big impression on me. Elliot and I got caught playing with matches. We were setting fire to cardboard boxes in the boathouse. I was 7 or 8 and Elliot about 10. My Dad told us we were going to get spanked. I guess he couldn't very well have punished Elliot and not me. Even at a young age, I was quite aware that I was treated differently. So I was feeling a bit satisfied to be included like a normal child. I thought it made me more part of the family."

"Carrick had a whole process for his punishment. He made us go to our rooms and put on our pajamas. Even at the time I realized that it would hurt more over thin pajamas than thick jeans. He made us wait, seemed like forever but it was probably only 10 minutes. Then he sat on a chair and made us stand in front of him while he lectured us about the dangers of playing with fire. He made us say why we were being punished. Then he put us over his knee. I remember that it stung but it wasn't very hard. After what I had been through with my birth mother, it wasn't even painful. It was much more about the humiliation than the pain. Then he held us in his lap and kissed us and then made us go to bed. What I do remember is the feeling of being loved, of being treated as a normal kid. It was comforting, a feeling of security." A slight smile crosses his lips and he looks at me knowingly. I think Carrick and Grace must have struggled to raise Christian, never knowing how he would respond.

"Then my Mom snuck into our rooms with milk and cookies, warning us not to tell Dad. We've often laughed about that when we grew up. Like Carrick didn't know." He smirks. "Carrick and Grace were always on the same page about our upbringing. Dad finally admitted he used to send my mother up to make sure we were ok and felt loved."

"I think I can understand that feeling," I whisper.

"Being loved?" he asks

"Yes, but also the feeling of being secure."

"I was hoping you would, baby. I don't want you to be afraid of me but I do want you to be afraid to risk your life. I love you more than you can ever imagine and I'll do whatever I have to do to protect you. You _can_ push me too far, Anastasia. But now you know what I'll do if that happens again."

"Are we redefining our relationship? Because I feel like you are. You promised never to punish me. And you did it against my will. What does that mean for us?" I'm so confused. Now that the spanking is over, I do have a warm, secure feeling that I have never felt before. And, oddly, I feel Christian's love in yet another dimension.

"Well, I've been thinking about that. We are definitely not Dom and Sub. I don't even want that anymore, not with you. And frankly, Anastasia, you make a lousy sub." I can giggle at that now. It doesn't make me feel like I'm not what he really wants anymore.

"I love our relationship. I love your smart mouth and your intelligence and our banter and lovemaking. You've taught me so many things, about me, about life, about love. But I need control, Ana. It's who I'm. I can't stand that I don't have control over your safety. I spend my life worrying about you. You simply have no regard for your own preservation. You don't eat regularly, you put yourself in dangerous situations, you drink too much in places that aren't safe. And that doesn't even cover your heroics when you rescued by sister."

"You exaggerate every one of those things," I pout, "except maybe when Mia was kidnapped. "

Christian frowns and his eyes burn in remembrance. "At any rate, you're right about me growing old before my time. I don't really worry about work. I'm in control there and I know what I'm doing. The only thing that really matters to me in the world is you. And I have no control over you. It's making me crazy. When I spanked you with the belt and you left me, I…well, it was the worst feeling imaginable. I promised myself that I could give up all control to have you back. But Ana, we live our lives in a fishbowl. When you married me, you ceased being just Anastasia Steele. You became the wealthy Christian Grey's wife. That makes you a potential target for any crazy or jealous freak out there. I can't live like this, worrying what stupid stunt you're going to pull next that puts your life in danger."

Christian is pouring out his soul and his emotion is raw, sharp. I'm mesmerized by his soft voice and the emotion behind it. No, we can't live this way. It will kill my dear husband before he's forty. I've told him that many times but he's right: it's the way he's made. I can't change everything about him. I wouldn't want to. I fell in love with my Fifty Shades and all his control issues. Now we have to find a way to deal with it.

"I know you're right honey. You really are only content, at peace, when you're in control." I remember his boyish joy in Aspen when he admitted his good humor was because he knew I was safe. I remember our time on the Grace, out at sea with the wind blowing his always messed up hair and his wide, toothy smile.

"I thought marriage would help. You wouldn't worry about me leaving you. You would know I belonged to you. But that's not enough is it?"

My heart sinks and that panic feeling I used to get in the first months of our relationship overcomes me once again. My eyes fill with tears as I contemplate how I am failing my husband, not giving him the security that he gives me every day. Christian reaches over and pulls me into his lap.

"Don't cry, baby It's not so different than the way we've been, and look how happy we are. By the way, you aren't eating. If you don't finish your sandwich, I'll stop talking." Christian having a real discussion is still a rather rare treat. I take a sip of milk and a bite of my sandwich.

"You feel confused about what I want you to be, how I want you to behave. You've told me that many times. I do like your smart mouth and that you stand up to me. But I also want you to obey when it matters. I believe in punishment, Ana. It's what a dominant does. I don't want to treat you like I treated my submissives. I love you. I want to treat you as my cherished wife. I spanked you as a husband who was very disappointed in his wife. I want you to feel like my wife, not my sub, but a wife who has disobeyed her loving husband. I don't want to be like I was before you, before love, but I am who I am."

'I know," I murmur pensively. "And I love all of you, Christian. It's just that our relationship has gone through so many stages. It makes my head spin. I want some stability, some normalcy."

He shifts and lies on his side, still looking at me intently. "I never thought I would have the kind of relationship I have with you, Anastasia. We will always have the wonderful, loving relationship as equals we've created. I want you to be yourself, because that's the Ana I fell in love with and I don't want to change that. But I'm not going to ask your permission to punish you when you defy me. It hasn't worked for me, or for you really. I'll always have the right to make the final decisions and the responsibility to discipline you when you defy me. "

I'm intrigued by what he is describing and by his openness. Christian being totally honest about his feelings is a rare event. I'm not sure what he's telling me is I want, or what I would have chosen. But it is the reality. Christian always has the last word, always makes the decisions. Even when I get my way, it 's only because Christian lets me have it. And now he has asserted his authority over my punishment.

"Does this mean another contract?" I sigh in exasperation.

"No, our marriage was the only contract we'll ever have. I'm just talking about how we'll conduct our marriage."

"I want control of my career." If we're negotiating, I want to make sure I get the most important things on the table first.

"Ana, you have control of your career."

"Only because you bought the company. That doesn't count as my control."

"I told you it was a wedding present. It's yours in less than a year."

"I'm not an idiot, Christian. If I screwed up at Grey Publishing, you would take over and change directions in a heartbeat."

"Good point, well made," he says smiling. "You've always been a great negotiator. How about you allow me to mentor you in business affairs and I promise not to interfere without discussing it with you? That way it can be a family business, a joint venture, so to speak."

"I like that." I feel like I have won a critical round and I smile broadly.

"That's better, Mrs. Grey. I love your smile."

"Thank you Mr. Grey. But why I gifted you with my valuable smile after what you did to me is a mystery."

"Not to me it isn't. A good spanking is quite cathartic….for both of us," he adds. He smiles down at me knowingly. "We will never have the kind of relationship where we fight for days or weeks, or drift apart because we have differences we can't resolve. You know what I'm talking about. The days I spent at work or here in my office when we weren't speaking to each other. That happens in a lot of marriages and I don't want to go through that every time we fight or disagree. A punishment can be over quickly. It clears the air and puts the relationship right again. Just think about tonight. If I hadn't punished you, I would be angry for days. I would worry every day that you were giving security the slip and putting yourself in danger. We would be apart, both suffering in our own private worlds. I imagine if that happens often enough, the couple grows apart."

"I don't want that either." I remember the days of misery during the fight over our vows and the pregnancy. Oh, the hurt startles me. Will I ever heal that terrible sorrow?

"We'll both know the rules and we'll both know how differences get settled." I won't ask your permission to punish you ever again. We'll discuss things, like we do now, but if we disagree, my decision is final. Do you understand?"

"Do I have any say about this?"

"No, you don't, Anastasia. We've tried it your way. You refused to vow to obey me when we got married and it's not working for either of us. I never know what you're going to do next to defy me and when I lose my temper, you cringe and clam up. I don't like to see you fear me. It's not what I want our marriage to be."

"And you don't think I'll fear you if I never know when or why you'll punish me?"

Christian rubs his hands through his hair, his impatient gesture. "No, Ana, I don't. I don't have many rules, even though you think I do. Really, there are just two. I want you to cooperate about safety issues and I want you to be respectful. I don't think that's any different than most marriages should be."

"Most marriages don't include the wife getting spanked," I say in an accusing tone.

"Actually that happens more than you think. And even if it didn't, it's the way our marriage will be. You need someone to take care of you, Ana. You want it, well, maybe not the five minutes you're over my knee, but the rest of the time. You chose me; you married me because of who I am with you. And I need to be who I am."

I think about this but my thoughts are too confused. I never thought of myself being punished like a child when I thought of marriage. I treasured my freedom, and if I was honest with myself, I loved being the stubborn, somewhat sassy, independent person I thought myself to be. But I did chose Christian, over all the other boys who had crushes on me. He's right about that.

"You have never admitted it, Ana, but you're a wonderful Sub in the Red Room of Pain, as you call it. That's the only place where you can pull that off but it satisfies a deep need in me. And I think it does the same for you."

"It satisfies something in me too," I laugh. "I think it's the need for multiple orgasms."

We are silent for a few minutes as we both absorb the beauty of that part of our relationship.

He nods toward my sandwich and I pick it up again. Yes, he will always be bossy Christian. He is what he is. But he said we were equals. I like that. I can see Christian relax already. He has a need for order and rules and control in his life. He has to know that he is in charge. I couldn't be his sub, but that isn't what he wants anymore and we have a much richer, more exciting, loving relationship.

"Christian, you have always been the head of the household. It's your household, your castle. The staff follows your orders. You've always punished me whenever you wanted, only it's usually yelling or punishment fucks. You're just adding a new method to your repertoire."

"Yet another fair point, well made."

Christian turns serious again. "There's one more thing you need to hear. I meant what I said about the security staff bringing you directly home if you try that again. I also told them I don't think the security detail will have any more problems with you giving them the slip. If you do, I'll know and you'll find yourself over my knee again. And it will not be pleasant. Understand?"

"I guess I thought that was a given. You don't have to rub it in."

"Sassy already, even with a sore bottom. You are nothing if not brave, Mrs. Grey." I'm duly chastised and resolve to keep my sarcasm in check, at least for now. But I saw him try not to smile when he said it.

"I have also given Taylor orders to hire a female security officer again. We need someone who can follow you into dressing rooms and power rooms. We're going to hire someone as soon as possible." Damn, I think. For some reason I don't like female security officers. I don't know why. Maybe I just don't like new ones. This is not the time to argue, Ana, I warn myself.

"So how did you find me anyway?" I'm curious.

"Taylor asked the clerk to check the dressing rooms and when you weren't there, he called me. We had Welch trace your car to the mall and then Sawyer and I started through the stores looking for you. Taylor waited by the car in case you turned up." He says this as if it was something that happens every day. Simple. Christian doesn't stalk alone. He has a whole company of stalkers. I should have known he could find me.

Christian reaches over and takes my tray to put it on the nightstand. "And now, baby, we make up." He runs his hand up my leg. His voice is silky soft and I melt into his arms. "This is my version of the milk and cookies," he smiles.

He takes off the rest of my clothes. He doesn't do that often. Mostly he makes me strip for him. Then he gets naked himself. He lays me on my back and scoots down between my legs, touching me gently at first. "Either that spanking or our talk had an effect down here," he says in his sultry way. "I love the taste of you. You taste of passion and arousal. It's a heady, Ana taste, unique, just like you." My bottom comes off the bed to meet him. "No, this is my treat. Lie still," he says sternly, looking up briefly.

My body responds to his touch and then to his command and I orgasm, calling his name. He rises up and enters me. His arms are on either side of me and he looks at me as if he's devouring me. He wants this to last, I can tell. He is taking his time. He squeezes my breasts. "You have the most perfect breasts, Ana. They are exquisite." He runs his long fingers down my stomach. Then he resumes his passionate, zealous thrusts and comes inside me as I climax again and again.

I wake up still feeling sated from the satisfying finish to the latest Christian vs. Ana round. I look lovingly at my beautiful husband. As always, he looks younger in his sleep, tousled hair, serene expression. Such a different man than the one who put me over his knee and spanked me. I doubt I will ever tell him but part of me likes that Christian too. I'm overwhelmed that he punished me out of love, not sex, not dominance, not play. It has taken our relationship to a whole new level. And oddly, I'm not afraid of him. Actually, I feel more secure in our relationship. The spanking was not all that bad if I'm honest about it. It did hurt but the pain didn't last and I can't feel it at all this morning. I rub my butt. Nope. It is back to normal. The part I'm still confused about is that even the punishment spanking turned me on. I wonder if Christian knew that. Would he be angry that I got some pleasure from what was supposed to be purely punishment? I'll have to wait for the right time to discuss that.

Christian stirs beside me and opens his eyes. "Good morning, Mrs. Grey." He is so sensual in the morning. "Come cuddle with me." He pulls me into his arms, spooning me as he cups my breasts. "How did I ever deserve such a perfect wife?"

"You didn't think I was so perfect yesterday." I can't help pointing out to him that we both have another side to this relationship.

"Oh, you were still perfect" he smirks. "Perfectly naughty."

"Gee, thanks for the compliment" I say ruefully.

"You're welcome. Shall I show you how much I love you in the way you like better?"

"Oh Mr. Grey, I'm always ready for that."

"Yes you are, Mrs. Grey. You never disappoint."

"Let's take a bath first. I want to touch you all over."

He runs the bath water and turns to me. "Arms up" he commands. He pulls the nightgown over my head, careful to run his hand up the sides of my body in a sensual, light touch. He takes my hand to help me step into the water. Then he peels his pajama bottoms off and steps in after me.

He soaps a washcloth and begins gently washing my body, my back, my bottom, and my sex. Then he covers my thighs, my stomach, and my neck. I can feel my arousal. He puts his hand on my vagina. "So responsive, Ana. I like that."

He pulls me into his lap, facing him, and hands me the washcloth. "Your turn." His eyes peer into mine in a look of total satisfaction. I return the favor and wash him gently, taking great care to wash him thoroughly where it counts. It responds and suddenly there is much more to wash. He smiles. "You do turn me on Mrs. Grey."

He pulls me in front of him and dunks my hair in the water. "I need to wash your hair," he says belatedly.

"No, I'll do it." I like to wash my own hair.

"Mrs. Grey, did you just say 'no' to me?" His voice is quiet but challenging.

"No, Sir." I back down from this stern Christian. But his voice has made me even wetter. I can remember when I thought calling him 'sir' was the height of humiliation. Now he just seems like my Sir, and it gives me a thrill to say it.

"Good, I thought I was going to have to provide incentive."

He washes and rinses my hair.

After our bath, he lays me on the bed and crawls on top of me. "This will be a quick one. Ok?"

"Ok, I like it every way." I purr.

Mrs. Jones is in the kitchen making breakfast when we appear, sated, showered and dressed for a leisurely Saturday, in jeans and t-shirts. She smiles warmly at me, a tinge of sympathy in her look. Shoot, she knows what happened last night. Will I ever get used to having our lives be an open book to all the staff?

"Good morning Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey. What can I make you for breakfast? I have bacon ready. Would you like omelets?"

"Yes" both of us answer together then smile at each other.

"Mrs. Jones, aren't you taking today off?" I ask. She is always off on Saturdays.

Christian looks suddenly embarrassed. "I've given Gail more flexibility in her schedule. She would like some weekdays off once in a while and she feels it would be better to be here to help out when we're home on the weekends. We'll be having more guests, doing more entertaining." He pauses and looks at me warily. We both know he is referring to the years when he had a sub on weekends and didn't need Mrs. Jones.

"But I should have asked you first," he admits. "Gail, from now on you work out your schedule with Mrs. Grey. She's in charge of the house now and I'm sure you two can make all the plans." I remember Mrs. Jones asking to plan the week's menu with me when we returned from our honeymoon. It surprised me at the time. What do I know about supervising a staff?

"I would like that very much Mr. Grey. I think Mrs. Grey would be able to take a more active role in the planning." She blushes.

Christian laughs. "Ok, that's not one of my priorities. Then it's all settled."

Another change in our relationship. This is coming fast. Not six months ago, I was a simple college student, studying for exams and restocking shelves at Claytons. Now I'm supposed to run a company and supervise a household. Never, never in my wildest imagination, did I see this coming in my life. My dreams were vague, of a small house and a loving, uncomplicated husband…..is there any such thing? How would I know? Maybe all husbands are complicated, though I'm pretty sure not in the way Christian is. I would be reading and editing books at some nice company where I fit in and went out for drinks after work with my coworkers. I need to tell Christian this. I need to talk it out and ask him to go a little slower raising me. Yes, that's it. He is turning me into an adult too fast.I long for the simplicity of my college days.

"Ana, what are you thinking? You look confused. Don't you want to run the house?"

"I don't know how," I admit softly. "I suddenly have visions of dinner parties and company functions and I don't know how to do any of that."

"Mrs. Grey, that's why you have me," Mrs. Jones says reassuringly. "We can do anything together. You'll find you know more than you think. You're a great cook. You have excellent taste. We'll have fun planning parties."

"See? No problem." Issues like this are simple in Christian's world. "Why don't you try it out this weekend? Invite my family for dinner tomorrow evening. Start small, with just the family. They'll love it. I've never had them over for dinner. Elliot thinks the only thing I ever eat is pizza."

Me entertaining. That's a new concept. He looks excited, even thrilled over the prospect. My mercurial Fifty. He wants to be normal, have dinner parties at the house. I really have taken him into the light. The thought makes me warm inside and I smile lovingly at him and nod my assent.

"Good, then it's all settled. Let me call to invite them. I want the pleasure of hearing their shock." His smile is genuine Christian.

"Mrs. Jones, we're giving a party. I guess we should start planning." I'm excited to do this, to do it for Christian. I have a new insight into Christian since our discussion last night. Being spanked by Carrick made him feel more normal, more accepted. "This is such a normal conversation," I remember him saying when we first talked about my driving his car. Now he wants to entertain because it's so normal. He has always felt alienated, different, isolated in his tower at work and his castle at home. I remember his telling me he didn't fit into his perfect family. Now he belongs, to me, to his family. He wants to experience "normal." I can do this for him.

"Good, I have work to do so I'll leave you two to plan our initiation as hosts." He heads off to his office.

I look at Mrs. Jones quizzically. "I don't even know how to start," I admit. Mrs. Jones smiles reassuringly. "Well, we start with a menu. What would you like to serve for dinner?"

I remember the BBQ's at the Grey's with Carrick in a chef's apron flipping burgers on the grill. Christian is certainly not ready for that….the thought makes me laugh. "I was just thinking of Christian in a chef's apron, flipping burgers. That's never going to happen." Mrs. Jones giggles at the thought. "No, I think you're right about that. Mr. Grey has changed a lot, but I don't think you'll get there with him." We laugh in a conspiratorial way and I know that Mrs. Jones has seen a big change in her mercurial and unconventional employer.

"Ok, how about salmon for starters?" Mrs. Jones nods and we make a list. "I'll need to go to the store to get what we need."

"Oh, I want to go too" I state firmly.

"That's my job Mrs. Grey. You don't need to go." I'm sure she is thinking of my shopping disaster yesterday and the consequences.

"No, I want to do this. We'll take Taylor" I assure her.

Saturday evening with nothing to do. "What would you like to do Mrs. Grey? I know what I'm always up for. And you have never disappointed in that regard."

"I would like to talk about this new aspect of our relationship. I feel very unsettled when I don't know what the rules are. We've been through so many different versions of our relationship and this is another twist that I'm not sure I like."

"Ok Mrs. Grey. Our new normal.' He stresses the last word. "Let me think a minute." He takes me to the couch and sits me on his lap, pulling my head to his chest and kissing the top of it. "Oh, I love having you on my lap, baby. You smell heavenly." He fondles my breast with the hand that's wrapped around me. After a few minutes, he lifts my chin and plants a soft, sensual kiss on my lips. "Mrs. Grey, I want you to go to the playroom and prepare yourself. Do just as I have instructed you. I want you kneeling with only your panties on. I'll be there in a few minutes."

I look up at him, surprised. "But I wanted to talk," I protest.

"Oh, we'll talk, among other things," he says with his secret, mysterious smile. He gives me a little push. "Go," he says sternly.

I get that little thrill when I even think of the Red Room of Pain and I feel the constriction deep inside. I climb off his lap and head upstairs. I get the key off its hook and enter the room that once terrified me. I turn on the low, indirect light that bathes the room in a soft, subtle glow that makes everything look alluring. Now this room represents a treat, a treat we don't have time for very often. Everything is just the way it always was, except the scary canes and whips are gone. The only implements still hanging on the wall are mostly the things I like, the crop, the soft flogger, the feathering thing. Two paddles are still there, though. They still give me a shiver, more so now that Christian has decided he doesn't need my permission to punish me. But he's never used them, I remind myself.

I remove my clothes and kneel on the floor in the position Christian has dictated. I'm wet already. I always am while the anticipation grows. I think about some of the times we've been in here, the sexually charged state we are both in. Christian is inventive. I never know exactly what to expect.

I hear the door open and Christian stands in front of me. My head is down, just as he likes, so I can only see his bare feet and the bottoms of his sexy, playroom jeans. Geez, they turn me on. "Good girl," he says softly. "I am your husband. And you are my wife. All mine to do with as I please." My heart skips a beat. This is dominant Christian, but the sexy, dominant one. There is always that twinge of apprehension, but it heightens the sexual arousal. I've have learned to love that part.

"Stand up," he orders and takes my hand to help me. He has something new in his hand. It looks like black leather cuffs. "Do you trust me?" he asks. Uh Oh. He only asks that when we are going to do something new. "Yes, I trust you." I can say it convincingly now. This is my husband, the man who adores me and would never hurt me.

He takes my hand and puts a cuff on my wrist. It's black leather but it's lined with soft white fur of some kind. It feels soft against my skin. "These are new," he announces. "After those handcuffs left marks on your wrist, I purchased the kind of restraints that my cherished wife should have." The irony of that doesn't escape me and I stifle a giggle. You don't giggle in the Red Room of Pain. Instead I smile at him appreciatively, secretly remembering that I actually liked the handcuffs.

He cuffs the other hand and leads me to the spanking bench. Now that has always scared me. Christian has never mentioned it or taken me anywhere near it. I pull back instinctively as my body starts to panic. Christian stops immediately. "Trust me, Anastasia. I'm not going to hurt you. Have we ever done anything in here that you didn't like?"

"No," I admit reluctantly. He puts his hands on my waist and gently leans me over the wide bench. It's padded and more comfortable than it looks. My head isn't hanging low like it is when Christian puts me across his knee. He takes one of my hands and snaps the cuff onto a clip attached to one of the legs. Then he does the same to my other hand.

"How are you doing? Does it feel Ok?" he asks in a soothing tone.

"It's Ok, but I'm a little scared."

"Don't be. I'm not going to hurt you. You always want me to talk, so I'm going to talk. And you're going to listen. I think you'll listen carefully in this position. And then I'm going to pleasure you. How does that sound?"

"Can't we do all that on the bed? I'd feel more comfortable on the bed."

"In time," he says. "For now, I don't want you comfortable. I want you submissive."

He moves away and I can hear him opening the draws of the toy hutch. He comes back to me. "Baby, I'm going to put a plug in you. I want you to relax." I can feel something cold against my bottom. "This is a small one. It won't hurt." Gad, that turns me on. I start writhing with the stimulation. "Hold still," he orders. It's pure, dominant Christian, soft but commanding. He presses it in and out gently, then with one thrust, seats it completely in my bottom. I almost orgasm but stop myself. He knows. "Good girl. I don't want you to come yet. I'll spank you if you do."

He leaves again and then I can hear him coming near me. I feel the soft feathers of the long thing I don't know the name of but I call it the 'wings' because it reminds me of a large bird's feathery wings. He slowly brushes it across my back.

"Anastasia, you know I've never been dominant with someone I love. It was always just pretend, a game to fulfill my sexual fantasies. I had to be severe with my submissives to reach the satisfaction I craved. But it was never enough. I always wanted 'more' but I didn't know what 'more' was or how to get it. You are my 'more.' This isn't pretend. It's real. It's the ultimate satisfaction for me to dominate you in the loving way that I didn't know was possible."

His voice is soft but very firm, dominant but with a tenderness that somehow seems congruent. It almost sounds like there's a touch of sadness in it. He continues to softly caress my body, my legs, my back with the soft feather, making me relax and just drink in the sensations on my skin. I flex my buttocks, feeling the plug inside me. The combination of the restraints, the plug, the feather, and most of all his voice, all take me to the 'space', as Christian calls it, of pure submission to his will, to whatever he's going to do to me.

"I need to discipline you, Anastasia, when I want and how I want. I need that control. I am lost and anxious without it. Control is my nature. It's how I function in my life, in my work, in my world. I have never wanted to dominate anyone as much as I want to dominate you. Every relationship I've ever had pales in comparison. Dominating you is the most fulfilling thing I've ever done. Dominating someone I love more than life itself is my heaven on earth. It's more than I ever thought possible, and quite possibly more than I've ever deserved."

He has abandoned the feather and now touches me all over with his hands. They are soft touches, roaming all over my body, even stroking the palms of my cuffed hands. He reaches between my legs and palms my sex. "You are dripping wet, my dear. That's the way I like you best. You love your dominant husband and your body shows me that."

"You do act like a little girl at times, baby, a very naughty little girl, but I love the little girl in you. I try to remember that you are barely out of your teens, that you were an innocent virgin when I first took you to my bed. I try to understand that you have had a lot to adjust to in your new life. I try to be sympathetic to your need for independence and your hatred of the security precautions. But none of that understanding matters when it comes to your safety. I will protect you." When he says the last sentence, he gives me a smack on my backside. I'm not expecting that amid his gentle stroking. My body jerks. "Ouch," I cry.

"Quiet. You're here to listen," he says in a reprimanding tone. He stimulates me again, less gently than before. His fingers reflect his change in tone. His complete power over my sexual response to his touch overwhelms me and I again try to stifle an orgasm.

He resumes his soft touch and his soothing voice. "I want us to have a loving, happy marriage, Anastasia. I don't want to fight and be estranged every time you break my rules. It won't happen again. I am an exceptionally good disciplinarian and I will no longer stifle that in our relationship. It's not the same thing as my original proposal to you, not the same at all. I don't want to hurt you or cane you or whip you. The thought is abhorrent to me. I want you to touch me and hug me and wash my whole body. I melt when you gaze lovingly into my eyes. That was all new to me. I want to discipline you as my wife, not as a sub. The spanking you got for slipping away from Taylor was well deserved. It was cathartic for both of us. I hope it will convince you never to put your life at risk again. If you do, the spanking you get will be longer and harder. That's a promise. I have to keep you safe." He punctuates his words by smacking my bottom again, right on the plug so that it shoves deeper into me. He is driving his words home with a reminder that I am at his mercy and he is in control.

"I will never hurt you, Anastasia. I hope you realize that my love for you would never allow that. But I will enforce my rules. You _will obey me. And you will be respectful to me_," he says sternly, more loudly and in his most severe, dominant voice. "And you will learn to follow those rules over my knee if necessary."

There is a pause. He is no longer touching me. I can feel him standing over me, looking at me. Am I supposed to say something? Should I respond to what he has said? My body is a mass of sensation, from his touch and his announcements.

"Am I supposed to say something?" I ask hesitantly.

"No, tonight you just listen. I don't require your acceptance or your approval. I'm telling you how I will conduct our marriage. This isn't a discussion." He unhooks my cuffs and lifts me into his arms, kissing me hard. I open my mouth to his tongue, responding to his kiss with the passion he has aroused with his tenderness and his dominance. He carries me to the bed and attaches the cuffs above my head. He goes to the toy cabinet again and opens a drawer. When he comes back, he has white, silky rope in his hands. He pushes my ankles up to my thighs and ties the rope around my bent legs, pushing them apart.

"I own you, Anastasia. You are my wife and the love of my life. I love your body." I didn't notice it but his hand comes up with a vibrator in it. He turns it on. "Don't come. I forbid it. I own your orgasms, Anastasia. You will get relief when I say so." I try to control my response but just having him say that increases my need. Being controlled is hot. I'll never understand why, but I've learned to accept it and just enjoy the experience.

Just when I think I will lose control, he turns off the vibrator and undresses. He crawls between my legs and unties the ropes. It is heaven to have him in me. I start to move. "No Ana," he says in a low voice. "This is my treat." He thrusts inside me. It's an overwhelming response because I waited so long for it.

Christian smiles down at me and kisses me gently. "Feel better?" he asks. I nod, too exhausted to respond. He takes off my cuffs and rolls me over. He removes the plug, taking it over to the sink. He returns with a wet washcloth and gently wipes my private areas. They sure aren't private to him, I think, luxuriating in his gentle ministrations.

He returns the washcloth to the sink and sits on the bed, laying down with his head rested on his arm. "Turn over and look at me," he says. I comply. "Well, Mrs. Grey, your turn. What have you got to say for yourself?"

"Well, it's a lot different than the way you wanted our relationship to be at first. It doesn't scare me, I guess. All the rules you wanted weren't about loving. They were harsh and scary and there was no emotional connection. You know I wanted more. I think you've always had the control, even when you didn't feel like you did. I always know that somehow there will be consequences when I don't do what you tell me. But I never thought you'd really punish me. Not since you told me you wouldn't without my permission." I sigh in frustration. "I'm having trouble putting my thoughts into words. They're all scrambled."

"That agreement is over, honey. It didn't work for me. And I don't think it worked for you either. You need the security of knowing the limits. You know I love your independence and that you stand up to me when you need to. But disobedience won't be tolerated. No arguments. No excuses."

"Ok, ok. I get the message."

"Good," he says simply, ignoring my defiant tone.

Suddenly I get a blinding flash of the obvious. It all becomes clear. "You know what I'm thinking?" There is awe in my voice, like I've just discovered the secret of the universe. "I think what is missing is that I have to acknowledge your control, to myself even more than to you. You always told me I was the one in control. But you need me to admit it. That's how I have control. I give it to you willingly. I wouldn't sign your contract long ago, but you still need me to acknowledge your control of the relationship. You don't want to ask me to allow you to punish me because then you aren't the dominant."

"Yes, baby" he says softly and kisses the back of my head. "That is exactly the control you have. But, just like that contract in the beginning of our relationship, you only give it once. And I've decided you already did that. You married me knowing who I am and what I want from the relationship. You don't have to say it again. You said 'I do' and I choose to take that literally. That's what has been wrong with our relationship. I've been asking you for permission every time we have an issue. It can't work like that."

"I know."

He turns me toward him and looks intensely at me. He wants this, I can tell. "It sounds so much better than the Dom/Sum one. But Christian, I think it is even better than the 'hands off' approach we agreed to when I came back to you. I know that doesn't meet your need for control. But it hasn't completely met mine either. I never know what the limits are or when you will get mad at me. When you don't speak to me for days, I'm sure you are going to leave me."

"Anastasia Grey, what exactly do I have to do to convince you that will never happen?" He is exasperated, running his hand through his hair.

"You see! I never know what's going to make you mad."

"Well, maybe my new approach will help. You'll always know that if you push me too far, you'll be punished. Ergo, you will never have to worry that I'll leave you."

"Sometimes when you scream at me I still get intimidated."

"I was very controlled last night. I was stern but I didn't yell. And the spanking was not all that hard, at least by my standards it wasn't. But you have to accept that I'm a passionate man. I've always struggled to control my anger. But as angry as I get, I would never, could never, really hurt you. Last night's spanking was supposed to sting but it didn't hurt you. Your bottom wasn't even pink for long. Are you ok with that as a promise?"

"Yes, as you've told me, the worst fear is in my mind. The spanking didn't really hurt all that much."

"It didn't?" he grins mischievously. "Perhaps I should modify my technique."

"I respectfully withdraw that last comment."

"Too late, baby."

"I want to find new ways to deal with you, not the ways I dealt with my subs. You're my wife, the love of my life. I want this relationship to be different. I want you to obey me but I want to find new ways to provide consequences, not the whips and canes and nipple clamps. If you don't want me to yell at you, I'll have to get better at other kinds of discipline." He is grinning his sexiest grin.

"What does that mean?" I ask, that little fear nagging at me.

"Well, there are lots of consequences besides spankings. I don't want to do that very often. Believe it or not, it's hard for me to hurt you at all. I may put you in the corner or make you sit on a chair. By the way, I am grounding you for a week for your little stunt at the mall. And that means you're back to being chauffeured."

"Christian," I shriek. "You can't do that. I'm not a teenager."

"You're not far from it either. And you certainly acted like one."

"That's not fair. You already punished me."

"That's for me to decide. No arguments. I've been thinking about this since last night. You deserve more than that little spanking. I don't ever want you to put your life at risk. I've told you that many times. So I'm going to make sure you never want to do it again."

I turn away from him. Now I'm angry. "I don't want to be punished like a child," I say petulantly.

"Then don't act like one," he responds, stroking my back.

"When do I act like a child?" I am insulted now.

"When you refuse to eat, when you refuse to cooperate with security, when you stay out drinking against my orders, when you jump on a jet ski in the middle of the ocean without telling me…..

"OK, ok," I cut him off, moving over in the bed. "I get the picture. But I don't like this part of the arrangement." Christian ignores my comment

"Ana, don't turn away from me. Do you understand why I wouldn't let you pout last night? We can never end a punishment session with estrangement. If it doesn't bring us closer together, it will tear us apart." He is serious and looks at me intently.

"That will be hard for me. I get mad when you punish me. I can't promise I'll be great at that."

"Don't worry about it. I can help get you there. And I'll enjoy doing it."

"So, will you promise never to use anything but your hand?"

"Ana, I may use some implements sometimes but I'll never exceed your limits. Some of them don't hurt as bad as my hand. This is based on trust. Don't you trust me yet?"

"Yes, I guess I do. I just don't trust paddles and crops and your belt." He knows I am remembering the belting I received that made me leave Christian.

"Ana, that spanking was given in a very different context. I thought I would enjoy hurting you. It was the only way I knew. It was not given lovingly, for a good purpose, in a trusting environment. You have to let go of that. It was under a different arrangement. And if you remember correctly, you asked me to do it." He pauses to think for a minute. "Maybe I need to give you a belting in a different way, with love and concern for you. Maybe that will erase the bad memory you have."

"No thanks. I'll try to forget it on my own."

All this talk of his control, his discipline has made me wet again. My nether parts have come alive. Those constrictions are happening against my wishes. Why does this idea do that to me? I remember my first spanking at Christian's hands, when I got turned on, embarrassed. I didn't understand it then and, frankly, I still don't.

"It turns you on, doesn't it Ana?" Why, oh why does he always know? "Ana, you were meant for this kind of relationship. I've told you. Listen to your body. Don't worry about what you _should_ think about it. Just accept that you are wired this way. I think I knew that the day you fell into my office. I just didn't understand the whole package."

Maybe that's right. I won't argue with him about it. How can I? I'm dripping wet. But no matter what he says, I'm never standing in the corner.

Christian pulls me to his chest and hugs me. "This is making me really hot too. I want to make love to you again." Sexy Christian has emerged and I'm more than ready to get back to what we really do best in our relationship. The arrangement we have about sex is the best one.

25


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Sunday morning arrives and I wake up with a start. Something is bothering me. It dawns on me. I'm giving a dinner party. Anxiety overwhelms me. The Grey's are consummate hosts. I think of the elegant benefit for Coping Together, our wedding and reception, the wonderful dinner parties for family. I can't live up to that standard. I'll fail miserably and be embarrassed. I wasn't raised in luxury like Christian and Kate. I don't know what I'm doing.

"What's the frown for?" Christian is waking up and reaches over for me.

"I can't have this dinner party. It's too soon. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Oh nonsense" he says sleepily. "Gail will help you. It's only family. You'll be fine." He cups my breast with one hand and cups the part of me further south with the other. He smells my hair and kisses me on the head. I pull away from him. I'm not in the mood for that.

"Mrs. Grey? Are you telling me 'no'? We're testing the boundaries of our new relationship rather soon, aren't we?" He sounds stern but I can tell he's amused.

"No, Mr. Grey. I'm just really anxious about this. I'm in over my head. I was thinking yesterday about all the changes in my life. You're making me grow up too fast. I just lost my virginity less than six months ago. I was an innocent college kid. Now I'm supposed to run a company, supervise a home, be the consummate hostess. And that doesn't even count three, uh, arrangements for our relationship in six months.

Christian can't stop himself. He laughs. "Good point, well made Mrs. Grey. I guess I do demand a lot. But didn't I make that clear before you said 'I do?"

His humor is infectious and I giggle. "It's a ridiculous amount of change."

"How do you feel about last night?" He's leaning his head on his hand.

"Well, it's better than the first _arrangement _you offered me." I say sarcastically. "Last night, when we were in the Red Room of Pain, it seemed sexy. In the light of day, it's a little unnerving. I think it will be better than all the fighting and not speaking to each other." He waits patiently while I gather my thoughts. "It's not the decision making part that I worry about. You have always been the head of this household and I can't even imagine it any other way. This isn't really my household yet. It feels like home now but it's still your castle and you're the king here. But I'm the one who might get punished and that's still a scary thought."

"Scary because you fear the pain or because you fear the control?" He lifts my chin so he can look into my eyes." Does he always have to be so insightful? Geez, he goes right to the point.

"I guess it's not the pain anymore. You've never given me much pain, though that spanking did hurt" I hasten to add lest he gets the idea to be harsher in the future. "And I admit you were right about it being mostly in my head. But the thought of those implements still scares me."

"Ana, it won't be any different with an implement. They hurt in a different way than my hand does, not necessarily worse. It's the emotion they evoke that makes them so effective, not more pain."

"Still, can we take them off the table?"

"No."

"Are you trying to make this hard?" His stubbornness is making me mad.

"I'm trying to be realistic. You're going to be pretty sorry if you argue about a punishment every time you get in trouble. I'm feeling hurt that you don't trust me. Have I ever, even remotely, come close to hurting you?" He looks intently at me.

"I used to worry that you would, when you really lost your temper. When you were shouting at me. You're a lot bigger and stronger than me, Christian. That can be pretty intimidating when you are angry."

"Well, I'm learning to control my temper. And, once again, I ask you….even when I was really mad at you, did I ever hurt you?"

"You spanked me with a belt" I whisper.

He sighs in exasperation. "Anastasia, I wasn't in a temper then and you know it. If you'll remember, you asked me to do it. That was when I still thought I wanted you to be a submissive. I spanked you in the way I would a submissive, no emotional connection." He pulls his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Someday we're going to erase that demon. I'm just waiting for the appropriate time."

"What's that supposed to mean?" It sounds like a threat.

"Just that I want to make you forget it. And you will, in time. But it has nothing to do with us, here, now." He pulls me onto his lap with my back to his front, and nuzzles his face in my hair.

"I'm still waiting for an answer to my question. Are you afraid of the pain or the control?" he asks in a soothing voice.

"I guess it's the control," I say with resignation.

"Now we're getting somewhere. Baby, power exchange and control are the sexiest form of love. That's the new world you've made me see. All those years with my submissives were just about domination for the sake of domination. It gave me sexual release and it kept me safe from emotional entanglements. I was very good at it. Dominating you is a whole new experience. It's about dominating out of love and that gives it a meaning I could never imagine before. It's so much more fulfilling that it almost seems ethereal. Now that I understand it better, I can't imagine anything more fulfilling than a power exchange relationship 24/7 with someone you love."

I'm mesmerized by his admissions. All the confusion about whether I can fulfill his needs seem clearer. He can still be the Dom but it's better with me, not diminished but more complete, more satisfying. It seems like a weight I was subconsciously carrying has suddenly been lifted.

"That explains a lot," I murmur. "I really do fill your needs. I've always worried about that."

"Anastasia, you have no idea. Someday I hope you realize how perfect you are for me." He turns me around to face him. "My only worry is that, if you ever really do accept what you mean to me, it will give you all the power in the relationship." He's smiling.

"Well, I just may have to try harder to understand that," I tease.

"So, back to control. The simple fact is that it turns you on. Submission does that. I don't think there is a woman alive who wouldn't find it erotic as hell if she ever let herself surrender to it. Most never have that experience. I'm not saying they all want to be submissives because that's a different thing altogether, as you have discovered. But I believe most of them long for the security and the peace that comes with someone taking control of the relationship."

He gives me his 'I know you better than you know yourself' look. It always makes me squirm. He scoots up in the bed so his back is resting against the pillows, his legs straight out in front of him. "Come here, little one," he orders softly.

I scoot over to him and he takes my arm and lays me across his upper thighs. "Wait," I protest. "I didn't do anything." Slowly and gently, he raises my nightgown up to my waist. He holds me down with one arm and begins to caress my bottom. "Now then, how do you feel? Am I hurting you? I'm not going to spank you," he says in a soothing vice. He's waiting for an answer but I can't say it.

"Cat got your tongue, little one?" he teases. "Ok, I'll tell _you_." He reaches his hand between my legs. "Oh, what have we here? My little one is soooo turned on. She loves being totally controlled. Her submissive space is warm and secure and erotic, all at once. She goes to a different place where she gives herself to her dominant husband completely." He draws his fingers lightly up the back of my legs then over my backside. It's so sensual that I shiver and my bottom clenches and that deep part in my belly quivers.

"This is the ultimate position of dominance and submission. I don't have to spank you. There isn't any pain involved. But you are totally controlled. You can't move. You can't get away. You have to admit that I'm stronger than you are. Your bottom is bared and that makes you vulnerable. It's a child's position and that is embarrassing. And it's all sooo erotic." He rubs his finger against my sex. I hear myself purr like a kitten. I swear that my husband is the sexiest man alive.

"Your sexual response is totally in my control. You are wet because of me and for me. You know I can make you orgasm just by putting you in this position. Shall we see?" He proceeds to demonstrate just that. At the same time, he tightens his arm around my waist. He slaps my bottom, not hard, just for the stimulation. And I can't stop it. I come as my whole body releases the tension that has been mounting. The intense sensation goes on and on after its peak, making me writhe beneath his tight hold.

When I'm finally spent, he strokes my back. "You see, Anastasia. That's what control is all about. That's the domination you are so afraid of. Did you like it?"

My torso and head are resting on the bed. His arm is still tightly wrapped around my waist, his large hand resting on my bare bottom. I'm sated, spent. Yes, I love this. I don't know why I can't admit it. Why do I fight it when it's so satisfying?

"Yes" I whisper. "You know I do."

He lifts me up and sits me on his lap, pulling my head to rest on his chest. "Are you ready to admit it? Because I can give you another demonstration. I can tie you to the bed. You love that too, being tied up. You love feeling powerless. It's time you gave up your resistance, Mrs. Grey. You are my wife. This is what you love, what you saw in me that those boys who were head over heals in love with you, didn't have. You knew they couldn't meet your needs, even when you didn't know what those needs were."

"Yes, I love your control. I don't know why I fight it. Sometimes I think it's just because I'm supposed to. It's naughty and not who I'm supposed to be."

"Baby, it's exactly who you're supposed to be. That's why the universe put us together, because this is what I'm supposed to be too. You used to think my horrible beginning in life, or Mrs. Robinson made me the way I am. But I was always meant to be a dominant. It's the way I'm made. It's why I sought out the training, the submissives, the life style. I just didn't know there was more. Remember "more'?

Oh, yes, I remember more. I didn't know exactly what more was then.

"Yes" I respond quietly. "This is 'more' isn't it?"

"This is exactly what it is, little one. We found it together." He kisses my forehead, my nose, and my chin.

"I always thought I loved you in spite of your dominant tendencies. Now you are convincing me that I love you because of them. It's a whole different way of looking at it."

"Yes it is, Anastasia. I think I've been trying to convince you of that since we first met." He looks at me lovingly, that softness in his eyes that I can never resist.

"I know. And I love you just the way you are, Christian. I can't quite admit that I'm not apprehensive but I think it's our fate. We vowed to meet each other's needs when we got married. I want to keep that vow. And I do want us to have a happy marriage."

Christian smiles his take no prisoners smile and hugs me tight. "You have made me very happy Mrs. Grey. I now have the best of my old world and my new one."

I love seeing Christian this happy. His unbridled elation makes my heart soar. When I think of the sad and lonely man I met and then see him in this moment, I know my decision is the right one.

"So, Anastasia, you will give a dinner party tonight and my family will love it and you will enjoy it. Are we clear about that?" He sounds adamant. "And Mrs. Jones will help you and I will help you. You know, this is all new to me too. I have to learn how to be an elegant host. And I'm taking a crash course in controlling myself. You may like the new Christian even better."

"I don't know how I can like you better" I croon and wrap my arms around his neck. "Ok, I can do this. I guess I'm giving a dinner party."

"That's my girl. And I don't want you to stress out about this." He pats my backside menacingly, then points to a corner of the bedroom.

"OK, I get the hint."

By 4 o'clock, I'm in a state of panic. Mrs. Jones is her usual, calm self, arranging flowers for the centerpiece of a beautifully set table. "When will the servers arrive?" I question. "They will be here at 5 for their instructions. Not to worry Mrs. Grey."

Christian emerges from his office and surveys the dining room. "Aren't we going to set up the bar?" he asks casually.

That's it. All I need is his criticism. "You set up the bar if you want one," I snap. "I'm managing the best I can and if you don't like it, you can do it." Out of the corner of my eye I see Mrs. Jones freeze.

Christian stops inside the doorway. His stance changes, taller, more rigid. I know this Christian alter ego. "May I see you in the other room, Mrs. Grey." Crap, not now. I have too much to think about. I don't have time to deal with Christian the irate. But I know better than to disobey. I follow him into the bedroom.

He closes the door. "Your stress is getting the better of you Anastasia. I don't like your attitude and I will not tolerate your being disrespectful. I was not being critical. And I would be happy to set up the bar if you like."

I stand in front of him, annoyed but fully aware that I have to look contrite.

"I want you to stand in the corner for 5 minutes and think about how disrespectfully you spoke to me. Go" He points to the corner.

I'm humiliated. I can't do this. Is this what he meant about other consequences? I'm not going to be treated like a child.

He calmly puts his hands on my waist and steers me into the corner. "I'll help you just this first time because I know it's new to you." He places me firmly in the corner. "Put your hands behind your back," he instructs as he helps me clasp my arms together. "Now I want you to think about how it sounds to others when you are so disrespectful to me. How do you think that makes me feel? Respect is the foundation of love. I think I have earned your respect. Don't you think so?"

God, he's making me feel terrible. I'm humbled by this childish punishment. I'm staring into a bare corner of the wall. I know he's standing close behind me to make sure I remain in the corner. He's trying to help me through this. He doesn't sound angry. He sounds loving and patient. This is a different kind of lecture, not the shouty ones I'm used to from him. And then it hits me. I can feel myself getting wet. My bottom clenches as the tightness grips my belly. This is hot. Damn, I don't want it to be. I really, really don't want Christian to find out. Why, I wonder for the umpteenth time, do his punishments turn me on?

Five minutes seems like 20 but finally he speaks again. "Anastasia, if you're sorry for being disrespectful, you can come out of the corner and apologize." His voice is soft, hopeful.

How can I resist. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that." I really am sorry. It was a bitchy way to respond and I don't want to turn into a bitchy wife.

"Do you mean it?" I remember him using that phrase before, most of the time in the Red Room of Pain.

"Yes. I mean it."

He pulls me into his arms, unsnaps my pants and puts his hand down inside my panties to feel between my thighs. I'm horrified because I know what he will find. "Just as I thought, Mrs. Grey. I won't make you admit it now, but some day….." His voice trails off. His grin is warm and loving. He takes me in his arms and kisses me deeply. "This is going to work very well Mrs. Grey. Maybe I finally have it right."

He pulls up my pants and zippers and snaps them. "Let's go finish the preparations and greet our guests."

Everything is ready as far as I know. I have changed into a blue dress that matches my eyes. Christian has insisted I sit down and have a glass of wine. I want to be like Grace when we arrive at her dinners. She's always dressed impeccably and is totally relaxed. The two servers have arrived and are getting instructions from Mr. Jones. They are young boys, probably my age, I think. They are in black and white uniforms, very sharp. They seem at ease, as though they've done this many times. We're having a four-course dinner with three different wines Christian has chosen. The table looks beautiful. Mrs. Jones is a wonder.

The door opens and Taylor announces Elliot and Kate. I'm so glad they arrived first. I hug them both and Kate looks at me in wonder. "My, so grown up, aren't we. Having a fancy dinner party. Are we the practice people?" We giggle. "Yes, you are, and you better be good guinea pigs."

Christian offers them drinks from the bar he has set up and we all sit on the couch to catch up. Soon Taylor opens the door again to admit Carrick and Grace and Mia. Hugs are exchanged all around. Grace looks at the elegantly laid table. "I have never seen this place so festive. Ana, you are a wonder."

"Oh, I had a lot of help," I say blushing. "This is my first dinner party. Christian said we should practice on family." We both laugh and Grace gives me her motherly smile.

"Shall we dine?" Christian calls everyone to the table. Christian is at the head_. _And I'm at his right. Carrick is at the other end with Grace and Mia on one side and Elliot and Kate on the other. The two young waiters are ready to refill our wine glasses and then serve shrimp cocktail.

"Ana, this is a wonderful surprise. Did you make the dinner?"

"With help from Mrs. Jones," I hurry to add.

"Anastasia is a wonderful cook. She makes superb meals for me when Mrs. Jones is off. I like to tell her she's not only decorative but useful." There is a collective gasp from Mia, Kate and Elliot.

"Good grief, bro. You are so romantic. I'll be sure to borrow that line."

"Not if you want to live," warns Kate. But she's laughing too.

"We're going to be doing more entertaining so I want to hire a chef and some other help for Anastasia. She can't do all that alone." He pauses. "Of course, if she would quit work, it might be possible."

I sigh. "You might as well know. This is an argument we have on a daily basis. Christian does not believe I should make myself useful and earn a living."

"Christian, I'm surprised by you." Grace scolds. "You were raised by a mother who works and is very fulfilled by a career."

"That's what I keep telling him. I love my job. It's what I've always wanted to do. And besides, I would rather pay my own way. I still have student loans to pay off." It's a mark of my growing comfort with being part of this loving family that I can be more myself, the person I really am.

But Christian is like a volcano ready to explode. He seems too angry to think of anything to say so I add quickly "OK, that's a touchy subject too. Shall we talk about something more pleasant?"

Elliot is always ready to smooth over any situation. "Well, I'd like to know what my little sister was doing with that bum I saw her get in the car with." Mia sticks her tongue out at Elliot but I can see Carrick and Grace's faces turn somber.

"What bum?" asks Christian, his mercurial mood changing to one of concern. "I'd like the details too." I have always wondered about Christian's protective instincts toward Mia. It appears Elliot has the same tendencies.

"He's a wonderful man. He just doesn't look all suave and sophisticated like you two look," says Mia resentfully. "Besides, it's none of your business."

"We're your big brothers. We make it our business." Christian is deadly serious.

"Dad, Mom, what were you thinking. I never asked for older brothers." That breaks the tension and everyone laughs as the servers bring our main course.

"I heard there was another kidnapping today," offers Kate. "We have investigative reporters all over this. Isn't it spooky?"

"Where did it occur?" asks Christian languidly, as if he has only a passing interest. He's turning the tables on Kate, interrogating her.

"The Chesterfield section, another wealthy neighborhood. You might know the girl. She's the daughter of Chase Conway. Carrick and Grace gasp together. "We know the family," says Carrick.

"So how is the new house coming alone?" Carrick is quick to change the subject. Christian and Elliot talk animatedly about the renovations and for the rest of the meal, everyone avoids any more touchy subjects.

By all the compliments, I can tell dinner was a big success. We enjoy an excellent cream puff and sorbet dessert and coffee and then everyone gets up to stretch and complain that they ate too much.

Carrick stops Christian. "Son, can I have a word with you in your office?"

"Sure Dad." I watch them cross the big room and notice that Grace is following them. A short discussion between Carrick and Grace ensues at the door to the office. Grace is obviously not welcomed in the conversation. She prevails and follows them in as Christian closes the door. Elliot wants to play rock band but Kate and I want some time alone.

"Come on Mia. You can set it up with me and practice. We won't wait long," he calls to us.

Kate and I relax with a glass of wine. How good it is to be alone with her, just like old times. "It sure is different now, isn't it buddy" she sighs.

"Men will do that to you. How are things with Elliot?"

"Generally, they're great. We're so in love. But we're fighting now, so I guess that's what lovers do. I used to think it was terrible that Christian made you cry. Now I understand why. My mom says its natural. That once you tie your futures together, you find out all the things you don't agree on."

"Tell me about it. By the way, thanks for telling Christian about another kidnapping. I'll be surprised if he doesn't lock me in the bedroom for the rest of my life. As it is, I can't go to the deli a block away without security."

"Oh, you know he would have found out by tomorrow anyway. So, Ana, I can't believe I'm asking your advice about a relationship, but how do you and Christian deal with your fights. I'm finding it really hard and Elliot is more stubborn than I thought. Behind that fun, happy exterior is a very opinionated man."

"Well, my mother says they're all like that. Christian and I are still finding ways to deal with our disagreements. I think it's an evolving process." Yeah, like making me stand in the corner. Kate would die if she knew Christian spanked me last night. Or would she? After she read the infamous email about BDSM I had to explain some of our unique beginning to her. Probably nothing would shock her now.

"Our rule is never to go to bed angry. If we have to stay up all night, we get it resolved and make love." That's the G rated version but it will have to do. "I'm wondering if the Grey brothers learned some of that from Carrick. We should ask Grace. She probably knows them better than anyone."

"Yes, great idea. Where did she disappear to?"

"She went in a secret meeting in Christian's office. My guess is it's about security since your news flash about the kidnapping."

"Let's go find out" Kate stands to make her assault.

"I'm not that brave Kate. You're on your own with that one. You might have noticed Christian has quite a temper."

"I know. I still worry about you sometimes. Elliot can be stubborn but he doesn't have Christian's temper."

Kate heads off to knock on the door of Christian's office. I don't want any part of this so I find Elliot and Mia in the game room.

We all end up talking turns playing rock band instruments and singing. Christian, of course can play anything but the musical Grey's are all adept at it. I have never played but find I have an affinity for the drums. By the end of the evening, I'm working up to 'moderate' and loving every minute.

Carrick calls a halt to the evening festivities. "Time to go everyone. Christian and Ana have been wonderful hosts but we don't want to wear out our welcome and never get invited back." There are hugs all around as the Greys prepare to leave and everyone exclaims that the dinner was perfect. I feel relieved and pretty darn proud of myself.

After everyone is gone, Christian pulls me into his arms and gives me a deep kiss. "You're a wonderful hostess Mrs. Grey. I was proud of you."

"Thank you Mr. Grey, and back at you."

"Let's go to bed. I have been lusting after you all evening."

As we put on our pajamas and brush our teeth, we seem like an old married couple, so comfortable with each other in all the little things. I'm thrilled with the success of the evening and happy that Christian is proud of me.

"Mrs. Grey, I did not know that you had such drumming skills."

"Mr. Grey, I did not know that either."

"Well, don't even think about running off and joining a rock band." His lips twitch as he tries to look stern.

"Mr. Grey, that's just what I was intending to do."

We slip into bed and face each other. "So what was the little tete a tete in your office all about?"

"Nothing, Dad just wanted to talk."

"Oh, no Christian. One of the new rules is that we have to respect each other. Equals share with each other. You're not going to keep me in the dark anymore."

"Anastasia, if you want to talk about respect, then I should tell you your nasty comment about paying off your student loans was far from respectful. You knew that would be embarrassing to me. Your punishment will be that your student loans will disappear tomorrow."

"That's not fair, Christian. You know I want to do it myself. It was my education." How dare he.

"Then you shouldn't have flaunted it in front of my parents. It sounded like I refused to pay off your loans. Ana, it's only money. Case closed."

I will argue that issue tomorrow. He's too stubborn about it tonight.

"You are just trying to divert me. Answer my questions."

"Bossy little thing, aren't you. I'd be careful if I were you. I have control of the relationship back."

"Christian, you never really lost it. What did Carrick want to talk about?"

"Ok. Mia is in a bad relationship. The guy she thinks she's in love with is, at the very least, a suspicious character. Dad wanted to know if I could do some investigation. He hasn't liked many of the guys Mia has dated but he's never interfered. He has a bed feeling about this one."

"What's does he think is wrong with him?"

"It's just a feeling, some suspicious behavior. I'll check it out and then we'll know more. Mia is just so headstrong. I told Mom and Dad they were too lenient with her. But they know it. She just had Dad wrapped around her little finger from the day they brought her home. And she's so fun and mischievous that it's hard to get mad at her. Frankly I'd like to give her a good spanking and tell her to stop dating rejects."

Oh, just as I suspected all along. Mia is the subject of Christian's scrutiny and, often, disapproval. "But you never scold her or even try to stop her crazy stunts."

"I do sometimes. You just haven't been around when I did. But I admit I fell under the Mia spell the same time my parents did. I guess we are all to blame. Elliot's been the only one who isn't totally conned by her. Speaking of Elliot, he seems to be succeeding in taming Kate a bit. Do you know what's going on?"

"Not really. Kate says they're fighting more and Elliot is very stubborn. But they are totally in love with each other."

"Speaking of best friends, you are my best friend. Want to roll in the hay with your loving husband."

"That sound mighty fine, husband."

When I get home from work the next evening, Mrs. Jones greets me warmly. "Would you like some wine or some tea Mrs. Grey?" She's busy making dinner. "No thanks" I say. "Is Christian home?"

"Yes, he's in his office with Taylor and Mr. Carrick Grey." Hum. I wonder what's going on. Do I dare barge in? If it's about Mia, I want to know. I'm part of the family now. We're equals. Christian said so. The past week has been delightful. There's a pattern to our lives that feels, well, normal. Christian has been more relaxed, less mercurial. Oh, his emotions can still change on a dime but they're not as extreme as they used to be. I have a better understanding of his need for control. He's a Dom by nature but he no longer wants to hurt, just to love …and of course, to have control. Even more startling is that I have a different view of my needs.

I straighten my back, take a deep breath and open the door. Christian is sitting at his desk, leaning forward, and listening to someone on speaker phone. It sounds like Welch. Carrick and Taylor are sitting on the other side of the desk, their chairs up to the overhang that makes Christian's desk a table for conferences. Both are leaning forward.

Christian looks up and sees me. "Just a minute, Welch. What is it Anastasia?" His face is impassive and I can't tell if he's angry or not.

"I came to find out what's going on. Is it about Mia?"

"Yes, but it doesn't concern you." I ignore his rude response and walk to the desk.

"Hi Carrick, hi Taylor." Christian sits back in his chair, watching me intently. I take advantage of his position and slip onto his lap.

"Mr. Grey?" the disembodied voice of Welch comes over the speaker.

"Hold a minute" Christian snaps into the phone "Anastasia, you don't belong here. Please go find something to do."

"I have nothing better to do than to help my family."

"You're not helping. You're are interrupting."

"Well if Mia is in any danger, you know that Taylor and I are the only ones in this room who know how to use a gun. So Taylor, you should stay too." I can't help it, I feel cheeky, especially after Christian's rude dismissal of me.

Carrick can't help himself. He bursts out laughing. Taylor's mouth twitches but his military training wins out. He doesn't laugh but his eyes twinkle. Christian just stares at me, appalled.

"Mrs. Grey, you are out of line." He has recovered his equilibrium and he's angry. He lifts me off his lap and steers me to the door. "Go. Now." He swats my bottom, projecting me through the door and slams it behind me. How humiliating. I thought we were equals. I know he won't do too much to me in front of Carrick. Well, at least I hope not. He just swatted my bottom in front of him. Well, this is my chance to make a point. He may be in charge, or whatever, but that doesn't mean he can be rude.

I head for the kitchen to find Mrs. Jones. "Mrs. Jones, do we have a tray? I want to take a carafe of wine and some glasses to the little meeting in Christian's office." I try to sound nonchalant. Mrs. Jones looks wary but she goes about collecting the tray and wine. "Of course, Mrs. Grey. Will this do?"

My subconscious is shouting at me _Are you crazy. Christian is already worried about Mia. He's going to kill you. Or worse. _

I arrange four glasses and the carafe of wine on the beautiful silver tray. It occurs to me that I don't even know what I own. I've never seen the silver tray or the cut glass carafe before. It looks really expensive. I must be finally succumbing to the idea that all these things are mine too. I take a deep breath and open the door, putting on my biggest smile.

"Refreshment," I announce cheerfully. I move some papers on Christian's desk, set the tray down, and begin pouring wine in each of the glasses. All three men stare at me. Carrick looks amused. Taylor looks uneasy. Christian looks like he could strangle me.

"You know son. Ana may be able to help. Mia thinks a lot of her. Maybe Ana could talk some sense into her."

"Anastasia doesn't seem to have any sense to spare." He gets up from his chair and takes my arm. "May I have word with you Mrs. Grey." It is not a request. He escorts me out of the room and into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Fuming grey eyes bore into me.

"I thought we were equals. I'm part of this family, aren't I? If Mia is in trouble, I want to help her. I did save her life, you know." Christian rubs his hands through his hair. Uh Oh, both hands. That's not a good sign. "And besides, you were supposed to be controlling your temper."

Christian stops and stares at me impassively. "You are correct, Anastasia. I forgot myself." He takes a deep breath and a slight, crooked smiles flashes across his face. "Didn't I tell you not to bother us the first time you came in the office?" His whole demeanor has changed. His voice is soft and patient. "You have disobeyed me Anastasia. You interrupted our meeting not once but twice. We were having an important discussion. Since you were unable to listen to me, I want you to stay in the bedroom until my meeting is finished and think about how disrespectful that was and how you should listen to your husband. Now get on the bed and stay there until I return." He points to the bed.

Geez, he's playing his new part well. I'm not sure I like this. Maybe shouty Christian is better. At least I'm used to that one. I hesitate, staring at him. "If you don't get on the bed immediately, I will put you across my knee and spank you. And then you will be put on the bed to think about your behavior."

Reluctantly, I cross the room and sit on the bed. "Stay!" he orders and leaves the room.

I'm stunned. How did my plan go so wrong? I thought I could make a point about being involved in family issues and I end up being punished in my room. I lay down on the bed, feeling embarrassed. Do I have to do this? It's such a child's punishment. Should I just stay here and do what he told me or should I leave and make a statement? Not with Carrick here. Now I'm not quite sure what Christian would do in front of Carrick.

I lay down on the bed trying to assimilate this state of affairs. If I just lay here, I feel punished. It's not a good feeling. And yet I know my body is aroused. That warm surge of excitement runs through my lower body. Why, oh why, I ask myself for the hundredth time, does this turn me on? I want to reject the thought and the feeling. I have to do something besides sit here and feel punished. I have been meaning to call Ray and my mom. This is a perfect time.

Ray is back to his old self. "How's married life, Annie?"

"It's great Dad. But men sure are a different species. Are they all as stubborn as Christian?" Ray laughs. "Ah Annie, I always thought it was women who were so complicated. And you are the most stubborn person I know. Christian knows he has his hands full."

"Dad! Did he really say that?"

"Your husband and I had a lot of time to talk when you were unconscious in the hospital. He loves you, no doubt about that. But you are quite a challenge. He's not sure what to do with you sometimes."

"Well I'm not sure what to do with him sometimes either." How dare he discuss our marriage with my Dad? Change the subject Ana. "Anyway, we want to take you and Mr. Rodriguez to Aspen to fish. When would be a good time for you to get away for a few days?"

"That sounds great. I'll check with Jose and get back to you with some dates."

We spend a few more minutes talking about sports and my work. Ray is not a great conversationalist. "It's good to talk to you Dad. Take care."

"I love you Annie." "Love you too Dad."

The call to my mom will be harder. She can always tell exactly how I feel, like she's reaching through the phone and reading my mind. "Hi mom" I sound cheerful.

"Ana, how are you. I haven't heard from you all week. How is everything?"

"Fine mom. I had another book cleared for publication. I think it has real potential."

"That's great Ana but you sound a little sad. What's wrong?"

"Nothing really. It's just hard to know at work whether my decisions have real merit or they are just approving them because my husband owns the company. I guess I'll only know when the book hits the market."

Carla sighs. "That must make things more difficult. Ana, I don't have any frame of reference for that problem. But you have to trust Christian. He knows what he's doing and he has a lot of faith in you. He told me you are a real star at the company."

He said that? Well, in truth, he does tell me that too. But I think he's about as biased as he could possibly be. "I know, he tells me that too. And I'm sure he checks up on me. He knows everything that's happening at all his businesses."

"Ana, Bob is really pushing to return to Arizona. I don't know how I feel about that. I have come to love Savannah. Men are so complicated."

"Isn't that the truth. Sometimes I think Christian is from another planet. I've always wanted to read, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Maybe I better get on that."

We talk about a few other mundane topics and then hang up, with the ever present promise that we would visit soon.

This isn't turning out to be such a bad idea, spending some time alone catching up. Next I'll see if Kate is busy. I dial her number and she answers on the second ring. "Ana, you stranger. What's up?"

"I was just missing you Kate. How's Elliot? Any progress on understanding him?"

"We're fine. I learn a little bit every day. He's not as complicated as Christian, or as controlling. I'm glad for that. But it's hard to get him to open up and talk. His idea of a conversation is about the Rangers or food.

"I was just talking to my mom about men. I think I'm going to read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Maybe that will shed some light on the opposite sex."

"Not a bad idea. Let me know if it helps and maybe I'll read it too. By the way. Elliot's been busy on your house. I saw it yesterday. Wow. It's going to be beautiful."

"I think so too. Kate, do you know what's going on with Mia? Christian is holed up in his office with Carrick and Taylor talking about it but he won't tell me."

"All I know is that Elliot is really worried. I know he has spoken to Carrick and Christian about it. He's pretty mad at Mia. Apparently the guy is a real scumbag."

"Do you know what's wrong with him?

"Not really. Elliot says he has a record, spent some time in prison and hangs out with a bad crowd. Elliot wants to lock Mia in her room until she comes to her senses."

"It sounds dangerous. Poor Mia. I don't think she rebelled much during her teen years. It sounds like she's trying to make up for it."

"Can we have dinner and some drinks tomorrow? It's Friday."

"Sure, you want to take our Martian men or just have girl talk?"

"Let's do girl talk. And let's invite Mia. I'll call her. Maybe we can do something to help her through this mess."

"Great idea. Call me when you get off work and we'll decide on a place. See ya."

"By Kate. See you tomorrow."

I call Mia. "Hey Mia. What's up?" I try to sound normal, cheerful.

"Ana, it's good to hear from you. "

"Kate and I are going to have a girl's night out tomorrow. Want to join us? No men, just girl talk."

"That sounds great Ana. We haven't had time alone since Aspen. Christian is so overprotective. I guess we'll have to take the goon squad."

"Yeah, I've tried to get out on my own several times. Christian was beside himself. I'm not facing that again." I laugh. "And Mia, don't use the goon squad term in front of Christian. It makes him livid" I warn.

"I know," says Mia ruefully. "He told me in no uncertain terms."

Christian walks into the room just then. "Who's on the phone?" he asks sternly. I mouth 'Mia.' "Well, hang u." He sounds even sterner. I better do as he says before Mia hears more than she should. "OK Mia, can you meet at my office at 5:30? We'll decide where to go from there. ….Good…..OK. See you then."

"Exactly what is it you don't understand about a bedroom punishment?" His eyes are flashing with anger but is voice is soft.

"I don't know. What exactly am I missing?"

"You were supposed to be thinking about how you didn't listen to me and then disobeyed me by interrupting our meeting again."

"I thought about that. But it only took a few minutes. So I made some calls."

Christian looks surprised. The faintest sign of amusement crosses his face and then he recovers. "We will discuss the proper way to spend your time when you are confined to the bedroom after our guests leave." He pauses to make sure this announcement sinks in. "For now, apparently Dad thinks you may be able to help with Mia, so you are invited, and I stress the word invited, to the meeting. Come."

Well, this is a new state of affairs. I may have won this round after all. And I have learned that Christian still bows to his father's wishes, I muse. Surely he didn't want to invite me into the conversation. Christian still obeying his father. That's a news flash.

Christian pauses at the door and pulls me to him. "Are you sorry you didn't listen to me, that you disobeyed me?" he asks calmly.

"Yes, I guess so. Mostly I'm sorry that you were so rude to me." My subconscious is screaming at me _are you crazy? Show some humility._

"Well, at least you're honest." He leans down and kisses my forehead. "Apparently my father thought you had a good idea. He wants to talk to you about trying to deal with Mia. We don't have a lot of options."

We walk into Christian's office and Carrick and Taylor stand. Carrick pulls up a chair and invites me to join the conversation.

"Thank you for your offer to help, Ana." Carrick starts. "We don't have a lot of options here. I can't lock Mia in her room until she grows up. And she's too old to be spanked." I can't look at Christian but I blush in embarrassment. Carrick's eyes widen and I know he knows. Damn, did Christian tell him or is he just figuring it out? I'm very sure Taylor knows. We live in a damned goldfish bowl.

"So we thought maybe you could talk to her, tell her what the risks are."

"I'd be happy to Carrick. I was just talking to Kate. We decided to take Mia out for dinner and drinks tomorrow night. Just us girls. I called Mia and she's up for it. Maybe between Kate and me we can get through to her."

"Thank you Ana. You saved Mia once. I hate to put this responsibility on you."

"Carrick, I'm family. I love Mia too, you know. But I need to know what the risks are. What's this guy like anyway?"

Christian nods at Taylor who doesn't act like he's totally happy with this new twist of events, but he hands me a file full of papers. The guy in question is Daren Carousa. He's 35 and has a long record. Robbery at gunpoint, drugs arrest. Sent to prison twice but got short sentences. Gad, this is crazy. What is Mia thinking?

"Ok, I'll do my best."

Christian looks decidedly unhappy. I can tell this was not his favorite option but he's bowing to his father's wishes. "Let's go have dinner," he says abruptly. "Dad, will you join us?"

"No thank you, son. Your mom is expecting me for dinner. Call me and let me know the details of the plan. Taylor, I assume you will be watching the girls?"

"Yes, sir. Sawyer and I will both be on detail."

We walk Carrick to the door. He hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. "You are a special person, Ana." He leans close and whispers "You certainly give Christian a run for his money. I think it's been good for him."

"Sometimes it's not so good for me," I grin up at him.

After Carrick leaves, Christian turns toward the kitchen, calling to Mrs. Jones. "When will dinner be ready, Gail?" His tone is sharp and I can tell he's not happy with the outcome of our meeting.

"Mr. Grey, I can have it ready in 15 minutes."

"Good" he says flatly then turns to me. "In the bedroom. Now."

Christian closes the door and turns to me. "I have some issues, Mrs. Grey. Let me give you the list. You interrupted a meeting in my office. You repeated that transgression even after I made it clear that you were not to disturb us. And you violated the rules of your punishment by spending the time on the phone instead of thinking about why you were being confined to the bedroom. Do you have anything to say for yourself before I rectify the situation?"

How to respond? Geez, I don't want another spanking. Several possibilities come to mind. I could be humble and apologize. I could defend myself. No, honesty. We promised each other.

"I think you're angry because you had to bow to your father's wishes" I say quietly.

Christian stops, immobilized. He walks over to the bed and sits down, reflecting on my words. "That may be partially true." Wow, that's a huge step for Mr. in-control.

"But what I want to discuss is your behavior. Obviously the time spent in your bedroom was not effective. We will remedy that. The purpose of that punishment is so you will think about your behavior and why you displeased me. In the future, you will do nothing except think when you are confined to your room. Is that clear?"

He's not fooling around with this. My best response is one that will not end in another punishment. "Yes, Sir." I try to sound humble.

"Come here." It's an order. Reluctantly I walk over to stand by him. "I want you bent over the bed." His voice is low, sensual. He puts his hands around my waste and bends me over the bed. "Stay there. Don't move."

I can hear him leave the room and I wonder where he's going. I feel ridiculous laying across the bed. Is he getting the crop? How mad is he? I can't tell anymore. His new demeanor makes it more difficult to know what he's going to do.

I hear the door open and he comes over to the bed. "You still need to think about your disobedience. Perhaps this will help remind you." He puts his hands on my waist and lifts me higher on the bed, so my feet no longer touch the floor. He pulls up my skirt and pulls my panties down to my knees. Oh, no. He's going to spank me in this position.

"I'm not going to spank you, Anastasia." How does he always know what I'm thinking? "I'm going to give you something to help you think about your behavior." He's doing something behind me. I can hear him uncap something but I can't see anything even when I try to raise up. "Stay" he orders. "Don't move."

Finally he begins to stroke my bare bottom, slowly, softly. "Anastasia, I'm going to put a butt plug in you, here." He gently pushes it against my bottom hole. I clench my bottom in response. "Don't do that. It will only hurt worse." His voice is soothing, soft. I'm not sure what to do.

He pushes again, further this time. I groan. "Hold still and relax," he says flatly. "This will hurt for just a second" he says and he pushes it all the way in me with his thumb. There is an instant of pain as the wider part of the object stretches me more than I thought possible. Almost instantly, the pain subsides as the object is completely inserted. "I want you to feel this and remember that you're supposed to think about your transgressions when you're in bedroom time. Let's go eat." With that startling announcement, he lifts me off the bed. He pulls up my panties and straightens my skirt.

"Feel full?" he asks.

"Yes, are you going to leave this in me?"

"Yes, I am. Until you learn your lesson."

He takes my hand and pulls me toward him, hugging me tightly and I can feel his erection. I'm hot and so is he. How is this a turn on?

"We're ready to eat, Gail," he announces cheerfully as he guides me to a stool at the breakfast bar. I sit gingerly and Christian smiles slyly at my effort to get comfortable. The plug has a wide circle on the outside so sitting just pushes the damned object deeper into me. "So, Mrs. Grey, how was work?" I guess I have to play this game too.

"Wonderful, Mr. Grey. The book I championed was approved for printing. I was wondering if you had anything to do with that." I still don't trust that I'm proving myself or if Christian is pulling strings.

"I knew nothing about it," he says defensively. "But I hear you're doing a spectacular job. I'm proud of you. You aren't eating. Pick up your fork."

We make light conversation during dinner as I shift on the stool, trying to become acclimated to the strange feeling in my bottom. Nothing relieves the pressure and my fidgeting just makes it worse. My need is growing by the minute, killing my appetite for food and enhancing my appetite for sex. Christian watches me, amusement written all over him. He's loving this, damn him.

"Eat your dinner if you want any relief" he whispers to me. I pick up my fork and start the slow process of cleaning my plate. I have a much smaller portion than Christian. My talk with Mrs. Jones has made a big difference. I explained about Christian's obsession with the clean plate club and asked her to give me much smaller portions.

Finally I finish and Christian takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom. "Turn around" he orders. I turn and he unzips my skirt, guiding it down. "Step." I step out of it. "Turn." I turn toward him and look up. His eyes are sensual, possessive. He unbuttons my blouse and takes it off. "Turn." I turn again and he unhooks my bra, taking that off too. He hooks is hands under my panties and sensually lowers them. "Step" he orders and I step out of them.

I'm completely naked. Christian steers me back to the bed and bends me over it. Lifting me by the waste, he raises me higher again so my feet don't touch the floor. Just knowing I'm hanging without the security of my feet touching the floor is unsettling. He caresses my cheeks. Then he enters me, quickly, completely, and I gasp. It's a different experience, more acute, more….well, filling. I contract all my lower muscles and feel the wave of ecstasy overwhelm me and then Christian gives in to his release.

He leans up and I start to raise up too. "Stay" he commands. Slowly he removes the butt plug. How embarrassing. He lifts me up, laying me softly on my back. He climbs in beside me. "Are you properly contrite now?" He's grinning and I know this little exercise wasn't punishment at all.

"Oh yes, that was really….severe." I smile up at him.

"So, what are you going to do to bring Mia to her senses?"

"I have no idea," I admit. "I'll have to make it up as I go."

Kate calls me Friday afternoon. "What's the plan Ana?" she asks.

"Mia is meeting me here at 5:30 and we decided to go to Chesterfields. Do you want to meet us there around six?"

"Sounds great. See you there. By the way Ana, do you have a plan?" I know she's talking about the Mia confrontation.

"No, I have no idea. You're the reporter. I figured you could get her to open up."

"Great. Well, at least I hope we can get her to think about the risk she's taking."

"See you soon."

Mia arrives on time and alone. How come she doesn't have to have security? "I'll just get my purse and jacket," I tell her. "Come on, Mia, a real girls night out without our complicated men. Kate and I are so looking forward to it. For us, it'll be like old times. It's great that there are three of us now."

Mia smiles. She's a little more subdued that she normally is. Taylor and Sawyer are waiting by the SUV, Sawyer is driving. "Chesterfields please Sawyer."

"Yes ma'am." Apparently he has cleared all this with Christian and has been told I can go wherever I want.

We have just found a quiet booth in the back of the restaurant when Kate arrives. "Hey, you two. Isn't this great. How did we all manage to get free on the same night?"

"Well, that's a lot easier for you two than it is for me. Marriage makes things like this much harder. Let that be a warning to you both. Although I think you have already committed Kate," I add ruefully.

Mia smiles at our banter. "It's just harder for you, Ana, because you married Mr. Control Freak." She laughs.

"I took him off your hands. Don't I get some points for that?"

"This is true. And to think, I never thanked you. Christian has been so busy keeping up with you that he hasn't had time to interfere in my life, well, until now."

"Let's get some wine before we get too involved in our man trials." Kate motions the waiter and we order a bottle of wine. "Would you like menus?" asks the waiter. "Please bring them but we won't be ready to order for awhile." Kate is always so in command, but I'm catching up with her. Christian is a good role model.

The wine comes and we all take a drink and sigh. "Mia, I know what's going on with you. Christian has been really worried. I hope you don't hold that against me. As you know, Christian is not to be contained."

"No, I'm very well aware of Christian's protective instincts. Also his stubbornness and his temper. Remember I lived with him for, what 16 years. But you handle him so well, Ana. I'm in awe. No one has ever been able to do that."

"Maybe it seems that way, when we're in public. But he's still quite a challenge in private" I admit. I think about the bedroom punishment and the butt plug. No, Christian still handles me better than I handle him.

"So, what's going on Mia? Elliot is worried too but I don't know much about Daren. What's the attraction?"

Mia looks sad and stares at her wine for a minute. "Daren is the most sensual, sexy guy I've ever met. He has a wild side. I'll admit that. But my life has been so planned for me, so proper. Mom and Dad kept all of us on a tight rein. We were expected to do well in school, excel at a musical instrument, learn a foreign language and proper manners. Daren comes from a different world. He's freedom. He does what he wants, goes where he wants. He's had experiences I could never imagine."

"Like prison" I inject.

Mia scowls. "If Christian told you that, he made it up. He exaggerates every possible risk." Actually I can't disagree with her there, the exaggeration that is.

"Mia, I agree with you about the exaggeration. But I saw the papers. Daren was in prison twice, once on a drug charge and once for armed robbery." I try to say this as soft as possible to ease the harshness of my words.

"Elliot told me the same thing" chimes in Kate. "What do you want to happen with the two of you?" Kate is in her element asking probing questions.

"I don't know. We haven't talked about anything except the here and now. I just want to be with him. It's a thrill. I want to live my own life, not my family's. I don't have to be just what they want me to be." She's almost pouting now. "I'm tired of arguing with my mom and dad, with Elliot and Christian, and now with you two. I thought you would be my friends."

"Mia, we are your friends. We're worried about you. Daren could be dangerous." There, I've said it.

"You wouldn't feel that way if you met him. You should meet him. That's more than my big brothers have done. I'm going to call him and ask him to come here." Before we can stop her, she picks up her phone and pushes a speed dial number. "Hi Daren," she croons. "I'm at Chesterfields with my two sisters-in law." She nods at Kate shrugs, and mouths 'well, almost.' We thought you should join us, you know, get to know the better part of our family. ….no, they have heard all the objections from my brothers…I know…I just thought if they met you, they could help…..yes?...oh good….we'll see you soon." She hangs up and says triumphantly "Now you can make up your own minds."

Kate looks at me quizzically; her unspoken question is obviously what do we do now? I peek outside the booth. Taylor and Sawyer are sitting at a table by the door. No way are they going to let this happen. "Mia, you know the goon squad, as you call them, are sitting by the door. My guess is that they have seen his picture. I don't want a scene."

"Well that will be their problem. Daren is just going to join us for a drink. Maybe you should tell them that Ana." I'm not sure that is a good idea. It just gives them time to call Christian for orders. "I think you better Ana," Kate weighs in. "If you don't, they may tackle him at the door." She has a point.

I walk over to the table where Taylor and Sawyer continuously scan the room. I sit down in the empty chair. Both of them look at me quizzically. "Uh, I thought you should know. Mia just called Daren and invited him to join us here." Taylor cocks an eye disapprovingly. "Mrs. Grey, that is not a good idea."

"Ya think?" I roll my eyes. I can't help myself. "I couldn't stop her. But I think you should let him join us. We need to prove to her that he's a scoundrel."

"I will let Mr. Grey know but he may direct a different course of action."

"Well, call him. I can speak to him if he has objections." Taylor presses a button on his phone. "Mr. Grey. Mrs. Grey has just informed me that Miss Mia has invited the boyfriend to join them. …Yes, Sir. …We agree. …Mrs. Grey asked to speak to you." He hands the phone to me. Christian doesn't miss a beat. "You are not meeting with that jerk," he storms. I hold the phone out and smile at Taylor and Sawyer. "I mean it Anastasia. I won't have you girls put in that situation. "

"Christian, calm down. You asked me to try to help Mia. We 're making progress. I want him to admit he's been in prison. Mia has to see who he really is. She's embracing the wild side but has no idea of the risks." I pause to let this sink in.

"Let me speak to Taylor," he snaps. I hand the phone back. "Yes, Sir?... I understand. .. we won't let that happen…yes Sir. I'll keep you informed. He hangs up. "Mr. Grey is not entirely comfortable with your plan ma'am but he's going to let …um…the boyfriend, join you. We will move to a closer table and we will be watching every move he makes."

"Ok, I nod."

I return to the table. "We have permission from on high" I state ruefully. "Christian has given his divine blessing."

"I don't know how you stand it" Kate sympathizes. "I'm glad Elliot is more pliable, more even tempered."

"Don't let him fool you" Mia pipes up. "Christian and Elliot are cut from the same cloth and raised by the same father. My dad is the most stubborn man on the planet. I think he gave them lessons in ultimate control."

This is news. I still want to understand how Christian got the way he is. I thought most of his peculiarities evolved from his horrible first years and the influence of Mrs. Robinson. Apparently Carrick had just as much influence. I want to know more but Kate beats me too it, apparently intrigued with Mia's information about Elliot. "Mia, what are you saying. Give over. I'm trying to understand Elliot and it's not easy."

"It all looks equal on the surface. Mom has a brilliant career and is so self-possessed that outsiders don't realize that dad is the one in control at home. He's the ultimate head of household, as they say." Whoa. That's news. Mild mannered Carrick. Mia is wound up now. "Mom doesn't seem to mind at all. She does her own thing but when dad lays down the law, mom always defers to him."

Kate is looking at me, as amazed as I am. "You would never think that" she says with awe. "Grace always seems so …competent."

"Oh, she is. I think it's just something they agreed on, probably before we were all adopted. They are totally in love, inseparable. Anyway, I think Christian and Elliot both aspire to the kind of relationship mom and dad have. It always seemed so perfect."

Yes, I can see why Christian would feel that way. I remember his talking about his 'perfect family.'

We are all silent for a few minutes, sipping our wine, each thinking our own thoughts. "This looks like a nice booth. How lucky can a man get, sitting with three beautiful girls." Daren slides in the booth next to Mia.

He's handsome, in a ….what? ….forbidden kind of way. He has long, black hair that hangs to his chin, and dark eyes that look almost black in the dim light of the restaurant. He reminds me of Johnny Depp in some of his weirder movies. He wears jeans and a black leather jacket. But he looks different in them than Christian does, more sinister. He has a loop earing in one ear and a chair around his neck. He leans over and kisses Mia. "Hello, you gorgeous babe."

Mia makes introductions all around. "I thought if my sisters-in-law could meet you, they could influence the men of my family that we are good together. " Mia starts.

"What do you care, Mia? I don't care what they think. You're of age. It's our life, our time. Forget about them." Kate and I stare at him in disbelief. Is this the way he is? We have to show Mia what he really is. Obviously Kate has the same idea.

"Daren, are you suggesting that Mia give up her family for you." Kate is trying to sound her most professional but her disapproval is apparent.

"Yes, all Mia and I need is each other. If they don't like it, fuck 'em."

"You don't mean that, do you Daren?" Mia is looking depressed.

"Of course I do Mia. The world is what we want it to be. Just you and I."

"Do you want Mia to follow you anywhere, Daren, even if you end up back in jail?" Kate is getting angry and it shows in her voice.

"Hey, what is this, an inquisition? Mia, is this some kind of trick?"

"Do you deny that you have been in prison?" Kate presses the issue.

"No, I don't deny it. What does that have to do with Mia and me? It was a long time ago." Mia is staring at Daren as if she doesn't know who he is.

"Come on, Mia. We don't need to put up with this." He takes her arm and pulls her out of the booth, leading them to the door. Just as they reach the door, out of the corner of my eye, I see Taylor and Sawyer stand and follow them. Kate and I scramble after them. As if they practiced it a hundred times, Sawyer steps forward and separates Mia from a startled Daren. At the same time, Taylor steers Darren out the door. Sawyer blocks Mia's attempt to follow them. The three of us stand in front of the brick wall that is Sawyer. "We will wait here until the coast is clear," he states emphatically. "Please return to your table Mrs. Grey, Miss Kavanagh, Miss Grey."

Tears are streaming down Mia's face as I lead her back to the table. I slide in next to her and put my arm around her. "I'm so sorry Mia." I don't know what else to say.

Mia can't even talk. Kate pours more wine in our glasses and motions for the waiter to bring the tab. Kate and I sip the last of our wine while Mia sits in a stupor. "Mia, it will get better, I promise." Kate sounds just like she always did when she was comforting me through some trial or other. Mia just nods. I grab the bill when the waiter lays it on the table. "Christian always complains that I don't spend his money. Let me make him happy." I grin at Kate.

Sawyer comes to our table. "Ladies, your carriage awaits." He tries to sound light. When we get to the car, only Taylor is there waiting with the back door open. I wonder what happened to Daren. We all slide in. "Why let our girls' night out go to waste. Let's go somewhere and drink," Kate says.

"Great idea. Mia?" Kate puts her hand on Mia's knee. Mia nods.

"Taylor, please take us to the Zoo bar."

"Ma'am, Mr. Grey specified that we take you home."

"We'll get there eventually, just not right away. The zoo bar please."

"Yes ma'am."

We arrive at the zoo bar and Sawyer follows us in while Taylor parks. No sooner have we walked through the door than my phone rings. Of course, Taylor has notified Christian that I'm AWOL again.

"Hello Christian. And how are you tonight."

'You know exactly how I am, mad. I told Taylor to take you girls home. Why must you always countermand my orders?" I step away from girls, motioning them to get a table.

"Christian, Mia has had quite a shock. I don't want her to go home and be alone. We have to see her this through. We made a lot of progress. Daren admitted he's been in prison. Mia is grieving. Don't you trust me? Because if you don't, you shouldn't have asked me to do this."

There is silence on the other end. "Ok, have a drink. But then you come home. Why don't you bring Kate and Mia with you? You can have the rest of your girl talk in the big bedroom. I'll sleep in the spare room. Baby, I would feel better if your were home safe." What a sweet way to ask me to come home. "That's a great idea, honey. We'll be home shortly."

We finish our drink but Mia is quiet, somber. "Christian suggested we all go to Escala and continue our girls night. He even offered our bedroom. What do you say? I haven't had a pajama party in a long time. And Kate and I haven't been able to stay up all night talking since I ran off and got married."

"Great idea, Ana. I'm in. Mia?"

"Yeah, me too. I'd rather be with my sisters than go home to face my parents."

We have three more drinks, countermanding Christian's orders once again, I muse. We are all slightly drunk by the time we fall into the car, giggling. Sawyer is driving so Taylor accompanies us to the elevator. He stands in uneasy silence as we weave into each other, still giggling. When he opens the door, Christian is waiting for us. "You're drunk," he announces, amazed. "Come with me," he orders. "I doubt you could make it up the stairs. He herds us all into our bedroom. "Have you eaten?"

"No" I look embarrassed. He frowns, "I'll bring something. You need to eat."

I dig in my drawers and hand out nightgowns and pajamas. "Take your pick," I announce. Kate looks at the silk and satin nightwear. "I remember when you used to wear tank tops and sweats to bed, Ana. My, you have changed," she says as she rummages through the pile of nightwear to pick something she likes. She hands some pink silk pajamas to Mia. "Here, these look like you, Mia."

I close the door and we all shed our work clothes, get comfortable and pile on the bed. "Men," says Kate. Ana and I want to know more about our men. You have all their secrets. Spill the beans, Mia. We all giggle. "How about some wine?" I ask. "Christian has a fine wine cellar. But it's not in the cellar." Somehow I find this funny and start giggling again. "I'll get it. "

I go to the wine closet and choose the first two bottles I find. Christian stops me as I turn. He smoothly relieves me of the two bottles I hold. "Would you mind if I choose the wine Mrs. Grey? You have a $350.00 bottle and a $700.00 bottle there and I hate to see it wasted on three drunk girls who doubtless will not appreciate its bouquet." He's smiling down on me.

"Of course, Mr. Grey. Just give us any old cheap stuff." I return his smile.

"I've sent Taylor for food, pizza and subs. I'm not sure what appeals to drunk girls."

I giggle. "Oh, will I ever get used to your wonderful giggle, Mrs. Grey. How is Mia? Has she given up on her hoodlum boyfriend or am I still going to have to take her across my knee?"

"Christian, spankings are not the answer to every problem" I chide.

"Only to the problems related to my wife and my little sister," he counters.

"Mia is better. She saw the light, she's going through the embarrassed stage now but we have her laughing. She's going to be fine. What happened to Daren?"

"Taylor took care of him."

"Is he still alive?"

"Ana, of course he's still alive. But he knows that if he ever contacts or comes near Mia again, his days may be numbered."

He rubs his nose in my hair and lightly pats my back. "You are amazing Ana. How can I ever thank you enough for taking care of Mia. What can I do to show you how much I…we, mom and dad too, appreciate it. I called them and they're very relieved."

"I think I'll take a 'Get out of punishment' card" I challenge him. '

"Even slightly drunk, you are a good negotiator. OK, I'll probably regret it but you will have a pass the next time you get in trouble. Come, you three need water."

Christian arrives with a tray of water glasses and hands us each one. "Drink" he commands. Mia and I comply immediately. We are used to his orders. Kate demurs. "I don't want water," she says adamantly. Christian glares at her. "You will drink because it will keep you from being ill. Now." Oh, this is good. Finally, a showdown between Kate and Christian. This should be interesting. Kate stares at him for what seems like a long time. Then she reaches up and takes the glass he has been holding out to her. She takes a sip. "Drink all of it," he says firmly. Kate looks at him as if weighing the consequences. Finally, she drinks the full glass of water. Holy cow. Even Kate cannot disobey a Christian order. My universe is spinning.

We sit on the bed, eating pizza and subs, drinking more wine. Finally we all fall asleep, haphazardly wherever we have landed.

I wake to full sunlight flooding the room. Kate and Mia are still sound asleep. I slip out of bed and head for the kitchen. I could use some orange juice. Christian is sitting at the counter, sipping coffee and reading the paper. He's dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He must have sneaked into the bedroom to get his clothes. "Hello my gorgeous husband." I reach on my tiptoes but still can't reach his mouth to kiss it.

"Hello yourself, my gorgeous wife." He picks me up and sits me on a stool, leans over and kisses me warmly.

"How are you feeling? I noticed you girls drained both bottles of wine."

"I could use some Advil and some juice."

"Coming up, baby." He pours me a glass of juice and brings me some tablets.

Mia comes wandering out, rubbing her eyes. "Do you have any more of that Christian? I have a terrible headache." She climbs on a stool and puts her head in her hands. Christian gives her a hug. "I'm glad you have come to your senses, little sister. Saves me the trouble of spanking the daylights out of you." He smiles down at her. Mia sticks her tongue out at him. Christian laughs a hearty laugh. "I'll get something for your head."

"Me three," yawns Kate as she joins us at the breakfast bar. Christian looks amused. "Well, this is a first. I've never had to take care of three hung over girls at the same time. Maybe I should call Elliot to come help." He pours two more glasses of orange juice and sits the bottle of Advil on the counter. Then he leaves us to nurse our hangovers.

Mrs. Jones appears within a few minutes. "Mr. Grey says you three would like something to eat. What can I make for you?"

Elliot arrives while we are enjoying Mrs. Jones bacon and omelets. "Hi baby" he puts his arms around Kate. "Christian called for reinforcements." Christian looks guilty. "Apparently he's overwhelmed by three beautiful women experiencing the after affects of their debauchery."

I look at the four people around me and feel a wave of joy. My family. I never had brothers and sisters. Kate is the closest thing I've ever had to a sister. Now I have two and a big brother too. I love the way they take care of each other, the way they tease, the way they know each other so well. I want to know them all as well as they know each other. I belong. I really belong. My family. It's a wonderful feeling and I throw my arms around Christian's neck. "I'm so happy" I croon. Christian looks down at me. "I know," he says simply.

30


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Apparently Christmas is traditionally held at the Grey home in Seattle. Then on December 26th, the family goes to the large Grey house in Montana for a week of skiing. Christian flies them all in his plane and everyone is expected to stay for a week. This year, Kate will be coming separately after spending Christmas day with her family.

I have no Christmas traditions to speak of. Mostly I bounced between Ray and my mother…and whomever she was married to at the time. She sounds sad that I won't be there for Christmas but understands. "Maybe we can work out an every other year schedule" I try to soften the blow. "I know, honey. You belong with your husband now. I understand. Will you ask Christian if you can come after New Years for a few days?"

"Sure Mom. I'll ask Christian. You and Bob have a Merry Christmas. I'll call you. I love you."

"I love you too Ana."

It's my last day at work before the holidays and I'm trying to clear up all the loose ends. The phone rings. "Hi sweetie. What time can you get away?"

"Hi to you too. How about six?"

"Ok, I'll have Taylor drop me off and we can take your car to dinner. Any place you'd like to go? We should celebrate the last day of work until next year."

"Yeah, right. You're telling me you aren't going to do any work during the holidays."

"I might have to take a few phone calls," he says cheerfully. "I'll see you at six. Laters baby."

Taylor has dropped Christian off and he is sitting in my car waiting for me. He jumps out and opens the door for me just as I reach down to open it myself. "Uh Uh, always let a gentleman open your door."

"Sometimes you're so old fashioned, Christian. Like you're from another era"

"We have an old fashioned marriage," I know what he's referring to. "That's what I want to talk about this evening. How we are going to comport ourselves while we are with the whole family for a week. I don't think you've been able to stay out of trouble for a whole week since I met you."

"Gee, thanks Christian. You really know how to make a girl feel good."

"Well, do you disagree?"

"I guess not. But if you didn't have so many damn rules, I wouldn't be in so damned much trouble all the time."

"Watch your language, Anastasia."

"I rest my case."

"OK, let's start over. How was your day?"

We arrive at the restaurant and are seated at a quiet table in the corner at the front of the dining room. A large window covers the front wall of the restaurant. A candle and a long stem red rose adorn the middle of the table. It's a very romantic setting.

"Bring a wine list please" Christian orders the waiter before he can say whatever it is he has been trained to say to greet guests. Honestly Christian, do you have to wear your CEO hat everywhere you go.

Christian orders the wine and then focuses his attention on me. "You look lovely Mrs. Grey. How did I ever get so lucky to win you?"

"Back at you, Mr. Grey." I love romantic Christian. Of all of his Fifty shades, this is the one I long for.

The wine comes and Christian takes a sip. "That's fine," he says curtly. "And we'd like to order. Mrs. Grey, what will you be having this evening?" I can remember when he ordered for me. "I'll have whatever you're having Mr. Grey." He nods and smiles at me. He remembers. It's what I always said when we were first dating and I didn't have a clue what I was doing.

"We'll have the salmon with Béarnaise sauce, asparagus and baked potato, butter only."

We sip our wine and I can tell Christian has something on his mind. "What is it Christian? You seem deep in thought. Is something wrong at work?"

"I want to talk about skiing."

"What about skiing. I'm looking forward to it." I know exactly what he's thinking. He doesn't want me to ski. Poor overprotective Christian is worrying about it already.

"I'm not going to forbid you to ski but I want you to take lessons and stay on the green slopes. And I want you to promise not to ski alone and to stay in the safe areas."

"OK." No point in arguing about it in rainy Seattle. I'll cross that proverbial bridge when we come to it. Besides, it does sound reasonable given that I have never skied before.

"Do you mean it? Or are you just trying to humor me."

"A little of some and a little of the other." I smile sweetly at him.

"You're in a mischievous mood tonight. Is it the thought of two weeks of vacation that has you so impish?"

"I guess so. That and having my beautiful husband pick me up at work and take me to dinner." I reach over and pat his thigh.

"Oh Mrs. Grey, what you do to me. We have three whole days before Christmas and nothing we have to do. No corporate functions or charity balls. What can you possibly think to do in all that time?" His look is sensual, seductive, mesmerizing.

"I can think of a few things and you're never at a loss for…um, activities." I return his sensual stare and my body begins the dance of joy.

"You. Are. So. Beautiful." His eyes never leave mine. "The most beautiful, however, when you're turned on. I love your sexy look."

"You bring out the sexy in me. How did I ever last for 21 years without an orgasm? I had no idea what I was missing."

"You saved yourself for me, baby. All. Mine. Really and truly Only. Mine." He emphasizes each word.

"All yours" I acknowledge.

The waiter brings our dinner and breaks the spell. He knows he has interrupted something and clears his throat. "Will that be all?" he asks.

"Yes" Christian snaps, obviously regretting that the interlude is over. He is so short with waiters. It's embarrassing.

We start to eat and I find I'm hungry. I hope Christian doesn't ask if I ate lunch. Of course I didn't. I was trying to get everything finished before starting the holiday. "Well, baby, I want to talk about Montana."

"What about Montana. I'm excited about that too. It will be such fun to have the whole family together."

I have always looked forward to our family week there after Christmas, but I have to admit I am kind of dreading it this year. First of all, I don't want to share you with five other people for a whole week. I like our privacy. And second, there's the problem of our relationship. We can put it on the back burner, so to speak, for an evening or even a day. But I think it will be difficult for seven days."

"Oh, I hadn't thought about that. Are you ashamed of the way we are together?"

"No, not ashamed like I was when I had submissives. Actually I think my mom and dad have a relationship a lot like ours. Oh, I can't imagine that he has ever spanked her but dad is definitely the head of the household. They have seen us together enough that they already know that I'm the boss. They know my personality, Ana. They wouldn't expect me to be any different with you."

"Your dad once told me I give you a challenge and that it's good for you. He said that after I barged into your office when you were discussing Mia. Remember, he laughed at me when you were so angry. And he saw you swat my backside. I don't think they are surprised by much that you do."

"Yes, that was an awkward situation. You were just so…so…arrogant."

"I hope you remember how well it all turned out."

"Yes, it did. You were wonderful with Mia. But Ana, I cannot punish you in front of the family. And you tend to take advantage when we're not alone. You say and do things you would never dare when we're in private. I've decided how I intend to handle the situation."

This is turning serious. "I don't see what you're fretting about, Christian. I'm really looking forward to the holidays, including the trip to Montana. I love being with your family."

"OUR family, Ana. Just like OUR money."

"OK, you know what I mean."

"Mrs. Grey, you seem to lose contact with reality when you're around Kate, and now, even with Mia. I don't want to have to deal with you running off on one of Kate's wild adventures or Mia's for that matter."

"You have never liked Kate. You don't even give her a chance. She's my best friend, like a sister to me." Now I am angry. Our romantic dinner has taken a wrong turn. Christian and his mercurial moods strike again.

"I admit I was not her biggest supporter when we met, but she didn't approve of me either. She's grown on me and I think we have a very cordial relationship. I just know that she has a lot of influence on you and I generally don't like the kind of influence she has."

"What is that supposed to mean?" We might as well have this out. I'm tired of his constant criticism of my best friend.

"It means she encourages you to defy me." His look is the intense, mindreading look that makes me want to squirm. "Just as I thought. Your eyes give you away, Anastasia. I know Kate doesn't like my control of you. She encourages you to do as you like. And she curses like a stevedore. I don't want that interference when we are with the family."

"I don't know what to say about that, Christian. I love Kate. I intend to have a good time with her over Christmas. Maybe you're going to have to give up some of your legendary control for a week."

Christian's eyes burn. His whole face turns stern. "That's not going to happen.

In fact, what I wanted to explain to you about the vacation is that I intend to be very, very strict with you. I've thought about this and I think the best thing for our relationship is that I make sure you don't step out of line at all."

"Oh, that sounds like a delightful time will be had by all. Now I'm really looking forward to the whole fucking week." I don't care how I sound. This is Fifty Shades at his most ridiculous.

"Watch you language, Anastasia. That's your second warning. Once more and I'll wash your mouth out with soap when we get home." He glares at me. "I'm just telling you how I plan to make sure we have a happy, uneventful holiday."

Uneventful? Yes, that would appeal to Christian. Total control. No surprises.

"And how do you plan to make this such a happy time?"

"I have a lot more options now, many of them quiet and unobtrusive. If you start to get out of line, you'll be spending a lot of time in the corner, or confined to your bedroom. I could make you sit on a chair with your hands folded in your lap. Foul language will result in a mouth full of soap. Crops are very quiet. "

I can't believe he's saying this. "I left work with the idea of a romantic dinner and the Christmas holidays, learning to ski, and spending joyful times with the people I love. And all you can think about is controlling me. Christian, this is insane. You need to see Dr. Flynn. Maybe I should go with you."

"I'm not trying to curtail your good time. I just don't want to spend the week worrying myself sick about what you're going to do. I want to make sure we understand each other before we get there. You can avoid any punishments at all if you behave. Is that so much to ask?"

That's easier said than done. "I have to think about it."

I used to be confused about his rules. I never knew what they were. Now, I have to admit, I have a much clearer idea of what Christian considers disobedience. If I am really honest with myself, he has usually been pretty fair about punishments. Except for the one, very real, spanking, all the other punishments have been erotic and always end in extraordinary sex. I'm not sure they are punishments at all. They are really just Christian asserting his dominance and feeding his control issues. He's doing this because he needs control and he's afraid that he won't have control in the midst of his family. It is who he is.

"So if I understand this, you're afraid of not having control when we're in Montana because we'll be around your family. So you have to have a way to make sure you're in total control of me."

"I guess that's a fair and accurate description."

"And I don't have any say in this."

"Ana, you have all the control. You always do. Just be a good wife and I will be happy. We've had a wonderful month since gave you the spanking. No more long, drawn out fights, no sulking, no defiance. We've never been happier. I don't want to get our marriage off track because we spend a week with family, and Kate."

"Kate is going to be part of the family, Christian, and you're going to have to come to terms with that. She's a wonderful friend and she's loyal to me. You have to get over your rocky beginning with her. She felt that she was protecting me from the big, bad wolf. She doesn't feel that way anymore."

"Understood. Now, do you understand how things are going to be when we are in Montana? I need to know that you're clear about my expectations. I don't want to have to punish you. I really want us to be the loving husband and wife that we are. And I do want you to have fun."

"What are the rules going to be? I know how much you love rules. I think I deserve to know what they are."

"Fair enough. They're basically just the same as if we were at home. You will be respectful to me. That means curb the more caustic aspects of your smart mouth. You know I love your smart mouth and our banter but don't use the presence of the family to get by with outright disrespect. " He pauses to make sure I understand.

"No going out of the house without my knowledge. Security will be more relaxed but I need to know you're safe. Just tell me if you have plans with the girls so I can….assess the situation."

Yeah, right. So you can give me permission….or deny it, I think.

"Is that all" I ask sarcastically.

"That's the kind of disrespect I am talking about. I would be embarrassed if you spoke to me that way in front of my family. It would reflect poorly on me..and on you."

"Do I have a choice in this?" I ask more politely.

"No, Anastasia. You do not." His voice is softer.

"Ok, I guess I'll have to deal with it. But I want you to promise me something too."

"What is it?" He looks skeptical.

"I want you to promise not to be so bossy, not to try to control my every move. I don't want you to hover over me like a watchdog. You would make me nervous like you used to do and I really want to have a good time."

"Ok. I promise to try not to be bossy, or to hover." That's as good as I'm going to get from my Fifty. He is still a challenge. I remind myself that it's only six months since we got married and we still have a lifetime to go. He has made a lot of changes and I'm not intimidated by him anymore. He doesn't want a submissive, just an obedient wife. He doesn't have canes and whips. He doesn't shout at me. Occasionally he listens to me. He makes love to me…..often. I remember when that was a foreign concept to him. I can touch him and caress him anywhere on his body. Yes, he has changed a lot. I can do this for him.

"Ok, I'll try to be a loving wife to you. You know the obedience thing is still a problem for me, but I can play along for a week." I remember the horrible fight we had about the 'obey' part of the marriage vows. I won that one but at great emotional cost to both of us. And now it looks like it doesn't even matter whether I vowed it or not.

"Anastasia, this is not about play. Play is for the playroom. This is real life and what I expect as head of our household." His intense gaze is stern.

"Geez, Ok. I get it."

"Good" he says simply. Let's talk about Christmas. Now what were you saying you got me?" He grins his most charming, little boy grin. I wish I could change my mood on a dime like he does.

"I don't think I was saying, Mr. Grey. But you're free to tell me what you got me" I tease.

It's Friday, two days before Christmas. I need to finish one of Christian's presents and I need privacy to do it.

"What are your plans for today," he asks over breakfast.

"I have a few more things to pick up at the store and I need some time alone. How about you?"

"I have one important errand" he winks at me. It must be my present. I love all the secrecy surrounding Christmas. It's the best part. "But it will only take half and hour, then I can go shopping with you."

"Give me an hour alone and then we'll go. And stay away from me, Ok?"

His eyes gleam with anticipation. "Mrs. Grey, you're always full of surprises. You have peeked my curiosity. Where do you want your 'time alone' I think you called it?"

"The library, my office."

I settle into the library and start up my computer. I am making a montage of our time together, pictures from the Coping Together gala, our honeymoon, Aspen, the pictures I have taken at home and some of the pictures he has taken of me. I even got some of the pictures Jose took of me. I have chosen only two of the hundreds he has taken of me sleeping. More would be creepy and I want to show this to the family. I have chosen music for the montage and just have to insert that in the collage of pictures.

I look at the pictures once again to run the music through my head, making sure it fits each photo. I have seen it so many times as I compiled the pictures and every time I am stunned at Christian's beauty. He is so photogenic. The laughing Christian, the pensive one, Christian in cutoffs and a t-shirt, Christian in black tux. He is beautiful in every one. He has been beautiful to me from the first day I laid eyes on him in his office. How did I ever get so lucky to find a man this gorgeous who actually loves me? All his control issues fade in the background when I think of the love we have for each other. I want to make something for him that shows our love. I so hope he will like it.

I have chosen Céline Dion's "Because of You." I download the music and then run through the whole montage. The words are beautiful. "You saw the best there was in me.. ….I am everything I am because you loved me."

I like it. I just hope Christian does. I can't put it on his iPad yet. He would see it. How to do this? I want to show it to the family Christmas morning. I think Grace and Carrick will like it. Mia. She can help. I call her.

"Mia, I have always wondered. Are you the one who made the plans to fill the boathouse attic with flowers when Christian proposed to me."

"That would be me," she says brightly. "I thought he was crazy but the effect was marvelous."

"Well, I have a Christmas surprise for Christian and I need a co-conspirator. Are you interested?"

"Are in kidding? I love that kind of stuff. Count me in. What is it?" Mia is her exuberant self.

"I'm not too sure about it so I'd like you to see it first. Any chance you can come over this afternoon?"

"I'm doing some last minute shopping but I can swing by about three if that works."

"Perfect. See you then."

Christian has run his errand and is ready to take me on mine. He wants to show me what he picked up this morning. He leads me to his office and produces a bag from Cartier. "Sit down and I'll show you what I bought for us to give the family."

There is something for each member of the family from Cartier, all individually chosen. For Grace, there is a platinum ring with a stone for each of her three children, each one surrounded by small diamonds. "They are our birth stones," he says proudly. For Mia, there is a delicate diamond drop on a silver chain with diamond earrings to match. For Carrick and Elliot, there is a Calibri Cartier watch, silver for Elliot, gold for Carrick. And for Kate, there is a Trinity bracelet, three delicate strands of white gold, gold and pink gold woven together. They are all breathtaking.

"You bought Kate a Christmas present?" There is wonderment and a question in my voice.

"As you said, she's going to be family. I think it's time we bury the hatchet." He looks at me proudly.

"Oh, Christian. I put my arms around him. "I love you so much."

"Now you have to do your part—wrapping all this. I used to get Mrs. Jones to do that, but now I have a wife." He beams as if he is proud of himself.

Shopping doesn't take long and I find out something else about Christian. He hates to shop. Do all men? He buys most things online or sends Taylor out for them. The only store I know he has graced with his presence is Cartier's. He gets grumpy after half and hour as I speed shop for the few things I need.

"It was a pleasure to go shopping with you Christian. Remind me to do it again next year." We are headed to the car.

"I would like to take you shopping for clothes. I know exactly what I like you to wear. We could have some fun doing that?" He sounds contrite.

Mia arrives at three and we dismiss Christian. He is curious and wants to know what we are up to but we slip into the library and lock the door.

"Mia, I don't know if this is going to go well with Christian and I want to show it to the whole family. I want everyone to know how far Christian has come. They don't get to see the soft, loving person he is very often. So you have to be honest with me. Give me your true reaction." I sit her down at my desk and start the video.

As she watches, her face grows soft. Then her eyes begin to water and a few tears slip down her face. When it ends, she throws her arms around my neck. "Oh Ana. It's so beautiful. It made me cry. You have been an answer to a prayer for Christian. I love you so much."

"So you think it's Ok. He'll like it" I'm embarrassed by her display of affection.

"It's better than Ok. It's wonderful. When are you going to show it?"

"I thought Christmas morning, after all the presents are opened. The question is how to show it. I would like to put it on the flat screen in the family room. But I would have to hook a computer to the screen to show it. Do you know how to do that?"

"No. I haven't a clue."

I don't want to ask Elliot because I want it to be a surprise. Any ideas." Suddenly it dawns on me. Taylor knows all that stuff. "Let me see if Taylor can help."

I find Taylor in Christian's office, going over the security schedule for the trip. Christian looks up. "What is it Ana?"

"I would like to borrow Taylor for a few minutes, please." Christian looks amused. "I hope you aren't up to no good." He says it sternly but the amusement is there.

"Oh, I definitely am." Christian laughs out loud. "Well, at least you're honest." He nods his assent to Taylor.

Taylor follows me into the library. "Good afternoon, Miss Grey. He nods to Mia. "Hi Taylor. We have a very secret mission here."

"Taylor, I have made a musical montage for Christian for Christmas. I want to show it Christmas morning. They have a big, flat screen TV. Do you know how I hook up the computer so I can show it on the screen?"

"Of course, Mrs. Grey. All you need is an adapter. I can get one for you and show you how to hook it up."

"Wonderful. Thank you Taylor. I really appreciate it. Now don't tell Christian anything. Can we go get the adapter now? I'll go with you."

"Let me finish my meeting with Mr. Grey. I'll be ready in half and hour."

Last Christmas mission completed. I have three presents for Christian and I hope he likes them all.

Christmas arrives to a sunny, crisp day. The light shines in the bedroom with a promise of Christmas joy. Christian is already up. He let me sleep. I wander into the great room and find the lights on the Christmas tree have been turned on and soft Christmas music is playing on the stereo. Candles are lit on the mantle and on the coffee table. Christian appears from the kitchen, dressed in his pajamas and hands me a cup of tea.

"Merry Christmas, sleepy head. I've been waiting for you for an hour."

"Merry Christmas, love of my life." He puts the tea on the table and wraps his arms around me, one hand pressed against my bottom, pulling me close and the other hand in my hair, pressing his mouth to mine. He kisses my forehead gently, then my neck, then nuzzles between my breasts. I respond by curling my fingers around his ears, in his hair, holding him to my breasts.

"Ana, our first Christmas together. I can't imagine life without you anymore. Everything is more colorful with you. Everything more satisfying. It all has a purpose now. I love you so much."

"And I you, my love. You're my world. What if I had not come to interview you that fateful day? I think the universe wanted there to be an 'us.'"

"Come, I have presents for you. And hopefully you have some for me too." He looks like a little boy on Christmas morning. We sit on the floor by the Christmas tree with the brightly colored presents under it.

"You first" he commands. Geez, he even orders me to open presents.

The first gift is in a huge box. I am intrigued. I open it to find an entire ski outfit, overalls, ski jacket, hat and ski gloves, all in silver and blue. "Oh Christian, this is wonderful. You're going to let me ski. I didn't know what I would need and now I'll look like a pro." I am grinning my happiest grin and I throw my arms around Christian's head and hug him.

"Ok, your turn." His box is small but when he takes the wrapper off, it's from Cartier. "Ana, you have been shopping at Cartier?" He is stunned. "That's my girl. I'm proud of you."

He opens the box and finds a silver money clip. He looks at me questioningly.

"It's engraved." He looks closer. "OURS" and under that "C & A."

"I wanted you to know I'm working on it." Does he like it? I can't tell.

"Mrs. Grey, this means a lot to me. More than you know. It means you accept all of me. You accept that you are Mrs. Grey." He leans over and kisses me softly. "Anastasia, this is most decorative and also useful." I love my teasing, playful Christian.

"Your turn" He hands me a small box and I know without opening it, it's from Cartier's. Inside is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. It's white gold with a large sapphire in the middle and two smaller sapphires on each side. Smaller diamonds flank each side of the sapphires. I look at Christian in awe.

"I don't know what to say. It's exquisite. I've never seen anything so beautiful."

"It's the color of your eyes," he says proudly. Took Cartier's a month to find ones the right color. I think they're sick of me. Let me put it on you." He leans over and slowly slips it on my finger on my right hand. It fits perfectly.

"With this ring, I declare thee my partner for life."

"Thank you Christian. You spoil me."

"No, I indulge you. I will never spoil you. There's a difference. I always want you to be my sweet, loving wife." Honestly, I think. Must he always get back to that?

"Christian, I have one for you that I am going to give you at your mom and dad's later. And I have one more for you here, but I'm not sure about it. I almost don't want to give it to you, but really I do, but I am embarrassed…..if you don't like it…"

"Anastasia, I will love anything you give me because I know it comes from your heart. Now, hand it over." He gives me a big, boyish, toothy smile. "The curiosity is killing me. Come on, give it to me."

I hand him the flat box that I wrapped carefully in beautiful gold paper and a big golden bow. He takes it gingerly, tears off the paper and lifts the lid. The card on the top of the tissue papers says simply "Please Use Carefully." He lifts up the tissue paper and looks …shocked. He doesn't move a muscle. Oh, no. This wasn't a good idea. I am mortified.

Christian looks at me with absolutely no expression on his face but shock and lifts the paddle carefully out of the box. It's round, smooth wood with a wooden handle. He looks at the words on the front "Ana's Remorse." He gently rubs his hand over the smooth wood as if caressing it.

"Baby, I can't believe you did this. Does this mean what I think it means?" He is staring at me intently.

"I wanted you to know that I accept all of you, just the way your are. I accept that we are wealthy and I accept your control, and most of all, I trust you. This is a symbol of my trust. You're my one and only true love."

"Ana, I don't know what to say. I have no words for this kind of gift." A lone tear falls onto his cheek. I move over to sit on his lap. "It is Ok? Did I do something wrong?" I wipe his tear away and kiss his cheek where it fell.

"No, baby, you did something so right you will never understand it. I don't think I can even put it into words. I have to assimilate this. But I am more than pleased. I am elated. You're the most wonderful wife any man could ever have. You. Are. Mine. And you just told me so on a whole new level."

We just sit there, on the floor, arms wrapped around each other, drinking in each other's scents and feel. All thoughts go out of my head as I experience the moment. Christian lifts me off his lap. "I didn't know I was getting a toy for Christmas. And I want to play with it. Now. Bedroom. Go."

I giggle my most embarrassed giggle. "Don't forget the warning on the box." I tease.

Christian follows me into the bedroom. "Don't move. Close your eyes," he commands. I can hear him moving around the room, opening drawers. He comes back to me and whispers softly in my ear. "Your husband wants to pleasure you, wife. He knows what you like. Have you been a good girl?"

I nod my head vigorously. I know he has the paddle in his hand.

"A very good girl?" His voice is silky, seductive. My body stirs. I nod vigorously again.

"Do you trust me?" I nod again. What is he cooking up?

He leads me to the bed. "Keep your eyes closed or I will blindfold you." He lifts me by the waist so my feet aren't touching the floor and pulls my nightgown up to my waist. He begins to massage my bottom, then moves lower to palm my sex. "Oh wife of mine, you never disappoint. You're a sexy little thing. My plaything. All mine." I groan as my desire rises.

"Hold still" he commands. And then I feel them. He's putting my favorite balls into me. It's a special treat he reserves for special occasions. I have asked for them several times and hinted that I wanted them many more, but he always says no. Once he told me that I hadn't been good enough to deserve them.

"Do you like?" he asks in his teasing voice.

"You know I do." I whisper. My breathing is becoming more rapid.

He lifts me off the bed and pulls up my pajama bottoms. You can open your eyes. I gaze up at him and see yet another side of Christian Grey. He's in his Dom alter ego but with a tenderness I have never seen in that state. "Go and get the card that came with my present," he says softly but firmly.

I head to the boxes under the tree. The balls shift as I walk, a sensation that makes me clench and sends shivers though my stomach. I retrieve the card I had written and take it back to Christian. My head is down. I can't look at him. He takes the card and reads it aloud, "Please Use Carefully."

"What did that mean, Anastasia?" He sounds very firm and very sensual.

"It means I like it rough but not too rough." I'm so embarrassed. I still keep my head bowed.

"And if it gets too rough, what are you supposed to do?"

"I'm supposed to use the safe word," I whisper.

"Good girl. And can I trust you to do that?"

"Yes, Sir" now I am mortified but also totally aroused.

"Don't be embarrassed, Anastasia. Your gift is a wonderful Christmas present. You're to be commended on your choice. It was very brave of you. I admire that."

I finally look up at him and he's smiling. "Shall we play with our new toy?"

With that he takes my hand and pulls me to the bed. He sits down and drapes me across his knees. My torso is on the bed and I turn my head as far as I can to see what he is doing.

"My, my. What a nice paddle. It's thin and smooth and just the right size for a naughty bottom. You took great care in choosing this, Anastasia. My compliments on your selection. I like the inscription. "Ana's Remorse." How appropriate."

And he swats me for the first time with the paddle. It hits my sweet spot and moves the balls. "Oh" I groan. It doesn't sting like his hand. I can't really say it even hurts. It just feels like a thud. He brings the paddle down again and I groan again. Holy cow, this is sensual. If I had known it would feel like this, I would have bought him one sooner. Is it because I gave it to him that I find it so pleasurable?

The paddle falls the third time, moving the balls inside me and I am in ecstasy. On the fourth one, I let go and shout "Oh Christian" as I reach a climax that convulses my body. I can feel Christian holding me tighter to keep me on his lap but I am beyond control.

"Oops, baby. That was too fast. I underestimated the power of my new toy. We'll have to practice often to get this right. Would you like to feel its potential?"

"I'm not sure I would." I am trying to relax my spent body.

"I think we should. This is a very flexible instrument. It can give great pleasure as you have just seen. But it's also a useful punishment tool. I will just spank you twice so you know what the experience would be like if I needed to use it for correction of your behavior."

With that he snaps the paddle on my bottom and I scream in protest. "Hey, that really hurt."

"One more." And the paddle snaps my bottom again.

"Ouch. That hurts." I complain.

"Yes, I know." He sounds very satisfied with himself.

He lifts me off his lap and lays me on the bed, crawling in over me and scooting down so his head is at my crest. "I want to thank you properly for my present" he croons. He continues his sensual exploration. He lifts up and comes above me, lifts my bottom slightly and enters me. I am so ready to have him in me. And we both revel in each other as we find our release.

He lifts off of me and lays next to me, his head propped in his hand staring at my face. "I think my wife enjoyed that." He smiles his satisfied smile.

"She did indeed. But she thinks she would like to take back the present. She isn't sure she likes its, uh…flexibility I think you called it." I am only half teasing about this. Those two whacks were not fun.

Christian laughs. "No way. It's my favorite Christmas present and I'm keeping it. It will come in handy for all sorts of occasions. So where did you find it?"

"On line. Remember you taught me how to educate myself on the Internet. I was embarrassed to buy it and doubly embarrassed to have it engraved with ….well, what I had it engraved with. It's great to be able to do that online and not to have to actually talk to someone. I never could have bought it that way."

"I noticed you chose a very thin one. What did you do, read all the descriptions of what the paddles were capable of?"

How does he know? Oh yes. He told me he bought his implements online.

"Actually, yes. I chose the least scary one."

"I'm going to make one alteration. On the other side, I'm going to engrave "Ana's pleasure." "You liked that part, didn't you?"

"Yes, especially with those magical balls."

"You're the bravest woman I know. We better get moving. Mom will be calling over here demanding that we come immediately. Christmas morning is her favorite day of the year. She always made it exciting."

"Do you remember your Christmases as a child?"

"Always eager for information, aren't you? The first Christmas I ever had was with the Grey's. Before that, Christmas was for other people. I thought I was bad and that's why I never got a present. My first Christmas with Carrick and Grace was magical. I got a helicopter and a remote control car. I loved those things and played with them endlessly. Having a Christmas tree in my own house mystified me."

"Come, let's shower together and get ready."

As we're driving to the Greys, Christian's phone rings. Christian answers it from the button on the steering wheel. Grace's voice comes over the speaker. "Merry Christmas Christian and why aren't you're here."

"Merry Christmas, mom. ….You're on speaker phone and Ana and I are almost there.

"Merry Christmas, Ana. Mia is driving me crazy. She wants to start the party."

"I'm sorry but Ana and I had to exchange our gifts. We'll be there in ten minutes."

"Ok darling. We'll be waiting."

Christian clicks off and laughs. "I told you she would be mad if we didn't get there on time. She's a crazy person when it comes to Christmas."

The Grey home is so beautifully decorated it takes my breath away. A huge Christmas tree is artfully decorated, evergreen boughs line the stairway with red bows interspersed. We are greeted at the door by Grace and Carrick and given warm hugs.

Carrick offers rum eggnog and Mia sits by the tree, urging everyone to come open presents. We all sit down for the gift exchange, which is no small task with the mountain of wrapped presents piled under the tree. I add ours to the pile. "Sit" Christian orders. "Arf, Arf," I bark at him. All four Greys burst out laughing. Only Christian is not amused. He glares at me. "Oh stop. It's Christmas," I scold. He shakes his index finger at me and raises one eyebrow in warning. I laugh and find a seat on the couch. Christian sits next to me.

"House rules" Mia announces. "Mom and Dad first." And the presents begin. Everyone has one for everyone else so it takes quite a long time. I am given a beautiful angora ski sweater, a silk nightgown, and a new iPod touch. Christian gave them that idea. He's wanted me to have one.

When the only ones left are from Christian, and I, Mia looks up at Christian. "Did you spoil us again, because I have really hoped so."

Mia," Grace admonishes. "Well, you know it's true" Mia sulks.

"It's Ok, mom. It's like I tell Anastasia. I work hard for my money and I have a knack for making it. So I have the right to spend it any way I want. And nothing I could ever give you could remotely make up for what you have given me. So enjoy." He hands each one of them their Cartier box. Grace opens hers first and tears up. "Oh, Christian, Ana, I've always wanted one of these. It's a mothers ring with all my children's birth stones." Her eyes brim with tears and she leans over to kiss Christian and me. "It's lovely. Thank you so much.

"My turn" Mia asserts. She opens her two boxes. "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, I love them. How did you know? Ana, you have good taste. Thank you both. Thank you so much." She quickly puts the earrings and necklace on. I feel ridiculous. Not only didn't I pay for anything. I didn't help choose it. I need to talk to Christian about this. He's been on his own so long he doesn't even think of including me.

Carrick and Elliot are overwhelmed with their watches. Both get up to hug Christian and me.

"Ana, what did you get from Christian?" Mia asks. I hold up my hand to display my sapphire and diamond ring. "Oh, it gorgeous. Christian does have good taste, thank goodness. And he knows the wife gift rule. "What's that? " asks Christian. "Maybe I better know it. "

Grace and Mia answer at the same time "Nothing that plugs in."

Christian looks confused and Grace smiles. "You know dear, no vacuums, irons, toasters, …"

"I also got a whole ski outfit. I can't wait to be on the slopes." Christian scowls at this but doesn't say anything.

I have one more present for Christian but it's also for the whole family. If you give me a minute, I'll get it ready in the other room." Christian looks at me questioningly. "No peeking," I admonish. "Mia, I need your help."

Taylor's solution and his instructions work perfectly. I turn the volume down and try it. Great. It comes on just as planned. It looks even better on the big, flat screen. I have only seen it on the laptop.

I go back into the living room and invite everyone into the family room. I tell them to all sit down and face the TV screen. I am behind them with my computer on the table. "Ready?" I ask.

I click the computer and the screen lights up.

Christian and Anastasia

A Love Story

The screen fades to the picture of Christian and I at my graduation, then to the one taken at Jose's photography show. Celine starts her song. "For all those time you stood by me…

Everyone is watching intently, quietly. I hope this is OK. I hope Christian likes it. I hope he isn't embarrassed. I wanted them all to see how happy he is, how much I've changed his life and he has changed mine. Please, please let it be ok. The video is over three minutes long, the length of the song. But in that three minutes, so many pictures of him, of me, of us fade in and out on the screen, the Coping Together ball, our wedding, our honeymoon, casual shots at home, on the Grace. It actually looks really good on the large screen.

The last line is "Because you loved me." The screen fades to black. There is stunned silence. Oh no.

Christian clears his throat. "Come here, baby." He holds out his arms to me and I fold into his lap. His eyes are glistening. He buries his face in my hair and simply whispers "Thank you."

Carrick is the first to say anything. "Ana, that was one of the highlights of my life. Thank you." I look at Grace and she is weeping quietly. Carrick hands her a handkerchief and puts his arms around her.

"I told you they would love it." Mia exclaims exuberantly. "Isn't it awesome?"

"Bro, it took you long enough, but I think you found the right woman."

There is an awkward silence for a minute. No one knows what to say. I think they don't want to embarrass Christian. Finally Grace declares. "Christian, you better treat Anastasia like a queen because if you ever do anything to drive her away, you'll have to answer to me." She gets up and comes over to hug us both. "That was beautiful Ana. Thank you for sharing it with us. It reminds me that my prayers have been answered."

"Ok, enough crying. I'm hungry." Elliot to the rescue.

They all troop into the dining room, leaving Christian and I alone. "Baby, you have shocked me three times today. I hope you don't have anything else up your sleeve because my heart couldn't take it." He kisses me, deeply, passionately.

"Do you like it? I didn't know if you would but I really wanted to do it."

"I've never heard that song. I think it should be our theme song."

"I heard it a long time ago but the words didn't have meaning to me then. When I was thinking about a song for this project, it popped into my head. It's perfect for what I wanted to say."

"You're so unique Anastasia. They broke the mold when they made you. How lucky was I to find you. I shudder to think it possible that we didn't meet."

"Hey, you two. Brunch is on the table. Come eat or get a room" calls Elliot.

20


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: I know some of you didn't like that Christian was so harsh, but that was clearly his character in the original books. I think he was transformed by his love for Ana but he is still the same person. In order to stay true to the dominance/submission theme of the trilogy, I thought his new persona needed to be resolved, i.e. dominant but loving. Frankly, I winced at his harsh, punishment fucks in the trilogy. Now that he and Ana have come to terms with his dominance, their relationship can develop into a more equal one. The threat of the kidnapping and his obsession with Ana's safety are directly from the original books. So, keep reading. The rest is less harsh as Christian relaxes because he feels he's in control again. And Ana grows in her independence and self-assurance.

Chapter 5

The next day, we all pile into Christian's plane to head for Montana. Although Christian's staff had Christmas off, Taylor and Sawyer are with us for the Montana trip. Grace and Carrick got the on board bedroom. Apparently that's another Grey tradition. But then, Christian never brought anyone along. We are in the sitting area at the front of the plane, Elliot and Mia are in the middle seating and Taylor and Sawyer are in the back. Elliot is reading, Mia has earphones and is listening to her iPod.

"Why all the security?" I whisper to Christian

"For security's sake" he responds lightly.

"Mia calls them the goon squad." He glares at me. I know he hates that.

"Geez, I didn't say it, Mia did."

"I'll speak to her about it."

"I didn't mean to get you all grumpy. What's the matter? "

"Nothing's the matter, Ana. Why don't you recline your seat and take a nap so you'll be rested when we get there. We were up late last night." He smiles remembering our lovemaking after the Christmas party.

"No thanks." I smile as sweetly as I can.

"That was not a request, Anastasia." He leans over and reclines my seat, then takes a blanket from the overhead bin and covers me.

"I won't go to sleep." Even I can tell that was a childish response. I close my eyes and it seems like just minutes before Christian is waking me, automatically raising the chair to an upright position and fastening my seatbelt. Carrick and Grace are next to us, also fastened for landing.

"Wake up sweetie. We're landing." I look groggily up at him. "You see, I know when you're tired and need a nap. Look out the windows. Aren't the mountains beautiful?"

"Did you have a nice nap, Ana?" asks Grace. Carrick and I slept through the whole flight but we feel guilty. We always used the bedroom, but that was before Christian was married. Now you two must have it."

"We used it on our honeymoon" said Christian. "It was a long flight to London. I'm glad I designed the plane with all the amenities. And you are still welcomed to use it whenever we fly."

We land and a car is waiting for us. "Do they have staff at this house too."

"It's my staff. We used to just have a housekeeper. I added them a few years ago to take care of the house, and us when we are here. I also had a house built for the security staff when they accompany us."

The house is huge in a rustic, Montana sort of way. Dark wood, open beams, white walls and comfortable furniture. There is an enormous great room, a dining room almost as large, eat in kitchen and study and library on the first floor.

"Come, I'll give you a tour of the rest of the house" says Christian. On the second floor are at least five bedrooms, all with private baths and balconies that look out over the mountains. We turn a corner and he leads me to a door at the end of a hallway. "This is our room" he leads me into a beautiful, western style room with a large bed and oversized furniture. There are Indian rugs on the wood floor and a large Indian weave rug on the wall.

"This is lovely." I say. "And you grew up coming here every winter."

"Yeah, it was my favorite time of the year. The house wasn't as big then. I added additions two different times and had it renovated and updated. All the bedrooms didn't have private baths back then. It's the first thing I did because Mia used to stay in the our bathroom primping while Elliot and I screamed at her from the hallway."

"I laugh. I can imagine that Mia dealt her big brothers a fit.

"So is this your house?" I ask.

"No, it's still in my parents name but they consider it part mine. I'm not all that happy about that because I can never do enough for them to make up for what they did for me. But they don't make a big deal of it."

"So, you see Anastasia. I built this room specifically for me. I must have known someday it would be for us. It is secluded, quiet. No one will hear us. Doesn't that give you a comforting feeling?"

"You're teasing me and it's not funny. Are you still going to carry out your control freak plan, even after we had such a wonderful Christmas?" I pout.

"Anastasia, one thing has everything to do with the other. I am going to carry out my plan because it makes us both happy and it is good for our marriage."

"Ana," Mia calls from the hall and then barges in the door. Do you like your room? Christian designed it. Mom and I are going to town. Come with us. There are some cute boutiques."

I look up at Christian. "Did you have plans or can you spare me for awhile." It is my public way of asking permission.

"No, go shop. I'll get Taylor to take you."

"Oh no, not the goon squad here too." Mia moans.

Christian crosses the room like a panther. He grabs Mia's arm and tilts her chin up holding it there. He stares into her eyes. "Don't ever let me hear you refer to the security staff like that again. They are experienced, highly trained people and they deserve your respect. Understand?" He voice is stern. I know that voice. It still intimidates me at time.

"Geez Christian. Sorry. I didn't know you were so touchy about it. " She pulls out of his grasp and runs to the door. "Mom, Christian is being mean to me."

I can't help it. I laugh at her outrageous tattling. Christian shrugs as if to say, 'that's Mia. What can you do with her.'

"She got the message and she won't do it again. She likes to act like it doesn't affect her, but it does."

"She looks up to you Christian. That's how it should be with a big brother."

Grace, Mia and I head for the town. Taylor drives us, of course. We window shop and visit all the boutiques on a quaint avenue. Grace buys a purse she likes and Mia a hat and gloves for skiing. "Where would you like to go Ana? You haven't found anything to buy. Is there a store you want to go to."?

"No Grace. I'm not much of a shopper. I really don't need anything. It's a constant source of irritation to Christian that I'm not much of a consumer. He once ordered me to buy something so I bought him the camera that we took all those pictures with."

Mia has disappeared into a store and Grace and I sit down on a bench in a lovely little garden area.

"You have very good values, Ana. I know you are somewhat overwhelmed by Christian's wealth. He has a knack for business. His outlandish success has surprised us all."

"Sometimes I fantasize that he sells all his companies and we go live in a little brick house with two children and a dog in the yard. That's all I wanted out of life. And with all the notoriety and threats that comes with wealth, I'm not sure it's worth it. Christian and I don't see eye to eye about it."

"Ana, you have been so good for Christian. I know he is a difficult man. He was a difficult child too. We can never know the extent of the trauma he faced when he was just a baby. He only remembers bits of it. But it scarred him terribly. He was such a little waif when we got him. Carrick and I tried every thing we knew to help him live a normal life. After his teenage years, and they were difficult, filled with anger, he learned to deal with his anger by being in control….of everything. Christian goes to extremes in everything he does, whether it's playing the piano or buying companies. His coping mechanism is to always be in control. Honey, I know he tries to control you. Carrick and I have noticed it. It must be hard for you to deal with that sometimes, but I think you handle it extremely well." She laughs. "It has been great to watch you stand up to him, and win. Christian doesn't know what to do with you when you stand up to him. The only people who have ever stood up to him are his mother and father. And I mean the ONLY people, until you came along."

I'm not sure what to say to all of this. I'm surprised they know about Christian's control issues. But then, how could they not. He doesn't exactly hide them. "I have found it best to pick my battles. He needs to have at least the illusion of control so I go with the flow. But when he's really angry with me, or when he makes a decision, I can't manage him at all. His temper used to intimidate me, even scare me sometimes, but that doesn't happen much anymore. I know he'll never hurt me and eventually it will blow over."

"Ana, trust me. He worships you. He has never been like that with anyone. I know he would never hurt you. And I think he controls his temper much better these days too."

"He's obsessed with my safety. Do you know where that comes from? It's suffocating sometimes. The worst fights we ever had were when I went out alone, or went drinking with Kate. He has been in a panic about my skiing for weeks. Constantly having security following me is awful."

"According to the psychologists, and we have had many, he thought he should have protected his mother from the abuse he witnessed. He was only a little child, but he had protective instincts even then. Finding you, and falling in love, brought all those instincts raging back. He is determined to protect the person he loves."

"I guess that makes sense but it is still stifling."

"Ana, I love you like a daughter now, and so does Carrick. You saved Christian from a lonely, isolated life, because that's where he was headed, and you saved Mia's life. We are indebted to you forever. If Christian gives you too hard a time, let me know and I will speak to him. At times, he still listens to his mother and father. It's an old habit." She is so honest and it's comforting to have a mother figure to talk to. I wish I could talk to someone about our new arrangement. I don't know how that's going to work for me. I know it has helped Christian, made him relax, feel in control again. I'm not close enough to Grace yet to share any more than I have. And I don't want Christian to think that I'm disloyal.

"Mom, Ana, what are you doing?" Mia shouts across the part. "Look what I bought."

When we get back to the house, Kate has arrived. She came bearing presents so the opening process starts all over again. She is stunned by Christian's gift and hugs us both warmly. "I guess he doesn't hate me anymore" she whispers in my ear.

Tuesday dawns with a beautiful, crisp day for skiing. I can't wait to put on my new skiing outfit and 'hit the slopes.' Christian, of course, is moody and preoccupied as we sit down for breakfast. The happy chatter at the table doesn't seem to affect his mood in any positive way. "Eat," he says sharply to me. That's it. I'm not putting up with this all day, not with the happy Grey's and Kate having fun. I've looked forward to this for weeks and I intend to enjoy myself. I purposefully put my fork down. Christian raises one eyebrow and gives me the 'don't you dare' look. Kate is watching us, our dance of control, with interest. In the past, she would have interfered but, thankfully, she has learned to let me fight my own battles. She has her own battles to fight with a Grey man.

"Mrs. Grey, something bothering you?" There is a hint of threat in his voice.

"Only you, Mr. Grey" I say bravely.

I pick up my fork and dive into the sausage and omelets. I am hungry but I would like, for once, to eat on my own terms.

We all pile into the vans Christian apparently leased and head for the lodge.

Christian is barking orders like a military commander. He has hired an instructor to spend the entire day with me. His name is Gary and he looks athletic, fit, tanned, like he was born on the ski slopes. Christian eyes him suspiciously. Taylor has to come along to guard me. He sure knows how to take the fun out of everything.

"Mrs. Grey has never skied before so she must stay on the green runs. And you are not to leave her side for a minute." He is looking intently at the young instructor who looks back at him perplexed. The kid can't be much older than me and I'm sure he has never encountered the likes of Christian Grey on a mission.

"Taylor is Mrs. Grey's security guard. He is an excellent skier and will stay with you all day. Make sure you are always within his eyesight. He has final authority over any plans you have for Mrs. Grey. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir Mr. Grey. I was given all of this information by the manager."

"Well, I'm telling you again." Snaps Christian.

"Christian, I'm sure we'll be fine. Go. Take to the slopes and stop worrying about me."

"Ok, behave yourself." He says this firmly and loud enough for Taylor and Gary to hear. He bends down and kisses me gently.

"Taylor?" He nods his silent nod of understanding with Taylor and Taylor nods back. "Sir." Taylor obviously had his orders already.

Gary breathes a sigh of relief when Christian takes off on his skies, presumably for the black runs. He looks at me suspiciously.

"Welcome to my world." I grin at him apologetically. "Please call me Ana." He gives me a warm smile back. We're going to get along fine.

Surprisingly I take to skiing easily, even though we're on the circle green, or training trail. I have my training with Claude to thank for that, and the daily gymnastics with Christian. I love it. The blue sky and white snow, crisp day, it is exhilarating. I'm tired of plowing back and forth on the circle green training run. "Let's go to the green run" I suggest to Gary. "I want to take the chair lift. Do you think I'm ready?"

"Sure, Ana, I think you're ready." Taylor follows us to the chairlift and Gary looks at him questioningly. "He has to come. I'm sorry about that," I say apologetically.

I am thrilled and exhausted by noon when Taylor announces it is time to return for lunch. "Just one more run." I can't get enough of this.

"Mr. Grey wanted you to be at the chalet by noon."

I wink at him. "Remember my motto Taylor. Mr. Grey isn't here."

"Mrs. Grey, I must tell you that Mr. Grey was quite adamant about the orders he gave me. He is not entirely comfortable with your skiing and it would not be a good idea to worry him any further."

He's right of course. I don't need angry Christian today. I cave. "Taylor, what is the plan for the time when I can resume my lesson?"

"Mr. Grey suggested that you rest until 2 and then resume your lesson."

Oh, Mr. Grey has planned this in detail. Why does Taylor get to know the plan and I don't?

"Will that work for you, Gary?

"Sure thing. I'll meet you back here at 2. You're doing great, Ana. You'll be a fine skier in no time." He beams at me.

Christian is pacing, obviously waiting for us. I wonder if he relaxed and had any fun skiing at all. I remove my skies and come bouncing in, grinning from ear to ear. "I LOVE it." I announce to Christian who smiles a broad smile and kisses me softly. "I'm glad. Were you careful?"

"Gary says I'm doing great. I already mastered the green run."

Christian looks alarmed. "I didn't think you would be off the circle green today."

"Oh, Christian, relax. Gary is a great teacher."

We join the other Grey's at the table where food is already being served. "I ordered for you." Christian says. "I hope that's OK."

"Thank God. Ana's still alive," shouts Elliot. "Christian has been such a bag of anxiety he almost ran into a tree."

Christian scowls at Elliot and Grace gives me a knowing look.

By 5 o'clock, I am tired, sore and ready to end my first skiing experience.

Christian cuddles me in the car. "Ready for a hot bath?" he asks.

"That sounds heavenly." I nuzzle under his arm.

As soon as we return, everyone heads to their rooms to get out of the warm ski clothes and shower. Christian turns on the bath water and comes back into the bedroom. He takes me in his arms and kisses me deeply. "I'm proud of you, Mrs. Grey. You did so well today."

"Um, you taste good Mr. Grey. I think I want more of you."

"And you shall have me, Mrs. Grey, as soon as we bathe. Arms Up" he orders. He pulls my ski sweater over my head, then my t-shirt. He reaches around me and unhooks my bra. "Such perfect breasts my wife has," he croons as he cups my breasts. "I am such a lucky, lucky man."

He unbuttons my ski pants and pulls them down. Kneeling, he pulls them over my feet as I balance myself with my hand on his shoulder. Still kneeling, he does the same with my jeans and panties. "Ah, that's the way I like you, baby. Naked and ready for me. Go get in the tub before you get a chill. I'll be there as soon as I get my things off."

I step into the tub and sink into the delicious, scented water. Christian appears and steps in too. He pulls me to him with my back to his front. He dips a washcloth into the water and begins to lightly drag it between my breasts, down my stomach, and then between my legs. I moan quietly. "You are so beautiful, baby."

He lifts me up and turns me to face him then lowers me onto him. "Sorry, I couldn't wait. Don't move. I just want to be connected to you, inside you." I lean forward to kiss him and our lips caress each other. He lathers his hands and begins washing my neck. "Wait" I stop him. I lather my hands. "I want to wash you too." Slowly we lather each other, our necks and chests.

Christian reaches over and soaps up the washcloth. "Hold still" he says. "I want to wash your face." He brushes my hair back and tucks it behind my ears. Slowly and gently he washes my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, my chin. It reminds me of the way a child's face is washed, but it is still so sexy. He rinses out the washcloth and wipes the soap off my face.

He lifts me off of him and scoots me to the other side of the tub. "Let's finish. I want you in bed." His voice is husky.

We wash quickly and Christian steps out of the bathtub and quickly dries himself. Then he lifts me out of the tub and dries me, paying particular attention to some areas. "Christian, I think I'm dry enough there" I giggle.

"Oh, I don't want to miss anything" he says seriously. When he finishes, he picks me up and lays me on the bed. "I'm going to make love to you, baby." He sits back and looks at me intently. "I never thought I would say that to anyone. It still kind of startles me sometimes."

"You make wonderful love to me."

"Does it feel good, baby?"

"Take me, all of me." My voice is breathless already.

I let go and Christian follows me, releasing ourselves in ecstasy until we are spent. Christian rolls over next to me and pulls me close to him. "I love you Anastasia Steele Grey," he whispers.

"And I love you Christian Trevelyan Grey."

"And I love the way you are in our new relationship. You are even more lovely and loving. Do you see that it is working?"

"I like the adoring husband part."

"We have to get up now, you know. The family will be expecting us downstairs." He doesn't sound very excited about that.

"Ok, I'll take the lead." With that, I unwrap his arms and scoot off the bed. "Come, Mr. Grey. Our dinner awaits.

"Ana, I heard you did great. Kate is radiant, her face pink from the day outdoors. "You are already on the green runs. If you can get to the blue ones tomorrow, I'll come ski with you."

Christian glares at her. "Don't temp Ana," he says. "I want her to take it slow and learn the correct techniques."

"Well, I talked to Gary and he said she could be ready for blue by tomorrow." Kate is nothing, if not persistent.

"Dinner's ready" Grace calls, avoiding a showdown between Christian and Kate.

"So, what are my orders today, Sergeant? Or do I have to wait for Taylor to tell me?" It sounds more sarcastic than I mean it.

"Careful, Anastasia." His voice is a warning. "I've hired Gary for the week so he can continue your lessons. We'll meet up at noon for lunch and then rest in the ski lodge until 2 when we can resume skiing. I may come over to see how you're doing this afternoon." He smiles at me warmly.

I have progressed to the easiest blue run by mid afternoon and am flying down the slope when I see Christian waiting at the bottom. Gary is in front of me, leading the way and Taylor brings up the rear.

"Hi" I call out. When I get closer, Christian's face is ashen. "What the hell are you doing on a blue run?" He is livid.

We definitely need a time out. "Christian, can we please speak privately. I head to a sitting area that is vacant at the moment.

"Christian, you have got to get a grip. I am doing really well. I'm safe. Gary wouldn't let me do anything I'm not ready for. He's scared to death of you. Taylor hasn't let us out of his sight. Please, calm down."

"The sight of you flying down that hill made my heart stop."

"I know. But I'm having fun and you aren't going to ruin it."

"I could make you stop." It is only half threatening, more like a pout.

"I know you could, but you won't. I would throw down the gauntlet and then you would have to do something drastic. And it would embarrass both of us. Neither of us wants that. Try to meet me halfway."

Christian looks pensive. "We're late for lunch." He takes my hand to head into the ski lodge. I wave at Gary. "See you at 2?" I question. He nods in agreement, a quizzical look on his face.

At 2 Christian and I are putting on our skies when Gary shows up. "Mrs. Grey tells me she is safe on the number two blue run. Do you think she can handle it?"

"Yes, Mr. Grey. Ana is a natural. She's taking to this very fast."

"Fine. I'll take her up this time. Wait for us here at the bottom of the slope.

We get in the ski lift and I am giggling. "Why the giggle, Anastasia?"

"I'm just so happy. Skiing with my beautiful husband. This is heaven."

He grins back. Disaster averted. He may even get used to this. We get off the lift and Christian looks sternly at me. "We are not going to race. We are going to slalom gently down the mountain. Stay with me and just follow my lead. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir" I say in a crisp military voice as I salute him. He rolls his eyes in his 'what am I going to do with you' look.

Skiing down the mountain with Christian I feel absolutely euphoric. How could life be so good? He smiles an encouraging smile over at me and I know his eyes are twinkling behind his goggles. Somehow it's even sexy. He looks his usual, gorgeous self, hair a total mess from the wind, athletic body at ease on his skies.

When we get to the bottom of the mountain, he leans over and kisses me. "Mrs. Grey, I think you are a skier. I'm proud of you. I told you that you could do anything you set your mind to."

"I thought you told me you were afraid I'd kill myself on the side of the mountain" I tease.

"That too." Christian is finally relaxing about my dangerous introduction to skiing. "I like skiing with you. I think I'll stay with you."

"Don't do that, Christian. You enjoy the difficult runs. I'll cramp your style."

"You never cramp my style, baby."

He calls Gary over. "You have done wonders with my wife, Gary. You can take the afternoon off. Full pay, of course. I'm going to give my wife a few lessons now. We'll see you again in the morning. Say nine o'clock?"

"Yes, Sir. It's been a pleasure. Ana is a quick learner."

"She is at that." Christian gives me a knowing look and I can tell he's not thinking about skiing.

The afternoon is the happiest I think I have ever spent. Christian and I ski the intermediate slope all afternoon. He allows me to go a little faster each time, all the while, watching me closely. We laugh and tease and enjoy the wonder of this beautiful scenery on this beautiful day.

Evenings are spent watching movies, with popcorn and hot chocolate and the usual Grey banter. Christian is relaxed and happy. We make love again before Christian declares lights out. He pulls me close in our favorite spooning position and kisses my hair.

"Christian? I have to ask you something."

"What is it?" he asks sleepily.

"Why are you more relaxed and happier today? Is it because you aren't afraid of me skiing anymore?"

"That's part of it, little one," he murmurs.

"What's the other part?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

He nuzzles his nose in my hair.

"It's because we have taken a big step in our relationship. I feel like I can be in control again. You are beginning to accept your true nature. You are an independent, intelligent woman with a promising career and a mind of your own. But you want a strong, dominant husband to take care of you, to love you and to protect you and the marriage relationship. I understand that. I love it about you."

Wow. That was more than I expected. He is certainly learning to communicate.

"It confuses me Christian. I never thought I would be that way."

"I know. Most women suppress those desires because they think they are supposed to, even though research shows that is what most women want. I don't believe that equality is diminished at all by the kind of relationship we have. In fact, I think it is the smartest, most competent women who want it the most. They want their men to keep up with them, to be able to handle them when they are the most challenging."

"You are a lot more relaxed now, and a lot more loving. I like that?" I am intrigued by the change in him.

"Yes. I did a lot of training to be a Dominant. You know that Anastasia. A lot of that expertise still applies. You once worried that I would miss the harsher aspects of Domination. Well, I don't miss it at all. It doesn't even appeal to me anymore. Falling in love made a big difference. I am still dominant. It's my nature. But I want to dominate you in a loving way, as equals." He kisses my head again. "You gave me a paddle for Christmas." He whispers the last part seductively in my ear. "Did your realize that meant you were finally accepting our relationship?"

"I thought I was doing it for you."

"Mrs. Grey, someday, for as many years as it takes, you are going to admit to yourself that the paddle was for your pleasure too." He pauses. "I think even the back of your head is blushing, little one?"

Geez. How embarrassing. I am so glad we are not having this conversation face to face. Maybe that's why he is opening up.

"I thoroughly enjoy the control it gives me. I have more confidence that you will not disobey me. And therefore, I know I can keep you safe and I can make sure we continue to have a loving relationship. I know you followed all the rules on the slope and you have been a loving wife. It is very comforting to me."

"Does it turn you on?" I am now whispering.

"You know it does. It turns you on too, though you haven't quite figured out why yet."

"Do you know why?"

"Yes, I do. But I want you to figure that out in your own time. If I told you, you would want to deny it, fight it, because you think it's wrong."

'Hm. I'll have to think about that."

"Go to sleep, little one."

By the third day, I am really feeling confident about my abilities on the slopes. Gary lets me ski much faster than Christian did. "Gary, let's try a different run. I'm getting tired of this one."

"There are several other blue runs but they're a little harder than this one. Are you sure you want to try it?"

"Sure. I think I'm ready."

As we head to the other toward the other slope, Taylor intercepts us. "Mrs. Grey. Mr. Grey is not entirely comfortable with you going on any other runs. He asked me to tell you to remain on this one until he arrives."

"And when his he planning to come?"

"He plans to meet you here at noon, ma'am."

"Good, we'll have an hour to try another run. We'll be fine, Taylor. And please don't call Christian and ruin his morning."

"Mrs. Grey, you know I have my orders."

Gary and I head off and Taylor follows. I'm sure he's calling Christian.

"We have to hurry, Gary, if I'm going to get to ski this run. Christian is probably on his way already to stop me." I shrug and give him my apologetic smile.

"What's the deal with him? Don't answer if I'm out of line."

"He's just overprotective. He's really wonderful. It's just that we live in the limelight and there are certain….risks to that. We have to be careful and I'm not known to be very good at that."

"You are a risk taker. That's why you have learned to ski so quickly. Most of the people I teach are scared at first, you know, tentative. It takes them longer. You have no fear at all."

"My husband thinks that's a serious flaw in my character" I laugh.

We get to the top of the slope and I am thrilled. This looks exciting."

"Ok," Gary says. "This run has some sharper curves so stay right behind me. We'll take it pretty slow until I see how you handle it."

We head down the mountain. It is such a free feeling. I've never felt so alive, so in control, so elated. Halfway down the mountain a skier comes roaring by us, cutting it too close for skiing etiquette. "Hey fella, watch out" Gary yells angrily. "I've got a trainee here."

Christian slows down next to me "What you've got here is my wife. On the wrong slope" he glares at me.

"Hi Christian, " I call. "Having fun?"

"I was," he snaps. "Watch where you're going."

When we near the bottom of the slope, Christian takes off and races to the bottom. I can see him turn around like a pro. Wow. He's a good skier too. I wonder again if there is nothing he isn't accomplished at.

When we join him, he gives me a brief, stern look and then turns to Gary. "It seems Mrs. Grey doesn't need any more lessons Gary. You'll be paid through the week. I'll leave it at the desk with a nice tip. You have done very well." He is uncharacteristically cordial to Gary. "She is a fast learner, isn't she?"

"Yes, Sir. She doesn't have any fear. That's why she learns so fast."

Christian stares at me although he is still talking to Gary. "I've noticed that about her. Thank you."

Gary gives me a little salute "It's been a pleasure, Mrs. Grey. You are one of the best students I've had. Happy skiing."

Christian motions me to follow him to the chalet, takes off his skies and sits down on a bench outside while I take mine off. He pats the seat next to him and motions me. "So, you don't think you need to follow my orders unless they are given directly by me." He pauses. "That's a problem, Anastasia. It means I can't trust you with the security team. I have to be at your side if I want to make sure you obey."

"Christian, I don't like getting orders from Taylor or any of the rest of your staff. If you wanted me to stay on a particular run, you should have told me yourself. One minute you tell me I am Mrs. Christian Grey and that everything that is yours is mine. Well, if the staff are mine, then they should do what I say. I don't like being treated like a child."

Christian looks at me, confusion written on his face. I can see that he never thought about it that way. "You have a point, Mrs. Grey. I am accustomed to giving the security staff orders where you are concerned. It's an old habit."

"What, with your subs?" I am still angry that he communicates with Taylor and not with me and then expects me to do what Taylor says.

"Yes, I guess the habit goes back to that. They knew they were following my orders when they were with Taylor. I guess I should have realized the difference sooner. You have repeatedly countermanded my orders with Taylor." We are both quiet for a minute, deep in thought.

"I'm not sure what the solution is right now, Anastasia. It's complicated. But we will discuss it further. I note your objection."

"What's so complicated? Tell me what you want instead of telling Taylor."

"Anastasia, sometimes I even follow Taylor's orders. He is trained in military operations and security procedures. He knows far more about all that than I do and I trust his judgment. We've been together a long time. I can tell you what the rules are but circumstances change. You have to learn to do exactly what Taylor says. It could mean your life."

I hadn't thought about it like that. "That's not my point. My point is that you don't communicate with me. All you said this morning was 'have a good time. Oh yes, and 'behave.' You didn't tell me to stay on the first blue run. Gary thought I was ready. See? Circumstances changed."

Christian smiles wryly. "You've made your point Anastasia so let me make mine. Did you or did you not believe Taylor was telling the truth when he told you my orders were to stay on the same run?"

"Of course I didn't think he was lying."

"Then you disobeyed a direct order from me." He looks at me sternly.

Damn, he's good. He's got me there. "In an indirect way, I guess so."

"Well, then, I shall have to find an indirect way to punish you." He is trying not to smile, I can tell. I was winning this argument just a minute ago. He's good.

"Let's go in. It's time to eat."

Lunch is the usual Grey madhouse. Kate and Mia are animated. "I saw your trainer and he said you took a blue run. That's great, Ana. I'll join you this afternoon. It'll be fun to ski together."

"I'll come too." Mia announces.

"Me too" says Christian.

Both girls groan. "Well, there goes our fun," says Mia.

Christian acts hurt. "You don't want your big brother to ski with you?" He is looking at Mia and she softens. "Ok, you're welcomed to come."

Christian has given Taylor the afternoon off so he can head for the double diamond black runs. Christian says he's an expert skier. It must have been a bore to follow me on green runs. Kate, Mia and I giggle as we take the ski lift up the mountain. Can life get any better?

We all end up staying later than usual and I have a headache by the time we get back to the house. I lay down on the bed. "Christian, I just want to rest before dinner. Go ahead and take your shower."

"Are you OK, baby?" he looks concerned.

"Yes, I'm just tired."

I doze off while he is in the shower. He wakes me. "Can you wake up, little one." He leans over to kiss my forehead. I make myself get up. "Do you think I can go to dinner like this?" I don't smell too bad, do I?"

Christian pulls me to him and sniffs me all over. "You smell delicious."

Even looking at the food makes me nauseous. My head aches and everything seems to be wavy, dreamlike. Grace comes around the table to look at me. "What's the matter, darling? You don't look very good." She pulls my chair out and feels my forehead. "You don't have a fever. Is your throat sore?"

I am embarrassed by the attention. "No, I'm fine. Just tired."

"Can you eat something?" She asks softly.

"I don't think so."

"Christian, let's get Ana up to bed." I can see Christian's worried look and he reaches down to help me up.

"Everyone go ahead and eat," she orders.

Christian holds me around the waist and helps me up the stairs. He pulls the bedspread and sheet down and lays me on the bed. He looks up at Grace with a questioning look.

"Let's get her in a nightgown, Christian."

"I can do it" I whine weakly, trying to lift up.

"No honey. Let us help you. I am a physician, you know." I guess I forget that.

"Christian, I'll just get my bag. I'll be right back.

Christian returns with a nightgown and lifts me up. "Arms up" he says and pulls my shirt over my head. He unhooks by bra and takes it off and pulls the nightgown over my head. He lays me down gently and then removes my socks and shoes and my jeans and panties.

I didn't hear Grace come in the room. "Move out of the way, darling. Ana, open your eyes for me" she says gently. She shines a light in my eyes. She proceeds to put a thermometer in my mouth, take my blood pressure, look down my throat and take my pulse. She is so gentle, telling me everything she is going to do before she does it. Is it because she is a pediatrician or is she just a really good doctor? She takes the thermometer out and reads it.

"Well, Mom. What's wrong? Does she have a fever?" Christian's fear is obvious in his voice.

"Just slightly elevated. She may just be exhausted but I think she is dehydrated. Ana, did you stop to drink today?"

"No, I never thought about it."

"Christian, Ana got a lot of exercise the last two days and there is always sweating under the ski clothes and she didn't replenish her liquids. That can make you really sick. Her heart rate is up; she has a headache and her skin if very dry. She needs to stay in bed and you need to get a lot of liquids down her. Can you do that?" she asks.

"Absolutely, what kind of liquids?"

"I'll send up some gator aide and some juice. We don't want her electrolytes to get out of whack. I'll also send some Tylenol. She'll be OK. I'll come back and check on her in an hour." She leans over and kisses my forehead. "You need to drink, Ana, Ok?

"I will."

Christian sits down on the bed. "This is all my fault, baby. I know you need to drink often when you ski. I never thought to tell you? Didn't Gary say anything?"

"No," I say weakly. I can't keep my eyes open. I can feel Christian patting my hair.

I hear Kate come in. "I brought all kinds of juices and Gator aid. She comes over to the bed. "Ana, you never get sick. I don't think you were sick all through college. You have to get well so we can ski tomorrow. Grace says you have to drink."

"I know" I say weakly. I open my eyes to thank her and catch she and Christian looking worriedly at each other.

Christian pours some juice and sits on the bed. "I'm going to prop you up with another pillow, Ana, so you can drink. He lifts my head a little and puts another pillow behind me. "Open your mouth, Ana, here's the straw." I sip a little.

"You have to do better than that, Ana. We have to get a lot of liquids in you. Take another sip."

Kate comes around and rubs the back of my hand. "I'll come back and check on you in a little while," she says.

It seems like every time I doze off, Christian is waking me with a straw at my mouth. "No" I protest. "I just want to sleep."

"Anastasia, open your mouth this minute" he commands in that voice I know so well. I open again and sip.

"I can't keep her awake long enough to get much in her" I hear him say to Grace.

"Just keep trying Christian. Any amount you get into her will be helpful. Can you set an alarm and make sure she drinks again in an hour or two?"

"I won't sleep. Are you sure that's enough?" Poor Christian is worried. I can hear it in his voice but I can't do anything about it.

"Yes, dear. We're going to bed now but please wake me if there is any change. That means especially if she develops a temperature. Let's hope she is fine in the morning. For now, she needs liquids and sleep."

"Thanks, mom." I can hear her kiss Christian.

Am I dreaming or is Christian turning me over. "No" I whine. "Leave me alone."

"Ana, I think you have a fever. I want to make sure before I wake mom." He puts the thermometer in my mouth. "I love you Ana. I'm just trying to take care of you." He continues to talk softly, sweetly while he holds the thermometer securely. I doze off again until I feel him remove the thermometer.

"Ana, you have a fever. I'm going to wake mom. I'll be right back."

I doze off again. Then I hear Grace and feel her taking my pulse.

"Mom, her temperature was 102!" He sounds frantic.

"Christian, I would feel better if we could get an IV in her. See how her skin is wrinkled? She is dehydrated. I think we can handle it here but it would be faster if we got her to a hospital. What do you want to do?"

I can hear her. "I'm not going to a hospital." I say weakly.

'You are if I take you" he says sternly.

"Mom, you have to tell me. What should I do?"

"This is a borderline issue right now. Let's wait an hour and see if we can get more liquids in her. I'll stay with you. If she gets any worse, we'll take her."

I can feel Christian lifting me up again and putting another pillow behind me. "Baby, you have to stay awake long enough to drink." He puts the straw to my mouth and presses on my chin to open my mouth. I sip.

I try to keep my eyes open but they just won't cooperate. I doze off and Christian annoys me over and over again, pulling my bottom lip down and forcing the straw in my mouth. "Drink Anastasia." I can hear him but his voice seems far away.

"Baby, open your mouth. You need to drink again."

I can't move. It seems impossible to even open my mouth.

"Christian, we need to take her temperature again." Christian gently lifts my head and inserts the thermometer again.

"How long do I keep this in, mom. I just guessed before."

"Three minutes should be fine." I realize Grace is still here and I am vaguely annoyed by this thing in my mouth. I shiver and my body shakes violently. The next thing I hear is Grace saying, "It's up to 103. I'm sure her electrolytes are out of whack. We have to take her to the hospital. I'll wake Carrick."

I can hear Christian moving around the room, getting dressed. Then I doze off again.

Christian is picking me up and putting a robe on me. He wraps me in a blanket and picks me up and sits on the bed with me. I can hear Grace say, "Wait a few minutes Christian. Dad is warming up the car. It's pretty cold out and Ana is already shivering."

"What's wrong?" I hear Kate's voice.

"We need to take Ana to the hospital" Grace says. "She'll be Ok. We'll take good care of her."

"Oh my god" Kate begins to cry. "I'm coming with you."

"Kate, dear. We need to leave immediately. Wake Elliot and have him bring you."

"I'll call Taylor for you Kate. He can take you and Elliot if you want. Mom, hand me my phone and my billfold."

"Taylor, Anastasia is very ill and we need to take her to the hospital. Carrick is taking us. Could you please drive Kate and Elliot. They're getting ready now….We don't know…yes…ok good…thanks."

I'm in Christian's arms in the car. Then I'm in a hospital bed and someone is putting a needle in my arm. "Ouch, don't" I cry.

Christian is sitting on the other side of the bed. "It's Ok, baby. Look at me." He turns my head to look at him. 'You'll be ok now. Just go back to sleep."

"I'm glad we don't have to keep torturing her to get liquids in her, mom. That was awful. She's going to be Ok now, right?"

"Yes, Christian. Don't worry. She's in good hands."

I wake up to bright sunlight, confused. Last night seems a long time ago. It seems like a dream. I look around and find Christian sleeping on a cot. He looks so peaceful I don't want to wake him. My head hurts. I have an IV. Déjà vu. I had one after the kidnapping. I feel stiff and shift in the bed. My small movement wakes Christian. He looks up, sees me awake and leaps off the cot.

"Ana, how are you? It's so good to see you awake and alert. You scared me to death."

"What happened to me Christian?"

"Apparently you dehydrated and had an electrolyte imbalance. It's all my fault. I didn't tell you to drink when you were skiing. I'm sorry, baby." He drops a soft kiss on my forehead, and then presses the call button.

"Yes, a disembodied voice asks, "Can I help you."

"Mrs. Grey is awake. Please let the doctor know and send a nurse."

"Right away" the voice says.

A nurse comes right away. They must have experienced Christian's hospital demeanor last night.

"Good morning, Mrs. Grey. How are you feeling?" she asks.

"Sore and headachy but Ok."

She takes my vital signs and I can hear Christian on the phone. "She's awake Mom. She seems to be much better….yes, they're here…good….we'll see you soon."

"It's handy to have a doctor in the family" I note to Christian. "I think I remember Grace taking care of me last night."

"Yes, she was wonderful. Dad brought us to the hospital. Kate and Elliot were here. You worried a lot of people last night, my dear," he says teasingly.

Grace arrives before I even finish my breakfast. "Well, you look better than you did last night" she observes. "Welcome back to the world."

"I remember you taking care of me," I say shyly. "Thank you."

"You are my daughter, Ana. No thanks are needed."

She comes over to the bed to examine me herself.

"Mom gave all the orders last night." Christian says. "There was only an intern on duty. This is a pretty small hospital."

"Ana, I want to keep the IV in you for at least another 8 hours, but if your blood work is normal then, we can take you home. For now, you need to eat and drink. Christian, I assume you can be sure that happens" she chuckles as she says this.

Oh no, I remember Christian forcing me to drink. Was Grace in the room? I have to ask Christian.

Just then, Kate comes cautiously in the door. "Oh Ana, you had us so worried. You look so much better." She leans over to hug me. "You looked terrible last night."

"Christian, you should go home and get some sleep. I'll stay with Ana."

Christian considers this. He looks at me. "Thank you Kate, I can't go home but I would like to get something to eat. Is there a cafeteria here mom?"

"Yes, Christian, I'll go with you. I haven't eaten either. Shall we bring you something, Kate?" Grace asks.

"Sure, anything."

Kate and I are alone. She sits down on the bed. "So, Ana, I have something to say to you. We spent four years living together and nothing, absolutely nothing, happened to you except an ankle sprain. You have been with Christian for a little over six months, and you've been hospitalized three times. I'm not sure you can survive another year, never mind a lifetime." She is grinning as she says this.

"I guess it does look like a 'dangerous liaison" I tease back.

By evening, Grace allows the IV to be taken out and Christian to take me home. He carries me upstairs, even though I protest that I can walk and lays me on the bed.

"Let's get you undressed and into bed."

"Mr. Grey, I've been in this situation with you before. Please be informed that my physician is Dr. Trevelyan, and I will only be following her orders. Actually I brought her home with me so we can ask her if I need to be treated like an invalid." I give him my most impish grin.

"Sorry, I heard that." Grace inters the room. "And Ana, you do need to stay in bed for the rest of the day. We'll see about tomorrow. You need to heal and get your strength back."

Christian has the most self satisfied gloat on his face.

"You don't know what you're doing to me, Grace. Your son is a veritable dictator when I'm sick." I protest.

Grace laughs heartily. "I am only giving him license to keep you in bed until morning. We'll assess again then. And I don't want to sound like a traitor but you need a dictator when you're sick." She looks sternly at Christian. "But only when she is sick."

Christian is enjoying this. He has his mother's permission to make me behave. He gives me his full tooth smile as if he is daring me to contradict the good doctor.

"You two are wonderful together. I love watching you. Ok, Christian, you are on duty. I wrote down everything she needs tonight. It's on the bathroom counter. Ana, you need to urinate. You had a catheter so we want to be sure your plumbing is working. Christian, call me if she doesn't pee within an hour, or if there is any change." She comes over and gives me a hug. "I hug all my patients," she says with a smile and it makes me giggle. Yeah, they're usually about six years old. "Do what Christian tells you. It will make him so happy."

It turns out to be a non event because I manage to pee and then to fall sound asleep.

By morning I am feeling great. "But Christian, I'm well, I want to ski. We only have two more days." I am out of bed and standing with my hands on my hips.

"Get back in that bed before I decide you are well enough for me to exercise force. You were hospitalized yesterday. There is no way you are skiing again this trip. In fact, I am thinking of taking you back to Seattle today."

Grace knocks on the door. "Come in" growls Christian.

Grace opens the door to see the two of us, me with my hands on my hips, Christian with his arms crossed across his chest, glaring at each other. Grace bursts out laughing. "Back to your corners, you two" she laughs. "Let's take a look at you, Ana." I sit back down on the bed as Grace opens her bag to take my vital signs.

"I assume this argument is about Ana's activity level." She muses.

"Ana would like to go skiing today, mom. I would like to tie her to the bed." Christian looks threateningly at me.

Grace frowns. "Ana, Ana. I am beginning to think Christian has a point when he says you need a keeper. No, I'm sorry, darling, but no skiing for you. You can get up and come downstairs, and if you feel good enough, maybe go to the chalet for lunch. But that's all you're allowed today. You can be mad at me instead of Christian. Doctors are used to that."

"So am I" says Christian ruefully.

I get dressed, with Christian's help, of course and go downstairs for breakfast. The rest of the Grey's are dressed for a day on the slopes and I am jealous, really jealous, and sad.

Kate understands my mood. "I'm sorry, Ana. Do you want me to stay here with you? I ski all the time. I don't need to go today."

"No Kate, that would just make me feel worse. You go too Christian. I don't want to spoil anyone else's fun."

"I'm staying with you. I'm your keeper, by order of your physician."

"Must feel good to have permission for a change," I pout.

Christian gives me a questioning look.

Everyone leaves except Christian and I. I am in a bad mood. I can't believe this happened to me. The last three days were magical. Now I am missing everything.

"Baby, I know you're disappointed. Let's think of something fun to do today," he says encouragingly.

"I want to be skiing. Nothing else will be fun so don't be so patronizing" I snap.

"We are alone in the house, little one. I wouldn't be trying to push all my buttons, if I were you."

"Oh, stop with the threats. I'm an invalid, remember." I should be able to be in a bad mood if I want.

Christian looks intently at me for a very long minute. Then he comes around the table and lifts me off the chair. He carries me up the steps to our room and lays me on the bed, propping two pillows behind my head. "Stay" he commands.

He goes in the bathroom and I wonder what he is doing. He returns and stands over me. "Put your hands together," he commands. When I don't move to obey, he sighs and grabs both of my hands in one of his. He produces the belt from my bathrobe and proceeds to tie my hands together. Then he moves down to my feet and ties my ankles together with the rope from another bathrobe.

"There, that's better," he says with a satisfied grin. He goes across the room and takes my computer from my backpack, crawls back on the bed and opens it.

"What are you doing?" I demand.

He doesn't answer, but begins typing on the keyboard. He puts a pillow on my lap and anchors the laptop on it, then pushes a button. It's my musical montage that I made for him for Christmas. He smiles up at me. We watch it once and then Christian starts it over again. When it ends the second time, he looks at me softly.

"I thought you should remember how much we love each other." He is smiling softly and his eyes are full of love. "I wanted to see it again. And again. And again. Anastasia, it was the best gift I ever received, well, among the best. The "yes" button was the all time best. I am 'everything I am because you loved me."

"And I am everything I am because you loved me" I say quietly.

"I love that you made this for me. The song is perfect. I am finding more meaning in it each time I hear it. Thank you."

I love this man, this stubborn, dominant, mercurial man.

"Can you untie me?" I ask softly.

"Are you going to behave?" he asks.

"I'm going to cuddle with you." I look at him longingly.

Christian unties my ankles and then my hands.

"

24


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: I finally got some fans of my story and that has given me the confidence to post more chapters. I have 12 chapters finished but I almost lost my nerve when a few posts thought Christian was abusive. I thought people who liked EJ's book would like a sequel that was true to the characters. Christian always threatened to spank Anastasia, and did so. I had a problem with his harsh punishment fucks in the trilogy so I thought this was tame. Only the second chapter is pretty heavy. But it set the stage for a warmer, more equal relationship. However, Christian will never stop being a control freak. It's his nature. And part of Ana likes it. That was clear all the way through the trilogy. I had to delete a lot of the sexual parts because apparently this site doesn't allow them. Does anyone know what the rules are about using the M rating? I can't figure it out. Keep giving me feedback, what you like and what you don't. I love that you are enjoying the story.

Chapter 6

The plane ride home was full of exhausted Grey's and most slept or dozed from take off to landing. Christian insisted that I spend the trip in bed at the back of the plane. He is still recovering from my illness, the irony of which does not escape me. He has hardly left my side since we returned from the hospital and frequently confers with Grace on my progress. He did let me go to the chalet and join everyone for lunch but it was too painful to see all of them with their ski clothes, their sun pinked faces and their wind swept hair. I declined to go the last day, spending most of my time watching movies and moping.

Christian refused to go back to the slopes, insisting on staying with me, whether to be kind or to make sure I behaved, I couldn't tell. He was more than patient, fixing me hot chocolate and laying with me at his required nap times. For once, he feels responsible for my illness instead of blaming me. He frets that he did not warn me to drink water during my daylong skiing. He has promised to bring me back to Aspen yet this winter to ski again. I love skiing with him and he seems to love it too.

We arrive home at Escala late but I am wide awake. All the sleep from the last two days caught up with me just like a lack of sleep is cumulative. I bound into the elevator and turn to kiss Christian. "My aren't we jovial tonight. How am I ever going to put you to sleep?"

Darn, now I am late to work, I think as I get in the R8. I love this car as much as I've ever loved an inanimate object. I usually don't get attached to things. I'm not the consumer Christian is. But this car is sexy and a joy to drive. I pull out of the garage and Taylor follows me out to the street. When I get on the highway, I step on the gas. Taylor can keep up. As Christian has said, he can drive anything, anywhere.

Suddenly, I am aware of a siren behind me. I look around to see where the ambulance or fire truck is and see a police care has swerved in between my car and Taylor's. Is he motioning to me? I look quickly at the speedometer. Damn, I'm going at least 20 miles over the speed limit. I panic. Oh no. Christian will kill me.

There is nothing to do but pull over and I ease the car on to the side of the road. I look back and the police car, and Taylor, have pulled over behind me. A very tall policeman gets out, waves to Taylor to go on around us and walks to my window.

"Are you aware you were going 25 miles over the speed limit?" he says sternly. Christian's words pop into me head. I once asked him if he ever had a ticket and he said no, but that he had been stopped before. He bragged that it was his charm that got him out of the tickets.

"I'm sorry officer. This car kind of gets away with me. I didn't mean to speed."

The policeman looks back at Taylor's car and impatiently waves him to take off.

"Officer, he is my security guard. He has to stay with me." This is so embarrassing.

"Security guard. What for?" He sounds angry.

"There are apparently some idiots who are kidnapping women like me." I look at him apologetically. What else can I say? It's the truth and Taylor is not leaving me. That I know.

"Driver's license please" the officer snaps. I dig it out of my purse and hand it to him.

He studies it. I'm sure he knows the Escala address. It says Escala on it. He looks at the car again. "Are you married?" I think he is figuring it out.

"Yes, Sir."

"And who is your husband?"

"Christian Grey." I sound apologetic about that too. How come I am suddenly ashamed of it? Will he think I am just a rich, spoiled woman who thinks she doesn't have to obey the law?

The officer steps away from the car and motions Taylor to come over. Taylor gets out of the car and approaches the policeman. "Sir?" he says in his most professional voice.

"Do you know this lady?" The officer apparently wants to confirm his suspicions.

"Yes, Sir. This is Anastasia Grey, Christian Grey's wife." Taylor's manner is crisp, to the point.

"Does she always exceed the speed limit?" he asks accusingly.

"No, Sir. I have never known her to do that." At least he is on my side.

"Are you her security guard?"

"Yes, Sir. I am employed by Mr. Grey to protect her.

"How long have you been employed by Mr. Grey." What does that have to do with anything, I think.

"Almost five years, Sir" answers Taylor respectfully.

"Well, it won't help to have a security guard protecting her if she drives recklessly." How come I am left out of this conversation? I sped so I should be handling this. What is he, my father?"

"Mr. Grey's sentiments exactly." And I thought Taylor was on my side.

"If you can make sure she slows down, I'll let her go with a warning," the officer looks at me questioningly.

"Oh, yes. I'll slow down" I assure him.

"I have been in touch with Mr. Grey, officer. He is not pleased with the situation. He would prefer you ticket her." So he called Christian already. Now I'm really mad.

"Christian said that!" I squeal.

"Yes, Ma'am. I'm afraid he did."

The policeman looks amused. "I'd like to speak to him."

Taylor presses the speed dial on the phone. "Mr. Grey, the police officer wishes to speak to you." He hands the phone over. I am livid. I feel like I'm not even part of this little discussion. This is about my driving and I would like to take care of the situation myself.

""Mr. Grey?...Yes, Officer Stiles. I pulled your wife over because she was driving 25 miles over the speed limit….yes on the highway. ….I offered to give her a warning because her security guard assured me that she isn't ordinarily a reckless driver. He informs me that you would rather I ticket her….I see…..what does that mean…..yes, I agree ….I know your reputation Mr. Grey and I trust you will take care of the situation….By the way, we met once, at the Coping Together open house. I'm on the advisory committee….Dennis Stiles…yes, …yes it's a wonderful organization. …It's good to talking to you too."

He hands the phone back to Taylor. "I hope you are vigilant. This kidnapping thing is out of control."

"Yes, Sir. Mr. Grey is very careful. He understands the threat." Taylor looks more relaxed.

The Officer turns to me…finally. "Mrs. Grey, you are lucky to have such a wonderful husband. He insists that I give you a ticket. And it sounds like that may be the least of your problems." He pulls out his pad and begins writing. I am steaming. How could he be such a traitor?

He hands me the ticket and warns me to pull out carefully into the oncoming traffic. Taylor returns to his car without a word.

I sit there for a moment, stunned. I could have gotten off without a ticket and Christian talked him into it. Now I'll have points on my license, for the first time in my life.

By the time I get to work I have realized that the policeman wasn't going to give me a ticket because I was Christian's wife. But I deserved a ticket, so why am I mad at Christian. Because he was in control of the situation. His influence, his name is all it takes to get out of a ticket ….or to get one when Christian decides it should be so. It is so maddening.

My cell rings as I park. King of Love. I know Taylor has told him I am in the parking lot. He doesn't want me to use the phone when I'm driving. Of course, he uses his all the time.

"I'm not speaking to you" I snap and hang up. He calls once more but I let it ring.

I walk into work, fuming.

"Ana, are you OK? Asks Hannah.

"Yes, I just got a speeding ticket on the way to work."

"Bummer. I hate when that happens. How much was it?"

"I don't know. I didn't look. It's in the car."

I go into my office and put my things down on my desk. My Blackberry pings. That would be Christian.

**From: Christian Grey**

**Subject: Reckless Driving**

**Date: January 3, 2012**

**To: Anastasia Grey**

**I would think that getting a speeding ticket would result in a more apologetic demeanor. Especially since you know that speeding violates one of your safety rules. The ticket is the least of your problems. Hanging up on me was just plain rude. I will see you tonight.**

**Christian Grey**

**Pissed off CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.**

**From: Anastasia Grey**

**Subject: Interfering Husband**

**Date: January 3, 2012**

**TO: Christian Grey**

**Interfering in my traffic violation, thus ensuring that I got a ticket, was just plain treason. How is it fair in your warped universe that you talk the police out of giving you every ticket you deserved, and then you TALK THEM INTO GIVING ME ONE?**

**Your pissed off wife**

**From: Christian Grey**

**Subject: Disrespectful Wife**

**Date: January 3, 2012**

**To: Anastasia Grey**

**We will discuss this tonight. Taylor will drive you home. **

**Christian Grey**

**Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.**

Oh, the arrogance. Does this mean I can't drive my car? He is making me furious. How am I going to deal with this? Should I take a stand? How could he do this to me? He talked a policeman INTO giving me a ticket. Does his influence know no bounds?

Hannah brings me some tea. "I'm sorry Ana. I hate getting tickets. It makes you feel so powerless. Just write the check and put it in the mail. You'll feel better."

"Thanks, Hannah." How little she knows. It's not the ticket I care about. It's my interfering, dominating husband.

"Let's get to work. I have to take my mind off this."

I manage to focus on my work and the day flies by. At 5 o'clock, my Blackberry pings.

**From: Christian Grey**

**Subject: What time?**

**Date: January 3, 2012**

**To: Anastasia Grey**

**Will you get off work?**

**Christian Grey**

**Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc**

I ignore it. At 5:30, I put on my coat, grab my purse and head for the door. Taylor is sitting in the reception area. He stands. "Mrs. Grey." He looks reluctant. He must hate having to do Christian's dirty work.

I head out the door and he follows me, opening the back door of the Audi. Well, he's my only ride. I'm sure my R8 is back in the garage at Escala. I get in and we ride home in silence. I get out of the car without waiting for Taylor to open the door and head for the elevator. When I open the door, Christian is standing there waiting for me. His face is calm but stern. This is a change. The old Christian would have been shouting. Somehow, right now, I wish for the old Christian.

"We need to talk," he says, removing my coat. I set my purse down on the table. "Come." He takes my arm and leads me to his office. He stands aside and steers me in ahead, then follows me in and closes the door. I cross the room and sit down defiantly in the wing back chair in the seating area.

Christian stands and looks at me intently. He says nothing and I am determined to wait him out. I'll be damned if I am going to break the ice.

I stare up at him and realize he is holding my purse. After another moment, he opens it and reaches in. His hand comes out with my keys. Slowly he sets my purse on his desk and proceeds to remove a key from my keychain. Suddenly I understand. It's my car key.

"Your car will be staying in the garage for awhile," he says softly in that firm way he has of making me feel really stupid.

I glare at him, get up and cross the room to leave. He stops me with a hand on my arm. "Don't even try it Anastasia. I don't like your attitude and I suggest you adjust it quickly or I am going to put you over my knee."

"Christian, I am so mad at you right now that I don't think its possible to adjust my attitude."

He looks down at me as if he is trying to decide what to do. Finally, he sighs as if resigned, takes my hand and leads me behind his desk. Before I can pull away, he sits and turns me over his knee. I start to struggle and he clamps his arm over my back with his hand tight around my waist.

Instead of spanking me, he rubs my back gently. "Perhaps this position will help you moderate your attitude. I strongly suggest you try before I feel compelled to escalate this with a ruler I have here" he threatens.

I stop struggling. I don't want a spanking with the ruler. He used that once before when we played pool and I was aware, even then, that he could make it hurt a lot worse.

"That's better," he says softly. "Now then, speeding 25 miles over the speed limit is extremely dangerous. I take every precaution to keep you safe and then you drive recklessly. The reason I insisted the officer give you a ticket is because the only reason he was going to let you off was because he knows me. He knew you deserved a ticket and I suspect you know that too. I thought you didn't want to trade on my name."

He waits for that to sink in, all the while rubbing my back and then moves his hand to my bottom and strokes it in circles. The suggestion is implied. My anger is fading as it is replaced by fear. My feet are off the ground and my bottom is perfectly positioned for whatever he decides to do.

"Anastasia, that ticket means nothing to you. It's probably less than $100.00. That does not begin to impress on you the seriousness of this offense. You put your life at risk when you drive recklessly. I love you too much to let that happen. So I'm going to give you a punishment that does mean something to you. You will not be allowed to drive your car until I feel you have learned your lesson and you promise to pay attention to your driving. Do you understand?"

He is so controlled. He is keeping his part of our deal. No shouting, no cursing at me. His quiet resolve is worse. It makes me feel terrible. And taking my car away. That is a harsh punishment. I begin to cry softly.

He pats my back for a few minutes, then picks me up and sits me on his lap. He puts my head against his chest and runs his fingers through my hair as I sob quietly. It's been a perfectly horrible day. Getting stopped by the police was humiliating and Christian's interference was humiliating and now I feel punished. And my car, my R8. When will he give it back?

"I'm sorry Anastasia. But this is the way it has to be. And one more thing, You hung up on me, and then you refused to answer the phone or to tell me when you were getting off work. That was disrespectful. You may not do that. I am always respectful to you and I think you should extend the same courtesy to me."

I guess I deserve that. He has never hung up on me.

"Ok, now stop crying. I think Mrs. Jones has dinner ready." He pushes me back from his chest to look at me. Reaching in the pocket of his jacket, he takes out a handkerchief and wipes the tears off my face. Then he leans over and kisses me gently on the lips. "I can't stand it when you put yourself in danger. I promised to protect you. And I will do that no matter what it takes". He smiles down at me. "Sometimes I'd like to lock you in the house forever."

He stands me up then gets up himself. "Are you ready to go eat?" he asks. I nod.

"Hello, Mrs. Grey" says Mrs. Jones cheerfully. Fettuccini Alfredo sound good?"

"That sounds fine." I know I sound subdued. I am subdued. Christian saw to that. Mrs. Jones probably already knows from Taylor what happened. I suspect the staff talks in private. I'll never get used to living in such a fishbowl.

We eat in awkward silence and I pick at my food. Mrs. Jones has disappeared. She can tell the atmosphere is strained.

"Eat some more" Christian says encouragingly.

"I'm really not hungry."

"Well try," he says more firmly.

I finish most of my dinner and push the plate back. We haven't said two sentences the whole meal.

"Let's go" Christian says as he takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom. "Turn around" he says gently. He is being extra kind. I turn around and he unzips my dress, then pulls it slowly it off my shoulders and down my legs. "Step" he says. "Lift your foot," he says softly. He takes off my shoe. He taps my other foot and removes that shoe, then peels my stockings down my legs and removes those too.

He unhooks my bra and slides it off. He is still standing behind me. Slipping his fingers in my panties, he slides those down my legs too. It is so sensual. I am getting hot. I am still standing in the same place, facing the bed. "Where's your nightgown?" he asks softly. I point to the bathroom. It's always hanging on the hook on the back of the door. He goes to get it then turns me around and slips the silk nightgown over my head, pulling it down slowly. Damn, he's getting to me and I didn't want this to happen.

"Ok, into the bed" he announces. What? He gets me all excited and then puts me to bed. I crawl in and he pulls the covers over me. "I'll check on you in an hour" he says and leaves the room.

I lay there still in my aroused state. That was a punishment too, I think, getting me all hot and then walking away. I stuff my feelings down. I need time to think about this. This new Christian is hard to get used to. He's sort of like a loving Dom. He's still very much a Dom. I have to remember that I knew that from the very beginning, certainly before I married him. He still changes when he is in that state. His body changes, more angular, taller, he seems older and so totally controlling. I learned to love that alter ego in the Red Room of Pain, once I was sure that he wouldn't hurt me.

Now he assumes the same stance but it is different. I can't put my finger on it. His body changes but it isn't like the persona he had when he was with Leila in my old apartment. There was something hard about the look on his face then. Now he doesn't have that hardness. In fact, somehow he has the same Dom stance but his face is loving, and stern at the same time. It so different, so confusing.

Agreeing that he could punish me without my consent seemed so natural when we decided it was the answer to the relationship. Never, at any time before or after our marriage, did I ever think he was anything but in control. I came to his castle, the world he ruled. The cars, the helicopter, plane, companies, staff…..all his to control. It didn't seem like the agreement was anything but admitting the reality of Christian's world.

So why did I agree to that? I realize, for about the fifth time, I had to give him the control he craves. He was a walking basket of nerves about me. It just wasn't natural for him. He gave up the harsh Dominant/Submissive, cane-wielding lifestyle for me. I thought I owed him some part of his character. It seemed harmless enough at the time. Now what do we do? He is happy, fulfilled, and less anxious because of our agreement. He is never really scary anymore. In fact, he's more patient. I just keep testing his patience I guess, but I usually don't do it on purpose. I can't seem to stay out of trouble. I think his world invites it. It is so confining, so suffocating. I need to breathe. I need some freedom, some normalcy.

Do I want to negotiate a new deal? It's so hard to know what to do. Other than the few times he has punished me, our relationship is better than ever. We are happier, more loving, and kinder to each other. The punishments have been over in minutes and then we make up with the best sex we ever have. Every since we agreed to the "agreement" we haven't had a fight that lasted over a minute. That part has been nice.

I'm still deep in thought when Christian comes back in the room. He climbs on the bed and lays next to me, his head propped on his hand. He looks at me intently. "How are you doing?' he asks softly.

"I'm not sure. I'm rethinking our arrangement." I put emphasis on the last word.

"And what are you thinking about our arrangement?" He stresses the last word like I did.

"The head of household part is a given. This is your world, your domain. You are used to ruling it with an iron fist. I told you in Montana that I don't like taking order from YOUR staff, and they are yours, not mine. I guess it's only the security staff I feel that way about. And in truth, I don't do what they tell me most of the time anyway." I can see Christian's scowl at this assertion.

"But I am having a hard time with the punishment part. That was not the deal when we got married. In fact, you promised not to spank me unless I gave you permission. And now I've lost my beautiful car. It's hard to take, Christian. I know you feel better since we settled on the new agreement, but I'm the one who gets punished."

Christian reaches over and strokes my hair. "Poor little one. Life is so hard for you now." He sounds patronizing but somehow too sweet to get mad at.

"I want you to give it some time. I think you will learn to stay out of trouble with a little help and a little time. 99% of the time our relationship is wonderful. Aren't you happy, at least when you aren't in trouble?" He looks at me expectantly.

"Yes, Christian, I am." I sigh. "But now I won't be happy, without my car."

"It won't work, little one. No car for a while. I'm sorry that makes you sad but I think I know a way to make you happy." He pulls down the covers and starts to lightly touch my feet, then my ankles, moving up my leg to the part between my legs. I can feel my body responding to his touch, even though my mind says no.

He starts to stimulate me with his hand. "You are the most responsive woman I have ever known. You never disappoint."

"Right now I want to disappoint. My body isn't listening to my mind."

"I know. You're still a little mad at me."

"A little?" The sarcasm is dripping.

Christian ignores my comment. He moves over me and lifts my nightgown up over my breasts and begins sucking them. My traitorous body responds. He moves up to my neck and kisses me, then all over my face. He captures my mouth and I open automatically. His kiss is deep and warm. He enters me slowly, sensuously and starts to move. He lifts my hips to meet him and starts to thrust. It feels so good. "You are so beautiful, Anastasia. And I love you so much. You are my life."

He moves faster and I can't help myself. I lose myself in an orgasm and he follows, calling my name over and over.

He lifts off of me and lays down, pulling me to him in our spooning position with his arm around me. "That was wonderful," he whispers.

I don't know what to respond. I didn't want to give him my orgasm. He's just such a damn good lover. How can I resist.

"Aren't you talking to me?" he asks

"I don't have anything to say."

"If you are going to pout about your punishment, I'll have to spank you, and I really don't want to do that tonight. I want to cuddle with you and comfort you."

"There's only one thing that would comfort me." He's in such a loving mood, I might as well make the most of it. It's worth a try.

"Baby, give it up. I'm not going to relent. I will probably have nightmares about you going 25 miles over the speed limit and crashing into a tree. You. Are. Mine. Anastasia. And I will protect you, even if that makes you mad. I couldn't do it if I didn't love you so much. "

"Didn't you punish your subs?"

"Yes, but that was very different. The motive was not love; it was sexual fulfillment of the dominant role. I am getting absolutely no satisfaction by taking away your car…except the satisfaction that you will be more careful in the future."

I don't know what to respond to that.

"I know what we need. We haven't been in the Red Room of Pain in awhile. I'll take you in there tomorrow night. That's something you can look forward to instead of feeling sorry for yourself tomorrow."

"I don't think I want to do that."

"Anastasia, you would cut off your nose to spite your face. Your whole body responded when I offered that. Now stop pouting and go to sleep."

The next morning, I wake up to the wonderful sunshine of a beautiful day. My first thought is that I cannot drive my car to work. I frown. Christian is just waking up too. "How about sharing a shower?" he asks sleepily.

"OK" I respond because I love showering with Christian. I can't help myself.

He washes me all over and doesn't comment when I don't reciprocate. We dry off and dress in silence, like an old couple that doesn't have anything else to say to each other.

Christian stops me at the door and lifts my chin up so I meet his gaze. "Anastasia, I am only going to put up with this pout you have going for so long. Then I am going to make you very sorry. Let's go eat."

Taylor drives me to work and I don't speak to him. Hannah greets me warmly. "What's wrong Anna?"

"Oh, I'm just still pouting about that ticket." It's true, I am still pouting.

All day the thought of the Red Room of Pain flashes in my mind when I least expect it. It is hard to concentrate in the new projects meeting because images of the kinky fuckery, as Christian calls it, keep invading my thoughts. I am in a half aroused state all morning and a completely aroused state by late afternoon. I do want it I finally admit to myself.

Sawyer picks me up at 6, opening the car door and nodding politely. "Good evening, Mrs. Grey." For some reason I hate it more that Sawyer knows I can't drive my car. I've become more used to Taylor knowing the intimate details of my marriage, but Sawyer is another story.

He pulls up to the front door of Escala and I open the door and get out, breaking all protocol. He turns off the motor and hurries in to accompany me to the elevator. Oh, I wish everyone would just leave me alone

Christian is waiting for me at the breakfast bar, sipping a glass of wine. I toss my briefcase and purse on the table and join him. "Hi" he grins. "How was your day?"

"Fine, how was yours?"

"Just boring mergers and acquisitions."

"Did you buy another company today?" I know I sound sarcastic.

He ignores my tone of voice, and my question. "Would you like some wine?"

"Yes, please."

Mrs. Jones comes back in the kitchen and Christian looks up. "Gail, we're ready to eat any time." We eat in silence again. I do the best I can to finish my food then push my plate away and stand up, heading to the bedroom. Christian follows. Is this going to be the showdown?

"Mrs. Grey, I want you to go to the playroom, take off all your clothes except your panties and kneel by the door as I have shown you." He voice is low, sexy.

My body ignites before he finishes the order. I can't look in his face. Should I do it? I want to play very badly. We haven't been in the playroom for over two weeks. But he wants it too, probably even more than me. It's his way of making sure that we are OK. The stubborn part of me doesn't want to give that to him. He can sense my resistance.

"Little one, we can either go to the playroom and play or I can give you the spanking you so richly deserve for your pouting and put you to bed. Which will it be?"

I am still for a long minute. "I'll go" I say quietly.

I take the key off the hook and enter the playroom. How comforting it is now. How scary it was when I first saw it. Now it represents all the wonderful times we have shared in here, all the new sensations, the unreal feeling of …oh my gosh, submission. Christian says the only time I am a sub is in here. The thought shoots through me like lightning. There's no way I like to be a sub. No, I reject that.

I remove my clothes but I much prefer when Christian does it. I strip to my panties and kneel by the door, legs spread and head down. I wait, anticipation surging through me. I'm getting aroused. All the sensations this room evokes begin to dim my bad mood. I feel excited, safe, in another world.

Christian finally opens the door. "Very good, little one. I like you like that." His voice is silky soft. I can hear him moving around the room, collecting things. Finally he walks over to me. "You can stand up now."

He takes me to the bed. "Lay on the bed, face down" he commands softly. I do as I am told. He takes one of my hands and wraps a leather cuff around it. It has a soft, fur lining. I've never seen this before.

"It's new, just for you. Do you like it?" He murmurs.

"Yes" I say breathlessly. That familiar feeling of warmth and arousal washes over me. Anticipation and excitement over what Christian will do to me makes the muscles in my stomach contract and I can feel myself getting wetter between my thighs.

He smacks my backside. "Yes, what?"

"Yes, Sir."

"That's better." Oh my gosh. That puts me deeper in the 'space' that Christian calls my Sub demeanor.

He locks the cuff onto a chain that's attached to the bedpost. It allows my hands and arms to move fairly freely, at least to my upper torso. He cuffs the other hand the same way. Then he moves down to my feet and attaches another cuff, also with soft fur lining, to my ankle, snapping it to a hook. He does the same with the other ankle. I try to move my legs but they are firmly held apart by the spreader bar.

The he stands back to look at his handiwork." Ah, you are so beautiful Anastasia." He rubs his hand around my bottom. "This perfect little bottom just begs to be spanked. I long to make it pink and sexy."

Uh Oh. Is he going to spank me after all? Instead I hear him go back to the cabinet and open a few drawers. What is he doing? I hear the music come on and listen, trying to identify it. "

_Take it easy with me, please_

_Touch me gently like a summer evening breeze_

_Take your time, make it slow_

_Andante, Andante_

_Just let the feeling grow_

Make your fingers soft and light

Let your body be the velvet of the night

Touch my soul, you know how

Andante, Andante

Go slowly with me now

It's ABBA. I haven't heard that in so long. I don't think I ever listened to the words. Christian sits down on the bed beside me, stroking me softly down my back, my bottom, my legs. "You have a beautiful body, Anastasia. You don't properly appreciate what a perfect body you have. I guess I'll have to do it for you."

The song starts again. Christian always puts whatever music he chooses on replay in here. Then he startles me by singing along with it. His voice is beautiful. It blends smoothly with the sweet, female voice of ABBA. I melt. I love this beautiful, complicated man. He can be so romantic at times.

He leaves me once more and when he returns, he say softly "I have a present for you now. Don't come, Anastasia. I forbid it. I want you to wait." He snaps the crop across my bottom, not too hard but it stings. The tingle between my legs makes me clench my ass, again and again. I am trying not to orgasm. He strikes me again with the crop. The sensation is overpowering and I clench again. He slowly drags the crop down one leg and then the other. Then he strikes again. And again. I am awash in sensation. The ache between my legs is almost painful. If I come now, it will be overpowering.

Christian leans down and kisses each of my bottom cheeks, then strikes me with the crop once, twice, three times. I am writhing. My legs are taut, pulling against the confines of the spreader bar, my arms pulling on the chains attached to the bedpost.

"Christian, please" I moan.

"Please what, Anastasia?" He sounds amused.

"Please spank me." I can't believe I said that.

"Of course, sweetie." He rains six light swats with the crop across my bottom and my body contracts. He lightly brushes the crop down my back, across my stinging bottom, down my legs. The he crawls onto the bed and straddles me, entering me, slowly. The feeling is intense and I can feel an orgasm build. He is kneeling up. He starts moving in and out, swatting my backside first on one side and then on the other, very gently. It is over the top. I come in exquisite agony. Christian groans and freezes, answering my ecstasy as he pours his release into me.

After our shudders have ceased, Christian climbs off me and begins to unbuckle the cuffs on my legs, then releases my arms. I roll off the pillow, still panting. He leans over and massages my arms and then my legs. "Nice?" he asks.

"Oh, Christian, it was heavenly."

"Pain and pleasure" he smiles. "Both sides of one coin."

"I didn't know" I whisper in wonderment.

"I told you," he reminds me. "Come here Mrs. Grey. I want to hold you."

I lay in his arms and all the frustration of the last two days evaporates. I am here where I want to be, in his arms, thoroughly sated.

"Are you surprised you liked it?" he asks.

"Yes, I couldn't imagine that pain would turn me on."

"It always has, Anastasia. You just couldn't admit it."

"Why is it so different from a punishment spanking?" I ask, confused.

"It's the way it is given, not harsh, just sensual." He answers as if it should be obvious.

"I love you, Christian Grey, at least I love the romantic Christian Grey who makes steamy love to me."

"And I love you Mrs. Grey, more than you could ever imagine."

"Then may I have my car back?" I try to sound innocent.

Christian laughs a hearty laugh. "No, you may not, you little manipulator. And don't ask me again. You'll get it back when I say so," he says sternly.

And somehow it doesn't matter quite so much as I bask in the glow of our love in the comfort of this hideaway.

I am over my sulk and resigned to waiting until Christian decides I am safe to drive again. The week goes by quickly, both of us busy at work. We spend Saturday night with Elliot and Kate, having a delightful dinner and drinks in Christian's club high above Seattle.

"So how's the book business, Ana?" asks Kate. She looks radiant. She and Elliot must be getting along well. We need to have some girl time to catch up.

"Fine. I have another book going into publication. What's new with you two?"

Kate grins at Elliot. "Elliot has a new truck."

"Oh really?" says Christian. "What kind did you get?"

The two brothers engage in a spirited discussion about trucks. Yuck. Kate turns back to me and rolls her eyes. "And how's your R8, Ana? She says sarcastically.

I freeze. Kate looks at me quizzically. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, I got a speeding ticket" I say mournfully. Kate starts laughing. "Ana, the speed demon. Girl, you have changed."

"It's really not funny, Kate."

"Did Mr. Overprotective find out?" Kate giggles.

"Yes, Mr. Overprotective did find out" Christian says sternly. I didn't think he was listening. He seemed so engaged with Elliot in the debate about the benefits of different models of trucks.

"I thought you were having your own conversation and not eavesdropping on ours" I shoot back.

"And Ana's speeding ticket is not a laughing matter" Christian says pointedly to Kate.

"How fast were you going?" asks Elliot, humor written all over his face. I think just Christian saying it wasn't funny makes Elliot laugh.

"None of your business" I snap.

"I have to go to the ladies' room," announces Kate. "Ana, come with me."

Bless Kate. The boys get up as we leave. The Grey manners. They were certainly trained right.

"Ana, what happened? Christian is really mad about it. I can tell."

"Yeah, he didn't take it too well."

"Are you going to tell me what he did? You know, Ana, I look to you to find out what I'm getting myself into.

"Elliot is not like Christian. I don't think you have anything to worry about. But if you must know, he took my car away."

Kate gasps. "For ever?" She is stunned.

"I sure hope not. I'm working on getting it back."

"I told you he was a control freak the first time you brought him home" she laughs. "Actually I think it's kind of funny."

"You would" I scowl at her.

"Ana, we have to find a time to talk. Elliot is acting more like Christian all the time. I need advice again."

"Let's do that."

We return to the table and the talk drifts to the new house. Elliot says it will definitely be ready by the end of January. I'm anxious to move in. It will be the first house that is ours, not just Christian's. No memories, no ghosts of submissives.

It's Monday morning. When I arrive at the breakfast table, my keys are laying next to my plate, the car key to my R8 sticking out. So I have my car back, after only a week. I say nothing and neither does Christian. When we finish, I gather my coat and briefcase and call goodbye to him. Taylor is at the door waiting. We get in the elevator and he presses G for garage. He already knows I'm driving. What a strange world I live in. Neither Christian nor I mentioned the car all week. Nothing. I guess we won't.

Christian is already home when I get back from work. Mrs. Jones greets me in the hall as I head to the bedroom to change clothes. "Do you know where Christian is?" I ask.

"Mr. Grey is in his office. Will you be ready for dinner soon, Mrs. Grey?"

"Let me check with Christian."

I open the door to Christian's office and peek in. He is on the phone, his feet up on the desk, leaning back in his desk chair. His coat is off but he still has his suit pants and white shirt on, his tie loosened around his neck. What a gorgeous picture he makes. He looks up and smiles, waving me over. He takes his feet off the desk, sits up in his chair and pulls me onto his lap.

"Yes Ros. I think I should go. I have the relationship with him and I think it could facilitate the deal. …no, he has the agreement already…..I'm thinking about taking Ana….stable, married men appeal to their cultural bias toward family…..Ok, check it out and let me know."

He hangs up and kisses me. "Um, you taste good. Did you have a good day?"

"Mr. Grey, my book made it to the Times Best Seller list, number 10 today."

"Why Mrs. Grey, you are quite the publisher. I think you are ready to take control of Grey Publishing." He smiles his rare, wide, endearing smile.

"Christian, I love what I'm doing now. It's only been six months. Give me some time."

"Ok, but we need to start our mentoring sessions. I want to lay out how this is going to happen so you don't worry about it. Let's take some time tonight to start." I can tell he is excited about the prospect. Geez, he wants this so much more than I do. I finally have convinced my colleagues that I am just one of them. They are not as suspicious as they were in the beginning. Now Christian wants to rock the boat. Doesn't he ever just relax and be happy with the way things are?

"So what's this about going away? Where are you going?" I change the subject.

"I have to go to New York to close a deal. And I want you to go with me. It's a touchy situation because one of the owners is a company in Saudi Arabia. I have the edge because of our relationship with the other owners. But I think it's important to demonstrate that I am a fine, upstanding, happily married man. The Saudi's like that." He grins.

"I'd love to see New York." I smile. "You messed up my last chance to go." I smile at him.

"Yes, I messed up your chance to get raped and blackmailed." He grumbles.

"When are you going? I'll see if I can get off work."

Christian sighs, "Anastasia, you own the company. You have to start acting like it. What do you think Roach is going to do? Say no to you? And risk a call from me? I highly doubt it."

Everything is so clear in Christian's world. He rules it. People do what he says. He does whatever he wants. Christian commands. Everyone else jumps. It's just not me.

"Let's go eat. Gail is waiting for us. We can talk over dinner."

After dinner, Christian guides me into his office and sits me down across the desk. "Anastasia, listen carefully. The first thing we need to do is move most of the infrastructure functions to Grey House. You will need to keep one person in HR to respond to employees' immediate questions but we can manage payroll, benefits, recruitment and retention functions at corporate. I want to integrate the IT functions at corporate as well. We'll maintain a help desk at Grey Publishing but most of the IT functions can be handled remotely. The accounting department is marginal. I want to move the whole financial function to corporate. We have far more talented accountants and the financial functions of publishing are really fairly uncomplicated. I've looked at the financials and that should shave about a million four from the expense side. Are you following?"

My head is spinning. I don't have a clue what he's talking about. I sit there, looking at him confused.

"I told you I wouldn't interfere without telling you. That's why I'm telling you. I'm ready to make some moves. The overhead at Grey Publishing is too high to sustain. Profits have been marginal. Ana, it's the books you have championed that have done the best. I'm really proud of you. If you let me help you run the operations side, and if you take a leadership roll in publishing decisions, we can create a very strong company. I won't do anything without your consent. But I am itching to move. I want you to think about it."

"What will happen to all the employees when you close the departments?" I have become friends with them and they have families to support."

"We can absorb most of them in our other companies. But frankly, you have some dead weight that doesn't belong anywhere in the Grey organization. You won't have to do the firing. Our HR department will take care of all that and redeploy as many as we can. I want you to think about it. When you get comfortable, I want to start with finance. That's the first thing we need to get control of." He stares at me as if asking my permission.

"Ok, can you give me a few days to absorb it" I ask.

"Sure, and I want to explain each step to you before we do it so you'll know. Now, how about New York? We leave Wednesday."

Life with Christian is never dull. And to think, before I met him, my idea of fun was to curl up in the school library and read a book. And maybe go drinking with Kate and Jose.

Wednesday afternoon, we board Christian's plane for New York. I am getting used to this kind of service and I realize that, instead of being overwhelmed by the opulence, I am now able to enjoy the fact that we can fly this way. Wow. I am changing.

"I do love your plane," I say in wonderment. It's a hassle free way to fly."

Christian sighs briefly. "OUR plane" he corrects.

Will I ever get used to that part?

Christian is working on spreadsheets and contracts so I curl up to read a manuscript I am thinking about publishing. I remember the flight to our honeymoon when we spent most of our time in the bedroom at the back of the plane. Marriage does change everything, I muse.

Shortly before we land, Christian puts his papers down and looks at me pensively. "Anastasia, I want to tell you what to expect in New York. Come over here, baby." I crawl into his lap, my favorite place in the world.

"I am going to need you to pretend to be the perfect wife" he starts.

"What do you mean pretend? " I tease.

"Now be serious." He swats my leg playfully. "The people we will be meeting are very traditional, very religious. I am going to need you to be, well…..look kind of….um ….submissive."

I burst out laughing. It strikes me as funny. He used to have real,,…fundamental….submissives. Now he has me and he has to ask me to act submissive.

"Ana, I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you." He tries again but I am still laughing. Finally my giggling gets to him and he laughs too.

"Ok, we'll discuss this tonight when we get to the apartment. I can see you aren't in the proper mood now. I can think of something that will subdue you." He begins to kiss my neck, then bites my lower lip softly and kisses me deeply.

We arrive at La Guardia in the early evening and are met in the private jet lounge by our driver. We get in the black limousine and the uniformed chauffeur takes us to a gleaming building on the upper east side of Manhattan. It reminds me a bit of Escala, marble lobby and shiny gold elevators. We get in and Christian punches in a code. The elevator takes us to the top floor and we get off in a hallway with red carpet and white marble walls. Christian punches in another code and opens the door to a beautiful living room. He reaches down and picks me up. "Another threshold," he announces. "Welcome to your New York home."

A plump, jolly, round faced older woman comes running from the other room. "Mister Grey" she calls gaily, then stops cold, looking at me curiously. "Maria, this is my wife, Anastasia." He is beaming. He sets me down reluctantly. I can tell he likes this motherly looking woman. She looks Italian. "Oh my goodness, a Mrs. Grey." She says it almost reverently. "I'm so happy to meet you. It's about time Mr. Grey settled down with a good woman. I have been telling him he could have any girl he wants but he just smiles. Now I know why. He was hiding the best one for himself. And so beautiful. Mr. Grey, you did well." I like this warm woman.

"Thank you Maria. Can you find us something light to eat? We haven't had dinner."

"It's all ready, Mr. Grey. Taylor called to tell me when you would be arriving and I made something special. I'll have to talk to him very sternly. He didn't tell me there would be a Mrs. Grey coming too. Not to worry. I have plenty." She heads off to the kitchen to serve our dinner.

The doorbell rings and Christian opens it to let in the chauffer who brings our luggage. He leaves it at the door. "Will you be coming at 9?" Christian asks.

"Yes, Sir. I'm Louis Hanson. I'll be your chauffer for the three days. You just tell me what you want and I can do it."

"Thank you. I'll see you here at nine. I'll meet you in the lobby." Christian nods and the chauffer bows and leaves.

Christian picks up the two suitcases to carry them to the bedroom. I have never seen him pick up a suitcase in all the time we've been together. I start laughing. "What's so funny?" asks Christian, confused.

"I've never seen you pick up a suitcase." I giggle.

"I'm not helpless, Anastasia. Wait there" he orders sternly.

He drops the suitcases in the other room and comes back to me. "Now for the real baggage" he grins his wicked grin. "I'm not helpless with that either." He picks me up and carries me down a wide hall, turns into a large room and dumps me on the bed. Maria is watching from the kitchen door and laughs as we go by.

"I'll show you our apartment after dinner. Do you need the bathroom first?"

Yes, I need the bathroom. I go in and close the door. The bathroom is smaller than the one in Escala but that one is larger than some apartments. It is all dark marble counters and white marble walls and floors. There are two sinks. Why does Christian always have two sinks in his bathrooms when he never shared them?

Dinner is served in the small dining room. Maria has set a beautiful table with candles. "I would have bought flowers, Mr. Grey, but how was I to know you would come with a wife." She looks appreciatively at me again. She puts a steamy dish of chicken cacciatore in front of us with some spinach salad and Italian bread. Christian digs in. I am hungry and it tastes delicious.

"You haven't finished your dinner" Christian says firmly.

"Maria gave me too much. I can't eat such a large portion. I'm finished." I add the last in my most resolute voice.

"Ok, I'll let it go this time. Let's go to bed. We have an early day tomorrow."

We change, Christian into his pajama bottoms and me into my nightgown. We brush our teeth in the matching sinks. It is so normal. We are a real, married couple. Sometimes I still have to pinch myself. Christian picks me up again. "I love to have you in my arms" he nuzzles his nose in my hair. "I have total control. I love that." He lays me gently on the bed and climbs over me. It's a wonderful bed, huge, soft and the sheets must be Egyptian cotton.

Christian leans over me. "I love you Mrs. Grey." He leans with his head on his hand. "You are so many people, Ana. You are the sexiest woman I have ever met, and I have met a lot of them." I frown at him and he shrugs apologetically. "You are a brilliant editor. You are strong, sometimes I think you are stronger than me. You are so grounded, not greedy. And sometimes you are such a naughty little girl. I love the naughty little girl because I can punish you and make you behave. It's a wonderful, real life kind of control, not the fake control I used to have with submissives. I love all of you."

"Christian, you take my breath away. I never thought I was complicated. You're the man of many faces, Fifty Shades and not all of them are fucked up." I laugh. "You are my sensual, sexy partner. Your are my caring, protective husband, You are the CEO, ruling over your empire. You are the little boy with your toys, but your toys are full sized boats and planes and helicopters and cars. And you are my Dominant Christian. It was a lot of people to get used to."

"That's why we have to spend the rest of our lives together. It will take that long to explore all the sides of each other."

"I have a question." We are spooning now and the lights are off.

"What about?" He is getting sleepy already.

"Did you bring any of your subs here?"

"No, this is another first. But then everything is new because I have a wife now, not a sub."

"Ok." Somehow that is very comforting. I guess I am still jealous of his previous sexual partners.

The alarm goes off at 7:30 and I awake with a feeling of excitement. I'm in New York, the Big Apple. There's so much to see, so much to do. I lean over and kiss Christian, who is waking up more slowly. He rubs his eyes in a childlike gesture. He is not just beautiful but cute too. "So what happens today?" I ask

"Good morning to you too Mrs. Grey." He smiles. "Sawyer will be here at 8:30 to take you to see New York" he starts.

"What? I have to have a babysitter here too? I thought we were coming alone for once. I was looking forward to having some time to myself while you're in meetings. There isn't any kidnapper here. No one knows who I am." I am wound up. This spoils all my plans for exploring New York. I am sitting up in bed now, my body rigid, challenging.

"Stop right now, Anastasia. Don't get yourself all worked up. You don't know New York. This is me, Christian. Don't you know me well enough by now to know that I wasn't about to let you loose on New York City by yourself."

I throw myself back down on the bed in a huff. "Watch it, Mrs. Grey. You are walking a fine line here. Don't step over it or you'll be sorry." He sits up and stares down at me, daring me to continue my temper tantrum. After a moment of silence, he continues. " Sawyer used to be stationed in New York when he was in the FBI. That's why he came along. He knows the city well and will take you anywhere you want to go."

"You have no rational excuse for having me tailed in New York. I am just another tourist, one of probably a million." I punch the pillow in anger.

"This is not up for debate, Anastasia." He has his serious, firm countenance on now. "You will stop arguing about this, right now. You will behave today and stay with Sawyer. Is that clear?"

"Very!" I say in a huff.

"Little one, if you need an attitude adjustment, I am more than happy to accommodate." He stares at me firmly.

I never win these arguments. I sigh. I start to get up to go to the bathroom but Christian stops me, a hand on my arm. "Come back here." He folds me in his arms but I am still angry. My body is stiff. Christian looks quizzically, studying me. I can't look in his eyes.

"I wish you wouldn't do this Anastasia." Christian looks at me for a long minute, staring at me as if he is looking right through me. I can feel his eyes piercing through me. What a terrible way to start the day in wonderful New York City.

"Anastasia, I won't tolerate your rebellion. We have been through this so many times before. When will you accept the fact that you are the wife of a prominent man? Your life cannot be the same as it was when you were a college girl. We can't go through the rest of our lives fighting about this every time you get the urge to be free from security, from all rules." He pauses, silent for a minute, waiting for my response.

"I'll stop" I acquiesce. I don't want to spend the day fighting.

"Good, because if you do plan to continue, you will end up spending the day in the apartment." He turns me around to face him. "I want your promise that you'll stay with Sawyer and not give him any trouble."

"I promise," I whisper.

"Look at me and say that," he demands.

I look up into his stern face. "I promise."

He leans down and kisses me gently. "Let's get in the shower," he says more kindly.

Sawyer arrives at 8:30 while we are just finishing breakfast in the beautiful, wood paneled dining room.

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey" he acknowledges. Christian rises. "Sawyer, Mrs. Grey wants to see New York," he smiles. "Mrs. Grey, what exactly would you like to see?"

I rattle off my list. It includes the Metropolitan Museum, Central Park, the Bowery, Times Square. Christian laughs. "You only have about six hours, Anastasia. Don't kill yourself."

He turns to Sawyer. "Mrs. Grey has promised to behave today and to stay with you. She can do anything she likes unless it is a safety risk. You will make that call."

He turns back to me "Sawyer was hesitant to escort you today, Anastasia, given your history." He raises his eyebrows and looks at me accusingly. "I have promised him that you will cooperate with all security issues. We have a deal, don't we?"

Choose your battles. My mom's words come back to me. I know I am dangerously close to spending the day in the apartment. It's not worth my snit. I smile up at Sawyer. "Yes, we have a deal. I'll be right with you Sawyer. Just give me a minute and I'll be ready." I see Sawyer's shoulders relax. I guess I do give poor Taylor and Sawyer ulcers.

"Good bye Christian. Have a great day of meetings." We kiss warmly at the door. Sawyer stands in the hall waiting for me. "Behave," he says sternly.

I need to make some adjustment to our roles if I am to have a good time. I might as well be a friend to Sawyer. I decide to make Sawyer my companion instead of just my guard. We get to the lobby and I motion to Sawyer to follow me to a secluded sitting area at the side of the lobby.

"Sawyer," I start. "I understand you were reluctant to accompany me today" He looks mortified. "Don't worry. I understand. I haven't been the most reliable charge." I smile at him. "But I have some conditions, do you understand?" He looks reluctant, like I'm am alien who is off the reservation.

"Here are the rules. I will call you Luke. You will call me Ana." His eyes widen and I pause. "We will act like friends just sightseeing in New York. That means you will not call me ma'am, you will not call Christian for permission every time we decide to do something. You will walk next to me, not behind me. We will decide together what to do next. Will you agree to all that?"

"Mrs. Grey, are you trying to get me fired?" He looks concerned.

"No Sawyer, I am trying to make sure we have an uneventful day and both of us avoid Mr. Grey's ire. I don't know about you, but angry Christian Grey is not something I enjoy." He smiles slightly.

"We don't have to tell him anything. I won't say a thing about our arrangement if you don't. We'll spend a happy day and I won't cause you any trouble."

"Are you bargaining with me Mrs. Grey?"

"Absolutely, Luke Sawyer." I smile.

"And you won't try to elude me?" I can tell he's considering my plan.

"I promise. I'll stick to you like glue."

"Ok, it's a deal."

"Wonderful, Luke. We need to get you out of that suit? Where are your clothes?"

"In the apartment." He looks surprised I would ask. When he sees my confusion, he adds "There is a separate staff annex," he explains.

"Well we have to wait until Christian leaves."

"Mrs. Grey. I have to tell Mr. Grey of this new ….arrangement." He looks uncomfortable.

I sigh. Nothing ever changes. Why didn't Christian bring Sullivan, my female security guard? I answer my own question. He trusts Sawyer. He feels as comfortable with him as he does with Taylor. Reluctantly, we head for the elevator.

Christian is at the door, ready to leave for his meeting. He looks surprised to see us. "Back so soon?" he asks suspiciously.

"Mrs. Grey has proposed a new …uh…arrangement. I insisted we clear it with you, Sir." He looks at me, expecting me to explain the idea.

"Christian, I don't want a suit following me everywhere. It's foreign to me and I don't want to spoil my sightseeing making sure he is behind me."

"You don't have to do that, Anastasia. Sawyer is trained to make sure you're safe. It's his responsibility."

I sigh impatiently. "I want Sawyer to act like a friend, not a security guard. I think that just draws attention to us. If he has to follow me, I want him to dress like a tourist and stay next to me, not behind me. I will refer to him as Luke and I'm sure he needs your permission to call me Ana. Just while we're in New York," I add hastily.

I want to blend." I cross my arms for emphasis.

"Blend?" repeats Christian, obviously appalled by the idea. He has never 'blended' anywhere, in his life.

"Yes, and in return, I will behave myself, as you so delicately put it."

"Anastasia, don't make this sound like a threat because I expect you to behave yourself no matter what I decide. There will be consequences you don't." Does he have to embarrass me in front of Sawyer? It's probably nothing Sawyer doesn't already know, but really?

"Understood," I answer in a firm voice. "Please, Christian, make this easier for me. I've never been to New York and I want to have fun. It was terrible in London when Taylor and the whole contingency followed me everywhere. You said you would think about some alterations to the security issue."

He looks at me and then at Sawyer. "Are you Ok with this, Luke?"

"Mr. Grey, if it results in Mrs. Grey's cooperation, I am willing to do just about anything."

A quick smile crosses Christian's lips but he returns to his stern look in an instant. "Alright, I accept your terms. But don't abuse this, Anastasia. Is that clear?"

"Perfectly" I answer. "Luke, go get into something more appropriate for a tourist."

"Yes, ma'am" he says smiling.

Christian and I are alone by the door, staring at each other warily. "You know this is not my usual protocol. I certainly hope you don't abuse this."

"I won't. I promise." I am delighted at the thought of having a relatively normal day sightseeing in glorious New York.

Sawyer returns wearing Dockers and a pullover shirt. He looks very much like a tourist. This is going to be fun.

"I'll go down with you. It's almost time to meet my driver." Christian looks concerned as he looks at Sawyer and I, dressed in our sightseeing clothes. I wonder what he is thinking, but he says nothing as we ride down in the elevator.

His chauffer is waiting in the lobby. He nods to him and then takes my chin in his hand and lifts my face to kiss me. It is a soft, lingering kiss. He leans over and whispers calmly but sternly in my ear. "Anastasia, you better behave or you will find yourself standing up to eat your meals for a week. Understood?"

I turn his face and stand on my tiptoes so I can whisper in his ear. "Yes, Sir." I emphasize the 'sir' smiling impishly at him.

Christian smiles knowingly at me and walks toward the door. He is dressed in his charcoal grey suit with a white shirt and red tie. He carries his black, leather briefcase. He is gorgeous. My man. My CEO. He so looks the part. I turn to Sawyer. "Let's see New York."


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you again for all the feedback. It keeps me wanting to post more of the chapters I've written. I wrote all 12 before I got up the nerve to post them. I love sharing Christian and Ana with you. I had a lot of fun imagining what their lives would have been after the books ended. Keep letting me know what you think. I have two busy days ahead so you'll need to wait a few days before the next chapters.

Chapter 7

The day in New York turns out to be more fun than I even imagined. Sawyer seems more relaxed than I've ever seen him. He is still on alert but I notice that he is watching the crowds and the people around me more than he is watching me. It strikes me that he has probably been more afraid of me than of the threats around me. I am the one who disappears.

We are sitting on a ledge in Seaport South. I'm having a beer and a hot dog from one of the many vendors on the wide walkway. Sawyer won't drink because he's on duty but he is enjoying a hot dog. The air is crisp, but the sun is out and the blue ocean calm. Old schooners for tourists to explore look out of place in the modern environment.

Sawyer scans the crowd but doesn't seem as intense as he does in Seattle. "So, Luke, are you enjoying yourself now that you don't have to worry about me eluding you?" He looks down at me with an expression of surprise. "It is a welcome change, m." He catches himself and doesn't finish the 'ma'am.'

"Are you ever going to call me 'Ana' today? Because this is my vacation and I would really rather not think of you as a prison guard."

"Is that the way you feel about the security team?" He looks surprised.

"Yes, pretty much" I assure him. "Or a baby sitter. I wasn't raised in a world like the one I live in now. Before I married Christian, I was just an ordinary girl, doing what I wanted and going where I wanted…when I wanted. It's been a difficult adjustment for me. I'm sorry it has caused you and Taylor so many problems."

"It's our job…Ana." Wow, he said my name. We're making progress. "I love what I do and Mr. Grey is a good boss."

"So he doesn't blame you when you loose me?"

"No, I think you bare the brunt of his anger when that happens. He knows you are very…uh…adept at getting away from us."

"So you were FBI?"

"Yes, for about eight years."

"Why did you quit?"

"Politics and red tape. I loved the work but the bureaucracy was stifling. I don't have any of that with Mr. Grey. He's a good boss. I get to do what I do best without all the games of a big organization."

I think about this for a while. The Grey empire is a big organization but I don't think Christian puts up with a lot of politics and games. I always thought he was a tyrant with his staff. I can remember being very glad I didn't work for him with his clipped directions and his trigger temper. Maybe people like Taylor and Sawyer like that. They are ex military and ex FBI. So is Ryan I remember Christian saying.

"So you like Christian as a boss," I muse. "Then the frustrating part of your work must be trying to keep tabs on me."

"You are challenging at times," he admits. "And Mr. Grey is quite protective of you."

"I've noticed" I say ruefully. "Can I ask you a question?" I'm not sure he will answer but it's worth a try.

"I think that's what you have been doing."

"Does Christian make you call him every time I deviate from his proscribed plan? Or do you just do that as part of your job?" I've always wondered what his orders were.

"Mr. Grey is quite specific about that. He wants to know any change of plans or any risks we have not prepared for."

"Oh" I say, somewhat dejected. 'Quite specific' is it? I guess I'm not going to get around that one.

"Well, shall we go on to Times Square? I want to ride the subway. Can you just tell the driver to meet us there?"

"Ana, Mr. Grey does not want you riding the subway."

I bristle. "What exactly are your orders today, Luke? This is what makes me so mad. Christian doesn't tell me what I'm forbidden to do. He just tells you and Taylor."

"You'll need to take that up with Mr. Grey. If you want to ride the subway, I'll have to call for permission," he says firmly.

"Ok, call if you must." I sigh with resignation.

Sawyer pulls out his phone and presses a speed dial. "Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey wants to ride the subway and I know you are not in agreement with that. She has asked that I call you….yes, Sir, she has ….understood." He hands the phone to me.

"Anastasia, you are not riding the subway. It's too dangerous. I've provided a car for you. Use it." It's his authoritative voice and he sounds impatient. We must have interrupted his business.

"Luke is with me. I promise to stay close to him, Christian. Millions of people ride the subway every day… " He interrupts my argument. "I said no. End of discussion. Put Sawyer on." Damn him. I hand the phone back to Sawyer.

"Yes, Sir?...No, that won't be a problem…I understand." He hangs up.

"See what I mean? This is exactly what makes me want to give you guys the slip and do what I want to do." I am furious.

"We do still have an agreement, don't we Ana?" He knows how to get to me. _Now he calls me 'Ana.'_

"Yes, I won't go back on my word. I don't blame you but I am furious with my husband." I look up at him and he is smiling. "You enjoy our tumultuous relationship, don't you?" I ask defiantly.

"It is quite interesting at time" he says in his understated way.

The rest of the day is uneventful. At least Luke doesn't have to call Christian for permission to do something I want to do. We have seen Times Square, the 9/11 memorial, the bowery, Union Square, the Statue of Liberty. We return to the apartment only ten minuets later than Christian has decreed but he has already called Sawyer twice.

Sawyer has disappeared, presumably to the staff annex. "So, did you have a good day? What did you get to see?"

"I'm sure you already know everything we did," I pout.

"Careful, little one. I don't like your attitude." He gives me his stern look. "Didn't you have a fun day with 'Luke?' He emphasizes the word 'Luke.'

I don't want to fight. "Yes, we had a fun day" I assure him.

"Good, let's take a shower. We have to be at dinner at seven."

We shower together and having Christian bathe me improves my mood. I am wearing a new dress, a red, silk sheathe dress with a wide, black belt. I am putting in my diamond earrings when Christian comes up behind me and puts his arms around me.

"Do you remember how I want you to act tonight?" he asks seductively.

"Yes, you want me to be your submissive" I answer in my sexiest voice.

"And do you need some incentive before we leave to make sure you are in the right space?" he asks?

"No, I'll behave." I don't want any '_incentive_.'

"Oh, I think it would be a good idea." He gently pulls me to the bed, sits down and easily drapes me over his knee. How does he do that so gracefully and swiftly that it doesn't register until I am face down, pinned across his knee?

He doesn't pull up my dress but begins rubbing my back and my bottom lightly over it. "Mrs. Grey, who is your master" he asks softly.

"You are" I reply. I'm getting all hot and I don't want to make my panties wet before we even leave the apartment.

"And what does your husband want you to do tonight?"

"To act submissive."

"And what will happen if you are disrespectful or disobedient in the least?"

"I'll get a spanking." Gad, I hate even saying the word never mind admitting that's what he can do to me.

"That's right. This dinner means a lot to me. It's a big business deal. I'm counting on you. You won't let me down, will you."

I can feel myself going into the space, the unseen submissive cloak around me. "No, Sir. I won't let you down," I promise as my breathing increases.

He gives me ten swift spanks over my dress so it doesn't hurt. I know he is just making sure I understand his warning. "I'm going to let you up now. We don't have time to take care of your…arousal. But I promise to rectify that when we get home. Alright?'

"Yes, Sir. I'll look forward to that."

He lets me up and smoothes the skirt of my dress down, and then kisses the top of my head. "You look positively beautiful. I will be so proud to show you off." I look up at him, my gorgeous husband, and want to say that he is the beautiful one but I don't want to ruin the moment, or his sensual gaze. He looks stunning in black suit and tie.

"I have something for you," he murmurs. "Close your eyes." I close them and can feel him putting something around my neck. "OK, open." I open my eyes and feel the necklace. "Go look," he says, motioning to the bathroom.

I look in the mirror and see the most beautiful ruby and diamond necklace I have ever seen. I can't help smiling. Did I ever see myself wearing something this gorgeous. "Do you like it?" he asks, smiling at me in the mirror.

"Christian, it's lovely. You knew I was wearing a red dress, didn't you?"

"Of course. I pay attention to everything my wife does. And I want you to look like a proper Mrs. Grey tonight."

"Thank you, Christian." I reach up and pull his head down so I can kiss him.

When we arrive, I discover that we are at the French embassy. Holy cow, an embassy. Why didn't Christian tell me? It is sumptuous. It reminds me of Versailles but not as magnificent. We are met by a liveried, what, butler? I have no idea what you call them, and escorted into a huge reception room. There are only three other men there, one in the traditional dress of the Mideast, the other two in western suits. Christian greets them warmly in French and introduces me. I have no idea what he said and I suddenly feel overwhelmed, so out of my league. The old feeling of not fitting in Christian's world overcomes me. I stammer a 'pleased to meet you.'

Christian and the men exchange pleasantries I assume but it is all in French. Is the whole dinner going to be in French? That will be uncomfortable. The Ambassador escorts us to a stunning dining room that is smaller than I expected. It is all mirrored walls and expensive looking urns on expensive looking side tables. A beautifully laid table for six sits in the middle of the room.

When we sit down, Christian announces in English "My wife, Anastasia, does not speak French. Would you mind speaking English tonight Mr. Ambassador? He says with all the grace one would expect of a diplomat.

"Mai out" the ambassador smiles and looks to the other two for approval. Both nod. Wine and appetizers are served. I have no idea what I'm eating but it tastes good.

The other Frenchman, apparently one of the owners of the company, addresses me. "Mrs. Grey, I understand this is your first trip to New York. Are you enjoying the sights?"

"Oh, yes. I had a wonderful day. It's an amazing city. "

Christian slips back into French, addressing the men. I don't understand what he is saying but I get the English word 'subway.' The three men smile knowingly and look approvingly at Christian. The stinker. He is telling them he refused to let me ride the subway. It's his way of telling them he is the boss of the family. Well, I agreed to this and, for some, reason, I find it kind of hot.

The subject turns to cars and Christian is trying not to admit he owns mostly German cars. They discuss the state of American car manufacturers and the ambassador asks Christian directly what he drives. Christian looks slightly embarrassed but admits he drives an Audi R8. "That's a good car," the other Frenchman admits. "I drove one once and it has a lot of power."

Christian slips into French again and looks down at me paternally midway through his discourse. The three men smile sympathetically at me and suddenly I know he is telling them about my ticket. What a traitor. Isn't he carrying this too far? The Saudi seems especially pleased. He reverts to English. "Mrs. Grey, you must be careful with that kind of car. But I'm sure you are more cautious after losing your driving privileges for a while." He told them that too, the turncoat. I blush, bright red I'm sure. Change the subject, Ana, before he tells them he spanks you.

I have been in your country, Mr. Ambassador. Christian and I spent part of our honeymoon in France."

"Wonderful, and how did you like France?"

"It's a beautiful country. And seeing the historical places was incredible after just reading about them for so many years."

"You know a lot about French history?" he asks.

"Yes, Sir. A fair amount. I am a publisher so I read a lot of books for my work. I've read many on French history." I thought the Sir was a nice touch. Maybe that will dissuade Christian from telling any more stories about my misbehavior.

"Anastasia is the most well read person I know" Christian says proudly. This is a better turn to the conversation, I think.

The rest of the dinner is uneventful. I am included in very little of the conversation as it is mostly about the business. But it seems cordial and Christian seems pleased.

As soon as we get in the limousine, Christian kisses me ardently. "You were wonderful, Ana. I knew you would be an asset to my business deals. I think I will take you on all of them. They liked you a lot, I could tell." He beams his approval.

"Considering that I felt totally over my head, that is a nice compliment, Christian."

"I mean it," he says firmly.

"Did you have to tell them about my ticket. Damn, that was really embarrassing."

"You know I did that on purpose. I wanted them to know I am head of my household. It impressed the Saudi."

"Well, it didn't impress me" I sulk.

"Ana, you handled it very well. And they also know that you are bright, well read and a professional in your own right. That makes my domination even more impressive."

The next day, Luke and I do the museums in the morning. It's very comfortable now, almost like we are friends enjoying the city. I am surprised to find that Luke knows a great deal about art. "Several years in New York will do that to you, Ana" he says.

Christian can join me at noon and we have the rest of the day together. Sawyer is going to look up some old friends. "So, did you buy the company" I ask?

"Not yet, but we have a deal. The transaction won't take place until all the due diligence is completed. But it was a very successful negotiation." He smiles at me happily. Well, one more company to run. Will he ever get enough?

"They congratulated me on having such a beautiful, intelligent wife. I think the words 'well behaved' also entered the conversation." He looks apologetically at me. "It didn't hurt in the negotiations. In some cultures, if a man can't handle his wife, he isn't considered a fit candidate to do business with."

"I'm so glad I could be of some value. What is a submissive worth, anyway?" I am only partly teasing.

"A very good one is invaluable," he teases back but I think he is only partly teasing too.

The new house is almost ready. I have managed a professional, cordial relationship with Gia, since she no longer flirts with Christian, but mostly because I have grown to respect her talent. She has managed to combine my love of warm and comfortable with Christian's bent for ultra modern and sterile. The furnishings in the new house reflect both of our tastes without sacrificing beauty and elegance.

Christian has insisted that everything be new, nothing is to be moved from Escala. In addition to the furniture, Mrs. Jones was given the freedom to equip the entire kitchen. Taylor was allowed to design his security room/office and both of them met with Gia to design and furnish their quarters over the five-stall garage.

Christian has deemed that we will spend Monday through Thursday at Escala because it is closer to our work, and then move to the new house Friday through Sunday night. He doesn't want to worry about packing or moving anything so all new clothes were bought for our weekend hideaway, though most of them were casual.

A swimming pool is being installed and a helicopter pad constructed. Christian wants to be able to land Charlie Tango at the house. The boathouse and dock are almost complete. The Grace will be moving here to moor within walking distance of the house. A guest house and a house for staff are also close to completion. Christian has hired a couple to take care of the house. It is too large for Mrs. Jones and a part time cleaning lady and laundress like we have at Escala. The staff house will be theirs and will have extra rooms for security when we are in residence on the weekends.

The whole process has been less difficult than I had feared. Christian was true to his word in letting me make the decisions about the design of the house and the furnishing. He wants it to be what I want. But in reality, we made the decisions together. We would pour over Gia's suggestions and honestly express our preferences, surprisingly finding that we liked the same things. And I didn't want to create a home that my husband wasn't comfortable in.

I was thrilled to see yet another side of Christian. He is so at peace when he is making decisions. I, on the other hand, am most anxious when I am giving orders and making decisions. It bodes ill, I think, for my ever being able to run Grey Publishing. I try not to think about that looming problem because it makes my head hurt.

Finally, we are going to spend our first weekend at our new home. My car will stay at Escala so Taylor picks me up at work on Friday. Christian is in the back seat waiting for me to slide in.

"Hi, baby." He pulls me close to kiss me. "How was your day?"

I smile and fasten my seatbelt. "Fine. Yours?"

"The team is close to completing the plan for Grey Publishing. We should talk about that this weekend." He smiles an encouraging smile and that stab of trepidation courses through me.

"Do we have to ruin our first weekend at our new home with work?" I ask a bit petulantly.

"Not if you don't want to. But you can't put it off much longer. I usually don't take this long to restructure a company I buy. There must be a personal impediment holding me back," he teases.

I ignore him. "So what are we going to name our new home? We can't keep calling it 'our new home' forever." Diversion, always a useful strategy.

"I've been thinking about that and I like 'Steele Plantation.' What do you think?"

"Too short" I quip. "How about Grey Plantation?"

"Used" he retorts.

"Not with 'plantation'" I argue.

"We'll think about it. For now, I want to just enjoy our first weekend in the first house that is OURS." His loving look melts me and we ride the rest of the way quietly, both of us deep in thought.

Taylor stops at the top of the circular driveway in front of the beautiful porch with its recessed double doors. Christian punches in a code and opens both doors wide, then picks me up. "One more threshold, Mrs. Grey." He kisses the top of my head and carries me through the door.

Mrs. Jones appears from the kitchen. She has offered to help us get settled and make dinner before taking the weekend off. "Welcome to your new home, Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey" she says cheerfully. "I've planned to serve your dinner on the patio if that's OK with you."

"That would be wonderful, Gail" says Christian. "Give us about 15 minutes to freshen up."

The new patio furniture is beautiful in brown, beige and white tones. Mrs. Jones has flowers on the table with candles on either side. It compliments the stone floor and brick pillars. It looks very romantic, overlooking the sound and the meadow behind the house. Christian has chosen some wine from his new wine cellar, which is really a cellar in this house, as opposed to the wood lined closet at Escala.

Christian pours the wine and holds up his glass. "Mrs. Grey, you have made a beautiful home for us. A toast to us, to filling this home with little ones some day and to spending our lives loving each other in this beautiful place."

My eyes well with tears. "Salud" is all I can manage. My throat is shut tight as I try to choke back my tears. Christian can be so romantic and sweet sometimes. "Sweet?" I never thought I would say that about Christian Grey. And children. He wants children. My heart is singing.

Christian has to work in the morning on Saturday so I decide to explore the grounds. I think we have something like 20 acres but it is mostly woods. I stick my head in Christian's office. He is in his usual position, feet on the desk, chair tilted back, reading spreadsheets and contracts. "Hi sweetie" I call. I'm going for a walk."

"I wish I could go with you but I need to finish some work so we can have time together later." He gives me his bedroom eyes look.

"Mr. Grey, I will hold you to that promise I see in your eyes."

His expression changes to serious in a nanosecond. "Don't go too far and stay out of the woods. We don't know the area yet and I don't want you getting lost." He frowns. "Maybe you should wait until I can go with you."

"Christian, I 'm going for a walk, for heaven's sake, on our own property. Relax and get your work done so we can play. Don't you want to continue christening our new house?"

"Oh, baby, I'd love nothing better. Just think of all the rooms and surfaces we have added to our list. He leers at me. "I want to ravish you." I smile at him. That sounds delicious. "OK, go, just be careful." I kiss him lightly on the lips. "No point in getting you excited." I tease.

I head off toward the meadow, enjoying the beautiful day. The grass is tall and waves gently in the wind. I walk toward the ocean and thrill at the smell of the salt water and the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. This is heaven. It's hard to believe I'm not dreaming. This is my home, this beautiful place. I sit down in the sand and tuck my arms around my knees. So much has happened to me in seven months. I feel like I've lived a lifetime. How different my life would have turned out if I hadn't met Christian, if we hadn't fallen in love. Fate is such a strange thing.

I am lost in thought when I sense someone behind me. "A penny for your thoughts, little one." Christian sits down next to me and crosses his legs. He has jeans and a black shirt on, and his boat shoes. His hair is blowing in the gentle breeze and he looks gorgeous.

"I was thinking how fate brought us together. With all the millions of people just in the state of Washington, how did we meet? Did the universe plan this all along?"

"I think about that often, but mostly about how dreadful it would have been if we hadn't met. I used to get panic attacks thinking about never having found you, or losing you."

"Do you still get panic attacks?" The thought of Christian having panic attacks makes me sad. He experienced such terrible thoughts, such agonizing nightmares for most of his life. I just want to make all that heartache go away.

"Not so much anymore, only when you disappear without your security." He says this without recrimination. It is just a fact of his existence.

"I'm sorry Christian. I really don't want to worry you. Grace once told me that you are overprotective of me because you felt guilty for not protecting your mother. It makes sense. You loved her and she went away. When you fell in love with me, the fear that you would lose another person you loved came back."

"John has made similar observations. It's hard to know. I was so young when it all happened. I see that through a child's eyes."

"But that same child's feelings stayed with you until I came along. You held everyone at arms length for so long. I'm glad you have put that to rest."

"So am I. You are the one who did that for me, Ana. You gave me, well, …you gave me back myself, the person I wanted to be but didn't know how."

"Does our new arrangement make you feel more secure?"

"You know it does. Haven't you noticed how much more at peace I am? I am learning to be who I really am. I have a dominant, controlling personality but I don't hide behind it anymore. I control it rather than it controlling me. It think it has made me even more effective at work."

"I don't know how you could be any more successful than you have already been. Geez, Christian, I don't even know where you could go from here."

"Oh, there's lots more to do. I have plans that are years into the future and I can make them all happen. I just know how. I don't even know why I know how, but I do. It's very satisfying."

'Christian, you are so competent in so many things. Have you at least begun to give yourself credit for the brilliant, talented, competent person you are?"

He smiles a knowing smile at me. "My greatest accomplishment was winning you, and molding you into the person you were meant to be. That is more satisfying than all the companies I have fixed. It was the most challenging too." His grin is infectious.

"So just how was I so challenging? I was scared to death of you at first, then terrified that you were a crazy, sadistic freak. I though I was going to pass out the first time you held my hand. You bossed me around, threatened to punish me all the time, bought me expensive things I didn't need and took me to grand places in helicopters and boats. I felt like I didn't belong in your world. And I think I was pretty compliant back then."

"Baby, you have a distorted memory. You defied me in every way possible. I wasn't used to that. I was trying to turn you into a sub and you thwarted it at every turn."

"How did I thwart it? Thwart, that's a weird word to say, isn't it? And anyway, you could have gone shopping at Subs R Us for a ready made sub the way you used to do. I've always wondered why you chose innocent little me to drag into your Red Room of Pain." I look up at him in my most innocent, little girl look.

"Because I didn't realize that behind that innocent little girl look" he glares in his fake stern way, "was a woman of steel."

"My, my, and I thought you prided yourself on always knowing what makes people tick. Didn't you tell me that when I interviewed you? What happened to your Christian mind reading genius?" I love to tease Christian and I cherish these times of light sparring. There was a time when Christian couldn't tolerate teasing of any kind. The wall he had put up between him and the world couldn't bear the intimacy.

"Obviously I was blinded by your beauty." He grins at me, laughter in his eyes. "I thought you were a natural sub who just didn't know it yet. That was tremendously appealing to me, training a sub from the crib up, so to speak. Your innocence was a turn on." He stares at me seriously for a moment. "But you know, baby, I was half right. You love being in a submissive space, just not all the time. What I didn't expect was the many sides of Ana Steele. I'm still exploring all the shades of my lovely wife."

"And what have you found in your exploring?" Sometimes I think Christian knows me better than I know myself.

"Well, let's see. My Ana is a highly intelligent, grounded, competent, stubborn woman who has a subtle, yet steely, way of managing the world around her, usually without anyone knowing they are being manipulated." He looks challengingly at me but with a seductive grin.

His expression changes. "My Anastasia is a reckless, brave, gun toting woman who has no regard for her own safety. She is the innocent virgin who willingly entered into a strange and dangerous relationship with absolutely no idea of what she was getting into." His look is stern and forbidding as he says this. "If you were my daughter and you did something so reckless, I would give you the spanking of your life and lock you in your room." I can't help grinning at his paternal sentiments. He is going to make a very strict father if we ever have a girl.

As if mirroring my thoughts, his eyes change again. "My "little one" is a very naughty little girl who stubbornly wants her own way and refuses to say she will obey in her wedding vows, then proceeds to prove she can disobey and defy her husband at will. And because she is a wily little girl, she manipulates her loving husband into promising never to punish her…at least until he comes to his senses." He points his long index finger at me, shaking his head as he tsks tsks.

"Let's see, my baby is the submissive side of Anastasia. She revels in the submissive space of the playroom. She feels all warm and cared for and secure in the space. She is able to let go of all the things society says she should be. She goes deep inside to find the place where she can let go of all control and just feel." His whole demeanor is sensuous; his eyes burn with the intensity that I know from the playroom.

He pauses to shift gears and his face lights up in delight. "And then there's my wife, Mrs. Grey, who patiently brought me into the light and introduced me to a world I thought I could never belong to. Mrs. Grey is the beautiful and charming woman I am proud to take on my arm to charity balls. And she is the sensuous, sexy partner who is insatiable in bed, or on any other surface."

I feel like I'm in a trance. Hearing Christian talk about me like this is heady. He knows me so well, all the different sides of me.

"Christian, that was beautiful. Since I met you, I have felt torn apart, not knowing who I am. I used to be so uncomplicated, just Ana, the bookworm. You brought out so many parts of me I didn't know existed and it was confusing. Hearing you talk about me like this makes me feel …well….whole again. It makes me feel like it's OK, normal to have many different people inside me."

"Baby, you don't have many different people inside you. They are all part of the rich personality that is you. They are what makes you, you. You are on the path to learning to accept them all. You only have one more side to embrace and then I think you will be at peace with all the flavors of Anastasia."

I am intrigued. He has dissected me like the pig in biology class. It's almost uncomfortable that he knows me this well. I need to catch up.

"And what is that part?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes, I might as well. It sounds like you are going to take me there whether I know it or not" I say sardonically.

He ignores my sarcastic tone. "You need to embrace your submissive side when you are punished. You fight it. The two times you should be submissive are in the playroom and when you are being punished. You still hang on to the idea that it is wrong for your husband to punish you. You think it's your duty to fight it, to be angry and to get revenge or to pout. You will be a lot happier when you conquer that hurdle."

Hm. This is a lot to think about. Being in the submissive space when he is spanking me? Can I really do that?

"Yes, you can." There he goes again, reading my mind.

"The best thing we ever did was to amend our relationship after I gave in on the marriage vows. I feel in control again and that is a huge weight off me. I can enjoy all the different sides of Anastasia Grey and I can keep her safe. It's a relief. But you still have not really accepted the reality of it. When you do, any punishments you earn will be over much quicker and we can get back to our loving relationship faster." He is looking at me intently, seeing through me, waiting for my reaction.

"I know that intellectually but when it happens I can't help myself, I get mad."

"Perhaps I can give you some additional incentive to get you in the right space." He grins at me with a slightly threatening look.

"Shall we delve into your Fifty Shades now?" I need to change the subject. All this attention on me is getting uncomfortable.

"Sure. I have even more sides than you do, Anastasia. This could take some time. Shall we repair to our boudoir to continue this discussion?" He unfolds himself in that graceful way he has and pulls me up by the hand. I take one last look at the churning ocean and feel a pang of sadness that this intimate interlude in the sand is over.

We stop in the kitchen and Christian opens a bottle of wine. "We need to celebrate our new home," he says with delight.

"We did that last night," I remind him.

"And we are doing it again today. We haven't done that yet." His eyes dance in merriment. "Come, bring your wine." He leads me into our new, beautiful bedroom.

The bedroom is huge. White walls and light wood furniture are accented by the blues and greens of the ocean. The bed is massive, a California king. There is a sitting area with a couch and chairs in light blue fabric. A spa sits outside the glass doors on a private balcony.

Christian takes my wine glass and sits it on the bedside table. "Arms up" he commands. He pulls my shirt over my head, and then reaches for the button on my jeans. When I am naked, he sits on the side of the bed and pulls me across his knee. "Hey, what are you doing? I'm haven't done anything wrong" I protest.

"I know." He strokes my back and then kneads my bottom cheeks. He slaps my bottom, not hard but it stings. His hand slides down between my legs. "So wet, so fast. Anastasia, don't ever tell me you don't love this. It turns you on. I have you across my knee, holding you down. I am in total control of you. You are at my mercy." His voice is soft and sensual. "I could do anything I wanted with you now. I could give you a spanking…." He spanks me twice.

"Ouch" I protest.

"Quiet" he admonishes.

"All you can do now is submit to me." He strokes my sex. My stomach clenches and I can feel my arousal rise.

"Do you give me your submission, Anastasia?" His voice is sexy.

I am confused. I don't know how I feel. It is a mix of arousal, fear, and some feelings I don't even understand.

"Answer Me," he demands sternly.

"Yes" I whisper.

He spanks my bottom twice. "That was not submissive," he admonishes.

"Yes, Sir." I correct.

"Anastasia, I want to take you deeper. I want you in that special space where you give yourself to me completely. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I want you to let go, give up fighting this. I can feel the tension in your body. You will stop that. Now."

Christian's voice is so seductive, so reassuring. It is his Dom voice, the voice I have heard in the playroom. I fall deeper under his spell and my body starts to relax.

"You will welcome everything I do to you. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sir."

"You will do as I tell you, Anastasia. Your body is mine, all mine. Who is your master?"

"You are" I can barely talk.

Smack.

"You are, Sir" I am breathless, falling deeper under his spell.

"That's better. You need training, Anastasia. You need this. You need to admit your submission, to revel in it."

He moves his finger in and out. I don't think I can hold out much longer. Can I come? I don't know what he wants.

"Don't come yet, baby. I want you to wait."

I am on the edge, all sensation. I can feel my body's resistance evaporate. There is a calm acceptance that comes over me. The space is almost ethereal. The boundaries of my body and the air around me disappear. My thoughts are stilled. The sensation is pure love, almost painful love, longing. This is the deepest I have ever felt 'the space."

"That's better, my love" he says softly. One hand is lightly drawing across my back, the other stroking my backside. His voice turns stern, commanding, but sill low and sexy. "You will obey me Anastasia. You will obey me or I will punish you, every time. I love you with all my heart and I _will _make you a proper wife. You will want to do whatever I ask because it pleases me. I am your husband and I am a very old fashioned husband. Do you love your old fashioned husband, Anastasia?" He pushes his finger into my bottom forcefully as he says this.

"Yes, Sir" I whisper breathlessly. I know at that moment I would do anything he commands me to do. Time has stopped and the world outside room has disappeared. There is only us and the chemistry that is palpable.

"Good girl, Anastasia. And if you are a naughty wife, what does your husband do?"

"He punishes me, Sir." For the first time, it is not hard to say. It seems natural.

"Do I ever really hurt you, Anastasia?' His voice is stern but silky, sensual.

"No, Sir." In this moment, I trust him unquestioningly.

"Do you trust me, my darling wife?"

"Yes, Sir. I do."

"Completely?" he asks.

"Yes, Sir."

"Say it, Anastasia."

"I trust you completely, Sir." And in that moment, I know I do. I am so in his thrall, in the 'space' as he calls it.

I can feel him leaning back. "Hold still. Don't move," he warns.

I can feel him unbuckle his belt and pull it out of its loops. Is he going to get undressed?

"Baby, we are going to erase a bad memory you have. I am going to use my belt on you and you are going to submit to it because I am your husband and I am telling you to. Do you understand?"

I begin to cry, softly, not really out of fear, but somehow in acceptance of my submission. "You can cry," he says softly, "but you will trust me. You will submit because you are in that special space and you know how much I love you. You know that you need this. I need this. We need to let go of the past. You bring up that memory every time you get scared. You need to resolve it, to know that was a different Christian, not the husband who adores you. Will you let me help you forget?"

I can tell he is looping the belt in half. Then he brings it down on my bottom. It hurts, but no really very bad.

"You will get six, just like last time. That's one."

Five more times, Christian brings the belt down on my bottom. It hurts a little but it is so different than the last time. It feels more like a caress. The sting is there but it doesn't register as terrible pain. It makes me clench deep in my stomach and my vagina. My arousal is building with each stroke. As soon as he finishes the sixth, my orgasm explodes and my body stiffens. He rubs my back as I shiver in the aftershocks of my release.

When I finally quiet, Christian leans down and kisses my bottom. "You are exquisite, Anastasia. Your submission is beautiful. I love having you across my lap. I love dominating you. I love that I can put you in the space where you lose yourself to everything but me."

He picks me up and sits me on his lap. I am softly crying but not from sadness, only from the emotional release that has just overtaken me.

"How do you feel?" he asks softly.

"Confused…..and tired."

"You did well, my love. Do you understand why I did that?"

"I think so."

"I don't want you to remember the spanking I gave you with the belt the way it was then. That was a different Christian. That spanking was not given in love. I've wanted to do this for a long time but I wanted to wait until you were ready to go into your submissive space at my command. You did it, you know."

"How could you tell?" I have so many questions.

"Baby, believe me, I know. You were able to be submissive and we weren't in the playroom. That means we can play anywhere now. We don't need a playroom in our new home. The whole place can be a playroom when we want.

I put my arms around his neck and snuggle close. I have to let this experience sink in. It confuses me.

"I know you are confused. Tell me, how did you feel when I was spanking you with the belt? Was it different this time?"

"Yes" I mumble.

"Ana, I want honesty."

"No, I'm trying to understand it. It didn't hurt so much but I don't think it was as hard."

"Ana, it was just as hard as the last time. I told you, most of the pain was in your head. I could never really hurt you. I didn't come close to using any force with the belt, even then. You weren't in the right space for that spanking. It hurt you emotionally more than it hurt physically. Don't you know what was different this time?"

I'm glad he can't see my face. "I felt loved and turned on. I didn't feel like fighting it. I don't understand why."

"It's because it was given in love and you were in a submissive space. Remember when I told you that submission meant that you wanted to please me and that would please you?"

"Yes" I answer hesitantly.

"That's why it was different. Now, up with you." He scoots me off his lap. "Up on the bed. Lay on your stomach." He disappears into the bathroom and returns with a bottle of lotion. He puts some on his hands, rubs them together and gently smoothes them on my bottom. It feels cool and soothing.

Christian crawls up on the bed next to me. He strokes my hair. "Go to sleep little one. I know that exhausted you. I'm so proud of you. I love every one of you. You make me whole."

I fall asleep in his strong, loving arms.

When I wake up, I am alone in the huge bedroom. I rub my bottom. It doesn't hurt at all. I survived, I think happily. I go to find Christian. He is sitting on the patio in a lounge chair talking on the phone. He doesn't see me and I stand at the door listening.

"Elliot, why are you so upset about it? You said she's OK. Frankly, Kate needs a firm hand. She's too stubborn and assertive for her own good. …..I would never let Ana get by with the way Kate curses and her sarcasm…..I know, but I'm trying to deal with that. Ana just doesn't understand the danger."

I am suddenly aware that I am listening to a conversation that is clearly private. I walk over and sit down at the foot of the lounge. He smiles at me. "Elliot, Ana just woke up….yes, she is…. I won't. …Why don't you and Kate come over tonight?" He looks up at me for my approval. I nod.

"Just a minute Elliot. Ana, do you want to cook, go out to eat or order in?"

"I'll cook. Is Kate there?"

"No, Elliot's at home."

"Ok, I'll call Kate and see what she wants to eat."

Christian goes back to the phone. "Elliot, Ana says she'll cook. Come on over whenever. We can take a walk on the beach after dinner. Good. Bye."

Christian reaches down and kisses me. "Good morning sunshine."

I decide to make chicken and broccoli stir fry, spinach salad and oriental rice. Christian dutifully cuts the chicken breasts into small slices. He is getting better in the kitchen. "You are turning into a reliable sous- chef" I praise him.

"What's a sous-chef?"

"It's the second in command in the kitchen," I giggle. "I would be in command."

"Oh, you would, would you?" He puts his knife down and grabs me around the waist, rubbing his nose in my hair. "So you like being on top, do you?"

"Sometimes, yes."

"You know that is topping from the bottom."

"You said that to me once before. What exactly does that mean?"

"It means you are controlling the dominant, expecting him to dominate you the way you want him to. You don't do it often. Actually, I've found it quite cute."

"Well, if you are letting me do it, then basically, you are still in control," I muse.

"Good point, well made Mrs. Grey. You have that right. And I will only allow it once in a while, in case you are wondering." He gives me his stern look.

The doorbell rings and Christian goes to answer it. We have more privacy in our new home than at Escala. The security staff is here, somewhere, but they stay mostly in the nearly finished staff house. I love the less formal atmosphere and the privacy.

"Ana" yells Kate. "This place is gorgeous. Where in the hell are you?"

"In here" I yell back, wincing because I know Christian is frowning at the curse word.

Christian pours wine for everyone and he and Elliot sit at the table in the breakfast room next to the kitchen. "What can I do to help?" asks Kate.

"Yeah, like you would know what to do." Kate is not much of a cook.

We have a spirited discussion through dinner and the food is delicious. I outdid myself. "Wonderful dinner, Ana" says Elliot. "Do you think you could teach Kate how to cook? I'm getting tired of hot dogs." He grins teasingly at Kate.

"Then you should damn well learn to cook" Kate shoots back. I see Christian wince again.

The boys offer to clear the plates and when Kate and I are alone I hurry to warn her about the cursing. "Kate, Christian can't stand cursing. Do you think you could put a lid on it just to keep the peace?"

"Ana, he's so controlling. I don't know how you stand it. You may have to obey all his rules but I don't." She is in her stubborn mood.

"Ok, but don't blame me if he goes ballistic."

"I thought his temper was improved" Kate observes. "I haven't seen him get pissed in a long time."

"It's better but I don't push my luck."

Christian and Elliot come back in the dining room. "Anyone for a walk on the beach?" asks Christian.

We put our coats on because the night air is colder and head for the beach. Kate and Elliot are walking several yards in front of us, holding hands. Christian has my hand. It's a beautiful night with a full moon. The waves are crashing up on the shore. Christian looks longingly at me. "Want to make love on the beach?" he says.

"Not now." I giggle.

"Carpe diem, Ana" he laughs back.

Suddenly the lovebirds ahead of us stop. They face each other and Kate is saying something I can't hear but her voice is definitely angry. Elliot says something back to her. Kate freezes and takes off running back to the house.

"Uh oh, a lovers quarrel." Darn, that is going to ruin a perfectly wonderful evening.

Elliot looks lost. He stands still, watching Kate disappear. As we catch up to him, I can see his face looks confused, lost.

"What's up, Elliot?" Christian asks.

"Just Kate and her Irish temper" he says sadly. "I guess I better go sooth her ruffled feathers." He heads off in the direction Kate took.

Christian shakes his head. "He needs to get control of that woman or their life is going to be damn miserable."

"Christian, we fought a lot when we were first getting to know each other. I think that's pretty normal."

"You did not throw temper tantrums, Ana. And we did not scream at each other."

"No, you screamed at me and I wilted."

Christian looks guiltily at me. "Yes, I did have a problem with my temper when we met. But look how you rehabilitated me." He grins. "Now I am the picture of cool, calm and collected."

I giggle. "Yeah, right. I'm sure all your employees think you're just a cuddly bear now."

"Actually, Ros told me the word on the street is that marriage has been good for me."

"I'll bet they all wonder how I put up with such a control freak." I reach up and put my hands around his neck, and kiss him softly. Christian responds with a deep kiss, his lips hard and possessive. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him. "I. Love. You. Anastasia Grey." He punctuates each word with a kiss.

We hold each other in a warm embrace, each with our private thoughts.

"I guess we better go see if our new house is still standing" Christian says ruefully.

As we approach the house, we can hear shouting, one angry female voice and, less often, an equally mad male voice. As we enter the back door to the kitchen, Christian calls out. "We're home." He looks at me. "We wouldn't want to hear anything we're not supposed to."

Silence descends from the next room. Christian and I stay in the kitchen, pouring some wine and sitting down in the breakfast room to await the outcome of the Kate vs. Elliot bout. As the minutes tick by, the tension seems to grow.

"I'm going in there to see if Kate is alright." I announce. I can't stand the tension, and the silence from the den is concerning.

"Oh no you're not. You can't interfere in their relationship. Let them settle it."

"Kate and I have always taken care of each other. It's what we do." I am using his line. I stand up to go.

"Sit!" Christian doesn't move but his command voice is pure Christian.

I turn to him, trying to decide whether to obey or follow my instincts and go help Kate.

"Sit down, or lay across my lap. Your choice" he growls.

Ok, that was pretty clear. I sit.

Kate and Elliot emerge from the den, both looking sad and subdued. "We need to be going" say Elliot. "Thanks for the dinner."

Kate has been crying. Her eyes are swollen and red. I hug her and whisper in her ear. "Call me. We can talk. I'm always here for you." She nods and hugs me back. Christian shakes Elliot's hand, rather formally and the warring couple head out the door.

"Whew, that was uncomfortable." I hate that the evening ended so wrong. I thought we would play cards or a video game.

"Ana, I know you love Kate, and I know you don't think I do. But you're wrong. I love Kate as a sister now. And I see that she is beautiful and smart and very confident. But she is spoiled rotten. Surely you can see that her parents indulged her but they also spoiled her. There's a difference. My parents indulged us but we were never spoiled. I didn't grow up thinking the world owed me a living and that I should have whatever I wanted when I wanted it."

"Oh please. You get whatever you want. All you have to do is nod and everyone jumps."

"Ana, I earned that right. There's a difference. And Kate expects it from her family, her friends, everyone in her world. I don't do that."

"You do it with me" I pout.

"I've earned that right too" he says softly. He pulls me into his lap. "If Elliot doesn't take control of that relationship, there is never going to be a marriage. And if there is, it won't be a happy one. I worry about them."

"Kate isn't like me, Christian. She is bossy and confidant and much more spirited than I am. She would never put up with the kind of relationship we have. She doesn't understand us. She still doesn't approve of the way you control me."

"I'm not so sure some of that disapproval isn't envy, Ana. I see the way she studies us. It isn't with the same disapproval she used to have. I think she sees the bond we have, the calm understanding between us. She would like that with Elliot but she doesn't know how to get it."

"I wish I knew how to help her. We have always solved each other's problems together."

"Elliot is going to have to take the lead to solve this. We have never interfered in each other's lives. We don't have the kind of relationship where we pour out our problems to each other. We're very different and we have always just accepted that and let each other be what we are. I'd like to help him but he is going to have to come to me, ask for help. If he doesn't, I will stay out of it. And I strongly suggest that you stay out of it too." He gives me his sternest look.

"Is that an order?" I ask sarcastically.

"Yes, it's an order. I don't want you interfering with their relationship."

"Don't you both go to Carrick for advice?"

"Yes, at times. Dad is exceptionally good at knowing when to stay out of things and when to offer help. Mom, not so much. She gives her opinion freely." He smiles that reverent smile whenever he talks about his mom. "She had plenty to say to me when you were in the hospital after the kidnapping. And it wasn't so easy to hear."

"I envy your relationship with your mom. She is definitely a mom. My mom was always more the child in the relationship. She had her own problems and I have always ended up listening to her issues more than the other way around. Ray was the stable influence in my life."

"Yes, you were lucky to get such a good stepfather. Ray is quite a guy. I've really grown to like him."

"And he likes you." I think about all my conversations with Ray since I met Christian. "He's no help to me at all anymore. He just takes your side no matter what the issue is. I mimic Ray's deep voice. "Ana, Christian is a good man. You need to make him happy. He knows what he's doing. You could do worse, you know."

Christian laughs in unbridled delight. "I must say it's nice to have the father in law's unquestioning approval. He even gave me permission to spank you. Actually he ordered me to do it."

"He's a traitor and I have told him so," I say sardonically.

"Let's take care of the dishes. How about a dip in the hot tub before bed? We should really christen that too, you know."

We can skinny dip in the hot tub because Christian made sure it was private. The brick wall around it leaves it open to the sky and the cool night air. We strip in the bedroom and hurry out the glass French doors, naked and shivering to climb in the hot water. Christian just dunks in immediately. It's too hot for me and I stand shivering as I ease into the heat.

"Sit down, Ana. You're shivering. You'll get used to it."

I ease into the warmth and it feels heavenly in the cold air. Christian pushes a button and the jets come on. I've never been in a spa before and I am delighted. I start to move around, trying all the jets and feeling the warm massage on different parts of my body.

"You like?" he says, obviously enjoying the swirling water and my reaction.

"It's heavenly. And just outside our door. We can do it any time we want." I am intrigued with this new luxury.

"I don't want you coming in here alone" he warns. "And I don't want you in the swimming pool alone either. You'll have to wait for me, or maybe Mrs. Jones will want to go swimming with you. I'll have to ask her if she likes to swim."

I scowl at him. Christian always has to have rules. I'll fight about that another time. This is too much fun for an argument now.

Christian moves toward me and our noses rub. "Want to fuck in the hot tub?" he says suggestively.

'That would be a first." I wonder how it would feel in the heated water.

"First for me too." He turns off the jets and the water slowly settles into the placid state. His hands are around my waist and he pulls me to him. "Wrap your legs around my waist," he says.

I do as I'm told. We bob in the water together. "Are you ready? I can't tell so easily in the water."

"Don't you know by now that I'm a sure thing?" I challenge him. "All you need to do is touch me."

He takes his hand and guides his enlarged member into me gently. Oh, it feels so good. He starts bobbing in the water and the feeling is heavenly. We both laugh at the sensation. I love Christian in his playful mood.

Suddenly he starts singing to me.

_Say oh playmate_

_ Come out and play with me_

_ And bring your dollies three_

_ Climb up my apple tree_

_ Look down my rain barrel_

_ Slide down my cellar door_

_ And we'll be jolly friends_

_ Forever more._

I laugh delightedly. "A nursery song, Christian?"

"I have absolutely no idea why that came into my mind. My mother used to sing it to us and it's the kind of ditty that sticks with you. It's the first song I remember her singing and I loved it. Maybe it came to me because we're playing."

"I love it when you sing to me, Christian. You have a beautiful voce. You should do it more often." We are still joined together and the feeling of our union in this playful, sensual position is a new experience.

"Request noted. We aim to please Mrs. Grey."

"By the way, we never dissected your fifty shades. You got diverted teaching me a lesson."

"First things first, Mrs. Grey. We need to finish what we started." He walks us across the spa and sits on one of the underwater benches. He begins to thrust and I answer his movements. "Give it to me, Ana" he commands and I come as if on cue. My orgasm always initiates his and we mingle our juices as we cling to each other.

"I love the way you come on command. That's the ultimate, dominant high for me."

"It's not so bad for me either" I grin.

"So, fifty shades. Let's see, how many Christian's can I name."

"Wait, you need to get out of the water for awhile." He lifts me up by the waist and sits me on the ledge.

"No, it's cold" I protest and slide back into the water.

"Ana, you don't have the body mass to stay in this hot water too long. Get up on that ledge or we'll get out for good."

"You're not getting out," I pout.

"I'm twice as big as you. My body doesn't heat up as fast." He picks me up and puts me on the ledge again. "Stay" he orders. He looks at his waterproof watch. "Three minutes. I'll tell you when you can get back in."

I sit on the ledge, shivering and scowling at him. "You are the bossiest man in Washington," I complain.

"Why, thank you, Mrs. Grey. I like to be the best at everything I do." I smiles at me and splashes my legs with warm water. Then, to divert me I think, he massages my legs and my feet.

"Ok, three minutes, you can get back in but I'm watching you closely and you may need to cool off again."

"_Now_ can I start my dissection?" I ask sarcastically.

"Careful" he warns. I ignore him.

"Let's see, there's the bossy Christian who thinks I'm made of glass and will break when the wind blows. He has a million rules about my health and anything scary I might consider doing even though he knows I'm strong and can take care of myself."

Christian grins at me. "That's never going to change" he comments. "And you need a keeper. Even my mother said so." I ignore this comment.

"The Christian I first fell in love with is the most beautiful man on the planet. I never tire of just looking at him. His hair is always a mess and he looks gorgeous even in his pajamas. But in a tuxedo, he is ravishing. My favorite thing in the world is to look at him when he is asleep because his face is at peace and he is even more beautiful."

"You watch me sleep? When?" he asks.

"Whenever I can," I answer.

"Then there's the CEO Christian, master of his universe. He's the most competent, intelligent boss in the world, but he rules his kingdom with an iron fist. He has earned the respect, not only of his employees, but of the whole business community. He buys companies and fixes them and makes too much money for his own good. Someday I want to see him at work so I can experience his CEO side up close."

"You'll get that opportunity if I can ever get you to that meeting we need to have about Grey Publishing" he says sternly. Oops, I walked right into that one.

"I like the playful Christian very much. I don't see him often enough but when I do, it is a delight. He teases and tickles and laughs and enjoys playing games, and sailing and gliding and singing nursery rhymes."

"I also like the little boy Christian with his toys. The Christian who has big boy toys like helicopters and planes and cars and boats."

"My favorite Christian is the sexy one, the one who makes me orgasm six times in one night. He introduces me to seven shades of Sunday. He ties me up and plays sensual music, and blindfolds me and puts me in a space I never knew was possible." Christian smiles at this one.

"And we can't forget Christian the disciplinarian. I don't like that one so much. When my husband punishes me, it makes me mad. I don't like to get a spanking or have my mouth washed out with soap." I frown and stick my tongue out at Christian and he laughs.

"Oh, I'm forgetting Christian the philanthropist who wants to feed the world and gives lots of money to charities. Once he paid a charity $100,000 just to dance with me. I would have done it for free," I tease.

"OK, that's enough. You've made your point. I am a more complex character than you." He pulls me into his arms. "Let's get out. You've had enough hot water. Now you're making me hot."

"But that's not all the Christian's. There are more," I protest.

"Out" he commands, laughing.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: For those of you who hate the Christian and Ana in this story, please stop reading it. Your negative comments are about chapter 7. Why are you still reading it? This is the Christian in the story. In the third book, after the marriage, Christian put handcuffs on Ana, causing welts on her wrist. He is clearly a dominant personality. D/S is not abuse, it is consensual. If you don't like the lifestyle, don't read this story.

For those of you who love it, thanks for the feedback. Christian is slowly softening and in this story, he is learning to respect Anastasia's business opinions. If you still like the story, please let me know. I don't need to post any more chapters. I wrote it because it was fun. I only post because I hope you readers enjoy it.

Chapter 8

"Anastasia, we have to implement this plan. You have stalled long enough. What exactly are you worried about? How can I help you make this easier?" Christian is obviously frustrated. He has bought many companies, straightened them out, and made them profitable. I know he can't tolerate this waiting game.

"I've told you. I don't know if I can do this. You can't make me be like you, Christian, anymore than I can make you be like me."

"I'm not trying to make you be like me. I'm trying to fix a company. That's what I do. I'll take care of all these changes. I'm the CEO of the company and these are my decisions. The employees will blame me. Then it will all be finished when you become CEO in April."

"Like they don't know we're married. What you do will be blamed on me too."

"Ana, business is about good management, of human resources and finances and product. Grey Publishing needs restructuring or it will never be sound. You provide the product, You've proven you can do that. I will help with the operations. We can create a very successful publishing company."

"Ok, what do I have to do?" I sigh. I might as well give in. Christian is going to nag me until I do. And I guess it has to be done. He's the business genius. He's like Midas. Everything he touches turns to gold.

"My team is ready with the plan. I want you to come to a meeting so they can explain it all to you. Ordinarily I would not get involved in this level of detail. I sign off on the overall plan and let my people carry it out. But I want to be with you to support you. I want you to know exactly what we're going to do. If you are ready, I'll have Andrea schedule a time."

"And you will be there, promise?" I am going to need his support.

"Absolutely, the whole time" he assures me.

I arrive at Grey House for the 10 o'clock meeting. I have been back to the corporate headquarters only once since the fateful interview where Christian and I sparred and began to fall in love, and that was not business related.

I push the elevator button and memories wash over me. Who was that young, naïve girl who last rode this elevator to the lion's den? My life has changed so dramatically since that fateful day. I never would have thought, back then, that I would be returning as the owner of one of the Grey companies. I emerge on the top floor where Andrea sits at her desk outside Christian's office.

"Hello, Mrs. Grey, nice to see you again" she greets me warmly. "Mr. Grey is on the phone but he will be with you shortly." She looks uncertain, not sure what to do next. "Uh, Mrs. Grey, if you want to go on in, please do." I'm sure she has never invited anyone in to Christian's office without announcing them and receiving his permission. She doesn't know what to do with me.

"Oh, that's OK. I'll wait until he gets off the phone." I feel uncertain too. After all, it 's only in the last several months that I feel comfortable walking into his office at home without an invitation.

After only a minute, she looks at her phone and pushes a button. "Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey is here. No, Sir. Just for a minute, ….Right away."

Andrea looks at me. "Go right in, Mrs. Grey."

I open the door and Christian is coming around his massive desk to greet me. He looks every bit the CEO. "Anastasia, you do not need to wait in the lobby. In the future, when you visit here, tell Andrea to announce you immediately. I just told her the same thing. You own this company, Mrs. Grey. You must learn to act like it." He kisses me warmly before I can respond to this reprimand.

I look around the office. "Where it all began," I muse.

"Yes, you fell into my office and into my heart. Your comment about my artwork intrigued me. But I must ask, Miss Steele, do you still think I'm gay?" I burst into giggles and Christian laughs his deep, sexy laugh.

"No, Mr. Grey, I think we have unequivocally disputed that theory."

"I'm glad you think so." He pulls me to him and runs his hand down my back to caress my bottom. "Um" I murmur. "No, definitely not gay."

Christian releases me and his demeanor changes. "So, are you ready for this meeting?"

"I'll never be ready for this. I just want to get it over with." He ignores my sulk.

"We'll be meeting with my takeover team. They have done this many times. I'll introduce them when we get in the meeting. There will be someone from HR, IT, Accounting and Operations, just four people. They know what they're doing. They'll explain the process, the goals and the timeline. OK?"

"Whatever you say," I sigh with resignation.

"I wish you wouldn't be like this" he brushes his long finger down my cheek.

"I know. I'll try" I assure him.

His phone buzzes and he walks over to pick it up. "Yes, Andrea. Ok, ..We'll be right there."

Christian leads me to the glass enclosed conference room across the hall from his office. I remember admiring it on that first, fateful visit. The glass on the opposite wall looks out on the skyline of Seattle. When he opens the door, the four people in the room stand.

"Gentlemen, this is my wife, Anastasia. Anastasia, this is David Cook, IT, Bruce Schumacher, HR, John Paulson, Finance and Mike Cassidy, Operations." Each one nods politely as he introduces them. Christian points me to a chair at the right of the oversized chair at the head of the table. He pulls out the chair and I sit down, feeling about as out of place as a polar bear in the tropics.

Christian sits at the head of the table. There is a leather folder open in front of him with a pad of paper on one side. Lying on top of the pad is his Mont Blanc pen. I remember when I didn't know that the pen with the little white flower on top was an expensive Mont Blanc. Sitting at each of our places is a folder with a cover that has the Grey Enterprises Holding Inc name and logo at the top. The covers says Grey Publishing Restructuring Plan.

As soon as I sit down, Christian sits and then the four men sit.

"John, you can start" Christian says curtly. I look over at Christian. He is sitting slightly forward, his hands on the table clasped in front of him. He is gorgeous, I think. He looks every bit the corporate executive in his grey suit, white shirt and navy tie. Every muscle in his body shouts competence, authority, keen intelligence. This is his world, the one I rarely see. He's different than he is at work in his home office. This is the real thing. With sudden realization, it dawns on me that he has responsibility for all of this. All these companies, all these people, 40,000 of them he once told me, probably more now. I am overwhelmed with the thought.

"Mrs. Grey, if you will turn to page three, you will find the year end unaudited balance sheet. On page four is the profit and loss statement. Would you like me to go through them for you?"

Christian cuts him off. "That won't be necessary, John. In the interest of time, please just go over the plan for moving the accounting functions." Thank heavens, I think. I've never seen a balance sheet and have no idea what it means.

"Yes, Sir." John is older, maybe early fifties. He has distinguished grey hair and a serious face. He reminds me of what a grandfather should look like. He looked vaguely disappointed that he couldn't go through the balance sheet. He must like his financial reports. He shifts gears and walks us through the next three pages about moving functions.

"Did you have any questions, Mrs. Grey?" he asks kindly as he finishes.

All I really comprehended is that the whole accounting department will be gone, and that's where I get the checks for the authors. "How will I get checks to pay the advances for new authors if there is no accounting department?" I am nothing if not practical.

"Ana, you'll have an accounting department. It just won't be in the building." Christian says in a patronizing way.

"That's obviously the basis of my question," I snap. He doesn't have to be patronizing. I may not be a brilliant CEO but I'm not an idiot. I'm aware that four men across the table freeze.

Christian shows no reaction at all. He has his impassive face on. "You'll need to tell them the checks will be mailed," he says with absolutely no trace of emotion.

"No, that won't work. New authors expect to have a check in hand when they sign the contract."

Christian looks intently at me for what seems like a long time. The room is silent. All eyes are on him. "John, can you arrange to have a separate checking account opened and give Mrs. Grey the checkbook? We'll need a bank authorization form to establish her as an authorized check signer."

"Mr. Grey, we can do whatever you need?" John sounds relieved.

"Do you have any other concerns about the financial plan?" Again, his tone is neutral but I can tell I am testing his patience by the look in his eyes.

"No, thank you."

"David?" Christian nods at the IT man. He is the youngest and looks razor sharp. He's handsome in a nerdy kind of way and obviously loves his computers. His presentation is about servers and remote computing and networking and something called VPN which, makes me want to giggle for some reason.

My mind wanders during the boring explanation of all the computer things I have nothing to do with anyway. Christian sits slightly forward, his hands, with fingers intertwined, resting on his leather folder. I am fascinated by his hands. They are big, like he is. His fingers are so long, perfect for playing the piano. Those hands have given me so much pleasure. I feel myself blushing and stop the thoughts of exactly how they have pleasured me. It feels comforting, that he is so strong, and the power is definitely sexy. What do they say about power being an aphrodisiac?

I am drawn back to reality as David finishes his lengthy presentation. "Mrs. Grey, do you have any concerns?" he finishes. He looks like he is silently praying that I don't.

I need to be less confrontational this time, I think. "David, we do a lot of presentations and live video conferencing. Who can I rely on to set up the equipment? We currently have the IT department move it from room to room. Should we install a system in all three conference rooms?" Again, my practical side. It sounds ridiculously mundane after David's complicated, technical information.

"Ma'am, my motto is that we can do anything you want. It just takes time and money.

Christian gives a slight nod of assent to David.

Mike from operations appears to be in his 40's. He is taller than the rest with blond hair and a lively personality. He peppers his comments with humorous anecdotes about the processes at Grey Publishing that apparently need to be changed immediately. There's something about the writers' contracts that he has referred to legal. I am not really sure what he is talking about so I can't think of any questions.

Bruce goes last. He is a slightly overweight, somewhat older man who is prematurely bald but has bright blue eyes. He outlines the process for offering staff other positions in Grey companies, severance pay, Cobra insurance and other benefit options.

This I can understand. At least I know something about applying for jobs, getting health insurance, and what severance pay means. He is offering long time employees two week's severance pay. That sounds just plain wrong. How are they supposed to find new jobs in two weeks?"

Christian looks at me kindly. "Anastasia, do you have any questions?"

"No questions. But I would like to give employees a minimum of one month severance pay and two months for employees who have been at the company for more than five years." I try to make my voice sound grown up. I'm obviously the youngest person in the room. Twenty-two years old and I own a company. It just doesn't seem right.

Christian leans back in his chair and rubs his pen across his bottom lip. He is staring at me with his impassive look. I can't tell what he is thinking. The room has gone eerily silent. The four men are waiting for Christian to respond. Christian's grey eyes are locked with my blue ones. It seems to be a standoff.

Finally Christian says quietly "And why do you want to do that?"

"Well, if we are displacing these people it only seems fair to give them enough severance to take care of their families until they find a new job. It would be a minimum of four weeks before they found employment and then got a paycheck." Don't cave Ana, I tell myself.

"Mrs. Grey," Bruce finally finds his voice. "That would cost quite a bit. We have only ever given two weeks severance."

"Well, Christian says the restructuring will save over a million dollars a year, so I'm sure we can afford it" I say stubbornly. Christian is still staring at me and my bravado is weakening.

"Bruce, how many employees do you think will not qualify for other jobs at Grey?" He asks the question of Bruce but he never takes his eyes off me.

"Mr. Grey, I would guess that about 10 to 12 employees would fit in that category."

"And will the redeployed employees begin their new positions without any loss of work time?"

"Yes, Sir" answers Bruce."

Christian tries to smile at me but it is only a half smile and it doesn't touch his eyes. "Anastasia, we are only talking about a few employees and they are the marginal ones who shouldn't have held their current jobs."

He's talking about them as if they weren't human. "They may be _marginal_ but they still have families to feed." It comes out more defiant than I meant it to be.

"Sir, I might also point out that this would be an exception to our current policy and could be construed as discrimination by some." Bruce is definitely against my idea.

Christian stands and pulls out my chair. "A private conference with you Mrs. Grey?" he says, but it is not a question. He leads me across the hall to his office and closes the door.

"What are you trying to do?" His question is sincere. I know he doesn't understand.

"Christian, I don't understand how you can be so determined to feed the world and not care if your own employees feed their kids."

He looks startled for a minute. "What you don't understand is the business world. You don't treat different people differently. It leaves you open to all kinds of lawsuits. And you don't make decisions with your heart. You make them based on the financial data, rules, policies. Business and charity are two different things and should be kept separate." Rules, yes, Christian loves rules. No wonder he's so good at this.

"I don't care what the business reasons are. I know these people and I won't have them treated shabbily. I am part owner of Grey Publishing so I should have equal say. Besides, rules are meant to be broken. There are always exceptions."

Christian gives me a hard look. "Yes, you do seem to have a problem following rules" he says accusingly.

He begins pacing in front of me, thinking I can tell. "Anastasia, here, you are a part owner. But you are also my wife. As such, you will refrain from being disrespectful to me and you will accept my decision as final. Understood?"

"That's not fair, Christian. You said we were equals in managing Grey Publishing. I'm not going to be the CEO if you're going to overrule all my decisions."

"Anastasia, the cold, hard fact is that I can, and do, overrule the decisions of any of the CEO's of the companies I own. And that applies to Grey Publishing as well. I am still the CEO of the whole of Grey Enterprises."

"So that's the bottom line, is it? At home you are the head of the household and at work you are CEO of the enterprise, the universe. My equality is a bit of an illusion, isn't it?"

Christian stops pacing and looks intently at me. "This means a lot to you, doesn't it?"

"Yes" I answer in a small voice.

"OK, this will be your call." He gives me his sternest look. "But don't let it go to your head. I'm trusting your judgement. Let's go tell the team and get this over with.

As we walk back into the room, all four men stand again. I take my place, feeling a little embarrassed but elated that I won.

"Mrs. Grey, it's your decision."

"I want to give the additional severance, four weeks for those with less than five years of tenure and 8 weeks severance for those with more than five years."

Bruce looks at Christian for confirmation and he nods slightly, making Bruce heave a sigh of resignation and look down at his papers to add a note. It still kind of pisses me off that he had to get Christian's approval. He said it was my decision. Yes, it's still Christian's world.

""Any other changes you would like to make to the plans." Christian looks at me expectantly and his voice is sarcastically sweet. The question is both a challenge and an acknowledgement that I have won this round.

"No." I can't think of anything else."

"When do you plan to implement?" He seems to be directing the question to Mike.

"February 1st is our target, Sir."

"Ok, keep me informed."

"That will be all. Thank you." He nods to the team, dismissing them.

Each one leaves with a polite "It was nice to meet you, Mrs. Grey" or some such acknowledgement.

When we are alone, I look up at Christian sheepishly, waiting to see if he is mad that I practically demanded a change in the plans.

"Well done, Mrs. Grey. How did you like your first corporate meeting?"

Whew. That's a relief. He isn't mad.

"I didn't like it at all. How in the hell do you understand what all those people are talking about?"

"Watch your language, Mrs. Grey." He looks stern for a minute. "I don't understand all of it. It's my people I have to understand. If I trust them, then I have to let them do their jobs. But I have to understand enough of it to know if they're off track. I read all these reports before the meeting. And the plan is sound."

He looks at me impassively. "Mrs. Grey, do you know you cost us about $200,000? I'm thinking I should probably take it out in your hide."

"I'd prefer you just ask one of those accountants to find someplace for it in one of your many reports" I reply saucily.

"Just because I let you have your way because you were afraid of your first corporate meeting doesn't mean I will always allow you to challenge me so, shall we say, aggressively, in future meetings with my staff. I don't want you, or them, to get in any bad habits. You may have noticed that your tone of voice was quite a surprise to them."

He doesn't really seem mad. In fact, he is trying to hide his amusement, and that makes me dangerously brave. "Oh, I think it's probably good for you, and for them too, to see a spirited discussion in Grey headquarters."

"Mrs. Grey, what am I going to do with you?"

He crosses the room and hugs me briefly until we both remember at the same time that we are in a glass room.

February 1st arrives too quickly for me. The corporate suits will all descend on Grey Publishing. I dread it more than I can say. Christian will not be there. He says that sometimes he attends the first day of a takeover or restructuring and sometimes he doesn't. It depends on the situation. In this case, he will not be on site out of deference to me.

"Christian, I hate this. I don't know how to act. I know everyone will hate me." I am miserable just thinking about it.

"Oh, baby. You've got to develop a thicker skin." He rubs his nose in my hair and kisses me gently on the forehead. "Don't go in today if you don't want to."

"That would be the height of cowardly behavior. I'll stay in my office most of the day."

"Ana" he says softly but firmly, "I want you to stop worrying about this. My team is very professional. They'll be kind to everyone. They'll explain everything, give reassurance. The HR team will be filling out applications and giving people details on open positions. Now stop winding yourself up or I am going to make you stay home."

When I get to work, there is already a bustle of activity. I head for my office and call Hannah in to explain what is happening. To my surprise, the day is relatively quiet. Roach is handling all the logistics so I really am not needed. By afternoon I have relaxed a little. I call Kate.

"How's it going?" asks Kate. She knows what is happening today.

"Quieter than I expected but I am tied up in knots. Any chance you can get off early and pick me up for a drink? I need someone to talk to."

"It's a quiet day here too. I'm just reviewing some of next week's stories. I'll pick you up in 20 minutes, OK?"

"Thanks Kate. I appreciate this."

I decide to spend the 20 minutes visiting the affected departments. It's a somber environment and they look at me suspiciously as I enter. "How are you all doing?" I ask bravely. Half an hour later, everyone is feeling better. I have managed to convince them that I am on top of this. I want them to find jobs that are closer to their homes, hopefully jobs they like just as much. My door is always open and I encourage them to come talk to me about their specific issues. I walk back to my office feeling much better, at least not cowardly. Gosh, am I growing up at last?

Kate is waiting for me with Hannah. She looks at me sympathetically. "How are you Steele? Holding up to your name?"

"Yes, let's go. Hannah, I'll see you tomorrow. Leave whenever you want. Nothing more is going to happen today."

Sawyer is waiting in the reception area. "Sawyer, Kate and I are going for a drink. And, so help me, if you call Christian, I'm never speaking to you again." I walk out and get in Kate's car before he can respond. I know we'll be gone by the time he gets to his car. He can track me but it will take time.

I take a deep breath and smile at Kate. This is so normal, so retro, so comforting. Kate smiles back at me. "Rescuing Ana. I think we've been around this block. Where to my newly minted CEO."

"Anywhere we can drink and talk. I can't make any decisions now."

We go to the bar near Kate's apartment. "I've really wanted to talk to you too," Kate says seriously after we have received our Cosmos. "Do you want to deal with your problems first or mine?" She grins and we both remember the many times our conversations started this way.

"Please, let's start with yours. I'm sick of mine."

Kate looks down and says nothing. This is new. Kate is nothing if she is not explosive about her problems.

"Kate, it's me, Ana. Give over."

"Ok, but this is really embarrassing. Elliot and I had a big fight about….well it doesn't matter, it was a big fight. It started at your house and we never got it settled. I kind of lost my temper and threw something at him." She stops to let this sink in.

I can't help it. I burst out laughing. The vision of Kate throwing a lamp at Elliot is beyond funny. "What exactly did you throw?" I ask between giggles.

Kate looks sheepish. "It was only a wooden kitchen spoon. I was cooking at the time."

There is a long silence. Apparently Kate is having trouble continuing.

"Did you hurt him?" I ask, hoping she will continue.

"No, he deflected it."

"That's not so bad" I say soothingly. "I once threw a hairbrush at Christian. On our honeymoon, no less."

"You threw a hairbrush at Christian? What are you, crazy? He still scares me. I can't imagine lighting his fire like that. I'm surprised he didn't kill you."

"Actually he laughed it off, threatened to nail down all the projectiles in the room."

"Well, I wasn't so lucky. Elliot got really mad and stalked off. We haven't spoken since. I'm afraid he doesn't want me anymore. Ana, I love him. I don't know what to do."

"Did it ever occur to you to apologize?" I keep my tone as sweet as possible. I don't want to make Kate feel worse. "You're not one to apologize easily, Kate, but this might be a good time to practice humility.

"Yeah, I guess I should. My temper gets the best of me when Elliot is so stubborn.

"Kate, I think men have pretty fragile ego's in general. Elliot doesn't know what to do when you're bossy and overbearing,"

"Ana! How can you say such a thing?"

I laugh. "Kate, you know you are. Come on. We've always been honest with each other. Remember Mia telling us that Carrick is the head of the Grey household? I'm sure Christian and Elliot see that as normal. They had a very happy childhood and the family was stable. They both want marriages like that. You're going to have to let Elliot feel like he's in charge sometimes. I used to call it the illusion of control but, with Christian, it's usually more than an illusion. With Elliot, it's different. He likes your dominant ways. But I doubt he likes your temper very much. Call him, say you're sorry and you won't ever throw anything at him again. You know you love him."

"Thanks, Ana. That helps a lot. Now your problems, huh?"

"Well, the restructuring is over, and I'm glad of that. But Christian still wants to make me CEO in April. I admit he has structured it so I don't have to do anything about operations. He wants me in total control of the publishing decisions. He has a lot of confidence in me that I wish I felt. I don't see myself as a CEO."

"Ana, you won every issue about the restructuring. I think it's obvious Christian trusts you. You just don't have confidence in yourself."

"I know. I'm trying to accept it. I do like that Christian treats me like an equal, or at least as equal as he treats the other CEO's of his companies. He's a tough boss. I didn't win easily on any of those issues."

"Christian is Christian. He loves you and that's all that really matters. I think it's icing on the cake that he respects you professionally."

We order another Cosmo and then another. I check my Blackberry and there is a message from Christian. "I'll pick you up at Duggan's," it says simply.

"Sawyer called Christian. He's on his way to pick me up. Now my husband's mad at me." I smile and Kate smiles back. "But it won't last more than a few minutes. You shouldn't have let Elliot stew so long."

"Well, if Christian's coming, we better get another Cosmo down before he gets here."

Christian walks over to our table. I didn't see him come in. He is in his black pinstriped suit, looking handsome as ever.

"Hi Christian, join us." I pull out the chair next to me and smile up at him. Uh Oh, he is definitely not in the mood to join the party.

"Time to go home, Mrs. Grey. I paid your bill already. I'll walk you to your apartment Kate. I called Elliot and he's be coming over. He said you had a fight. You should make up, you know."

We walk in silence across the street to Kate's apartment, the apartment I was supposed to share with her, until my life took a direct left turn.

"Bye, Kate, and thanks." I hug her.

Christian opens the back door and helps me in the SUV. Taylor is driving. "Good evening, Mrs. Grey" he says formally. "Hi Taylor" I respond not very enthusiastically.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask as Taylor pulls into traffic.

"I'm disappointed," he says shortly. Guess I have my answer. I'm in trouble.

As we ride in the elevator, Christian announces shortly. "We'll have dinner first. Mrs. Jones has it ready. And then I'm going to spank you." He sounds like it's a normal thing to say, like he's announcing a movie after dinner.

"Ok" I respond.

He stares down at me, surprised by my reaction.

"Good evening Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey. Dinner's ready if you are."

"Just let us wash up. We'll be there in a minute" Christian calls back.

We both wash our hands at the matching sinks. Christian looks over at me and smiles. What to do? I smile back, my shy smile. That always softens him.

We make light conversation during dinner. Christian wants to know how it went at Grey Publishing and I can tell him that it wasn't too bad. "I wanted to leave before the employees began carrying out their belongings. I just couldn't take that. That's why I called Kate to come get me. But I made the rounds and spoke to them. I think it helped."

"Good. The worst is over, Ana. It will all be a lot easier from here on." He makes no mention of the calling Kate part.

"Finished?" he asks when I put down my fork.

"I'd like to finish my wine" I give him my coy look. I've perfected it lately.

When I drain the last of my wine, he holds out his hand and leads me to the bedroom. Without any pause, he sits on the bed. "Come here, Anastasia, and stand next to me."

I look calm as I walk to my place but my heart is pounding already. I'm not going to make the mistake I made last time. I got 10 extras that time for resisting.

Christian takes my arm and pulls me across his lap. He slowly lifts my dress above my bottom and pulls my pants down to my knees. "Why are you in this position, Mrs. Grey?" he asks softly.

"Because I went out without security," I answer, hoping I sound contrite.

"And why does that merit a spanking?"

"Because it puts my life at risk." I know all the right answers.

"That's right. And you know I love you so much I can't let you get by with that. It's the only thing I punish you for."

With that his hand descends and smacks my bottom, hard. I jump. The first one is always a surprise. He says nothing more. The spanks come, one side, then the other, a pause after each to let the sting sink in. I find myself silently counting. At 10, the smacks stop and he rubs my bottom gently. This is different. It really didn't hurt at all.

Finally, he picks me up and sits me on his lap. He kisses the top of my head. "I love you so much, Anastasia. It hurts I love you so much." His voice is breathless.

I snuggle into his chest, enjoying the smell of him, the safety of his arms. My love for this big, complex man is all consuming. I don't know I love such a complicated man, but I don't care anymore. I just accept that it is, because he makes me feel loved and secure.

"Why did you take your spanking so,… well, …submissively?" His voice is full of awe.

"I deserved it," I whisper, embarrassed. "I know the rule. I broke it."

" Yes you did, baby. I wish you wouldn't scare me like that."

"I know."

He picks me up and stands me in front of him. Turning me around, he unzips my dress and pulls it over my head, then proceeds to undress me and lays me on the bed. He takes off his jacket, his pants and then all his clothes until he is also naked. He goes into the closet and comes back with the grey tie. So many memories that grey tie brings. "Hold your hands out," he says. His tone is sensual.

I comply and he wraps the tie around my wrists and ties it expertly. He flips me over on my stomach and lifts me around the waist to put a pillow under me so my bottom is high in the air. Pulling my hands over my head he ties the other end to the bedpost. Then he crawls between my legs and spreads them apart. He reaches down and cups my sex with his palm

He moves gently in and out of me, not too far in but persistently. Suddenly he thrusts all the way into me. It is electrifying. I can't help myself. My body vibrates uncontrollably. Christian has stilled. He waits out my very long orgasm, just holding my hips in both hands to control the shaking of my body.

"Well, well, Mrs. Grey. That was quite a reaction. Shall we go for another round?" he says sensually as my body finally calms. I am spent. I don't know if I have the energy to orgasm again.

He starts to move in an out of me again, slowly, sensually. It is an indescribable feeling that reverberates throughout the whole lower half of my body. His rhythm increases and I can feel myself loosing it again. For the first time, Christian begins to orgasm first. My body answers his. He is still, calling my name, "Ana, Ana."

He collapses onto me, and realizing his weight is smothering me, he rises up on his elbows. "Mrs. Grey, we have achieved new heights in our relationship." He smiles like the cat that caught the mouse. "You have accepted your submission, at least sometimes. And that's the way I like it. You're going to be a feisty CEO."

"Two sides to the same Ana, huh?"

"You know I don't want a full time submissive, which you definitely are not. But I am thrilled that you can be in that space when you need to be." He smiles his wonderful, wide, charming smile.

He's so happy, I can't argue with him. I have always had the nagging worry that I wasn't enough for him, that he missed his old lifestyle. All my doubts have slowly disappeared.

"Ana, I don't want to be a Dom full time either. I love our life. But I will always have that part of my personality. You give me your submission when we play and when you risk security. That is just the right amount. You are perfect. And I love you more than life itself."

"And I love you more than the sun and the moon and the stars."

"Mrs. Grey, I think it is time we began to work on a family. I wanted to be sure our marriage was on track before we had the responsibility of children. I want our children to grow up in a stable, loving home like I did. I think we have found our equilibrium. What do you say?"

"Mr. Grey, I have longed to hear you say that. You will make the most wonderful father in the world. You love deeply, you play joyfully and you have so much to teach a child. And, I suspect, you will be a good disciplinarian. You've had enough practice." I grin at this observation.

"Yes, you do continue to provide the experience" he observes ruefully. "And you will be a wonderful mother. You are loving and smart and so understanding. You understood what I needed when no one else could reach me. It scared me at first. You were so perceptive."

"Come over here" he pulls me to him. "I want to cuddle my beautiful wife."

The rest of the week at Grey Publishing is uneventful. There are fewer people around but the work of publishing goes on normally. I have four new books I'm working on. The daily bustle of emails and calls from nervous authors keeps me from thinking about all the changes. By Friday, I am just glad the week is over. I look forward to going to our new home. I've missed it this week. I notice a new email from Christian.

**From: Christian Grey**

**Subject: Friday**

**Date: February 5, 2012**

**To: Anastasia Grey**

** Are you ready to go back to our ocean hideaway? **

** What time can I pick you up?**

**Christian Grey**

**Loving husband and CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.**

**From: Anastasia Grey**

**Subject: Our hideaway**

**Date: February 5, 2011**

**TO: Christian Grey**

**I can't wait. Will Mrs. Jones be there or can we go out to dinner? I really don't feel like cooking tonight.**

**I'll be finished by 5. I want to get out of here. Can you come that early?**

**Mrs. G x**

**From: Christian Grey**

**Subject: Out for dinner**

**Date: October 30, 2011**

**To: Anastasia Grey**

**5 it is. Where do you want to eat? I think Gail is off.**

**Christian Grey**

**Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc **

**From: Anastasia Grey**

**Subject: New place**

**Date: February 5, 2011**

**TO: Christian Grey**

**Lets find a new place. I'm in the mood for Italian.**

**Mrs. G x From: Christian Grey**

**Subject: Italian it is**

**Date: February 5, 2012**

**To: Anastasia Grey**

**We aim to please, Mrs. Grey. See you soon.**

**Christian Grey**

**Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc **

Christian is waiting in the R8 when I come out. He gets out of the car, as usual, and opens the door. I reach up to give him a quick kiss. Gosh, we are such an old married couple.

"I found an Italian restaurant on the way to our home. I think I've been there before but I can't remember for sure. It has good reviews."

It turns out to be a charming little place, romantic with dim lights and candles on the white tablecloths. Christian orders the wine and we are both overwhelmed by the large menu. "Why don't you get the lasagna and I'll get the ravioli and we can share?" he suggests.

"Sounds good to me."

We spend a wonderful hour, sharing our work stories. Christian has bought another company this week. Will he ever stop? I'm just glad I made it through the week. I wish, for a change, that I had his energy and drive for business.

"Now that the restructuring is over, we can make plans for you to become the CEO. Roach is ready. He can take care of any operational things with corporate. The CEO job will now be all about publishing. You can have total control over the publishing decisions. Ana, you'll be great at that. And you can spend your time reading just like you want." He is so happy with the new arrangement. I know he structured the whole company so I can have control of publishing decisions. He has a lot of faith in me. I hope I can be as contented as he is in his domain.

We are both thrilled to be back at our new house. We still haven't named it so it has the undistinguished title of "new house." It doesn't seem quite like home. I'm still exploring its many rooms. I want to explore all the property.

Saturday morning I am awake early, eager to spend the day exploring. Christian is still sleeping so I slip on my old sweat pants and sweat shirt and tiptoe out with my tennis shoes and socks in hand. I down a glass of orange juice, put my shoes on and slip out through the patio. I want to walk on the beach like I did last week, but this time watch the dawn. There isn't any activity from the staff quarters. Christian says there is a command center there and the staff watches the feeds from all the cameras on the property.

It is so much more private than the security at Escala. We rarely see Taylor or Sawyer or Ryan. They walk the grounds at times but mostly they stay in the command center.

I cross the meadow and head for the ocean. The air is crisp and the smell of salt water soothing. I turn on my iPod, tune it to Cold Play and begin a brisk walk down shore as close to the water as I can without getting wet.

I don't even hear the sound of the motor until it is almost upon me. Cold Play is blaring in my ears. As the outside sound registers in my ears, I feel a twinge of fear. Just then an arm reaches out and grabs me around the waist. I struggle to turn to identify my attacker and a hand closes a cloth around my face. I gasp, smelling an odd smell and then there is blackness.

When I wake up, I feel groggy and my head hurts. I can't see. I panic, realizing that I am blindfolded. My left hand is in a handcuff with the other end locked on something. I think I'm on a bed. Fear overwhelms me. Where am I? Who has kidnapped me? My right hand is free and I pull the blindfold off my face. I'm in a shoddy room, small and drab. The small bed looks dirty and the only other furniture in the room is a small dresser. There is one small window but it is covered by a heavy shade. It looks like it is dark outside. I must have been out all day.

I'm confused. What should I do? Christian will be beside himself, I realize. He will pull out all the stops to find me. It dawns on me. These must be the kidnappers of wealthy women. Christian will pay anything I realize immediately. I wish I had paid more attention to the news. I know one of the women was returned unharmed. What happened to the others? Will I be so lucky? My mind races. I must think clearly.

No one comes in the room and I'm hungry. I didn't eat this morning, I remember. Should I call out, tell them I'm awake. Maybe that would be worse. What will they do to me? All the horrible thoughts race through my mind. Rape? Would they kill me? I lay back on the bed and tears fill my eyes. I want Christian to come for me. I want to go home. I am still groggy and I close my eyes, drifting off to sleep.

Suddenly I hear what sounds like an explosion. Voices are screaming and there is banging. I'm terrified. I try to scoot down lower in the bed. The voices come closer and the door bangs open. What I see is so terrifying I faint. Blackness.

I come to with a cold cloth on my face. A policeman is sitting on the bed. "You are safe, Mrs. Grey. The police are here. Stay awake for me." His voice is soothing. "You just fainted. Are you hurt?"

I'm so confused. What happened to the scary men? Where am I?

"Mrs. Grey, can you answer me? Do you hurt anywhere? Are you OK? Can you sit up?"

Finally I nod. Gently the policeman lifts my head off the bed. Then he cuts the handcuff off my arm. More people enter the room. The policeman gets up and three men in hospital uniforms come over to the bed. "Mrs. Grey, we're going to examine you. Do you hurt anywhere?"

"My head" I whisper. He puts a blood pressure cuff on me and shines a light in my eyes. "What happened?" I am so confused. I can't think straight.

"Mrs. Grey, you were kidnapped. We have arrested the kidnappers. You are safe. Did they hurt you?"

"No, I never saw them. I've been in this room. What day is it?"

"It's Saturday night, or actually Sunday morning now."

"Christian, where's my husband? You have to find him. He'll be so worried."

"Mr. Grey is fine. He knows you're safe. He's waiting for you at the hospital. We're going to take you there now."

"Ok." I can't even think to ask any more questions.

The medics put me on a stretcher. I want to protest that I can walk but I'm too weak. I just lie down and close my eyes. I can feel the ambulance moving. It makes me feel sick at my stomach. I try to sit up and am gently pushed back down. "Lay still, Mrs. Grey. You're all right. We'll take care of you. Just lay back and relax."

I try to but I'm getting nauseated. "I'm going to be sick" I moan. The nurse puts a plastic bag to my mouth and I throw up what little I have in my stomach. I lay back down, exhausted.

When we arrive at the hospital, they take me to a small room and transfer me to a bed. A doctor and a nurse are waiting. "I'm Doctor Graham, Mrs. Grey. I'm just going to examine you. OK?" I nod. He shines a light in my eyes and begins a thorough examination.

"Where's my husband?" I just want Christian. I want his arms around me.

The doctor looks at me intently. He seems to be deciding what to say. That alarms me. "What's wrong? Where is Christian?" I can feel my panic rising. Did they kidnap him too? Is he hurt? Is he dead? I sit up trying to shake the dizziness I feel.

"Be careful, Mrs. Grey" the doctor says softly, putting a hand on my arm to steady me.

"Your husband is going to be fine. He hurt is arm and is in x-ray. He'll be with you soon."

"His arm? Is he OK?

"Yes, they need to see if it is broken. Otherwise he's fine."

"Broken?" I can't think straight. I'm so confused. I lay back down because my head still hurts so badly.

"I'm going to give you something for the headache. You were given chloroform and that causes a bad headache. But there are no other side effects. It will work its way out of your system in a few more hours."

He sits down on the bed. "I have to ask you a few questions Mrs. Grey. OK?" I nod.

"Did they touch you in any way? Did they hurt you?"

"Not that I know of" I answer.

"I'm going to examine you to make sure. You were not conscious and I want to be sure nothing happened while you were out. Do you understand?"

I nod. The nurse removes my clothes and prepares me. It's just like having a gynecological exam. I wince but lay still. The nurse is just covering me with the sheet after the exam when I hear Christian's voice. "Where the hell is my wife?"

Oh, poor Christian.

A nurse opens the door to let him in and he rushes to the bed. "Oh my god, Ana. Are you alright?" He looks wild, beside himself with worry. He sits on the edge of the bed and leans down to kiss my forehead. I can feel his body shaking. "Christian, I'm Ok" I soothe.

His arm is in a sling. "What happened to you?"

"I'm Ok," he says shortly. When he lifts his head, there are tears in his eyes. "Are you really OK? Did they hurt you?" He looks so hurt, like he's in pain. I reach up to stroke his face. "Oh, baby" he murmurs and the tears flow again.

Just then Grace comes through the door. She has been crying too, I notice. "Darling, you don't know how glad we are to see you." She reaches around Christian and kisses me gently on the cheek. She strokes Christian on the head. We are all silent, just basking in the fact that we are together, that we are all alright.

Christian's head is bowed. I know he is a little embarrassed by his tears. Grace gently lifts his chin. "Darling they need you in casting. You need to go. I'll stay with Ana."

"I'm not leaving her mom. I don't want a brace." He's rubbing my knuckles with his thumb. He seems lost.

"Christian Grey, you will get that arm braced or I'm going to bring your father in here to drag you there." I don't think I've ever heard Grace talk to Christian like he was a little boy before. I giggle. Christian and Grace both turn to me in surprise. "Sorry, but Christian you better listen to your mommy. She sounds serious."

Even Christian gives a slight smile to this announcement. "Mom, I can't. Please tell them to come in here to do it. I can't leave Ana. I just got her back." He almost sounds like he's whining, like a little boy begging.

Grace sighs. "Ok, I'll see if I can pull some strings. Ana, don't let him move that arm." She leaves on her mission and I look at Christian seriously. "Christian, what's wrong with your arm, tell me."

"It's not broken, it's sprained. They want to put it in a brace, that's all."

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes, but I can't really focus on that. I was so worried, Ana. Are you sure you aren't hurt?"

"Yes, Christian, I'm sure. They did a lot of tests. So, how did you hurt your arm?"

"Later, baby. For now, I just want to touch you all over and make sure you're really here, really back to me." His eyes fill with tears again.

Two men return with Grace, one holding an ugly, black brace with straps all over it. "Come, Christian, sit in this chair so they can get the brace on you. Your arm is swelling."

Christian reluctantly lets go of me and sits in the chair morosely. It crosses my mind that he is only putting up with this because his mother is making him. I love watching my dominant, stubborn husband cave in to his mother. I sit up to enjoy the show.

The men carefully remove the sling and I am shocked. Christian's left arm is swollen to twice its size and is already turning black and blue. He winces every time the technicians touch it. They carefully fit the brace on. It goes from his wrist to his shoulder. They pull the Velcro straps tight and Christian winces in pain again. It hurts me to watch him in pain. I've never seen him in physical pain.

There's a soft knock on the door and Carrick peeks in. "Come on in" Grace calls.

Carrick looks serious, concerned. He looks over at the two men tending to Christian and then walks over to the bed, kissing me on the forehead. "Oh, Ana, I'm so glad you're Ok. What a horrible experience for you. I'm so sorry. Are you feeling alright?"

I nod. "But I'm worried about Christian now." I look over and the techs are finishing his brace. His face is grey. "They're bringing you some pain medication, darling. That will make it better."

"I don't take pain pills," he says defiantly.

Grace and Carrick exchange knowing looks. She nods to him silently, asking him to take over.

"Son, you need to take them this time. Your arm is going to hurt worse and we don't need you fainting on us."

Just then a nurse comes in the room with pills for both of us and cups of water. I take mine gratefully. My headache is pounding. Christian waves her away when she brings them to him. Grace takes the pill and the cup of water from her and goes over to Christian. "Open your mouth, Christian" she says with the pills in her hand poised at his mouth. He looks up at her and then takes the pills and puts them in his mouth. He takes the cup and drinks. If I weren't so worried about his pain and what was really wrong with his arm, I would have laughed. I love this obedient Christian, following every directive his mother gives him. It's a side of him I have never seen.

The doctor comes back in. "We just need to give you discharge instructions and then you can go home. Mr. Grey, you'll need to see the orthopedic surgeon in two days. Mrs. Grey, you should feel better when the tranquilizer wears off. We'll have the results of the gynecological exam in the morning. Do you have any questions?" We both shake our heads no.

The nurse comes in and goes through a bunch of papers about our home care. Grace takes all the papers. I'm sure she already knows what to do. "Ok, everybody out while Ana gets dressed. Christian, I have an orthopedic nurse coming home with us and Dad and I will stay with you. Do you want to go to Escala or the new house?"

Christian looks at me questioningly. "The new house?" I ask.

"Ok, the new house, mom."


	9. Chapter 9

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please let me know if you're still reading and enjoying the story. Your feedback motivates me to clean up the next chapter (mostly punctuation) and get it posted.

CHAPTER 9

Everyone leaves the room but Christian and Grace. Grace helps me get my underwear, sweatpants and shirt on. I put these on yesterday morning, so happy, so excited about my new house and the ocean. Everything is different. I don't even know what happened. I let Grace help me off the bed. She insists I get in the wheelchair the nurse left. "Honey, you are still dizzy and weak. We don't want you falling."

Taylor is standing outside the SUV, looking solemn. Sawyer is standing beside the smaller Audi right behind. Grace gets in the front seat next to Taylor after he helps Christian and I in the back seat. I assume Carrick has gone with Sawyer and the nurse.

When we drive up to the house, there are two police cars in front. Ryan opens the front door and I can see several policemen there. Christian gets out of the car, slowly as he winces from the pain. He comes around to get me but Grace is already by my side. Carrick hurries to shadow Christian.

"Christian, we need to get you to bed and get your arm elevated. This is Carol. She's a wonderful nurse. I chose her myself. She will help you get into bed."

Christian looks at the policemen. "I need to talk to these officers," he says firmly.

"We'll send them in as soon as you're comfortable," Grace says just as firmly.

"Come, Mr. Grey. Where is your bedroom?" she asks gently.

Christian looks at the room full of people, sighs loudly and heads for the bedroom.

"Now you, darling" she looks at me. "Let's get you to bed."

"Grace, I'm famished. I didn't eat all day yesterday. Do you think we can find something to eat?"

"Of course, I should have thought of that." She leads me to the kitchen and tells me to sit at the counter. "Let's see what we have here" she muses as she rummages in the refrigerator.

"Grace, what's wrong with Christian's arm? He's in so much pain. I'm worried about him."

She is putting some frozen dish in the microwave. Mr. Jones must have left it. "Well, they think he tore a ligament in his elbow. They won't know for a few days if it needs surgery. If he is a good patient and keeps it elevated and immobile, it may heal without surgery. But that means he has to keep the brace on, and I don't know quite how we're going to manage that." She gives me a knowing look that I understand only too well.

"Well, we'll just have to sit on him" I say without much conviction.

I am starving and the stew tastes like the best think I've ever eaten. Graces watches me intently. "Ana, are you really alright? You've been through a terrible ordeal and I'm worried about you. It's too late to talk tonight but I want to have a long talk in the morning."

"I just want to know what happened. How did Christian get hurt?"

"Apparently he and Taylor caught one of them and Christian got violent. They fought and Christian fell on his arm at one point. I understand the kidnapper got the worst of the deal. He's in the hospital. As you can imagine, Christian was beyond wild when he found you gone."

I am silent, trying to absorb all that has happened.

"Do you think he's mad at me?" I ask quietly.

"No, Darling. Don't worry about that now."

We finish and go to the bedroom where Christian is already in his pajamas and propped up in bed, his arm elevated on a stack of pillows. Carol is taking his pulse. I crawl up on the bed and scoot over to him, kissing him gently on the cheek. "How do you feel?" I've never seen Christian ill or hurt, looking weak. In some ways, it's terrifying.

"Smothered. I'm not going to be very patient about this." He winces as Carol puts an ice pack under his arm.

"Well, now, that would shock the hell out of me." I glare at him, challenging him to correct me.

"Careful, Mrs. Grey, you know how I feel about your cursing."

"Yes, I do. I just wanted to be sure my Christian was in there." I smile.

Taylor knocks on the door. "Mr. Grey can you talk to the police officers for just a minute. We need a decision about security."

Christian nods and Taylor lets two policemen into the room. "Mr. Grey, we'll make this brief. With your permission, we want to leave two police cars and crews here for at least 24 hours, just to be sure. I know you have your own security staff but they have been stretched pretty far through this and they need reinforcements. We can gather in the morning and develop a longer term plan."

"I appreciate that. Taylor, give the officers an orientation to the command center. Then you and Sawyer and Ryan should get some sleep."

"Yes, Sir. We'll take care of it." He looks at me perched on the bed. "Mrs. Grey, are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, Taylor, and thank you for your help. I don't know how you found me but I'm sure glad you did."

Taylor smiles a rare smile. "There was no way we weren't going to find you ma'am."

When the policemen and Taylor leave, Christian reaches up with his good hand and caresses my face. "I love you, Ana. I thought I lost you. I can't live like this. Let's go live on a deserted island." Tears well in his eyes again. He realizes that Carol and his mother are still in the room and looks embarrassed. I know I need to break the spell.

"Christian, I must smell like a wet dog. I'm going to take a shower." I kiss him gently on the lips and crawl off the bed.

Grace stops me as I enter the bathroom. "No shower, honey. You are still too wobbly. I'll draw a bath for you." Geez, I feel smothered too.

I feel so much better after washing my hair and relaxing in the scented oil Grace put in the water. I put on a nightgown and dry my hair, then climb into bed next to Christian. Grace must have joined Carrick

Carol gets up from her chair. "Mrs. Grey, it would be better if you slept in another room tonight. Mr. Grey needs to stay very still."

"No, Mrs. Grey stays. You can leave now. We'll call you if we need you." Carol looks uncertain but gets up to go. "I'll check on you in half and hour" she says kindly. When she is gone, Christian looks intently at me. "Come cuddle with me. I need to touch you. I need to make sure you are really here and that you are OK." His voice is intense, his look fearful.

"Christian, you're the one who isn't Ok. Maybe I shouldn't stay here. I could hurt you in my sleep."

"You're not going anywhere," he says angrily.

"Yes, Sir!" I salute him. It makes him smile at least. 'I still have one good arm, baby, Don't get sassy with me."

"I'm going to get under the covers. Tell me if I hurt you. I'll be as careful as I can." I shake the bed as little as possible as I crawl under the covers. As I settle down, Christian pulls me toward him and draws me under his good arm. My head is on his chest. "Am I hurting you?" I ask.

"Ana, you are exactly where I want you, in my arms. I love you, baby."

"And I love you."

There is a knock on the door and Grace comes in. "I see you have already dismissed your nurse" she says disapprovingly. "Honestly, Christian, it's going to be a long convalescence if you are going to fight us the whole way."

"Mom, I just want Ana by me. She can call the nurse if I need her. Please don't be mad. You and Dad should get some sleep. Did you find everything, sheets and pillows? I don't even know if Gail has set up the spare rooms yet."

"We're fine, darling. Darling. She comes over to the bed and kisses Christian on the cheek and then leans over to kiss me. I'll tuck you into bed" she laughs. "You two go right to sleep. You both need rest. Ana, you be sure to call Carol if Christian's pain gets worse. She'll be sitting right down the hall."

"Good night Mom" Christian says kindly. "And thanks for everything."

"Alone at last" he breathes a sign of relief. Go to sleep, baby. We'll both feel better in the morning."

"Are you going to tell me what happened to you?"

"Yes, but not tonight. I want to know what happened to you. Ana, you were kidnapped for heaven's sake. Are you Ok?

"Yes, Christian. I'm ok. Nothing happened because I slept through most of it. They used chloroform when they captured me."

"Ana, you're so calm about it. You are the strongest person I know. You act like you weren't the victim of a violent crime."

"It's over, Christian. I wasn't hurt. I'm just worried about you." I cuddle closer to him.

"Oh Ana. You are amazing." He leans down and kisses my hair. "We're both wiped out. Go to sleep."

"You're so bossy" I challenge.

"Yes, I am." He smiles down at me.

Moaning, terrible moaning. I awake with a start and Christian is crying in his sleep. He must be in pain. I get off the bed to search for Carol. She is sitting a few feet down the hall, reading a book. "Carol, Mr. Grey is moaning and crying in his sleep."

Carol gets up immediately and follows me to the bedroom. She turns on the bedside light and begins to take his pulse. Christian wakes up with a groan. I watch in dismay. I can almost feel his pain. She touches his swollen arm, inspecting it. She pinches his fingers. "Mr. Grey, here is something for the pain." She hands him some pills and a glass of water. For once, he doesn't argue. He must really be hurting. "I'll get some more ice," she says.

Carol comes back with ice and repositions Christian's arm on the pillows, slipping the ice under his arm. "Can I do anything else?" she asks Christian. "No, I'll be fine" he responds. Carol turns to me. "Come get me if there is any change, OK?"

"I will," I say firmly.

I wake up to see Christian is sitting on the side of the bed. "Are you alright?" I am alarmed. His head is hanging down and he is slumping. I get up and run to his side of the bed. He looks up and I can see that his face is ashen. "I'll get Carol."

I rush to the hall and call to Carol. "Christian's in pain" I sound panicked. Carol comes right away and goes to Christian's side. "Mr. Grey, I'll get you some medicine." He doesn't protest. That's not a good sign. She hands him the pills and a glass of water. "I'm going to the bathroom." He get up slowly and walks stiffly to the bathroom. When he comes back, he sits on the bed again and takes a deep breath. "Let's get you back in bed, Mr. Grey. You need to get some ice on that." She positions him again, puts more ice under his arm and inspects his hand and the swelling in his arm. I feel totally helpless. I never had to take care of Christian. He's never been weak.

Food, maybe breakfast. "I'll make you some breakfast Christian. Just rest. The pills will work soon." I leave him with Carol who is taking his blood pressure as he scowls at her.

Grace and Carrick are already in the kitchen, eating breakfast at the counter. Mrs. Jones is busy cooking more food. "There's our Ana" Carrick says with delight. He gets up to hug me and leads me to a stool at the counter. "How are you feeling this morning?" asks Grace as she takes my hand. She keeps holding it and I realize she is taking my pulse. Always the doctor.

"I'm feeling much better. The headache is almost gone."

"And how is our difficult patient?" she asks.

"Difficult" I say ruefully.

"Mrs. Grey, I'm so glad to see you." Gail comes over and takes my hand in hers. She looks like she is about to cry. I squeeze her hand. "I'm here. I'm fine. It's all going to be OK," I say soothingly.

"I'm going to check on Christian," says Grace as she gets up.

"What can I make you for breakfast ma'am." Mrs. Jones has recovered her crisp demeanor.

"I'd like anything you have, eggs, bacon, pancakes. I'm famished. But I promised to bring Christian something first. Can you make a tray for him?"

"Coming right up" says Gail.

Carrick is staring at me, I notice out of the corner of my eye. I look at him with as much bravado as I can muster. "I'm Ok, Carrick, really? I'm just worried about Christian. How are we ever going to get him to follow orders? He isn't very good at that, you know." I smile.

"Ana, you are a wonder." There is admiration in his voice. "Christian says you are the stronger one and I believe him. You've been through a terrible ordeal and you are still so grounded, so wise. I don't know how Christian deserved you but he couldn't have found a better partner, especially given the crazy life he lives."

I smile at his description of Christian's life. It certainly is not dull. "Well, I didn't sign up for kidnappers and security guards and high stakes takeovers. Frankly I didn't know what I was signing up for. I just loved Christian. The rest came with him and I don't mind saying it has taken some adjusting to get used to it. Sometime, well, most of the time, I just long for a normal life."

Carrick smiles. "I know you do, honey. But that's why you keep Christian grounded. He needs that so badly. He is a complicated man, so gifted, so smart, so stubborn. Grace and I thank God every day that he has you. We have worried about him since we adopted him. He could have turned out damaged, self destructive, or successful and fulfilled. We were glad he took the better path. He's been successful beyond anyone's wildest imagination. But he was never really happy until he met you." He takes my hand in his and squeezes it gently. "That means the most to us."

It feels so right sitting here sharing my feelings with Carrick. He has become a father to me. I can feel his love and acceptance. "Carrick, I hope you and Grace can stay with us for awhile. Christian actually listens to you and I don't know how I can handle him like this. He's not going to be a very good patient."

"We'll stay as long as you need us. We're already working on our schedules to free them up. I don't want you to worry about it." He smiles in a knowing way. "I can still make Christian behave if I want to, and he has always idolized his mother. Grace just has to look at him sternly and he listens."

"I noticed that." I feel a conspiratorial liaison with Carrick. "I saw that in the hospital" I grin. "It made me want to laugh. It's so different from the Christian who wants to control everything in the universe."

"Mrs. Grey, here's Mr. Grey's tray. Do you want me to take it to him? You haven't finished your breakfast."

"No, I'll take it. I'll be right back." I'm enjoying this conversation with Carrick. We never have the opportunity to talk alone.

I take the tray in to Christian and sit it on his lap. Grace is sitting on the other side of the bed and Carol is massaging Christian's arm. He is wincing in pain. She starts to put the brace back on and Christian protests. "Leave it off. I want to eat," he says in a commanding voice.

"Christian, your nurse is in control here, not you. Stop fussing and put the brace on."

Christian scowls and allows Carol to apply the brace.

I start to leave the room and Christian protests, "Where are you going?" he demands.

"To finish my breakfast. I'll be back soon." I hurry out of the room as he grumbles to anyone who will listen. "I've lost all control of my own home. This just won't do."

When I get to the kitchen, Kate and Elliot are there. Kate runs to hug me tightly. "Ana, oh Ana. We were so worried. How are you?" Elliot joins in the hug.

"I'm fine, really. It's Christian I'm worried about. Grace seems to be the only one who can control him. He's not a very good patient."

Elliot grins. "Yeah, Mom has her ways. I'm 31 years old and she can still make me feel like I'm six."

Kate and Elliot join us for breakfast and Carrick begins to fill us in on the details of the kidnapping. Apparently Sawyer followed me to the beach that morning. He was too far behind me so he couldn't stop the motorcyclist from grabbing me. But he called Taylor immediately and Taylor was in pursuit in the car in record time. The police had been closing in on the kidnappers and had their headquarters staked out before I was taken. They watched me being carried in but couldn't risk intervening then.

The police wouldn't tell Christian where I was at first because they didn't want him interfering but Taylor traced it through police radio bulletins. When one of the kidnappers went out of the house, Christian attacked him and a fight ensued. That's when Christian got hurt. They had to subdue him to take him to the hospital so the police could carry out their plan. But he and Taylor managed to rough him enough so the police got a detailed description of what was going on in the house and where I was.

"I remember seeing scary people right before I fainted. Who were they?"

"That must have been the hostage squad. They were in full riot gear when they went in to get you. You weren't fully conscious so it must have just looked like aliens" Carrick explains.

"My gosh, Ana. You must have been terrified. I can't believe you went through this."

"Actually that was the scariest part. I slept through most of it. I only remember one time when I woke up. I was scared but mostly confused and then I fell back to sleep until the police came."

"That was a blessing," says Carrick somberly.

"Was there a ransom? Did Christian have to pay it?"

"No" says Carrick. "It all happened too fast, thank God."

"I want to see Christian," says Elliot. "Do you think that would be Ok, Dad?"

"Yes, but be prepared. He's angry and in pain. Not a good combination for Christian."

"Yeah, I can imagine."

"I have to call my parents. They may hear something on the news."

"We already called them, honey. Grace assured them that you were fine. We told them you would call sometime today."

Christian insists on a shower, much to Carol's disapproval. Finally she acquiesces to his continued demands and removes the brace, replacing it with a sling that she says he can get wet. He refuses to let her help. Only I can shower him, he insists. I carefully remove his clothes and get in the shower with him.

"Now I have you where I want you" he says seductively. "It's just us, little one." He runs his good hand down my face, then my body. He cups my breasts, one at a time and runs his fingers down my torso, stopping between my legs.

"Mr. Grey, we are here to wash you. No hanky panky allowed." I try to sound stern but my body defies me.

"Oh, but Mrs. Grey, hanky panky is the fun part."

"Lower your head. I'm trying to wash your hair," I demand.

"Bossy little thing, aren't you. Who's in charge of this relationship Mrs. Grey?"

"I am," I say with conviction I don't really feel.

"So you say? We'll see about that. I still have one good hand, you know." He is smiling but he lowers his head for me.

I soap up a washcloth and proceed to wash his body. The pain medication must be working because he is responding to my touch. He's getting hard and he springs to life when I grasp his penis to wash it. "This needs extra cleaning" I say seductively. "Hold still so I can make sure it is washed properly." He grins down at me. "Glad to see all my parts are still functioning" he muses.

I dry him off and start to put his pajamas back on. "Nope. I'm getting dressed. Get my jeans."

"Christian, you need to go back to bed. Now put these on like a good boy" I cajole.

"Anastasia, get my clothes. Now!" Well, Christian is back, and with a vengeance. I know that tone. I never win when he uses that.

I go into the bedroom to face a nervous Grace and Carol. "He's demanding to get dressed. We aren't going to win this one" I say with resignation as I collect some clean underwear and jeans. Carol, can we get a shirt on him if it buttons in the front?"

"Yes, I can do that." She doesn't approve, I can tell.

"I go back in the bathroom and help Christian into his jockey shorts and his jeans. "Carol is going to get your shirt on" I tell him.

Carol removes the sling and holds his arm as she gently guides the arm of the short sleeved shirt over it. She helps him get his other arm in and buttons it for him. Then she puts the compression sleeve on his swollen and black arm and reapplies the brace. I wince when I see his whole arm. It looks ugly and painful.

"Get my shoes, Ana," he orders. I ignore his less than polite request and put his shoes and socks on.

"Now, that's better." He goes to the door and walks out of the room. Grace and Carol and I look at each other. The Christian tornado is back. "Carol, I apologize for my son's difficult behavior. I know he is not a good patient. We just have to do the best we can. He's used to being in control and this is very hard for him. He's never been sick or injured before. But he's very healthy and strong and he'll heal, in spite of himself. We just need to be patient."

"Well that's a skill I have developed since I married him," I say ruefully.

We join the others in the kitchen. Elliot and Kate go to hug him and think better of it seeing the huge, black brace on his arm. Elliot pats him gently on his good shoulder and Kate reaches up to kiss him quickly on the cheek. "I'm not going to break" Christian grouses.

It feels so comforting to have my family around me. We spend the day taking turns keeping Christian company and taking care of each other, healing all of the emotional wounds from the terror everyone experienced. Mia was visiting a friend in Florida and she calls at least three times trying to decide whether to come home. Everyone agrees that the last thing we need is Mia's hysterics and Carrick convinces her that everyone is fine and she should stay in Florida.

Taylor calls a conference with the police in Christian's office. The Chief of Police has come for the meeting. It doesn't last long and Christian doesn't deign to give us any details, but he seems relieved. After their meeting, Christian calls me into the office. Only a female police officer remains.

"Ana, the police need to ask you some questions. It won't take long. The female officer obviously has a sensitive subject to discuss. She takes my statement, recording what I tell her about the events. There isn't much. I slept through most of it. "Mrs. Grey, as you know, they did a rape kit at the hospital. The tests were all negative. I wanted to put your mind at rest about that. They didn't harm you."

I have put that possibility out of my mind but it is a relief to know that nothing happened. Christian breathes a sign of relief.

The next few days are spent keeping Christian as immobile as possible. My patience is wearing thin by the third day. Christian is feeling better and refusing pain medication. Without the dulling affect of the narcotic, his normal personality is back and his controlling instincts clash with his forced inactivity. He is back in his office most of the day, taking care of business. I have taken off work to help him. He is frustrated with his one handed state and his temper is barely in check.

"Damn it, Andrea. Where are those reports? Is anyone working there?" he shouts into the phone….no, I want the financials on the shipment….yes, tell John to get the VPN working. I can't get in the system from here."

"Christian, you have to calm down. You're going to have a stroke." I chide.

"Anastasia, if you don't stop ordering me around, I'm going to put you across my knee. I've had enough of your attitude," he shouts angrily. He looks up and Carrick is standing in the doorway.

"Ana, go take a break. I'll help Christian for awhile." I am relived to have Carrick take over. I'm getting to the end of my patience too.

I wander out to the patio and sit down, feeling overwhelmed. Tears spring to my eyes. I can't hold on to the control I've maintained for the past few days. I let the tears flow. My head drops into my hands and I let the sobs envelope me.

I feel her touch before I hear Grace sit down beside me. She pulls me into her arms and lets me sob into her chest. "Poor baby" she croons. "This has been so hard on you. Just cry it out." I'm not even embarrassed. Grace knows what Christian has been like. I don't need to hide it. I let the anger and the frustration pour out. "He can be so mean," I sob.

"I know, darling. That's our Christian. He's so frustrated. He can't help it sweetheart. He'll be back to the loving husband you know soon. I promise."

Her words soothe me. My wracking sobs abate and I cry softly as Grace pats my back.

"You have been so good for him, Ana. You've taught him to laugh and love unconditionally. You have connected him to the world and let him enjoy the love of his family. I know he always felt it but he could never enjoy it. You have been his savior. Don't give up now. This is temporary. I promise. He's a different person now. He'll heal soon."

I nod and sit up. I don't want to drench Grace in my tears. She takes out a handkerchief and wipes my tears. "I've called Dr. Flynn. He's coming over this afternoon. Maybe he can help Christian settle down. Carrick can do that for now but it won't last. Dr. Flynn is better at that."

"That's a good idea" I say relieved that help is coming. "I've used up all my tricks and Christian just gets mad at me now.

"You know, darling. We always take our anger out on the ones we love the most, even if it has nothing to do with them. You are the safest person for him to be angry with. It just shows how much trust there is in your relationship." She is always so wise, I think. How wonderful it must have been to have a mother who was so understanding, so ….competent.

Dr. Flynn arrives at one o'clock. "So who's going to tell Christian we've called you, because that's not going to be me" I look at Dr. Flynn expectantly.

"Apparently he has now intimidated everyone with his anger. I think I can handle this myself. Where is he?"

"In his office, yelling on the phone at all his staff" I say sarcastically. Dr. Flynn knocks on Christian's office door and then bravely enters without an invitation.

I need to call Andrea and let her know what's happening. I make the call from my office. "Andrea, it's Anastasia."

"Hello, Mrs. Grey. It's so good to hear your. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine Andrea. I'm calling about Christian. I don't know if you have heard but his arm is severely injured. He's been in a lot of pain and the doctors have it immobilized in a brace. He's…uh..not taking it well."

"I heard he was injured but we didn't have any other information."

"Well, I just wanted you to know that's he's not himself. I don't want you to take his, uh, his bad temper seriously. He can't help it. He's dealing us all fits. You can imagine that he's not a very good patient."

"Thank you, Mrs. Grey. That helps to know. We are all pretty worried here. Is his arm going to be alright?"

"Yes, it will heal in time. That is, if we can get him to comply with all the restrictions. He's not very happy with them. Should I talk to Ros, too?"

"I'm sure she'd appreciate that, ma'am. Let me get her on the phone. And thank you again. We'll just try to be patient and go with the flow here."

Andrea puts Ros on the phone and I repeat my message. "I really appreciate knowing what's going on, Ana. Of course we're all worried. I've tried to tell Christian that everything is under control but he is isn't happy unless he's in control. He's dealing everyone fits. I'll fill them in on his condition. That will help a lot. Is there anything else I can do?"

"Maybe tomorrow you could come out to talk to him. It might help if he could see you and get all his questions answered. That might help the other staff he is yelling at too." Ros laughs. "Of course, Just let me know what time in the morning and I'll come out."

Dr. Flynn is in Christian's office for over an hour. When he comes out, we all look at him expectantly. "He's better. He wants to see you Ana. Don't be afraid. He won't do you bodily harm. He's just frustrated with his condition." He smiles reassuringly at me.

I enter the office timidly and Christian signals for me to come to him. He reaches out and pulls me in his lap. "Dr. Flynn says I have to apologize to you, actually to everyone. Ana, I am sorry. I'm just so frustrated that it's hard to control. I love you. And I really am grateful that you have taken such good care of me." He kisses me gently on the lips and our kiss becomes an exploration of each other's mouths. It feels so good again.

"I think I'm sexually frustrated," he announces. "Dr. Flynn has given me permission to seduce you," he says with an impish smile. "Tonight we shall explore sex with a one armed man. How does that sound?"

"Delicious. I need you Christian. I'm horney as hell."

"I'll overlook that epithet, just this once" he says sternly. 'Consider it my way of apologizing for threatening to spank you before. My dad chided me for that." He grins. "But I'm glad you want to fuck with a one armed man."

When we get in bed at night, Christian orders me to take off my nightgown. Then he tells me to remove his pajama bottoms. He is at peace now, in his command mode. It is so welcoming to have my dominant husband back. He begins to take off his brace. "You can't do that," I warn. "You'll hurt your arm."

"Mrs. Grey, stop ordering me around. Now, get on top of me. We'll be careful of my arm."

"Ok, but let me prop it on a pillow….please." I plead.

"Ok, prop away."

I get on top of him and he begins to caress my breasts. He squeezes hard. "I love your perfect breasts." He is breathless already and I can feel his erection grow. "Lift up a little" he says a bit more gently. I lift up and he puts his hand between my legs. "Oh, so ready. You never disappoint, my love." He positions me over him and enters me. "Go slowly with me now" he sings. It's the ABBA song he made love to me by. I sink into him and it feels heavenly.

He doesn't move. His eyes close for a moment as if he is inhaling the feel of our joining together. "Oh Ana, you are so perfect. I need you so badly." It is almost a cry.

I begin to move up and down, just a little. He answers my thrusts. He holds my breast with his good hand and begins to move faster. I am touching his chest, feeling his muscles and the tickle of his soft hair. He is such a perfect specimen, even with his sad arm propped up on a pillow.

"Let go, Ana." His voice is husky, his breath rapid. For the first time, I can't seem to let go when he tells me. I'm afraid to hurt him. He has seemed so fragile.

"I won't break, baby." Christian thrusts harder and then we both let go, lying loving each other with our eyes. "We needed that badly, didn't we?" he says softly.

It takes almost three weeks for Christian's arm to heal and to get his brace off. After the first week, he seemed to come to his senses and to get a grip on his emotions. I'm sure that the reduction in pain had a lot to do with it. Carrick and Grace went home. I went back to work. Christian went to his office, brace and all. Every day he went for physical therapy and applied his unique stubbornness to his rehabilitation. I went

with him the first time but I couldn't stand the pain he went through as the therapist stretched and forced his muscles back to life.

Thursday evening I walk into the living room at Escala after a long day at work and Christian is standing by the kitchen breakfast bar without his brace. He is grinning a victory grin. "Hi, baby. Look, two arms."

"Christian, I'm so happy for you. Do you have full range now?"

"Yes, but it's still weaker than it was. It's getting there. I'm finished with therapy so I'll just work on it at the gym on my own."

I cross the room and reach up to put my arms around his neck and kiss him. "I'm so happy to have my Christian back. You are not a good patient" I chide him but I'm smiling. He looks so beautiful, so little boy proud.

"I know, baby. You were so good to me. Now I'm going to start taking care of you again. We need to get back to normal. And I have to find a way to say thank you to my mom and dad. They were wonderful, weren't they?"

"We got really close. It was nice to spend so much time with them and to work together to keep you in line." I smirk at him. "They are such wonderful, loving, competent people. You're lucky you got them as parents, Christian."

"I never forget that." He looks pensive, serious as if he is thinking about all the things his parents have meant to him. It must be unsettling to know you could have had a terrible life or a wonderful one. I only had one life.

Mrs. Jones interrupts our serious discussion. "Welcome home, Mrs. Grey. Are you ready to eat or do you want to change firsts?"

"Let me change quickly. I'll only be five minutes."

We sit down at the breakfast bar. Christian has poured wine. He looks over at me. "Anastasia, you have lost weight again. And you have dark circles under you eyes. I think you have spent so much energy taking care of me that you have forgotten to take care of yourself. We'll have to rectify that."

"I'm fine, Christian. Don't start fretting about me. It has actually been nice not having someone bossing me around."

"Oh, really, Mrs. Grey?" He stares at me, making me feel uneasy.

"Come on, eat your dinner. Gail, has Mrs. Grey been eating while I was ill?"

I give Gail a warning look. She looks apologetically at me then turns to Christian. "Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey was terribly worried about you. She understandably didn't have her normal appetite." At least she tried, I note.

"Just as I thought. Well, we'll have to help her put that weight back on. She's skin and bones. Pick up your fork, Anastasia. I want you to belong to the clean plate club."

I can't help laughing at his childish dictate. Even Gail chuckles as she cleans up the kitchen.

"Come" Christian orders when he has cleaned his plate and I have pushed mine away, only half eaten. At least he isn't going to make a big deal of that.

He leads me to the bedroom. "Anastasia, we have to talk. I don't like what has happened to you in the last three weeks. I'm back. I'm going to take care of you again. I want you to answer me honestly. How much sleep have you been getting?"

"Enough" I try to sound unconcerned.

"Just as I thought. You've been going to sleep after me and getting up before me. We need to do something about that. I want you to get at least eight hours of sleep a night. We begin tonight." He pulls me to him as he sits on the bed and starts to undress me.

"Hey, it's only eight o'clock" I protest pulling away. I'm going to finish some work. I have a few synopsis to write that I didn't finish today." I head to the door and Christian is across the room in a flash. He picks me up in one swoop and carries me back to the bed. He sits down with me on his lap.

"Mrs. Grey, you have been on your own for three weeks and you have been bossing me around every single day. Not that I didn't need it. I'm grateful that you took such good care of me. But we need to get you healthy now. " He looks at me seriously.

I knew this day would come. Poor Christian has been following the orders of his mother, his father, his nurse, his therapist, me. He hasn't been in control and it has been hard on him.

"I'm feeling very, very dominant, baby." His look is sensual. I expect his alter ego to appear any minute. "And I want to take care of you."

I have to be careful here. My beautiful husband has been through a rough time. I know he wants to be normal again. "I'm not sure how I feel about that. If I'm honest, it's been kind of nice not having my every move controlled." I gently run my hands over his chest. "But I have missed the sex. Think we can get back to our daily routine of mad, passionate sex? I say coquettishly and give him my most seductive grin.

"That too." He says and smiles back at me. "But you're avoiding the elephant in the room. It shocks me how you live when left to your own devices. You have lost weight so I know you haven't been eating. There are dark circles under your eyes, which means you haven't been sleeping. You don't tell me where you're going or when you'll be home from work. "

"Well, you haven't been such a prize the last few weeks, either. I've been worried about you. I understand that the pain and the physical limitations have been hard on you. I've tried my best to help you through it. Why are you mad at me now? You know, this hasn't been a cake walk for me either." Now I'm mad. Can't he give me some credit for being patient with him while he ranted and raved and argued about everything he needed to do to get well"

"I'm not mad at you. Far from it. And everything you say is true. I do understand how hard it has been for you. That's why I want to take care of you now. Anastasia, you have been through a rough time and you have taken responsibility for me and for our marriage these last few weeks. Your willingness to do that is an expression of your love for me and I want you to know how much I love you for it. But the effort has taken a toll on you, physically and emotionally. It is my turn to take care of you now. You will let me do that.

I listen to his lecture with growing sense of relief. He's back to being Christian, the man I love and who loves me. I feel the responsibility and the tension of the past few weeks slip away. For a while, I relax and enjoy the feeling of normalcy, of security.

"Hands up" he orders. I comply and he takes off my shirt, then my bra. He hooks his hands through my panties and pulls them down. "Step" he says. When I am naked, he helps me crawl up on the bed, then begins to take off his clothes. I watch in fascination as my gorgeous husband's body is revealed. ''

He climbs up on the bed with me. Now this is more like it. I've missed my sexy husband. He gets in bed next to me and begins to touch me on the head. He draws his fingers through my long hair, pulling it forward so it lies over my shoulders and on to my breasts. He moves it aside and begins to suckle my nipples. Oh, it feels heavenly. He kisses and nips at my stomach and down my leg, first one and then the other.

My stomach clenches deep inside and my legs writhe. "Hold still" he commands and looks up at me sternly. My legs stiffen in the beginning of an orgasm. "No" he says firmly. He scoots down to the end of the bed and crawls between my legs, pushing them apart. "Now I shall thank you for taking care of me by taking care of you." His voice is sultry but very dominant.

I squirm with the intense feeling. "Mrs. Grey, do we have to start all over teaching you to be still?" he asks sternly. His dominant voice is so darn sexy. He starts again, caressing me with his mouth. I am on fire, aroused.

He scoots back up so we are aligned and lifts my hips to meet him, then enters me, fast, completely taking possession of me. He rams into me, again and again, faster and faster. "You may orgasm now" he says in that stern voice that sends me over the top. My orgasm peaks and then goes on and on while Christian comes inside me, calling my name in ecstasy.

When we have both calmed our release, we are still, holding each other's eyes lovingly. Christian leans on his elbows. "Feel better?" he asks, smiling.

"Oh, Christian, I love you so much it hurts."

"And I love you, more than you can even imagine."

He rolls off me and gets off the bed. "Do you have to use the bathroom before I tuck you in?" he asks. I get up to use the bathroom. I feel completely different. Gone is the tension and stress of the past few weeks. My body is relaxed, my emotions calmed.

When I return, Christian has straightened the bed and turned down the sheet. "Climb in" he orders. I get in the bed, sitting up.

"Oh, no you don't." He gently pushes me down and tucks the sheet tightly under the mattress. Then he lays on top the covers next to me. "I'll stay with you for awhile but you must close your eyes."

"Christian, I'm not tired. It's not even nine o'clock," I protest.

"It's five to nine and your bedtime is nine. Close your eyes." He is adamant. I squeeze my eyes closed. "Anastasia, I was quite serious. You are going to get back on track and we start tonight.

I sigh loudly, but close my eyes. Christian strokes my hair and I find myself drifting off, sated and happy. My Christian is back, we are back. It feels so normal again.

I awake with a start when the alarm goes off. That is the longest I've slept since the kidnapping and Christian's injury. I feel refreshed. Christian is already up. I put on a robe and head for the kitchen. Christian is sitting at the counter, reading a paper. "Good morning Mrs. Grey. You look better already." He kisses me and lifts me on a stool.

"I feel better. I can't believe I slept ten hours."

"You were a good girl" he smiles knowingly.

Gail hears me and comes into the kitchen. "Good morning, Mrs. Grey. What will you have for breakfast?"

"Just some toast" I respond automatically. It's all I've been eating for breakfast.

"Mrs. Grey will have two scrambled eggs, bacon and the toast. Also, please bring her some orange juice." He watches me, not Gail, as he says this sternly.

"Yes, Sir, Mr. Grey." Mrs. Jones doesn't miss much. She can tell what is happening, especially after the conversation yesterday when he asked if I had been eating. She brings my breakfast and the juice and gives me a sympathetic look as she puts it in front of me.

"You can go get ready for work as soon as you finish your breakfast" he points to the plate of food in front of me. Then he turns back to his paper. I pick up my fork. No point in arguing. I eat slowly, trying to make room in my stomach, which has obviously shrunk. Finally I finish the last of the toast.

Much better" says Christian. "Shower with me?"

The next day is Friday, my favorite day, made even better because we get to go to our new home for the weekend. Taylor is standing outside the car when I come out of Grey Publishing. Christian greets me warmly as I slide in the back seat.

"I'm looking forward to our weekend retreat," says Christian. He is in his grey suit, well, one of them, but has taken off his tie. We cover all the highlights of our day on the way to the house.

When we arrive, Christian says Mrs. Jones left dinner in the oven. We change our clothes into the comfortable sweats we can wear in our hideaway. I serve dinner in the breakfast room, being careful to put a very small portion on my plate. Christian looks down at his plate and then at mine. "Very clever, Mrs. Grey, but it won't do."

He gets up and takes my plate into the kitchen. When he returns and puts it in front of me, it has much more food on it.

"What did you eat for lunch?" he asks in a casual tone. Uh, Oh. He's not going to be happy. "I'm sorry, I just got busy and forgot."

"We'll need to find a solution for that" he says ominously. We eat peacefully but there is no way I can clean my plate. I put my fork down. Christian leans over and separates some of the rice and chicken from the rest. He points to the smaller portion. "Eat that much" he commands.

I stick my tongue out at him and scowl. He laughs. "You are such a little girl sometimes."

I finish the portion I have been commanded to eat. "You have one hour to bedtime," he announces. Want to take a walk with me?" We put on our jackets and head out the door and across the meadow. "I want to see how progress is coming on the wall," he says. After my kidnapping, Christian ordered a brick wall be built around our property. There is only one gate to the beach. We can still see the ocean beyond but it restricts my view of the beach.

"I want to see the command center." I have been meaning to take a tour of it. We head in that direction. Christian pushes some buttons on the pad by the door and opens it. "It's just us, Taylor" he calls. The place is a marvel of electronics. Surrounding a large U-shaped desk is a half circle of flat screen TV's, all showing a different part of the grounds and the house.

"Good evening Sir, Mrs. Grey. How are you this evening?"

"We're fine Taylor. You have quite a setup here. Did you see my kidnapping on one of these TV's?"

Taylor looks uneasy. "Mrs. Grey, we didn't have cameras on that part of the beach at the time. We have rectified the situation since then."

"And Mrs. Grey now knows not to go to the beach without telling us," adds Christian giving me a stern look.

We walk around the outside of the house admiring it, holding hands. Christian swings our arms together. I love just taking a walk with him, even though I have to keep reminding him to slow down. His legs are so long that he can easily cover twice the distance I can. The house is stunning, large and elegant. We come around to the patio door. "Ok, time for bed," announces Christian.

"Are you coming with me?" I ask hopefully.

"Only to be sure you get tucked in." He smiles down at me. Damn, this is going to get old fast.

"Christian, I hardly saw you all week. I was looking forward to spending the evening with you." I pout.

"We have all weekend, baby. Your health is the priority right now. No arguments" he says sternly. In a repeat of the night before, Christian helps me into my nightgown and tucks me in bed, then lies down beside me. "You'll feel much better soon and then we go back to your own schedule," he promises. "I know you're not happy with this but I want you to get better. Now, close your eyes. Want me to sing to you?"

"Oh yes, I love when you sing.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Saturday evening we have a corporate function to go to. Christian will be giving out awards to some of the Grey Enterprises superstars. Apparently it's an annual event that is a time for all the CEO's and executives and division leaders to celebrate the success of the year. I have brought a steel blue formal from Escala, with matching shoes and clutch and my diamond earrings. I also brought the beautiful bracelet Christian bought me in the Riviera, which I hardly ever wear. It is just too expensive and I'm always afraid I'll lose it. I want to look especially nice tonight because this is the first time I will be meeting all the Grey Enterprise staff and I want Christian to be proud of me.

Christian has been in his office most of the morning and I have been reading on the patio. I have already grown to love this new home. It is such a different life than we lead at Escala. For one thing, it is more private. The security staff have their own place and the household help do all the cleaning and maintenance during the week when we are at Escala. We have the house mostly to ourselves except for the Saturdays that Mrs. Jones works because we are having company.

I also love the access to the great outdoors. At Escala, I rarely go out on the terrace because the glass walls are terrifying so high up. I must mention this to Christian. If we could replace them with solid walls, I might use the balcony more often. Here, I can sit outside on the terrace, take a walk. It is liberating. I think Christian feels it too. He doesn't need to be hidden in a castle at the top of the world, safe from all contact with humanity any more. He loves the casual lifestyle we have created here. His family must feel more comfortable here too because they drop by more often. We have at least one group of guests every weekend.

Christian ambles in and sits on the bottom of the lounge chair. "You look comfortable out here with your book and your tea" he grins at me. "I think our new home suits you."

"I love it Christian. I was just thinking how nice it is to sit outside and read, to hear the roar of the ocean in the background and to gaze out at our meadow and woods. It's heaven."

"It's almost time for your nap, baby. Finish up the chapter you're on and then come get me. I'll tuck you in. We have a big night tonight."

I scowl. "I do not need a nap, Christian. I am not tired and I slept nine hours last night."

"But we have a very late night tonight and I want you rested. Do you have all the things you need, dress, shoes, diamonds?" he grins.

"Yes, I'm wearing the blue gown. Is that OK?"

"It matches your eyes. I can't wait to show you off to all the company people. Ros says they're all curious to meet the woman who caught Christian Grey. You will be the center of attention Mrs. Grey."

"That doesn't sound very comfortable."

"I will be right by your side the whole time, except when I am at the podium," he adds.

"So what can I expect? What's the usual protocol?"

"There's a cocktail hour first. I have to mingle, greet as many people as possible. They like that. This time will be different because I will be introducing you." He gives me his delighted smile. "Then we have dinner and then the program. I will be giving out some annual awards. There's an innovation award, a quality award, that kind of thing."

"Any orders for me?"

"Just be yourself, Ana. This is a thrill for me, to show off my beautiful, brilliant, respectful wife. I'm very much looking forward to it."

I smile up at him. He really is happy about this.

"Didn't you ever take anyone to the event?"

"No, I always went alone. Another first for me." And he smiles his full, radiant, elated smile. "Now, finish up here and get ready for your nap.

"Christian, I am not taking a nap. I am not tired. I am enjoying myself just sitting here reading. Besides, reading is restful."

"Anastasia, rebellion will get you nowhere, except perhaps across my knee. Do as I say. We have a big night ahead." With that, he gets up to go back to his office.

When he returns, he holds me for a long while, then says, "Now will you take your nap like a good little girl." He kisses my forehead and pulls a sheet up over me. With that he is gone.

I am suddenly tired. My eyes droop and, before I know it, I am fast asleep.

Christian is sitting on the bed, stroking my hair. "Baby, it's time to get up and get ready to go. You had a nice, long nap. I brought you some juice. Can you sit up?"

I sit up, rubbing my eyes. "Were you watching me sleep?" I ask sleepily. My subconscious is telling me he did.

"Yes, I love to watch you sleep. Sometimes you talk and I get some insight into what you must be thinking."

"Did I talk?" I am always horrified by the thought of what I might say in my sleep.

"You were pouting," he says with a smile. "You were mad at me."

"I hate being so transparent in my sleep. Don't you ever feel like a voyeur, listening to my private thoughts?"

"Not at all. You're my wife. I want your private thoughts." He is smug and sounds proud of himself.

"Let's get in the shower. We have a big night ahead."

Christian is even more gentle and attentive than ever. He washes my hair and my body, taking great care with my private parts. When we emerge from the shower, he wraps a towel around his waist and proceeds to dry me carefully,

I have curled my hair into soft waves hanging down my back. I have applied light makeup. I'm standing in my light blue camisole and stockings. All that is left is the dress. "Christian, will you help me with my dress?"

"With pleasure, Mrs. Grey. My, you look sexy in your state of undress. I wish we had time to do something about that. Will you take a rain check for after the dinner?

"Of course, Mr. Grey. A rain check is always appreciated."

He helps me step into the dress and pulls it up over my one shoulder. It has a wide strap across one shoulder, the other one is bare. He zips me up and turns me around. "Oh, Mrs. Grey, how beautiful you look. I will have the prettiest woman at the dinner."

"I have something for you. He goes to the dresser and takes something from the top drawer. It is a Cartier box that he hands to me. I open it. There is a stunning diamond drop in a platinum setting with a wide platinum necklace. The stone and the setting match my engagement ring and the diamond earrings. "Oh Christian, it's absolutely beautiful. The diamond is gorgeous. It must have cost a fortune."

"You are not to worry about the money," he says sternly. "I thought we were over that. Besides, you are the wife of the owner of Grey Enterprises and I want everyone in the company to know it. I want them to know that You. Are. Mine." He kisses me between each word.

I reach up and give him a lingering kiss. "Thank you" I whisper.

"Turn around" he commands taking the necklace. He fastens it around my neck. "Go and look in the mirror, You look stunning."

I have the same feeling I did the first time I dressed elegantly. That was for the Coping Together ball. I look like I stepped out of a fashion magazine, elegant in a way I never thought I would be. I look up at Christian. He is staring at me in the mirror, approval written all over his face.

"You look hot too," I say. He's in a black tuxedo with a black bow tie. He looks stunning too.

Christian has rented a black limousine for the evening. He wants to arrive in style befitting the CEO of Grey Enterprises. Taylor is driving. He looks at me appreciatively as I walk to the car. "Good evening Mrs. Grey. You look lovely."

"Thank you Taylor." Christian helps me get in the back of the limo. "You seem really excited, Christian. Do you look forward to this event?"

"Not ordinarily. Usually it's just another responsibility of the job. This year is different because I have you on my arm. I can't wait to show you off. You look gorgeous." He looks at me sensually.

We arrive at the hotel where the banquet will be held and Taylor jumps out to open the door. Christian takes my arm and we enter the banquet hall. It's much larger than I expected. There must be at least fifty beautifully decorated tables. At the front of the room is a raised tier of tables with a podium in the center. At the back of the enormous room are three bars. About thirty people are already there, talking in small groups and drinking.

Christian moves smoothly toward the group. Someone notices us and a buzz emerges. Heads turn. Silence descends. Oh no. This is awkward. Christian ignores the reaction and simply walks up to the closest group. "Good evening, everyone. I'd like you to meet my wife, Anastasia." He beams at me.

"We're so pleased to meet you Mrs. Grey." Introductions are made all around. Some of them work for Christian, some are spouses. I'll never remember any of their names. Christian takes my arm again. "Excuse us, I'm going to get my wife a drink."

He loves saying 'my wife.' I grin up at him. He's so happy. It makes me want to throw my arms around his neck.

"What would you like, Anastasia. Some white wine, perhaps?"

"Yes, that would be fine." He orders two glasses and I sip. Oh, Christian chose the wine. I can tell. "Did you choose the wine for tonight?" I ask.

"Yes, ma'am. I didn't want to leave that detail to someone else's imagination. It's the best."

This must be costing him (oops, us) a fortune. Open bar. Servers carrying hor'doeurves, a full course dinner. I know the employees must look forward to this.

Christian takes my arm and moves me to the next group, repeating the introductions. People try not to stare but I can feel everyone's eyes on us. They have obviously been looking forward to seeing the woman who caught Christian Grey. I bet they also wonder what our relationship is like, knowing the controlling, brilliant CEO they experience at work. It must be a switch seeing him so happy, so solicitous of me. I really could get used to this feeling. This man, who they all look up to, is mine. All mine. It's a heady feeling.

We make the rounds and Christian introduces me proudly to all of them. A few mention my role at Grey Publications. Christian looks proudly at me "Anastasia's the brains behind Grey Publications. So far, she's had three books on the Times Best Seller list and she is just getting started." Gad, does he have to brag so obviously. I feel the blush in my face and Christian just looks at me, amused.

At exactly eight o'clock, Christian leads me to the raised, head table and seats me next to his place, which is next to the podium. His senior staff must be watching him closely because those at the head table appear and take their seats where their name cards are located. Apparently these are the CEO's of his various companies.

He goes to the podium and announces, "If everyone will please take your seats, dinner will be served. The program will begin after the main course."

He sits, looking very pleased with himself. He leans over and whispers, "You are beautiful. I'm so proud of you. You are making quite a show."

"Christian, I think it is you who is making the show. I don't think these people have ever seen you quite like this. It's obvious they are shocked."

"Good. I wanted to make a statement."

Dinner, it turns out, is three courses, served elegantly by waiters in black pants and white shirts and vests. There is a chatter as all the guests enjoy the food and especially the free flowing drinks. Several kinds of wine are at each table, and some still make trips to the bar for mixed drinks. Christian looks briefly t the bars in the back of the room and frowns. He motions to Andrea who is sitting at a table directly in front of us. She gets up and comes up to Christian. "I told them to close the bar when inner started. I don't want anyone driving home drunk. Please get those bars closed." His tone and demeanor are all CEO.

"Yes, Sir" says Andrea quietly. "I'll see to it." I watch her go to a man in a tuxedo standing by the door. He walks over to each of the three bars. They are closed immediately.

I notice a lot of furtive looks our way as the curious watch our relationship. What they will see, I realize, is a very attentive Christian, pouring wine for me, putting his arm around me between courses, whispering in my ear. If he weren't always this way with me, I would think he was putting on a show. But I know Christian better than that.

After everyone has finished the main course, Christian takes the podium again. "I want to welcome each of you to the sixth annual awards banquet for Grey Enterprises. Before we commence with the awards, I would like to introduce you to my wife, Anastasia." He looks down at smiles and me. "We tried to get around the room during the cocktail hour but I know we missed some of you. On behalf of Mrs. Grey and myself, I would like to thank you for the good wishes you extended on the occasion of our marriage. As you know, Mrs. Grey holds a position at Grey Publishing. She is the brain behind the success of three best sellers so far. There is polite applause.

He pauses to let that sink in. "Mrs. Grey and I are pleased to preside over the awards we are giving tonight. We have had another very successful year and it took all of you to make that happen. I know you have all worked exceptionally hard to keep our companies on target as we grow and realize the potential we have. I would like to introduce you to the people at the head table who have led that success."

Christian goes on to name a few of the major success of the year, the companies that have been acquired, the technological breakthroughs. He speaks without notes, smoothly and conversationally. He is so impressive I can't help staring in awe. He's beautiful anyway but a tux puts him over the edge. He's so in command, so definitely the leader of this mega company, so admired, and perhaps feared, by the hundreds of people in this room. All of them depend on him, I realize. It's an overwhelming thought. I look at him again, so proud and so in command of the room. How can I not be proud of this amazing man?

When he gets to the awards, he gives a background for each of them and a short bio of the recipients. There are three of them and I wonder how Christian prepares to say all of this without a single note in hand.

Each recipient comes up to receive a trophy and an envelope to the applause of the group. Christian shakes their hands warmly. I wonder what's in the envelopes and remind myself to ask Christian. I'll bet it is a big check. That would be like Christian. He knows how to reward as well as punish. And he is serious about both.

He ends the program with a challenge to make this year an even bigger success and a warm thank you for "your loyalty, your creativity and your exceptional effort." Then he pauses and leans into the microphone. His voice is very different, low and serious, even stern. "I trust that all of you have a designated driver arranged for the evening. If those plans fall through, please avail yourself of one of the cabs lined up out front. They have already been paid so please use them. I want you all to be safe."

Wow. That was so…Christian. It was his way of saying 'don't you dare drive if you have been drinking.' I'm quite sure everyone in the room got the message.

Everyone claps and stands to say goodbyes and to find people they still want to talk to. Many rush forward to talk to Christian, and, it turns out, me. They introduce themselves to me and thank Christian for a wonderful evening. He is gracious but very formal with each of them. I love watching him in this role. It's the first time I have ever seen him in the ceremonial role of CEO. As with everything else, he is more than competent. He is awesome.

We mingle with the remaining guests as we make our way to the door. "Great event, Mr. Grey", a few call to him. I feel like a queen with Christian's arm around me and I have that thrill I have become more used to, that thrill that Christian is mine. No one at Grey Enterprises doubts that, not with his protective arm around my shoulder.

My period is late. Does that mean I'm pregnant? I stopped taking birth control pills over two months ago, ever since Christian and I decided we were ready to be parents. But we thought it might take months to actually conceive. Maybe it's just late because of all the stress of the kidnapping and Christian being hurt and my not getting enough sleep. I decide not to say anything, just wait and see.

Christian has to go to New York again, this time for four days and I am in a funk about it already. I hate when he's gone. Of course we have the usual argument about my going with him, but this time I prevail. I ride with him to the airport and get on the Grey private jet to say goodbye in private.

"I'm going to miss you, baby" he says softly as he pulls me to him and nuzzles my hair.

"I'm going to miss you too, Christian."

"Will you promise to behave while I'm gone? You know how I worry when I'm out of town and I really wish you would be extra careful."

"I will. I promise."

We kiss so long I need to come up for air. Then I turn quickly so he doesn't see the tears in my eyes and start down the stairs of the plane. Christian calls a soft goodbye as I climb back in the Audi. Sawyer pulls away and I look out the back window to take one more look at the plane. Christian is standing in the open door to the plane, waving.

My period still doesn't start and I am dying to know whether I am pregnant. I'm driving my beloved R8 and Sawyer is tailing me, of course. I have really become used to the security and have learned not to fight it. This makes Christian very happy. My dodging security was what almost all our fights were about, and since the kidnapping, I haven't the heart to stress him out anymore.

I need to buy a pregnancy kit and I sure don't want Sawyer along for that purchase. I pull into a Walgreens and park. Sawyer pulls next to me and I round the car to go to his window.

"Luke, I'll just be a minute. Wait here" I say with as much authority as I can manage.

"I should really accompany you." Luke looks uncertain.

"I'll be right out. Stay." That's what Christian would say and it works for him. I turn quickly and hurry into the store. I find the pregnancy test and pay for it quickly, embarrassed to be buying it, but the young boy with a pimply face doesn't seem to even know what it is. He mechanically scans it and drops it in a bag.

I am on a mission as I enter the apartment. "Good evening Mrs. Grey. What would you like for dinner?" asks Gail warmly.

"Give me half an hour" I call as I head for the bedroom. "Whatever you have will be fine."

I drop my briefcase and purse and stare at the bag. Do I want to know? Now that I'm excited about the possibility, I'm going to be disappointed it the test is negative. I open the package and read the instructions. That sounds easy enough. I take off my dress and shoes and go in the bathroom in my bra and panties. I pee according to the directions, dip the stick in and wait for the results. One minute passes, then two. Two lines appear in the window. I gasp. Can this be right? If it is, I'm pregnant.

I go back in the bedroom and sit down on the bed, still holding the stick with my future on it. My heart starts pounding. We have a baby. Christian is ready. He wants this and so do I. Our love made a baby. I lay on the bed to let the news sink in. I must make an appointment with Dr. Greene so I can be sure. These home tests can be wrong, I've heard.

My phone rings and I jump. It seems like such an intrusion. I fish it out of my purse, knowing it is Christian.

"Hi, baby. How was your day?" he says cheerfully.

I have to sound normal. I'm not going to tell him over the phone when he is thousands of miles away. "Fine, how's New York?" I try to sound as normal as possible. I must have pulled it off because Christian launches into the details of his latest business deal.

"I miss you," I say longingly.

"I miss you too, baby. Only two more days."

I go out to the kitchen where Mrs. Jones has dinner ready for me. She stays in the kitchen, cooking dinners to freeze for the weekend. She tries to keep me company when I eat without Christian. Usually I am grateful for this but tonight I want to be alone with my thoughts.

Dr. Greene's receptionist gives me an appointment for the next day. The Grey name does have its perks, I think. I can't keep my mind on my work as it frequently drifts back to my tummy.

I remember going through these tests the last time, but I was certainly not happy about the outcome then. This time, my hopes are totally different. Dr. Greene comes back in the room where I sit in a hospital gown, nervously twisting my wedding ring. "Congratulations, you are pregnant Mrs. Grey."

She said it. It's confirmed. We have a baby. I grin, a stupid, private, out of this world grin. Dr. Greene gives me a rare smile. "Here is a list of things you need to do, and the vitamins you'll need to take. I think you know the routine. No drinking. Get plenty of sleep, eat nutritiously…. She goes on with the list but I have tuned out. How to tell Christian. It has to be special. Now I can't wait until he gets back tomorrow.

I have decided how and where I will tell him. It has to be in his office where we first met. I don't know why I think it has to be there, but it does. Back to the beginning. I call Andrea.

"Andrea, I need you to make an appointment for me to see Christian but I don't want him to know it's me. I want it to be a surprise. Can you arrange that?" I wonder if she guesses what the surprise is. I guess it doesn't matter. She won't say anything.

"Of course, Mrs. Grey. I can tell him the meeting is with someone else, Ros, maybe. Mr. Grey always wants to know who is on his calendar so I will have to tell him something."

"That sounds fine. Is he available tomorrow around one o'clock?"

"Yes, I can make that work."

"Thanks Andrea. I'll see you then."

Friday arrives. The big day. Christian returned home Wednesday night and it has been really hard to keep the secret. But I want it to be special. I gather a notebook and a tape recorder I located at work. I tell Hannah I have an appointment and will not be back for the afternoon. . Now, to get around Sawyer. I go out and look for him on the street. I know he's here somewhere. All I have to do is walk toward my car and he appears.

"Sawyer, I'm going to Christian's office but I want to surprise him, so please don't call him and tell him I've left the office, OK?"

"If you say so ma'am."

"Promise? This is important."

He smiles at me. "Promise" he says.

I arrive at Grey House and call the elevator, memories of my first visit here flooding my mind. When the door opens on the top floor, I cautiously peek out to make sure Christian isn't in the lobby. Andrea waves me in.

"Mr. Grey is in his office. Shall I tell him his appointment is here?" She winks at me in a conspiratorial way.

"Yes, I'm ready."

"Mr. Grey, your appointment is here," she says into the phone. "Yes Sir."

Andrea winks again and waves at the door to Christian's office."

I open the door and see Christian behind his enormous desk. He looks gorgeous in his dark grey suit and silver tie, every bit the executive in charge of his world. My heart skips a beat just looking at his beautiful face. He looks up at me, surprised. Before he can say anything, I speak up.

"Mr. Grey, my name is Anastasia Steele. I'm substituting for Katherine Kavanagh who was supposed to do this interview. I hope you don't mind." I am standing awkwardly in the doorway.

Christian blinks then stands up to come around his desk. "Welcome to Grey House Miss Steele." Oh good, he is playing along. "Would you have a seat?" he motions to the couch.

I sit down. "I love your artwork," I say softly. "Taking the ordinary to the extraordinary." I gaze at the wall sized piece I admired so long ago.

He blinks and stares at me. He remembers. "You don't say." He looks amused.

I put the tape recorder on his coffee table and take out my notepad. "Do you mind if I record the interview?" I ask. It's not just that I want to recreate the original interview on tape, I want to have my announcement on tape so we always have the memory of Christian's reaction.

"Not at all" he tilts his head and his eyes are crinkling with humor.

"So, Mr. Grey, I understand you are in the publishing business now too, in addition to your other companies. What interested you about publishing?"

He is silent for a minute and I can tell he is deciding how to answer in this fake interview. "I married a woman who is a brilliant editor. It's really her company. I don't know anything about publishing. But Mrs. Grey has three books on the Times Best Seller list. I'm very proud of her."

"What do you and Mrs. Grey do in your free time? I imagine that is quite precious with both of you having demanding jobs."

"We have social engagements but we take time for each other." He gives me a sensual look. "We like to sail, we love music and we spend time with family and friends. Among other things" he adds sensually.

"How do you manage to keep so many companies running smoothly and profitably? It must be quite a challenge."

He stares at me impassively. I can tell he is wondering where this is going. "I have good people who I can trust to carry out my orders. I run a tight ship, Miss Steele. It's not as hard as it seems if there is a culture of responsibility and discipline."

I try to keep my neutral look but my heart soars as I see that he is walking right into my lair.

"You sound like quite the disciplinarian, Mr. Grey."

"Yes, I am. At work and at home." Now he is playing with me, trying to break my performance and make me reveal my intent.

"Do you and Mrs. Grey plan to have a family?" I ask innocently.

"That's a rather personal question, Miss Steele, but yes, we do plan to have children some day."

"With all your wealth, Mr. Grey, I imagine they will be quite spoiled." I look at him disapprovingly.

"I can assure you, my children will not be spoiled, indulged maybe, but never spoiled. There is a difference."

"Oh, so you have already considered what kind of father you want to be?"

"Not in a detailed way but I think my own parents were excellent role models. They loved us unconditionally but they made sure we behaved and grew up to be responsible adults."

Now I have an opening. It's time. I look at him directly, challenging. "Mr. Grey, I like your answers. I must admit that you turn me on. I think I'd like to marry you and have your babies." I give him my most seductive look.

"Miss Steele, I must advise you that you already married me," he says with his lopsided smile.

"Mr. Grey, I must advise you that I am already having your baby too."

Christian's entire body reacts. He looks startled, then confused, then a huge grin appears on his face. "Oh, baby," he croons as the news sinks in. He gets up from the chair and sits beside me on the couch. He takes my arms and holds me away from him, asking for confirmation. "Really? You're pregnant?"

I nod, grinning from ear to ear. He pulls me into his arms and holds me tight. There are tears in my eyes. I pull back to look in his face and his eyes are glistening too. We sit there, basking in each other's warm gaze, staring into each other's eyes.

"I can't believe it. Ana, I'm so happy. I'm going to be a father."

"Don't forget I'm going to be a mother."

"Wow. The possibilities. How far are you? Did you see Dr. Greene? When did you find out?"

We spend the next hour just holding each other and marveling at the idea of having a child. I tell him about my appointment with Dr. Green, that I am almost two months along and that the baby seems healthy.

"Why did you tell me here instead of at home?" he finally asks.

"I wanted to tell you where it all started. Our wonderful life would not have happened if I had not stumbled into your office that fateful day. I wanted to recreate it."

"That you did, baby. It took me back. Even the questions and the comment about my artwork. For a minute, I almost thought I was talking to Ana Steele."

Christian's phone buzzes and he gets up to push a button on his phone. I can hear Andrea say, "Mr. Grey, your next appointment will be here in five minutes."

"Andrea, I think you forgot to tell me something about my last appointment. His voice is teasing in a way I'm sure Andrea has not experienced often, if ever."

"I hope you don't mind, Sir. Mrs. Grey wanted to surprise you," she apologizes.

"It was a wonderful surprise. Please cancel the rest of my appointments for today. I need to take Mrs. Grey home."

"Yes, Sir."

Christian, of course, doubles his efforts to protect me. He says it's because he now has two to protect. After the relative freedom of having my own car, I am again consigned to my chauffer/security guards. I miss my car but Christian is adamant about the safety rules and will brook no argument. After my kidnapping, I do take the threats more seriously and find myself feeling safer with Taylor or Sawyer. My newfound respect for security eases the tension Christian and I had always had over the risks I used to take.

Kate and I decide to have dinner together. Christian has an evening video conference with some company on the other side of the world. I'm just over three months pregnant and feeling more secure that I'm not going to miscarry again. Sawyer drops me off at Kate's but I know he is parked out front. I throw myself down on Kate's couch and she brings me an iced tea. "Sorry it's not wine Steele" she says apologetically. "So, how's the nausea?"

"Getting better. I stopped throwing up in the morning last week. At least I think it's over. It really bothers Christian. I have to keep telling him it's a good sign, not the end of the world." I smile remembering how solicitous Christian is as I barf into the toilet every morning. He holds my hair back and rubs my back every time.

"When do we get to go shopping for baby stuff? I can't wait."

"I think it will be safe at six months."

"You promised to take me, right?"

"Yes, I'll be taking an entourage, Grace, Mia, you. My Mom is coming in a few months. She wants to see me pregnant, and they want to see the new house. We can go then. Christian is having the nursery painted a light green."

"I didn't know Christian liked anything besides white walls," says Kate with a laugh.

"He's making an exception," I say happily.

A month later, Ray arrives for the weekend. Christian is going to take him out on the Grace for some fishing. "Annie, my goodness, you look different," he marvels at my five month old, round tummy. "I can't believe you're going to be a mother."

"And you're going to be a grandpa," I remind him.

"Yeah," he smiles with a far away look. I can tell he's happy about it.

When Christian gets home, he greets Ray warmly. "Hello Grandpa," he says with his drop dead handsome smile. He and Ray have bonded since we got married and genuinely seem to like one another. "Ready for some fishing?"

"Always ready for fishing. Annie, are you coming with us?"

"No, I haven't been out on the boat. I throw up on dry land. I'm not risking that."

We enjoy a lively dinner, mostly talking about our dreams for the baby. Christian plans to take the 'him' on Charlie Tango, fishing on the Grace, to Disney World. I keep reminding him we may have a daughter. We planned not to know the sex until the baby was born but we are both weakening. I think secretly we both want to know, but we cling to our earlier promise, in spite of the fact that we find it increasingly difficult to refer to our progeny as 'it.' We've taken to alternating to 'him' or 'her.'

Christian and Ray are out fishing all Saturday morning but return at noon to take me to lunch. It feels so good to have Ray here and to see my husband and my Dad getting along so well. Carrick and Grace invite us to dinner Sunday. Kate and Elliot are there. They seem to have resolved their disagreements and were planning a wedding in May. But Kate decided to postpone it until the baby is born so I can be her matron of honor. I didn't want her to but she insisted. Elliot seems to be as excited about the baby as Kate. He constantly refers to himself as 'Uncle Elliot.'

Christian sent his plane to bring Bob and Mom to see us. I have only three months to go now and am feeling healthy and energetic. Mom throws her arms around me as soon as she comes down the stairs of the plane. "Oh, Ana, you do look so pregnant. My baby is having a baby," she says with wonder. She hugs me a little awkwardly, trying not to press on my large tummy. "It's so good to see you, Ana."

Bob kisses me on the cheek. I'm sure he doesn't know what to do with a grown up stepdaughter, let alone a pregnant one. But he is good for Mom. Christian is driving the SUV, I'm in the front seat with Christian and Mom and Bob in the back. I try to turn around to talk to Mom but it's hard with the seatbelt around by growing stomach.

"Ana, you're going to make yourself sick. Stop trying to turn around," Christian says, laughing at my attempts.

"Christian's right," my mother warns. "We can talk when we get there. Just relax, dear." She has become Christian's biggest fan since he flew her in his private plane to my birthday party. Getting me pregnant seems to have solidified her worship. She constantly takes his side whenever I complain about him. "He loves you, Ana," she reminds me. Christian knows this. He gives me his 'see, I'm right' look. I scowl at him.

When we get to the house I take Mom and Bob on a tour. She ohs and ahs at the magnificent living room with grand piano and the patios outside the glass wall, the elegant dining room, game room, TV room, library, my office, Christian's office, the security office and the eight bedrooms.

"Which one is the nursery?" she asks.

I take her to the room next to ours. It's been emptied in preparation for the nursery furniture and is painted a soft, subtle green. "We waited for you," I tell her. "We're going to pick out the furniture tomorrow."

We walk outside and I tell offer to take Mom to the beach. Christian walks in from the kitchen. "I'll go with you," he says. "Let me notify Taylor." We all walk along the beach, enjoying the sunny weather and the ocean breeze. "Let's go back," orders Christian. "You've had enough, Ana."

"Good idea. You don't want to overdue, Ana." I cringe. I'm going to have to talk to Mom about her unwavering support of everything Christian says. It's annoying. I'm used to total strangers staring at him and to his employees jumping to his every command, but my mother's simpering approval is testing my patience.

We sit down to one of Mrs. Jones elegant dinners. Everyone has wine, except of course, me. The conversation is lively as my mom regales everyone with tales of Savannah and quizzes Christian and I about our work. "Ana," she croons, "my CEO daughter. I was telling everyone at my bridge club about the new book you published. They're all going to read it."

Christian smiles proudly at me. "Grey Publishing is taking the publishing world by storm," he tells them. "Ana's a natural. She's won the respect of some of the best modern authors, and is turning the company into a financial winner." The pride in his voice is apparent and I smile self-consciously. It's been easier than I ever thought it would be to succeed at my new job. I realize that Christian is personally overseeing all the operations because none of the usual business problems ever come across my desk. Whenever I ask him about anything related to actually running the company, he just smiles and tells me not to worry. I get to spend all my time reading, working with authors and supervising the editorial staff. It's the perfect job.

"So, Mom, we're going shopping with Grace and Kate and Mia tomorrow," I say, trying to change the subject. I'm still uncomfortable being the center of attention and having people talk about me.

Christian looks over to me. "Ana, you're not eating. You need to finish you dinner. You're eating for two now."

"That's right, sweetie. Christian's right. You need your nourishment."

That's it. Suddenly I can't take any more. "Both of you, leave me alone," I say angrily and stalk away from the table, running to our room and slamming the door, ignoring the stunned stares from the tormenters at the table.

I hear the door opening quietly and guess it's Christian. I'm lying on the bed on my side, the only way that's comfortable now, crying softly. Christian sits down on the bed and rubs my back. "Ana, please come back to the table. Your Mom feels bad. I know you hate it when she agrees with me all the time."

"It ticks me off, Christian. I feel like everyone is ganging up on me. You're smothering me is quite enough."

"Baby, this is your hormones talking. We understand." He picks me up and cuddles me to his chest, running his fingers through my hair.

"I know. Everything makes me cry. I thought that was supposed to get better by the sixth month." I'm whining and I know it.

Christian chuckles softly. "Oh, baby, it's ok." He wipes my tears with his handkerchief. "Come on back to the table. You do need to eat. And you don't want to ruin your Mother's first night here." He pats by bottom suggestively. It makes me feel better. I smile up at him.

"I know I'm really protective, but I love you. And you're carrying our baby."

"Christian, you smother me. It's more than protective. And now my Mother is here, parroting everything you say." I jcan't control my emotional responses and it bothers me. It isn't like me at all."

"Come on. We're going back to finish dinner." He lifts me off the bed and steers me back to the dining room. "Ana's feeling smothered. So we're all going to be especially nice to her." He turns to me. "Now, eat your dinner."

I smile to myself. Christian is trying so hard to be patient and understanding with my pregnant mood swings. I tear up at everything he says. I can't wait until I get control of my emotions back. Also, it would be nice to have a glass of wine, I pout to myself.

Mom and I are ready to go shopping after breakfast Sunday morning. I go to say goodbye to Christian. He's in his office and he leans back in his chair, holding his arms out to me. I fold myself onto his lap. "Mr. Grey, you are a sexy man. I think I should marry you."

"Ok, but I'm busy today. Maybe next week," he teases.

"I swat his arm. You're terrible," I whisper, kissing his neck.

"Do you have the credit card?" he asks.

"Of course. Sure you don't want to come?"

"With my mom, your mom, my annoying sister and Kate? No thanks," he laughs. "I trust that with all of you weighing in, you'll put a dent in that credit card."

We look like some kind of royalty arriving with an entourage at the high end baby store. Taylor and Christian are driving two black Audi SUV's with all of us piled in. Our first purchase is a bassinet with an ivory, silk skirt and lace canopy. It will go in our bedroom, next to the bed. Amazingly we agree on almost all the purchases, so it doesn't take long to choose a white crib with a dresser to match, a changing table, and a white, leather glider. Seeing all the baby furniture makes it seem even more real to me. This is going to happen, I marvel. There really will be a baby soon.

"Let's pick out the layette," suggests Kate.

"I guess we can get a few things but Christian wants to buy the clothes. You know how he is about that." Christian has been adamant that he wants to be involved in that. He admits he doesn't know what he's doing but he wants to learn. "Why don't you each choose one thing?"

They all scatter to find something just right. It takes longer than settling on all the furniture did. Finally I pay and we all head for lunch at the top of Christian's club. Grace and my Mom are engaged in deep conversation. They're both so cute about becoming grandmas. Kate and Mia are their usual wired selves, chattering about becoming aunts. I look at them all and wonder again at how lucky I am to have such a warm, supportive family. This baby is going to be the lucky one, born into a ready made, adoring group of people. How different it will be than the early year's of Christian's life. I know he thinks about that.

As my thoughts wander to my beautiful husband, I marvel at how much he has changed. Slowly, over the course of our relationship, he has become more his true self. Even before our marriage, he shed his BDSM lifestyle when he found he could actually love someone. He never thought it was possible for him to have a normal relationship. Then finding our way as a married couple had been just as difficult. Christian had to learn to be in control but in a loving way. I had to learn to give him the control he needed but remain my own person. I think back to all the times I rebelled, eluding security, making Christian crazy. It was my way of trying to be myself. Then the kidnapping happened and I finally began to accept my new life in Christian's world. We have come such a long way.

Dinner at the Grey's is a lively affair. The discussion jumps from the rangers to politics, from the baby to Elliot and Kate's wedding. Christian reminds me to eat several times and my mother, who is sitting across from us, says nothing. I know without either of them saying anything that Christian spoke to her privately. It's obvious she's trying not to echo everything Christian says.

That night when we get in bed, Christian pulls me into our spooning position. "You spoke to my mom, didn't you?" I ask him.

"Yes, does that bother you?"

"No, I hope you didn't hurt her feelings. I just don't need two of you hovering over me telling me what to do."

"She understood. She was fine with it. Ana, you could be a little more patient with her. She means well."

"There you go again. Stop telling me what to feel. You already tell me what to do."

Christian pats my bottom, not saying anything. It makes me chuckle.

"What's so funny?" His voice is soft.

"Your little threat," I tell him. "You haven't spanked me since I got pregnant. And I know you won't, so stop the little reminders," I tease him.

"You've been my perfect wife, sweetheart. You've obeyed all the security rules. That's all I really care about. Your crazy hormones cause your emotional roller coaster. I understand that."

We are quiet for a few minutes and Christian snuggles me closer. "I miss it," I finally whisper. "I miss the Red Room of Pain and your dominance."

"I know. I do too. I miss your submissive state. But it won't be long now until we can play again."

"Can we still do that when we're parents?"

"Of course. We're still us." He gives me a little smack on my behind. "Is that better?" he asks and I can tell he's smiling.

I roll over on my back to see his face. Yes, he's grinning. It's his sexy, evil grin. "Yes, that's my other Christian." I reach up to kiss him. He takes my face and kisses every inch of it. "We'll always have that part of our relationship," he assures me. It's who we are."

I sink back into his arms and we both fall asleep to dream of our baby.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to get this posted. Had out of town guest, twice. As you can see, Christian and Ana's relationship is calmer, more mature. I wanted to explore their evolution as parents because I think Christian is likely to be the disciplinarian and Ana the softie. Hope you enjoy. And thank you for the feedback. I've made a lot of people very angry about the D/S or DD relationship. But that's OK. It's just another twist on how their relationship evolved. Most of the complainers just don't understand Domestic Discipline. The people who love it keep me going. So keep posting.

Chapter 11

Our precious little boy, Theodore Raymond, is born right on time and both of us are in love with him the moment he arrives. The labor was terrifying and the physicians finally insisted on a Caesarian section. Christian was a rock until things got really serious. Then he lost it, screaming for the doctors to do something. But when little Teddy finally made an appearance, Christian and I were both a puddle of happy tears. We felt lost when they took him to clean him up. When they brought our little bundle back, all wide awake and looking around, we were smitten. We couldn't stop staring at him. He was so incredibly beautiful, so perfect.

We're finally taken to my room and we lay Teddy on the bed and unwrap him, marveling at his perfect little body, his tiny fingers and toes, his shock of copper hair. Christian holds his finger to Teddy's hand and his baby fingers grasp it. I thought Christian was going to swoon. "Look, sweetie, he's holding my finger," he says with wonder.

"He looks just like you, Christian. He's beautiful."

Christian leans over and kisses me gently. His eyes are misty. "You were so brave, Ana. I love you so much. Thank you for our son."

"We aim to please, Mr. Grey."

"Teddy," I coo. "Your Daddy is going to be the best daddy in the world. He's going to teach you how to ride a bike and swim and ski and …"

Christian interrupts my litany. "That all sounds dangerous." He frowns.

I look up at him, ready to protest, but he's smiling already. Christian Grey, making a little joke about safety. He really has lost his mind over fatherhood.

Carrick and Grace are the first to arrive, just as we are taking turns holding Teddy. "Oh, he's beautiful. He looks like Christian, doesn't he, dear," Grace says to Carrick. Christian hands Teddy to her, smiling his wide, Christian smile. Grace sits in the rocking chair and lays Teddy on her lap, unwrapping him. Always the pediatrician, she has to inspect her first grandchild herself.

"I know what you're doing, Mom. He's perfect," laughs Christian as he hovers over her.

"Yes, that he is, darling. Open your eyes for Grandma," she coaxes.

"They're very dark but we can't tell yet if he has the Christian gray eyes."

Christian comes to sit on the bed next to me. "Baby, you need to rest. I'm going to lower the bed, OK? They should be bringing you something to eat soon. Are you thirsty?" I nod and he goes to find a nurse and some tea for me.

Kate, Elliot and Mia arrive within the hour and everyone agrees that Theodore Raymond Grey is the most beautiful baby ever born. I'm so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open and my protective husband soon herds everyone out of the room. "There's plenty of time to enjoy Teddy," he tells them. "Ana needs to sleep."

I have to spend a few extra days in the hospital due to the Caesarian section but I actually welcome the nursing care. I'm sore and I'm kind of scared that I won't be able to breastfeed him. But Teddy seems to know exactly what to do. He takes to nursing like a pro. Christian is fascinated watching him nurse. "That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen," he pronounces. "You're lucky to have such an intimate connection to him. I'm envious." Christian can't seem to get enough of his son. He arranges a suite for us so he can work from the other room whenever Teddy and I are asleep. He arrives by six or seven in the morning and stays until I go to sleep at night. My room is so full of flowers that it smells like a floral shop, many of them from Christian. Grace has had a chance to give Teddy a complete examination and happily confirms that he is perfect. Kate and Mia bring something new every time they come. Our baby already has three teddy bears.

"Stop," I protest. "We have to cart all this stuff home, you know."

Finally we get to go home. It's Saturday so Grace and Carrick are there to escort us. We have had the car seat for several months, just awaiting its tiny occupant. I'm wheeled out to the car where Taylor waits with a big smile on his face. Christian lifts Teddy in the car seat and helps me in next to him. Grace and Carrick head for the airport to pick up my mother. Bob isn't coming this time. Ray is driving in too.

All I can think of as we pull out of the hospital is that I got away with my baby. I know it's crazy but I'm still stunned that he's really mine and I get to take him home. He sleeps the whole ride as Christian and I both watch him. Neither of us say anything but I know Christian is as scared as I am. Teddy is so tiny, so vulnerable. We are his sole connection to life. I'm glad my mother is coming. Between her and Grace, I know I have the support I'll need. I can do this, I keep telling myself.

The first two weeks are hectic with mom there and all the Grey's coming to visit almost every day. Ray only stays two days, but he's so proud to be Grandpa. I think he feels uncomfortable around my mother. He'll only hold Teddy when he's sitting in a chair and we hand him the little bundle. "Ana, you take good care of that baby," he says as he kisses me on the cheek. "Christian, we'll need to teach this boy to fish."

"That we will, Ray."

Ray turns to leave and the moment is awkward. I can't believe I see tears in Ray's eyes. I've never seen him even remotely emotional. He seems embarrassed and makes a hasty retreat out the door where Sawyer is waiting with his car, a beautiful, white Audi. At first I think Sawyer is going to take him home but Ray gets behind the wheel and with a final wave, drives off.

"You bought Ray a car?" It's a question but also a statement. I just know that car came from Christian.

"I did," Christian says proudly. "I thought he should have something more reliable than that truck to drive to visit his grandson." I lean down and kiss the hand that's around my shoulders.

"And now we need to get you into bed, Mrs. Grey. You've had enough excitement. And I think your son is about ready to nurse."

My mother is actually a wonderful help and it makes me feel more secure with her there. She calms me every time I worry about the slightest little problem. Are Teddy's stools too runny? Is he sleeping too long? We both check on him frequently to make sure he's still breathing. Christian and I are both anxious whenever Teddy cries. Christian walks him for as long as it takes to quiet him. And, in between, he takes care of me, making sure I take naps and eat well, of course.

"Christian, you can stop worrying about me. I'm fine. And I don't need to be in bed all the time."

"You need your rest, Ana. Come get in bed while Teddy's asleep."

"Stop it," I say, more sharply than I intended. "I'm going to make myself some tea." I head for the kitchen.

"I'll make the tea and bring it to you. Go. Now." He has his stern look and his commanding voice.

Mom is watching our dance of stubbornness. She smiles at us but tries not to weigh in. I can tell it's hard for her. Of course she wants to support Christian. She always does. But she refrains. Somehow it doesn't make any difference whether she says something or not. I know how she feels.

I acquiesce and head for the bedroom. Christian appears shortly after with a cup of tea. I know it will be just how I like it. He sits on the bed and puts the hot cup on the nightstand.

"Anastasia, do you think that your being a mother changes our relationship? Because if you do, I'm here to straighten out your misconception." He is stroking my hair and leans down to kiss my forehead.

"No. I'm just tired of the inactivity. I want to get back to normal."

"It's only been two weeks, baby. I want you to get your strength back." He hands me the tea and waits until I sip. "Ana, you still need to obey me, at least where your health and your safety are concerned. The next time you defy me in front of your mother, you're going to be embarrassed." He is staring at me with his determined look. I gaze into his solemn eyes and feel a sudden constriction deep inside. My whole body shivers in arousal. I blush."

"You miss it, don't you? Don't put your head down, little one. I'm proud of the relationship we have. And I miss it too. I've had to be patient with you for so long, I'm more than ready to get our life back in balance." He runs his fingers around first one breast and then the other. "These sort of belong to Teddy now but he's willing to share."

"He told you that, did he?"

"Oh yes. We've had some man to man talks."

"And what else have you talked about?" I love hearing Christian sound like a father. It's such a new part of his personality.

"We've talked about Charlie Tango and sailing and how to be respectful to his mother." He says the last part in his stern, no nonsense voice.

"You don't say. I don't think he's taken the respect part to heart yet. He's very demanding. I think he might have too many of his father's genes," I tease.

"Not too many. But I'm hoping he has some of his mother's wonderful traits too, just not the defiant ones."

I ignore the defiant reference. "And what would those be?"

"Your love of learning and of books, your insightfulness. You read people better than I ever will. And I always prided myself on that ability, until I met you, of course. Then there's your kindness, your ability to love unconditionally, your unbridled enjoyment of fun. I even want him to have a little of your naughtiness, just a little, mind you. My genes are far too serious. Oh, yes, and none of your recklessness."

"Christian, you've begun to embrace your playful side. I think Teddy will teach you more about that side of life than I ever could."

"I'm counting on it, baby."

"I'm not your baby anymore, you know, or your little one. You have Teddy now."

He leans down and kisses my hair. "You'll always be my baby, and my little one too. You were so petite, so tiny, when you fell into my office. And I highly doubt Teddy will want me to call him baby. Do you want me to find another term of endearment? I can."

"Well, let's see. Besides 'little one' and 'baby,' there's also honey, sweetie and let's not forget brat." I giggle.

"There's that giggle I love. Ok, I'll try some new ones. Now drink your tea and lay back. Want me to lay down with you?"

No sooner had Christian cuddled me in his arms than we hear Teddy stir and then start to cry. He's in the bassinet beside our bed. "Well, our son's timing leaves a lot to be desired. I'll change him and bring him to you."

Christian watches me nurse Teddy, a look of awe in his face. Apparently our little boy isn't really hungry as he falls asleep after several minutes. Christian lays him gently back in the bassinet and I lay back down.

"Christian, I'm not going to get my strength back staying in bed all the time. You need to relax about me. I'm not made of glass. I had a baby, not a near death experience."

"It was a near death experience for me."

"Everything is a near death experience to you."

"Only since you came along."

"You have to ease up. And don't you dare embarrass me in front of my mother, Christian Grey."

"Motherhood seems to have made you sassy, my dear. Do you need a spanking?"

"No." I just don't like it when you're so overprotective." I have lowered my voice and I give Christian a little smile. "And I don't think my mother would be so enamored of you if she knew you were threatening to spank me."

"Ana, I'm only asking you to take a short nap while the baby is asleep. Don't be so dramatic. Come on, close your eyes."

I can't help myself when Christian is so sweet. I am tired. I close my eyes, feeling his soft touch on my hair.

My mother is finally leaving and I am conflicted about it. I want to get back to normal and learn to be a family with my husband and my son. But I'm still a little afraid to be alone without my mom's support. Christian is taking her to the airport to return on the Grey Enterprises plane. She kisses me goodbye and holds her grandson for the last time, at least until her next visit. Both of us cry a little.

"Thank you, Mom, for being here and for all your help."

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world, Ana. You're going to be a terrific mother and Christian will be a wonderful father. He's so good with Teddy already. You do what he says now and get your strength back."

"Somehow I knew you'd get that in," I say sarcastically.

"Now, Ana. Christian loves you. He's just taking care of you."

"He's smothering me, Mom, and you know it."

"Doesn't hurt to have a husband as in love with you as Christian is." She hugs me again and gets in the car. Her eyes are misty as she gives a last wave and mine are too.

The first month is difficult but exhilarating. Christian gladly walks the floor with Teddy during the night when he won't settle down. He gets up to change him and hands him to me to nurse. I've taken two months off work to be home with him and Christian calls at least four times a day to check in. When he gets home, he announces that it's his turn because I've had Teddy all day and he spends most of the evening rocking him and cooing to him. It's a joy to see.

Carrick and Grace are over the top with their first grandchild. They come over at least twice a week to see him. Mia is a doting aunt and Kate and Elliot declare they need to practice for when they decide to have a baby. The nursery is filling up with stuffed animals and toys. Teddy has more clothes already than he can possibly wear.

When Teddy is six weeks old, Grace announces that they want to babysit so we can have a night to ourselves. I'm reluctant but Christian insists. He takes me to our favorite Italian restaurant. I pick up my cell phone to call Grace for the second time.

"Put the phone down, Ana. Mom will call us if anything's wrong. She is a pediatrician, you know."

"I just want to find out if Teddy took the bottle." I had left breast milk in a bottle for him.

"Anastasia, I said put the phone down. You just called fifteen minutes ago."

"Christian, just one more call, ok?"

"No." He reaches over and takes my phone.

"We love being parents, baby, but we're also husband and wife. We're not going to forget that. The best thing we can do for Teddy is to have a strong marriage. Mom knows that. It's why she insisted we get out alone."

I hadn't really thought about our marriage, about us, in six weeks. Teddy has been our all-consuming obsession. Maybe Christian is right. "Ok, but can I call when we get to dessert?"

Christian smiles. "Ok. But now we talk about us."

"What about us?"

"You are the most beautiful mother on the planet," he says, taking my hand in his. "And if you don't pick up your fork and eat something, I'm going to feed you right here in the restaurant."

Some things never change, and Christian is one of those things. I pick up my fork.

"Ana, you seem to think that things will change between us because we're parents. That's not going to happen. We're still who we are. Our marriage is even more important now that we're parents. My mom and dad were great parents, primarily because they were great marriage partners. I want us to be like that."

"I don't have that kind of role model. My mom's had four husbands, and the first one was dead before I was born. I guess I never gave much thought to how you and I would be with each other. I've only thought about how we would be as parents."

"Ana, things had to be a bit different during your pregnancy. You had all that hormonal stuff going on and I know that made it difficult to control your emotions. But I want us to get back to normal. And that means you have to stop screaming at me and sassing me."

"I know. You were wonderful, Christian. In fact, now that it's over I can tell you I rather enjoyed getting by with my little temper tantrums."

"I thought so." He smiles at me accusingly. "But there wasn't anything I could do about it. I had to give you the benefit of the doubt." He leans over the table toward me. "That's all over, sweetie. Your dominant husband is back."

"Are you putting me on notice, dear?"

"Absolutely. Now eat your dinner."

Sometimes Grace and Carrick come over on Sunday to spend the afternoon with us. Between the two of them, it is hard to get our hands on Teddy. Christian finally asserts his right as a father and takes little Teddy to walk him. "Mom, you and Dad have hogged him for over an hour. I need my turn."

Grace gives me her knowing look. "Ana, lets make dinner. Christian is being selfish again," she teases.

As we make dinner together, Grace is pensive. "Ana, I never thought I would ever see Christian so happy. He is over the top about Teddy, and so good with him. He's going to be a wonderful father, just like Carrick."

"You and Carrick were amazing parents. I can't imagine how hard it was for you to raise Christian. You took on a real challenge when you adopted him. I sometimes wonder how much of his personality is just the way he was born and how much is due to his horrible first four years. But I can clearly see what part of him is due to your parenting. He has your values, hard work, integrity and his charities are as important to him as yours are to you."

"I hope so, Ana. I know he adores and respects his father."

"He wants to be just like Carrick." I laugh. "I always knew, deep down, that Ray loved me. But he never felt like he could be a real father. Do you know, I was never punished as a child? My mom was more like a friend and Ray just didn't feel he had the right. I missed that and I can be a spoiled brat…as Christian reminds me often. He's a strict disciplinarian at work. That's one of the reasons he's so successful. His companies run on automatic most of the time. He has hard and fast rules and he makes sure they're followed. I think he's going to be a strict father."

"I think he will be too, darling. Carrick was very strict with the children. I would have let them get away with a lot more than he did. My guess is that you will be a lot like me. You two were meant to be together. I see so many similarities between you and Carrick and I."

"That's nice to hear. You have an enviable marriage and I know Christian thinks he had a charmed childhood. I hope we can learn to be good parents. I sometimes worry that our children will be wealthy, spoiled brats. They'll certainly have every advantage in life. I can't imagine growing up like Teddy will."

"Ana, there is no way Christian will ever let his children be brats. You and I know him better than that. My worry is that he'll be too controlling. Children need breathing room. You'll have to make sure they have that."

"I know. With his obsession with security, I can see a crowd of security guards taking poor little Teddy to kindergarten." I laugh but I know it's not too farfetched.

Dinner is ready and I notice Carrick has Teddy again. "Christian, I'm so proud of you. You're learning to share much better," I coo sarcastically. Christian hugs me and gives me a little slap on the bottom. "Don't get sassy with me Mrs. Grey," he says affectionately. He has gradually become more like the private Christian around his parents. He knows that they know what our relationship is like and seems comfortable being himself. It sometimes embarrasses me but, like everything else in our marriage, it's not going to change.

Kate and Elliot's wedding is in 4 weeks, just in time for me to fit into a matron of honor dress. Kate is in high gear, fretting about everything. "Ana, we have to go for our fittings tomorrow. Should I pick you up or are you still grounded?"

"Kate, I'm not grounded," I chide her. "I just can't drive yet because of the C-Section." I have no idea why doctors have that rule. "Taylor will take us. What time should we pick you up?"

Kate, Mia, Grace and I are all getting our final fittings. Kate does have excellent taste. The wedding has a black and cream theme and our black bridesmaid's dresses are elegant, perfect for a formal evening wedding. We've planned to go to lunch afterward. "How's my grandson?" asks Grace

"He's wonderful. Christian has him this morning but he worries something is going to come up that he doesn't know anything about. I can't imagine what that would be, but you know Christian. He made sure Gail was there, just in case." We make it almost through lunch before my phone rings.

"Yes, Christian," I say, not at all surprised.

"Ana, Teddy's butt is a little red. Which one of these creams am I supposed to use?"

"The Desitin, dear. It's the tube. Do you see it?"

"Got it. Ok. Are you almost finished with lunch?"

"Yes, is Teddy alright?"

"He's fine. He just misses you. So do I."

"I'll be home soon, honey."

I turn to see everyone watching me smiling. "He gets confused with the creams and the powders," I say laughingly.

Kate's wedding is also in the Grey's backyard. She loved my wedding so much she has almost duplicated it, except for the black and cream theme. She's chosen red roses for bouquets and table arrangements and the splash of red accents is stunning. Kate looks dazzling in her ivory wedding dress. Christian is Elliot's best man. He and the groomsmen are going to be in white tie.

The wedding is in the Grey's parlor for just the family and close friends, though the reception includes several hundred. Kate, Mia and I are getting dressed in Carrick and Grace's large bedroom. We all look great, I allow myself to say. I hug Kate just before we start the procession down the winding staircase. "I'm so happy for you, Kate. I hope you're as happy as I am." Kate hugs me back, and for once, maybe in her lifetime, she can't talk. Her eyes are misty. "Now don't make me cry." My voice cracks and I turn quickly as I hear the strains of the music that is my cue.

As I walk down the aisle behind Mia and in front of Kate, my breath catches as I see Christian. We all got dressed at the Grey's so this is my first sight of Christian and Elliot in white tie. He steps forward to take my arm and leans down. "You're breathtaking," he whispers. "So are you," I whisper back. The Grey brothers certainly are easy to look at.

Kate and Elliot get through their vows, their eyes intense with that soft look of love I know so well. They've written their own vows from a Native American wedding poem and it's beautiful, and so them.

The reception is a blur. Between Kate and Grace and Kate's mother, they have arranged for a classic, four-course meal. Sheila is in the house with little Teddy and Christian and I take turns checking on them. We are considering hiring her to be Teddy's nanny when I go back to work.

When I dance with Christian during the wedding party's dance, I feel like a queen in the arms of a king. "You are completely fetching, Mrs. Grey," murmurs Christian in my ear as we dance to "Endless Love." "I think motherhood has made you even sexier."

"Why thank you, Mr. Grey. You look devastatingly handsome yourself."

"Kate and Elliot seem very happy."

"They do seem to have settled down and accepted each other's personality quirks."

"And have you settled down and accepted my quirks?" Christian asks as he smoothly glides me across the floor.

"Mr. Grey, you have so many quirks, I may never get around to accepting all of them. Fifty shades and all, you know." Christian grins and he pulls me closer to him.

"So what's going on with Mia and Ethan?" he asks as the two of them dance near us.

"They profess to be just good friends. At least that's what Ethan tells everyone. Mia would still like it to be more. Who knows what will happen."

Kate and Elliot leave at about ten for their honeymoon in Italy. Christian has given them his private plane for the trip as a wedding gift. I remember like it was yesterday leaving our reception, but I had no idea where we were going. Kate and Elliot's relationship is a lot different. Kate planned most of the honeymoon. It's a good thing Elliot is so laid back. Kate has softened and Elliot seems to know when to stand up to her. It seems to have evened out nicely. They make a good couple.

As Teddy grows and his personality develops, we find ourselves spending most of our spare time with him. We have hired Sheila part time so I can go into the office but mostly I can do a lot of my work from home. I shudder when I think about the ordeal it was to hire a nanny. Christian wasn't happy just doing the routine security checks. Taylor, et. al. had to follow the poor finalist for a week to make sure all the background information was correct. I was pulling for Sheila all along. She has the calm, responsible demeanor I was looking for. She looked lovingly at Teddy like none of the others did.

I miss Teddy when I'm at work but it feels good to get back to my career. Christian, of course, would rather I quit work, even though Grey Publishing is more successful than ever. But I need the satisfaction of knowing that I'm a successful professional.

"Ana, you know you don't have to work. Can we restructure your job so you can just work from home?" It's at least the tenth time he's brought this up.

"I have to meet with the authors, Christian. You know I'm the one who can get them to sign on. I can't leave the really hot ones to my other editors."

"I know. But I don't like to see you work so hard, what with Teddy growing up so fast."

"Sheila is perfect," I remind him. Teddy loves her and I'm usually only gone for four or five hours. I doubt Teddy even misses me. I'm sure I miss him more."

Teddy obviously has Christian's intelligence and his graceful body. He walks at ten months and is saying a few words by one. His mobility means we have baby gates all over the house, some of them had to be custom made to accommodate our wide doors. Christian can't help himself. He becomes more protective as Teddy becomes more independent.

Teddy lurches across the floor, trying to run when he can hardly walk, and falls forward on the hardwood floor. "We should get this place carpeted," say Christian as he picks up Teddy to comfort him.

"Christian, he's going to fall sometimes. You have to get used to it. He's so low to the floor, it would be hard to get hurt badly."

When Teddy is 20 months, his personality is emerging to the delight of both of us. He's using little sentences and it becomes even clearer that he has an independent streak. But he has a far more patient personality than his mercurial father, at least so far.

"Ana, I think his personality is more like yours than mine. He's certainly more patient than me, but he sure has his mother's stubborn streak."

"My stubborn streak!" I nearly shout. "If Teddy is stubborn, it will clearly be the Grey genes he inherited."

Teddy starts exhibiting the 'terrible two' behavior before he even turns two. "See how advanced our son is," I tell Christian. "He's not even two yet and he's defying us already." Christian doesn't think it's funny at all. For the first time, he gets frustrated with Teddy's behavior. Teddy has always been just such a happy baby that the emergence of his obstinacy has Christian rattled.

My period is late. I just know I'm pregnant. Christian and I decided to have another child so it would be near Teddy's age. "We might as well have our children close in age," he says, "so they can grow up together."

"I'm so glad you're up for another one. I always wished I had brothers or sisters. I really don't want to raise an only child. Besides, Teddy is going to be spoiled enough as it is."

"He's not going to be spoiled, Ana. I love him too much to let him become a brat. Don't you trust me to be a good father?"

"You know I do."

I decide to bypass the home pregnancy test this time. I know the signs so I'm pretty sure we have another little Grey coming. I make an appointment with Dr. Green during the time I would be at work so Christian doesn't suspect anything. Sure enough, I'm pregnant. Now, how to tell Christian? I already did the office announcement. I decide to take Grace into my confidence and we discuss possibilities. We finally decide to do it on Christian's birthday, which is in two weeks. Grace is having everyone for dinner to celebrate. I tell her I'll take care of the surprise.

"Ana, we're going to be late," Christian calls from the foyer.

"Coming," I shout.

"Teddy's already in the car and he's getting antsy."

"Christian, hold your horses," I chide, running down the stairs. "It takes me longer now that I have to get Teddy's things ready too."

He swats my bottom. "So, start earlier. You know I hate to be late for things."

I climb in the backseat next to Teddy and Christian gets in beside me.

"Just for that, you're not getting your birthday present," I tease.

"Maybe I just need to give you my birthday spanking," he teases back.

All the Grey's are already convened when we arrive and they practically ignore us in favor of Teddy, who obviously loves all the attention. Elliot has surprised us since Teddy was born. He's a totally doting uncle, fascinated by everything Teddy does. We have dinner during which Teddy entertains everyone. When the plates are cleared, Grace brings in a cake lit with 31 candles. "Mom, you're going to catch the house on fire," teases Christian. We all sing "Happy Birthday" to the delight of Teddy.

Then Mia brings in a pile of presents. Christian still delights in getting presents, probably a carry over from his nightmarish early years. When everything is opened, I hand him my gift. "This is very light, baby. I can't imagine what it is. You have shocked me with your gifts so many times, I'm almost afraid to open it." He grins at me but I just want him to open it. I've kept the secret for two weeks and it's driving me crazy.

Christian unwraps the gift and opens it. He just stares for a minute, trying to understand. When it dawns on him, his face shows his amazement. "Oh my god," he says with wonder. He leans over to confirm his surprise. When I nod, he holds the framed picture of the ultrasound up for the others. "It looks like we're having another Grey baby." Everyone claps and cheers. "Ana, when?"

"I found out two weeks ago. Everything's fine," I assure him.

"You kept this from me for two weeks?" he says in astonishment. "You'll pay for that, my pretty," he teases.

And so my second pregnancy began. Christian is thrilled. I kind of hope for a girl but Christian is not very excited about having a girl. "You think I'm overprotective of Teddy," he tells me. "Can you imagine how I'll feel with a daughter?" When the baby starts to kick, Christian can't get enough of feeling the kicks through my stomach."

Christian doesn't want to know the sex but I do want to know this time. Dr. Green writes it down and seals it in an envelope, handing it to me. "That's in case you decide you want to know in the middle of the night. Don't call me. Just open the envelope," she laughs.

I put the envelope in my desk drawer but it beckons me daily. Finally in the sixth month, I can't stand it any longer. I open the envelope slowly, as if it's going to blow up. The slip of paper has only one word "Girl." My breath hitches. I'm going to have a daughter. And so is Christian. This should be interesting, I think. Now, how am I going to keep this a secret from him?

Meanwhile, Teddy has entered his terrible two's with determination. "No" is his favorite word. At first Christian and I are patient, understanding the growing process of our little boy and trying to be supportive. One Sunday when Grace and Carrick are over, Teddy decides to throw a major temper tantrum over some minor slight. He's actually on the floor kicking the couch. Carrick looks at Christian. "I think you are going to have to intervene here, son. The two's are difficult but that's when you lay the foundation for your expectations. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but I think Teddy needs some limits."

"I know, Dad. Ana and I have been talking about that. We know Teddy is going through a stage and we've tried to be understanding but we don't want to let him become a tyrant. Ana wants to let it go. But I know I need to take him in hand," he says with a resigned sigh.

"Now don't be too hard on him, darling," Grace says. "He is only two, but I agree that he needs to start learning limits. Carrick and Christian exchange glances and Carrick laughs. "Your mother objected to my, uh, ..interventions too. I think that's a mother's job."

"I'm with Grace," I say firmly. "Christian, he is just a baby. He'll grow out of it if we're just patient." Somehow I don't feel too sure about that as I watch Teddy kicking the couch and rolling on the floor in anger.

"Ana, Dad's right. Our little boy needs to begin to know what the limits are. I'm not raising a brat. I don't ever want to be embarrassed that we allowed our children to act like spoiled, rich kids."

Teddy is finally quieting down, having worn himself out screaming and rolling on the floor. Christian gets up and picks him up. "That was very naughty, Teddy. You may not behave that way." He carries him off to his office and I call out to him "What are you going to do, Christian?"

"Take Teddy in hand, and don't you dare interfere. Stay where you are," he calls back sternly. I see him stop on the way to the office and pick up the little chair at Teddy's little table.

"Now Ana," Carrick says softly. "Let Christian be a good Daddy. You know he loves Teddy and is only doing what's best for him."

I can't stand not knowing. I follow him to the office and watch from the door. He puts Teddy's little chair in the corner and sits him on it. "Sit" he orders sternly, "and don't move. You were a naughty boy to have a tantrum like that."

Teddy sits for less than 20 seconds and then gets up. Christian picks him up and sits him down again firmly, not saying a word. Teddy gets up and again Christian repeats the process, a little more insistently each time. After the forth time, Teddy sits. Christian looks at his watch then up at me. He scowls and comes into the hall with me.

"Get used to this, mommy. Teddy is ready for some discipline and I intend to provide it. You need to learn to support me. Capiche?" I nod. I know he's right but seeing my little boy sitting in the corner crying softly to himself is hard.

After three minutes, Christian goes to Teddy. "Are you ready to be a good boy?" he asks sternly. Teddy nods.

Christian picks him up, kisses him and carries him back to the family room. Carrick and Grace look up at him questioningly. "Teddy is going to be a good boy now, Grandma and Grandpa, aren't you Teddy." Teddy rubs his red eyes with his fist. "Uh huh," he says sadly. Christian puts him down. "Go get your new train car and show Grandpa," he suggests. Teddy's face lights up and he runs off the get the new toy.

"Teddy did fine. I think he got the message. Ana, not so much" he laughs.

"Mother's prerogative" announces Grace.

"Welcome to parenthood, act two" says Carrick.

And so the disciplining of Teddy began. I am not surprised that Christian has endless patience in teaching Teddy the boundaries of his behavior. The little chair remains in the corner of Christian's office permanently and Teddy, unfortunately, sits in it with regularity. Three minutes is the standard time. Teddy's behavior improves slowly, thankfully. I still have trouble watching it. I feel sorry for Teddy every time but I can't help but be happy that Teddy is a much more manageable, happier little boy. The constant 'no's' and the tantrums do become annoying.

When Molly arrives we both fall in love with her instantly. Teddy is not so happy with the whole ordeal. He's fascinated by her, but rebels like any normal 2 and a half year-old at having to share his parents. He says and does naughty things he never would have before. Our nearly perfect little boy now has a rival in the house, a rival his parents pay far too much attention to.

Grace is her usual, calm self about Teddy's antics. As a pediatrician, she has dealt with all the stages of childhood so many times, with so many parents, that she doesn't have any trouble giving us advice. And we both trust her implicitly. "Teddy is just reacting to having a rival in the house and it's not easy on him. Elliot was two when you arrived, Christian, and he didn't like having you around at first either. He'll get over it."

Teddy decides to test his father one evening at dinner. After a time out in the chair for throwing food, Teddy comes right back to the table and spits his peas at me. "That did it," says Christian. He picks Teddy up out of his booster chair and carries him to his room. I can hear Teddy screaming down the hall so I pick up Molly out of her pumpkin seat and follow.

"What are you going to do?" I call, alarmed. Christian has 'that look' on his face that I know so well.

"Put Teddy to bed," he says firmly. "Ana, I'm warning you. Don't you dare come in here." He's holding Teddy unceremoniously under one arm as he glares at me.

"Ok" I say defensively.

He puts Teddy on the changing table and dresses him in his pajamas, talking to him softly but sternly all the while. "Teddy, that was very naughty. I will not let you come to the table if you throw food. You'll just have to go to bed." He lifts him into his crib and lays him down. "Go to sleep," he says sternly and walks out of the room, but not before turning the baby monitor on.

Teddy is whimpering when Christian closes the door. I'm sure my face gives me away. I hate seeing Teddy get punished. "Get used to it, Mommy. We have two little imps to deal with for a long time. This is going to be our life for quite some time. We will raise well-behaved children. And if you continue acting like I am torturing Teddy, he won't be the only one getting some discipline. Got that?"

"Yes, Sir" I say sarcastically.

"We will take care of that bit of sass tonight" he threatens, but I know it's really a promise and my bottom clenches involuntarily.

That night we get ready for bed and I crawl in. "Not so fast" Christian warns. "We need to have a discussion about raising our children."

"Christian, I didn't do anything," I complain.

"Anastasia, you have to get a handle on your emotions where Teddy's discipline is concerned. I won't have you give Teddy the impression that we aren't in agreement."

He sits on the bed and pulls me onto his lap. "Ana, my parents never showed any divide in their dealings with us. They may have argued over my Dad's discipline in private but none of us ever saw it. We all knew there was no way we could divide them. If we needed to be punished, Dad did what he thought was necessary and Mom supported him. That's the way it will be in this house. Am I making myself clear?"

"I know you're right. It's just that this is all new to me. Teddy's just a baby and I hate it when he cries."

"Better that he cries and learns to obey than we have a defiant teenager on our hands. If we don't have control when they're two, we'll pay, and so will they, when they're fifteen."

I put my arms around my husband's neck and kiss his cheek. "You're a wonderful father, honey. I'm glad you know what to do. And you know I'll support you. Just please be patient with me. I was never punished as a child. "

"I guess I should have figured that I'd be the chief disciplinarian for our family," he says, nuzzling his nose in my hair. "Our children will be well behaved. There's nothing I disapprove of more than a bratty child. I will not allow ours to be like that. Teddy is old enough to begin learning the rules. There will come a time when adults are not with him every second. If he doesn't learn to obey, he won't be safe. And I definitely intend to keep him, and Molly, safe. Do you trust me to teach him gently and slowly?"

"Yes, Christian, I do. I'm sorry. I just see him as my baby boy and it hurts to see him punished."

"Ana, it hurts me to punish him. I don't like to make him cry. But it's for his own good. You're going to have to learn to trust me."

"I do, Christian. I really do."

"Good, because you need to be reminded who's the boss here too." He lifts me up and glides me over his lap. It's been a long time since I was in this position and it feels comforting. That old mixture of anxiety and arousal courses through my body. My dominant husband is always there but I've missed this part of our relationship.

He gives my backside a smack and then rubs it away. He kneads my cheeks. Then he smacks again. "Anastasia, you need a reminder of who's the boss in our home, don't you?"

"Yes, sir," I whisper.

He spanks again, three times, then starts his gentle rubbing again. "You used to be a disobedient girl too. But now you're my wonderful wife. Sometimes you just need a reminder of what I expect, don't you?"

"Yes, sir."

He spanks again, four times, twice on each cheek. This time it stings. "Ouch," I protest.

"Quiet. You know, you're the only CEO of all my companies that I spank. Doesn't that make you feel special?" I can't help it. I giggle."

"You're not supposed to find this funny, Anastasia," he says. He sounds serious so I whip my head around to see his face but he's smiling. Then he spanks again, a little flurry of smacks. He reaches under my nightgown. "Oh, what have we here, baby? You're so turned on. What a reliable wife I have."

"Christian, let me up. You're embarrassing me."

"Nope. Not finished." He rains another flurry of spanks on my bottom and then starts rubbing again. "Have you learned your lesson, my sweet?"

"Yes, sir." I just want him inside me. My need is overwhelming. He lifts me off his knee and sits me on his lap again. He's kissing my forehead, my nose, my chin. "I love you, Mrs. Grey." He sits me on the bed and pulls my nightgown over my head. "Lay back," he orders. He crawls between my legs and kisses the scars on my tummy. I'm insecure about my C-section scars. I worried that Christian wouldn't think my body was perfect anymore.

"You're even more beautiful to me now, Ana. These lines are a reminder that you grew our two beautiful children right here." He puts his hands on my stomach. "I find that sexier than hell."

My Christian always knows what to say, and to do. He puts my hands over my head, kisses each breast and then enters me and we're transported to only the here and now, feeling the connection, overcome with the sensations of love and passion.

When we have both come down from the height of our climaxes, Christian rolls off of me and pulls me into our spooning position. "Thank you, Mrs. Grey. That was nice."

"Just nice?" I ask.

"Perfect."

"Christian, I'm sorry I'm having a hard time about the discipline thing. Just be patient with me, OK?"

"You're a good Mommy. You don't have to be the strict one but you do have to enforce my rules, and you need to do that consistently. Consistency is very important for children."

"How do you know so much about raising children?" I ask.

"I had two of the best role models any child could have. I think Carrick and Grace were just about perfect. I'm going to ask for my Dad's advice a lot as our children grow up. He was pretty strict but I never doubted that he loved us unconditionally. He had a way of punishing our behavior without rejecting us. I want to be like him."

"And you are. I guess I should have been ready for this. You rule your empire with a tight rein. I'm glad you want to raise our children right."

"I raised you right," he says as he squeezes my bottom cheeks.

"It only took one real punishment for me. That was quite a wake up call." I think about how defiant I was about security when we were first married. It made Christian crazy.

"Yes it was, baby. But you've been wonderful since that little episode. I think that just knowing I didn't need your permission to punish you made a big difference. I have felt like I'm in control ever since then, and it's very comforting. And you have never given the security detail any problems since then."

"I guess I did change after that, but you changed too Christian. You stopped all the screaming and the punishment fucks. I could see that it made you happier, more comfortable with our relationship."

"We found our way, didn't we?"

"Christian, can we go visit the playroom at Escala soon. I've been missing it lately and it's been months."

"I miss it too. How long before you feel comfortable leaving Molly with Mom and Dad overnight?"

"Let's give it a few more weeks. She's doing so well, and we're a lot more relaxed with her than we were with Teddy."

"Yes, the second one is always easier, I hear."

Christian keeps his promise and we spend a sultry, sexy Saturday evening in the playroom, then continue exploring each other's bodies in bed. I am so deep into my submissive role that I don't even think about calling to check on the kids until late. It feels so good to let go of all responsibility and just feel. It's just what both of us needed.

The children are growing up so fast I can hardly believe it. Teddy is four and Molly is two. Teddy is a well behaved little boy, adores his father and is respectful to me because Christian insists on it. All I have to say to him is that I will tell Daddy and he straightens up. Christian rarely has to do more than send him to his room or make him sit in the corner. It's also quite effective to take away his favorite toy for a few days. Christian has swatted both children on the backside occasionally but mostly to get their attention. His patience with them is astounding.

I have to admit that I'm not much of a disciplinarian. I get frustrated and tend to scold too much without giving them any consequences. Christian has repeatedly pointed that out to me. He says I bribe them to be good. I guess I do. Hey, it works for me. I don't worry too much about it. If Teddy is really naughty, I just let Christian handle it.

Christian and Teddy are best friends. Christian has taught him to swim in the pool, allows him to "help" sail the boat and even put him on skis this winter. Teddy's favorite treat, though, is to go flying in the helicopter. He begs to be taken and Christian accommodates him sometimes when he doesn't even have anywhere to go. He just takes him up for an hour and revels in Teddy's delight. Teddy is so like him it is almost comical. He adores his father and tries to act like him. We've noticed that he scolds Molly when she's doing something wrong. He even sounds like Christian when he does it.

Christian finally carpeted the two playrooms when Molly came along. I think he did it for himself as much as for the children. He's always on the floor with them. Sometimes I just watch from the door as Teddy and Molly climb all over him and he pretends to wrestle with them. They both have darling giggles. Such a different side of Christian, I marvel. I wonder if he realizes how important this is for him to create the early childhood he never had. His deep, throaty laugh at the children's antics is music to my ears.

He still plays the beautiful classical music that grounds him but he's also taken to playing children's songs on the piano, to the delight of Teddy and Molly. He's taught them so many songs that they want him to play the entire repertoire every time. He's taught Teddy to use his fingers on the piano instead of banging with his whole hand when Teddy was almost three and Teddy can already pick out a few simple songs. Now he's teaching Molly the same 'gentle piano' as he calls it. Maybe they'll be wonderful pianists like their father is.

Christian reads to them every night and Teddy is reading simple books at four. His vocabulary is far above his age level and he constantly keeps us busy with his questions. Christian says that trait comes from me. Teddy is enrolled in a private preschool, which he loves. His teachers say he's an unusually respectful child. That would be Christian's doing. They also say he's highly intelligent, which we already knew.

Just when we are having a wonderful time with Teddy, Molly enters the terrible twos with a vengeance. She has a more volatile personality than her brother. She's more physically active, more stubborn, and far too smart for her own good. Christian and I wonder if she's even smarter than Teddy or if she just knows more because she learns from Teddy.

One night during a family dinner, I tell Molly to eat her vegetables and she responds by pushing her whole plate on the floor. Christian looks at me, raising his eyebrows and I nod silently. It's time for Daddy to take Molly in hand.

He picks Molly up from her highchair and carries her off to his office, picking up a small chair on the way. Didn't we go through his before, I think. I already know what is happening in Christian's office and I have long ago adjusted to his discipline of the children.

"Where is Daddy taking Molly?" Teddy asks, concern in his voice.

"He's going to punish Molly for throwing her plate down" I tell him. He thinks about this for a minute. "Is he going to spank her?"

"I think she's going to have to sit in the corner," I respond, cleaning up the mess Molly has made.

We can hear Molly screaming her protest at the punishment. Oh, she's going to prove a challenge to Christian. But I don't doubt who will win the battle of wills.

I put Christian's plate in the warmer. This may take a while. After about five minutes, Molly's protests stop and all is quiet. After another 5 minutes, Christian comes back in the breakfast room carrying her.

"Molly, say you are sorry to your Mother," he orders.

"I'm sorry," she says sadly.

He puts her in her high chair. "Molly is going to be a good girl now. Can you give her some dinner Mommy?"

I put another plate on her high chair tray. I retrieve Christian's dinner from the warmer. "Thanks," he says smiling at me. I sit down to see what happens. Not surprisingly, she looks at Christian. It looks like she's assessing her risk. He raises his eyebrows and looks sternly at her. She picks up her spoon and starts eating. Christian smiles at me over her head, a look of victory on his face.

Molly's terrible twos are much worse than Teddy's. She's naturally a more willful child. "She has spunk," I tell Christian.

He glares at me. "You'd think she was Kate's child," he responds in his disgusted voice.

One Saturday morning, Christian has told 3-year-old Molly not to go outside. It's raining with thunder and lighting occasionally. Twice, Molly runs out to the patio to feel the rain on her head. Once, I run out to get her and once Christian retrieves her, sternly scolding her to stay inside. We're cuddled up watching a movie with the fireplace warming the room. Molly is playing with her dolls in the corner. Suddenly we both become aware that she's missing at the same time. Christian gets up to check the patio. There is Molly, happily dancing around in the rain. Christian is livid. He runs out, picks her up and swats her backside a few times. Molly is too startled for a few seconds to even react. Then she immediately starts wailing. Christian takes her into her bedroom and starts stripping her soaking wet clothes off.

"Get me her pajamas, Ana," he says. I can tell he's irritated but trying to keep his temper in check.

"Molly, I told you not to go outside, didn't I?" he lectures. "Now you're going to be punished. I'm going to put you to bed and you better stay in bed or I'm going to spank you. Understand?"

Molly nods solemnly. She hasn't ever seen her daddy this stern, I'm sure. Christian puts her pajamas on, turns down the covers and tucks her in. "Stay," he orders sternly and hustles me out of the room.

"Teddy always responded to time-outs or even to gentle scolding. Molly just gets more defiant," he says in awe. "How can an almost three-year-old be that stubborn?"

"Molly is going to be our challenge. I'm sure you've figured that out."

"Oh, yes. And she has such a winsome personality that she twists just about everyone around her little finger. She gets cuter and more entertaining all the time."

Molly is better behaved for about a week after the incident in the rain, far shorter than Teddy's punishments lasted. Christian never seems to flag in his resolution where the children's behavior is concerned. The little chair in the corner of his office gets regular use, but both of our children are as well behaved as any their age. I have to admit they mind their father far better than they mind me. But it's comforting to know that Christian is such a good, loving father and that both his children adore him.

Sheila is still with us. She seems like part of the family. Now she takes care of Molly during the day, just as she took care of Teddy before he started preschool. I know Christian pays her an obscene amount of money to make sure she stays with us. He even built her a house on the property.

Sheila has a degree in elementary education so we both love her teaching approach to the kids. She only cares for the children during the day, as we want the children to ourselves in the evenings and on weekends. It's also nice to have a reliable sitter for all our corporate and charity functions.

I still struggle with being a mother with a full time job and find it difficult sometimes to balance the stresses of both. How come Christian doesn't seem to have trouble with this. He has far more responsibility than I do but he handles it with his usual easy competence.

Grey Publishing is now the largest publisher in the state. We've had a string of successes and profits have steadily increased every year for the past four years. Christian tells me often how proud he is but he also wishes I would quit and be a full time mother. "We don't need the money, Anastasia. I only keep the company because of you. You know you don't have to work."

"I know" I say running my fingers through his hair as we lay facing each other in bed. "But I would go crazy staying home all the time. I love my career. It's part of who I am. What would I be if I wasn't a publisher?"

"You would be Mrs. Grey and the mother of our children," he says lovingly.

"Christian, please let's not have this discussion again. The children are wonderful. They love Sheila. In a few years, they'll be in school all day and then what would I do?"

"They are doing well, aren't they? Sometimes I'm astounded at how smart they are. Do you know Teddy can name all the dials on the helicopter? He even understands what a few of them do. I'm having trouble answering all his questions. Has he asked you where babies come from because he's brought it up several times with me? I tried to get by with the 'Daddy and Mommy love each other" line but he won't accept it." He laughs.

"Molly has responded well to your discipline and I want to thank you Christian. You're so good with her and I find her very challenging. She argues about everything. I think she is extraordinarily smart. She's going to continue to be our difficult child I fear.

"Ana, I've told you. YOU are the most difficult challenge I've ever had. Molly is nothing compared to you. And my goal is to be sure she is not the challenge you were as she grows up. I'm in control here." He leans over and kisses me. "You just have to learn not to be so afraid of her. Ana, she's two. What are you going to be like when she's 14?"

"I know you're right. I'm just too emotional with her."

"Ana, she is too much like you. That's the problem. When I met you, you were 21 and you acted like you were about 16. You were stubborn, defiant and too smart for your own good. Just like your daughter." He smiles indulgently at me.

"I've enjoyed raising you. I still do. You're not even out of your 20's yet and you still occasionally earn a spanking. It's one of the many parts of Anastasia I love. And stop worrying about Molly. She's spirited, I know. But she is loving and bright and curious and so beautiful. She just needs a firm hand to grow up to be as wonderful as her Mother. I think I'm up to providing that."

"I have no doubt of that, Christian."

"So what does your loving husband do when he wants to reward you?" he asks as he runs his long index finger down my cheek.

"I think he occasionally makes love to me" I tease.

"Occasionally?" he asks raising his eyebrow. "Are you complaining that you're feeling neglected, Mrs. Grey."

"Yes, Mr. Grey. And I might just have a temper tantrum to get your attention" I threaten.

"Have you forgotten what I do to little girls who throw temper tantrums?" He gives me his fake stern look and I can see his eyes are twinkling.

"Yes, you better show me."

"I think I'll just do that."


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: Last chapter. I enjoyed writing it so it's sad for me to end it. I want to thank all the reviewers. I really appreciate your taking the time to write me. The positive ones far outweigh the people who don't understand this complex relationship. I think Ana is very strong, not weak. It took a special person to understand Christian and remain true to herself while coaxing Christian into the light. Even Christian knows that Ana is stronger than he is. He adores her and gives her almost everything she wants. That's what made the trilogy so fascinating. I wanted to see how their relationship would mature. I hope you enjoyed seeing their evolution. If you want me to write a sequel, let me know.

Chapter 12

When Teddy is 6 and Molly is 4, we decide to take them to Disneyland. The children know all the Disney films by heart. Christian has helped them look up all the attractions on the computer and they have each decided on a list of favorites. Teddy wants to see pirates and Molly, of course, wants to meet all the princesses. As the time gets closer, they both become more and more wired. Getting them to bed at night has become a longer process. But we're enjoying their unbridled excitement.

Like everything else we do, the trip is shaping up to be a three-ring circus. Christian is taking five security guards for round the clock protection. He's rented Disney's best suite for us and adjoining rooms for all the security. He's purchased the kind of passes that will allow us to avoid the long lines. Christian Grey doesn't stand in lines. "Can we just act like a normal family for once and just enjoy Disneyland," I say as he pours over the plans.

"Ana, we aren't a normal family. First there was Jack, and then you were kidnapped. I won't take any chances with my children." We've had this argument before." Christian insists that a security guard be at the school with Teddy at all times and he's chauffeured just like I'm most of the time. Actually I've changed a lot since the kidnapping. I welcome the security for the children, knowing what could happen. I guess it finally sunk in that our high profile creates more risk. But Disneyland?

"The place is full of kids. Can't we just blend in?"

"There's that word again, blend. Why on earth would you want to blend?" Silly me, I think. Christian doesn't do 'blend.'

We're flying in the Grey Enterprises plane, which both children love. They've never been on a commercial plane so they like flying. Some life they have. Teddy has to visit the cockpit and greet the pilots. Molly raids the small kitchen for snacks. It's a short flight to LA and Taylor has rented a limousine so we can all fit in one car. Christian wants the security guards with us. We check into the hotel by noon and the kids are ecstatic, like they are at Christmas or on a sugar high. "Let's go," says Teddy, jumping up and down.

"Patience, son. We have to get settled and then have some lunch."

"Do I have to take a nap?" Molly is ready for action, I can tell.

"No, sweetie. Just for today you don't have to. But if you get too tired, we'll come back to the hotel and rest."

"I don't want to rest," she protests. "Daddy, do you promise we'll see Belle?"

"Yes, Princess, we'll see Belle, and Ariel and all the other princesses." I still find it humorous that Christian knows all the Disney princesses by name.

We enjoy the fun kind of meal Disney is so famous for. The waiters cater to the children so it seems like the parents are superfluous. Christian and I are enjoying the show. We sit back and watch as Teddy helps Molly with the menu and then orders for her. I can't help laughing.

"Son, you're quite the gentleman. I'm proud of you." Christian praises him.

When we get to the park, Taylor has paved the way and we're led through the VIP entrance. Christian has a backpack with the necessities for the children. I have the camera. Both children are overjoyed and immediately begin running in different directions. Christian sprints after one and Taylor the other, bringing them back to where I stand, somewhat worried about how this day is going to go. Christian bends down to a squatting position and hold each child by one arm. "Now, then," he starts sternly. "You two are going to stay with Daddy and Mommy. You cannot run off like that. If you can't stay with us, we'll have to go back to the hotel and put you to bed."

I'm sure they've never heard a more frightening threat. They both stand perfectly still, looking solemnly at their daddy. "Do you understand?" he asks.

"Yes, sir," they both mumble. They do know the proper response for times like this. I silently commend them. "Ok," says Christian, getting up. "Teddy's first choice, Pirates of the Caribbean." Disaster averted.

The whole day is magical. I take hundreds of pictures, wishing I had taken more lessons from Jose. What was that setting for children constantly in motion? Molly is enamored of all the characters. She has to hug each one. When she spots Cinderella, she looses all self-control and runs toward her. But I've seen her first and follow right behind. Teddy gets a pirate's sword, which he promptly taunts Molly with. Molly gets a Cinderella doll. Christian has no problem buying them any toy they want but he draws the line at all the junk food stands. "Absolutely not," he says adamantly. "We'll have dinner soon and that stuff looks like poison."

Like every other parent at Disneyland, we stay for the electric light parade and the fireworks. It's dark now and Christian redoubles his efforts to make sure security is on alert. He hates crowds and gets testy with all of us. "Teddy, sit down on the curb and stop teasing your sister. You too, Molly. Sit down with your brother."

Watching the children's faces during the parade is too precious to miss. "Calm down, Christian. We're fine. Just enjoy the children's happiness."

"I am," he says defensively. But I know the crowds bother him. Molly is exhausted after the fireworks and Christian ends up carrying her back to the monorail. She dozes off and on the whole way back to the hotel, her head on her daddy's shoulder.

After we get our sleepy kids in bed, Christian draws bath water. "We're going to soak in a warm tub and then I'm going to make love to you, Mrs. Grey," Christian says in his silky voice. "We've survived our first day at Disneyland. I never thought of myself swinging a sword at animatronic pirates."

I giggle remembering Teddy encouraging his father to help him wipe out the pirates. "I have pictures of that," I warn him. "Just in case I ever need to blackmail you."

"Blackmail, is it? Mrs. Grey, you have a malicious side. I'll have to see what I can do about that."

"I look forward to that, Mr. Grey."

Christian undresses me, slowly in his sensuous way, and helps me into the giant tub that takes two steps to get into. Then he undresses and joins me.

"Wasn't it fun watching their faces?" I'm tired but part of me didn't want it to end.

"It was priceless, Ana. They're fascinating, aren't they? So innocent. So caught up in the magic. They believe everything they see is real. It's amazing to watch."

The warm water feels so good after being on our feet most of the day. "Christian, how are we going to make it through a whole day tomorrow?" I chuckle at the thought.

"Come here, baby." He reaches out and pulls me to him, my back to his front. He takes a washcloth and begins washing my neck, my chest, my breasts and tummy. "You're more beautiful than ever, Anastasia. I love our family and I love you."

I turn over to face him. "And I love you, Christian. I still marvel that we found each other. And we have two charming children. How lucky we are to have each other, and to have them."

"Yes, those two imps are the light of my life. Watching them grow and learn is the most fascinating thing I've ever experienced. It makes my businesses look dull in comparison."

We finish washing each other and Christian insists on washing my hair. He puts a towel around his waist when he steps out of the tub. Then he helps me out and dries me off. "Come, baby. Let's make love and then get some sleep. Our little pests will be up early I'll bet."

On the second day, both kids come bounding in our room and climb on the bed. "Ug," groans Christian as one of them lands on his stomach.

"You two go back to bed. It's too early," I chide, knowing that's not going to happen.

Christian corrals both of them and lays them between us. "Shh," he whispers. "Close your eyes." I smile. "Good luck," I whisper back. The quiet lasts about five minutes. "Mommy, I have to go potty," Molly's stage whisper is almost louder than her voice. Christian sighs and lifts her off the bed.

"I do too," says Teddy a minute later.

"Are you ready to concede defeat?" Christian asks me as he scoots over to kiss me.

"I surrender," I laugh.

"Let's not have anymore. We'd be outnumbered and we're not holding our own with one on one odds. We'd have to play zone defense."

We cuddle and take the moment of quiet to kiss again. Christian squeezes my backside and pulls me closer to him. It feels heavenly. I'll never get tired of being in his arms. Our two minutes of quiet ends when both children come bounding in and jump on the bed again, happy that we're up. Christian shrugs and turns around, grabbing Teddy and tickling him. Soon he's wrestling both of them and I get out of bed to protect myself.

"I'll put the coffee on. Shall we order room service? It's faster."

The next two days are a dizzying array of experiences. Christian has made sure we have reservations, or at least Andrea has made sure, at all the character events. We have breakfast with Mickey Mouse and a collection of Disney characters. We have dinner with Prince Charming and Cinderella. The food is terrible, not that the kids notice. I laugh at Christian's obvious disdain as he pushes his plate away. "You're enjoying this, aren't you, Mrs. Grey?" he scoffs.

"Thoroughly, Mr. Grey. At least you aren't insisting I eat."

"I'm not that cruel," he retorts.

Three days is a lot even for children, we find. Christian and I are exhausted but even the kids' energy is lagging. Molly hasn't had her naps, bedtimes have been later and one of them wakes the other much too early every morning. Molly is cranky by afternoon and Christian ends up carrying her part of the time. She wants a Cinderella carriage she sees in one of the ubiquitous shops that temp children with a new array of toys at each one. When I tell her it's too big to carry around, she has a meltdown.

"I NEED a carriage for Cinderella," she demands.

Uncharacteristically, Christian overrules me. "Ok, I'll buy it but we'll have it sent to the room. I'm not carrying it around all day."

"I'll carry it," insists Molly.

"No," says Christian sternly, knowing how long that will last.

Molly dissolves in tears and sits down on the ground in the middle of the traffic.

Christian picks her up and walks away as she cries into his shoulder. Teddy and I follow.

"Daddy's not going to make us leave because of Molly, is he?" Teddy asks with a frown.

"No, I don't think so. Molly's just tired."

I can see Christian whispering to her and she calms. He changes directions and I just know where he's going. What a wonderful father, I think. He'll endure just about any torture for his children. When we arrive at "It's a Small World" Teddy protests. "I'm not doing that again," he says with conviction. It's Molly's favorite ride.

Christian looks at me expectantly and I shake my head. "Oh no. This is your idea. I'll stay here with Teddy," I laugh. He gives me his pouty look, his eyes pleading. There's nothing he hates more than that sugary song that stays in your head like, forever. I shake my head again and move back. Finally, Christian shoots a defiant look at me and heads through the turnstile with Molly. I can't help laughing. What would his employees think if they saw Christian sitting in the boat cringing at the Small World song.

Both of the children fall asleep on the plane and Christian carries them into the bedroom and lays them on the bed. I put a cover over them and stand back to admire our beautiful babies. Teddy looks more like Christian every year. His shock of copper hair is always a mess. His face is square like his father's, and he has the trademark gray eyes. Molly is petite with my black, curly hair and striking blue eyes. How perfect that we got one of each.

"They look like angels when they're asleep, don't they?" whispers Christian.

"Yes, and that's the only time," I whisper back.

It's a beautiful Sunday with warm air and blue sky. We've promised Teddy and Molly that we would go to the ocean after lunch and play in the sand. The morning is slow and lazy, just the kind of Sunday I like. Christian has worked in his office for a few hours and spent the rest of the morning playing trains with Teddy. I can hear them laughing on the patio as Teddy tries to derail his Daddy's train and Christian's fake cry of surprise when Teddy accomplishes it. I love to watch Christian play with the children. He seems to be delighting in the childhood pleasures he missed when he was their age.

Molly is helping me bake cookies, standing on her stool next to me and making a mess with the flour. "Mommy, can I lick the bowl?" It's her favorite part of the process. "Of course, baby girl. That's the best part." I give her a wooden spoon to scoop out the remaining dough, which I have purposefully left on the sides of the bowl. She relishes it for at least ten minutes and ends up with cookie dough all over her face and the little pink apron covering her dress.

"That's all for now. We can have the cookies after lunch" I tell her as I lift her off the stool and remove the gooey apron. "Go tell Daddy lunch is ready."

"Daddy, lunch is ready" Molly screams.

"I could have done that myself," I scold. "Go find Daddy and tell him nicely."

"OK" Molly heads off. I'm certain she didn't get the message at all. At four, she's incredibly bright, feisty, inquisitive and a challenge to her father. Teddy is six and so like Christian that it startles me sometimes. He's more serious, more respectful and far better behaved than his sister. He idolizes his daddy and tries to emulate him constantly. Teddy seems to want his father's approval more than Molly does and rarely gets in trouble. Christian's glare or stern warning is all Teddy needs to obey. Almost the only thing he gets punished for is tormenting his sister and playing in his room when he's supposed to be going to bed.

But Molly is a different story. She challenges the rules, is often sassy and has boundless energy. Her devil-may-care attitude makes Christian crazy. She also adores her father but doesn't seem affected by his scolding or his stern looks. She reminds us a lot of Mia. She has Mia's carefree attitude and certainly Mia's disdain for rules. Christian feels that his parents' leniency with Mia was not in her best interest and is determined not to let that happen with Molly. But she's winsome, loving and gets by with far too much anyway because, frankly she's so darn entertaining. Even Christian has a hard time setting limits with her, though he protests that he's consistent. Both Christian and I realize this is a delicate balancing act. We don't want to dampen her spirit but it would be easier on all of us if she was a little more manageable.

Every once in a while, Christian looses patience with her sass and her casual dismissal of the rules and swats her bottom. It does get her attention and seems to be more effective than his scolding's, which I know she barely listens to, but Christian thinks are like the Sermon on the Mount. He's used to everyone jumping at his command so the only two people in his life who mostly do as they please are Molly and me. It makes him nuts and I take vicarious pleasure in watching the dance of stubbornness between my husband and his pint size daughter.

He's loving with both children, kissing them and holding them. Once in a while I remember when I couldn't even touch him and marvel at how physical he can be with his children. He reads to them with both children on his lap. He swings them in the air when he comes home from work. They adore him. And they both mind him better than they mind me. I guess that's how it should be. I'm the softie, the ones who kisses away their tears when they get in trouble.

Christian comes into the breakfast room swinging Molly in the air, Teddy tagging behind. He lifts them both in their booster chairs. Christian had higher chairs made for the children that match the other chairs in both the breakfast room and the dining room. He starts to put a bib on Molly. "No, Daddy. I don't want a bib. I'm a big girl," she protests and pulls the bib off before Christian can tie it.

"Molly, you are not too big for a bib. Let me put it on you so we can eat," he says patiently.

"No" Molly protests and throws the bib on the floor. Much to our dismay, this is not an uncommon fight with Molly. She never seems to learn that she won't win these battles with Christian. Christian's response reminds me of some of the battles we had when we were first married.

Christian picks Molly up and holds her at his eye level. "Molly, you will pick up that bib and let me put it on you or you will go to bed instead of going to the beach today. Do you want to spend the afternoon in your room?" he says sternly.

Molly stares at him unblinking. I think she tries to see how serious he is before she makes her decision. "OK" she acquiesces. I'm relieved she chose the beach. Christian puts her down and she retrieves the bib and hands it to him. I wonder sometimes if she just behaves like this to get her Daddy's attention. It seems to be working for her. Teddy probably does get more attention because he and Christian share a love of cars and trains and helicopters. Molly's dolls and tea parties just don't cut it with her father.

We enjoy our lunch as the children plan what they will build in the sand and tease each other about who is the best swimmer. Christian reminds them of the rule that they do not go in the water without one of us. "That means the swimming pool or the ocean or any other water," he says sternly.

"What about the bathtub?" asks Molly. She always has to press the limits.

"That includes the bathtub, young lady," he admonishes.

We finish lunch and Christian directs the children to take their plates to the kitchen and help clear. It is part of his 'no spoiling' policy. They're both indulged. They have more toys than a toy store. But Christian won't have them spoiled just because we have a large staff. They have chores for their age level and they're expected to pick up after themselves, keep their rooms neat and clean up their own messes. The last generally takes longer than doing it ourselves.

I get their swim suits and gather everything we need in the bath house. Located in the back of the house near the pool, it's a beautiful tiled room lined with cabinets for swimming paraphernalia. It has a large, marble shower and changing rooms lined in wood. It makes it easy to wash off sand in the shower and change before entering the house. We all don our swim suits and sandals and start down the path to the beach. Teddy and Molly run ahead and Christian calls out to them "Wait for us at the beach."

I look up at Christian. His looks still amaze me. He's tanned and muscular and looks like a model in his swim trunks. "I love you Christian Grey," I announce in my most sensual tone.

"Mrs. Grey, have I ever told you that you look hot in a bathing suit?" He gives me his naughty boy, sexual look.

"Too bad we can't make love on the beach," I remind him. "I think we should give the kids a nap after this. I'm feeling neglected today."

"Are you now? Well, we'll have to see what we can do about that."

"I'm sure you can think of something." I lower my head and look up at him through my eyelashes coyly.

We walk in silence for awhile, holding hands and just enjoying our closeness. Our marriage has become stronger in the seven years since we said 'I do.' The agreement we made has stayed in place. Christian is so naturally the head of the household that I sometimes wonder why it took us so long to figure it out. He's still dominant, still mercurial Christian, but he has embraced his softer side too and has learned to balance his innate need to be in control with sensitivity. Becoming a father was the second biggest change in his life, second to becoming a husband, and he has become an almost ideal father, loving, playful, but strict when it comes to the behavior of his children.

I have changed too. I no longer resist his dominance or fight his rules, well, not much anyway. Really, his rules have always been mostly about safety. Other than when he feels my life is in peril, which is anytime I'm alone outside the house, I do pretty much as I please. I'm respectful to him, as he is to me. We still have incredible sex, sometimes vanilla and sometimes play. We still spend time in the playroom when we're at Escala and it's still an exciting, sensual experience, every time. Christian's ingenuity and creative are endless.

As we walk through the big metal gate to the beach, we both stop, horrified at the sight we see. Teddy is floundering far out beyond the dock, being swept out with the waves and Molly is wildly flailing her arms a little closer to shore. Christian screams to me "Can you get Molly?" as he runs to the water. I'm close behind him. "I'll get her. Get Teddy," I scream. We both run into the water and dive into the waves, swimming as fast as we can.

My heart is pounding and I swim with all the strength that adrenalin provides to a mother when her child is in danger. I reach Molly as she goes under the water and pull her up by the strap of her swimsuit. I pull her close to me on her back with my arm around her chest and use my other arm to propel me to the beach.

I stand when the water is shallow enough and turn to see Christian still swimming against the waves to reach Teddy. I pull Molly from the water to inspect her. She's coughing up water and wiping her eyes. "Are you OK?" I look into her eyes to convince myself that she's alright. "Yes, Mommy. The water took me away."

"I know, honey." I hug her to me as I watch Christian reach Teddy and grab him in the same hold I used with Molly. How grateful I am that both of us took life saving courses in high school. Christian is an extremely strong swimmer. There are few things he isn't expert at. I'm at least an average swimmer but I'm surprised at how strong I was when it came to saving Molly.

Christian holds Teddy in front of him as he finds footing and walks the rest of the way out of the water. He turns Teddy upside down and thumps his back with the side of his hand. Teddy coughs and expels water but seems fine otherwise.

Just as he was coming out of the water, Taylor runs up to us. "Mr. Grey, is Teddy alright?" He's panting. Christian puts Teddy down to inspect him and draws Molly to him. Both children seem fine. "They're Ok. But I think that took 20 years off my life. Are you OK, Ana?"

"I'm fine," I say, but my heart is still pounding.

"I saw it happen on the monitor but I couldn't get here fast enough." Taylor seems as shaken as we are.

Christian shakes his head as if to clear it. He's still kneeling in the sand, holding each of the children by an arm. "What did you two think you were doing going in the ocean by yourselves?" He's angrier than I have ever seen him with the children. Both of them stare at him, mute. For the first time since their rescue, they look scared, not of the danger they were in but of their father.

"Answer me" Christian demands in an angry voice.

"We just wanted to go swimming" Teddy almost whispers weakly.

"How many times have I told you never to go in the water without us?" He shakes them by the arm he's still holding. Both of them hang their heads but don't answer.

"You're both going to get a spanking," he announces as he stands up. He grabs Teddy and swings him into his arms. "Taylor, carry Molly." With that he stalks off toward the house. Taylor picks up Molly who is quietly crying now and follows him.

I pick up the children's' sandals and hurry after them. Christian is really, really angry. I'm not sure he should be spanking the children in this state. I also know I probably can't stop him from what he intends to do. At best, I need to try to delay the punishments until he has calmed down.

We arrive at the bath house and Christian puts Teddy down. I notice that there are tears streaking Teddy's face too. Taylor puts Molly down. "Thanks, Taylor."

"Anything else I can do, Sir?" he asks

"No, I need to deal with my disobedient children."

He starts to strip Teddy and I do the same with Molly. Both are totally silent and I know they're afraid of their father. They have never been the objects of his rage. Though they have seen him angry, it was never at them. We put them both in the shower and Christian washes each one and hands them to me to dry with the soft beach towels always kept in the bathhouse.

"Christian, let me take them to their rooms and get them dressed" I suggest as calmly as I can. "You need to go get a drink and calm down," I grab Teddy and Molly's hands and lead them into the house and to their rooms.

"Is Daddy going to spank us?" Molly asks in a soft voice. There are tears sliding down her face.

"Yes, I'm afraid he is. You children know better than to go in the water alone. You could have drowned or been carried out to sea. That was a very naughty thing you did. You know the rule and you broke it."

"Daddy is very mad, isn't he?" Teddy is trying hard not to cry but his eyes glisten.

"Yes, he is. And for good reason. Teddy, go get your pajamas on and stay in your room" I order. I find Molly's pajamas and help her into them. "And you stay in your room, Miss."

"Mommy, don't let Daddy spank me," Molly pleads. I feel a little sorry for her.

"Molly, you know Daddy is the boss. If he's going to spank you, I can't stop him." I kiss her on top her head and close the door quietly. I'm sorry that the children are so afraid but I have to help Christian deal with his terror. The one thing that sets him off is our safety. Seeing his two precious children almost drown is his worst nightmare. It's every parent's worst nightmare.

Christian is sitting in his office with his head in his hands. I walk over to him and rub his back gently. He puts his arms around my waist and hugs me tight. "I can't believe they did that. I thought they were lost to us, Ana. I'm still shaking and my heart is pounding. If anything happened to them, I think I would lose my mind."

"I know, darling. I'm still shaking too. The sight of our little ones being carried out to sea was terrifying. We'll probably have nightmares about it. I'm glad we both know life saving. It would have been worse if we couldn't save them."

Christian buries his head in my chest. He's still shaking. I run my fingers through his hair and gently caress him. "Do you want a drink?" I ask.

"No, I need to be sober to do what I have to do."

"Christian, the children are terrified. You need to know how frightening your anger is. They do need to be punished but you shouldn't scare them."

"I hope they're very scared. I hope they learn never to disobey me again." He's still very angry.

"Christian, you know you don't believe that. You're a better father than to want to terrify your children. Discipline is one thing but making them afraid of you is not what you want."

"Ana, don't you dare interfere with this. I'm their father and they will obey me or get punished."

"I'm not trying to interfere, just to make sure you are thinking this through. You need to be calm if you're going to give them spankings."

"You know I could never really hurt them. I intend to put them over my knee and give them both a good sound spanking. How can I keep them safe if they don't obey me?"

"I do trust you, Christian. I just know how angry and scared you are. I am too. But we still have to be rational and calm when we deal with them. Christian, they're just babies. They didn't understand the danger. They're impulsive like all little children. They don't think. They just see something fun and go for it."

"Precisely why they have to learn to obey the rules, no matter what they want. If it takes making them afraid of a spanking, then so be it. At least it will keep them safe."

Christian leans back in his chair and I slip onto his lap and bury my head in his neck. He begins rubbing my back. "Are you OK, Ana? How can you be so strong after what happened?"

"I'm not strong Christian. My heart is still pounding. My response is just different than yours. I want to hug them tight and never let them go. I want to hold them on my lap and kiss them and thank God they're alive."

"You aren't much of a disciplinarian, are you?" he says sardonically. For the first time since we saw our babies in the ocean, Christian smiles. This is a good sign.

"You know I'm not. I have my own ways of getting them to behave."

"Yeah, you bribe them" he smirks at me.

"Whatever works" I say flippantly. At least I have him smiling. He's calmer and I know the worst is over. Christian has always struggled with his temper but he hasn't been violent since he was a teenager. What he doesn't understand is the effect he has on people when he's in a temper. He can be really scary. He has never, ever, directed that anger to his children until today.

Suddenly Christian lifts me off his lap. "I have to get this over with."

With that he takes off up the stairs and heads for Teddy's room. I follow him. I guess it's the mother's role to pick up the pieces.

Christian opens the door. Teddy is sitting on the floor with his back against the bed. He looks forlorn. He glances up at Christian with trepidation in his eyes. I wonder how it must feel to him to be so helpless. Next to him, Christian is a giant. I know he must be punished but it is hard to see it.

Christian pulls out the chair from Teddy's desk and sits down. "Come here, Teddy." Teddy reluctantly and slowly gets up to face his father. Christian pulls him between his legs and holds his arms. "Look at me," he demands when Teddy has his head down. Teddy slowly lifts his head.

"Teddy, you know I love you, even when you're naughty. But you broke a serious rule today. You know you're not allowed to go in the water alone, don't you?"

Teddy nods his head. "Answer me, son" Christian demands in a stern voice.

"Yes, Sir."

"Why did you do it?"

"I don't know, Daddy. It looked like fun." Teddy is barely whispering.

"You could have drowned or been carried out to sea. And I would never see you again. I can't allow you to disobey me. Do you understand why I'm going to spank you?"

"Yes, Sir." Teddy bows his head again.

"Tell me why," Christian demands.

"Because I disobeyed and went in the water without you."

"That's right." With that, Christian picks up Teddy and puts him face down over his lap. He looks so small lying across Christian's big lap.

"You will get 10 spanks Teddy." He brings his huge hand down on Teddy's little bottom, covering all of it and then some. Teddy's little body jerks but he doesn't cry out. Nine more times, Christian smacks, waiting a few seconds between each smack to make sure the sting is felt. I can tell that Christian is not using much force. He's actually just swatting more than spanking. Teddy whimpers pitifully through the last few but stoically does not cry out. When it's over, Christian holds him over his knee and rubs Teddy's back. A Christian Grey spanking is almost always given the same way.

Finally, he lifts Teddy and sits him on his lap, cuddling him and rubbing his back. Teddy finally lets out a strangled sob and his body shakes.

"Do you know how much I love you Teddy? You must obey me so I can keep you safe. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, Sir," Teddy whispers.

"Now, I want you to stay in your room and think about what you did and the punishment you got. I hope that you decide you never want another spanking and you will obey me so I can keep you safe. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Sir," Teddy whispers again. Christian gives him a kiss on the forehead, lifts him off his lap and goes to the door. "Just so you know, Teddy, Molly is going to get a spanking too. If you are responsible for her going into the water, you should feel bad that she's getting punished too."

Christian doesn't wait for a response but closes Teddy's door and looks at me. "Well, was I calm and controlled?" he asks somewhat defensively.

I ignore the sarcasm. "Yes, you were very good with him. But it still hurts me."

Christian shakes his head in disapproval. "Not a disciplinarian, definitely," he mutters. He enters Molly's room and can't see her at first. "Molly?" he calls. No answer. He begins to search the room and finds Molly in her large dollhouse, curled up on the miniature sofa sucking her thumb.

"Molly, are you sucking your thumb? Do I need to put the nasty medicine on it again?"

"Hun hun" Molly protests.

"Molly, get out here this minute. And don't you dare say uh uh to your Daddy. How are you supposed to answer?

Molly appears at the door of the dollhouse. "Yes, Sir," she answers.

"Come here, young lady." Molly approaches him slowly and he stands her between his legs.

"Molly, do you know why you are going to get a spanking?" he asks as he bends down so he's closer to her face.

Molly puts both her little hands on either side of his face. "I don't want you to spank me, Daddy," she says with all the sincerity of a four year old.

Christian straightens up, taken aback by this response. I want badly to laugh. Molly is such a manipulator.

Christian struggles to get control again. "Molly, I asked you a question and I want you to answer it. Do you know why you're going to get a spanking?"

"I went in the water. But I don't want a spanking," she adds matter of factly.

"That right, you went in the water without Mommy and Daddy. You knew that was wrong but you disobeyed. You're getting a spanking so you will remember not to disobey again."

"I'll remember if you don't spank me." Again her tone is impassive as she stares straight into Christian's stern eyes with her big blue ones. She's one of the few people in his life who can stare him down even when his eyes are burning.

Christian is getting flustered and irritated. "Molly, you are getting spanked because you disobeyed."

With that he picks her up and lays her over his knees. She looks even smaller than Teddy did. Almost her whole body fits over Christian's lap. He brings his hand down on her little bottom.

"Ow, Daddy, that hurts. Don't do that." Molly protests.

Christian starts the spanking in earnest, not very hard, I can tell. Molly yells with every spank. "Daddy, don't spank me." Her pleas are plaintiff and I can tell Christian is having a hard time finishing the punishment. He stiffens as if hardening to his task. He has a tight, resolute look on his face.

When he reaches 10, Molly is sobbing and he holds her over his knees rubbing her back. "It's over Molly. You can stop crying." He picks her up to sit her on his lap but she grabs his neck with both arms and clings to him, sobbing into his neck.

"Molly, it's over," he says softly. "You are forgiven. Daddy loves you."

She continues to cry and he continues to pat her back and her hair. Molly clings to him for a good ten minutes until he can finally pry her arms from around his neck. He's melting all over and I find it somehow comforting to know that he's suffering from the punishment almost as much as Molly is.

Christian carries her over to her pink, canopied bed and lays her down softly. "I want you to stay in your room and think about how you can be a good girl and mind Daddy. I don't want you to disobey me any more. OK?"

Molly just nods her head and Christian lets it go. He doesn't have the heart to reprimand her for not answering properly. He leans over and kisses her forehead. "Daddy loves you," he says softly.

Christian closes the door and looks at me. "That was difficult," he shrugs, a half smile crossing his face. He looks totally chagrinned.

"She's a challenge, isn't she?" I have to admit that little Molly has a way of getting to her Daddy.

"Almost as much as her mother. I can sure tell she's your daughter." He's smiling a full smile now.

"Now, I need a drink. Being a father is hard." He takes my hand and we go downstairs. Christian opens a bottle of white wine and pours us each a glass. He lifts his glass to me "to parenthood" he says with a smile.

Christian buries himself in his office, probably doing work to prevent him from thinking about this afternoon's crisis. I have changed and am ready for our dinner out with Carrick and Grace. They should be arriving in an hour.

The doorbell rings and I'm startled. I answer it and it's Grace and Carrick. They both hug me. "We thought we would come a little early to see the children," Grace says. "I hope you don't mind. We tried to call earlier but there was no answer."

"We were at the beach. Come on in."

"Where are my angels?" Grace says as she looks around the unusually quiet house.

"Your angels are both in their rooms being punished. Christian just spanked them both."

"Whatever for?" asks Grace surprised that Christian would spank both children.

"For scaring us to death. They went in the ocean without us and almost drowned. If Christian and I weren't both good swimmers, they would have been swept out to sea. We're both still shaking."

"Oh my God," Carrick exclaims. Grace just looks stunned.

"Come, have a glass of wine with me. Christian is hiding in his office trying to deal with his terror. I think he'll let the children come down soon."

We sit in the cozy family room off the breakfast room and I recount the morning's events. Both Carrick and Grace look serious. Grace's eyes glisten when I describe how far out in the water the children were. Understanding how this would affect Christian, she finally asks softly "How is Christian?"

"He was terrified and very angry. It scared the children because his anger has never been directed at them. But he calmed down before he spanked them. He was really very good with them.

"They needed a serious spanking." Christian has walked into the room. "Hello, Mother." He bends down to kiss her cheek. "Dad." He nods to his father and sits down with his glass of wine.

Grace looks sympathetically at Christian. "Christian, I'm so sorry for your terrifying experience. Children can certainly do that to you. Just when you think they're old enough that you don't have to watch them every second, they do something dangerous that tears your heart out."

Christian just looks at her sadly and nods. "I think that took at least 20 years off my life."

"Christian, do you have any memory of you and Elliot trying to burn the boathouse down?" A small smile crosses Carrick's face.

"That's one very clear memory from my childhood. As I recall, it got me my first spanking," he grins sheepishly at his father.

"It's a clear memory for me too. If I really think about seeing you and Elliot standing over that bonfire you made with cardboard boxes, I can still set my heart racing."

I suddenly see what Carrick is doing. He's giving Christian some perspective. He's making the point that all children behave irrationally but do somehow survive. Bless him. Carrick is such a wise father, even for a son Christian's age.

"All I really remember is the spanking," Christian grins at his Dad.

"My point exactly. Teddy and Molly won't understand the danger they put themselves in until they're grown up with their own children. All they understand is that they got punished. Hopefully, that's enough to prevent them from doing it again." Carrick looks kindly at Christian. "Meanwhile the parents take a lot longer to get over the scare."

"It made quite an impression on them." I want Christian to know how his anger affected them. "Christian has never directed his anger toward them. I have to tell you, though. Molly almost made me laugh out loud. She's quite the manipulator. It got to Christian, didn't it, honey?" I'm hoping to get him to lighten up.

Christian smiles ruefully. "Teddy is a little stoic. But I admit I had a hard time finishing Molly's spanking. She does wrap me around her little finger." He looks pensive in remembering his struggle to discipline Molly. "I think I can let them out of their rooms now." He gets up to go to them.

"I left their clothes on their beds. Can you get them dressed or do you want me to come with you?" I ask.

"No, I can do it. I think I need a little make up time with them."

Grace looks encouragingly at me. "Christian being a father is still a delight to me. To see him so in love with you and his children. He's a wonderful father, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is. But I have to say I have never seen him so angry with the children. As you know, he still loses his temper occasionally, though not as frequently as he once did. I wanted to make sure Christian calmed down before he punished them. But he seemed to understand that and was very controlled when he finally did it.

"It's a mother's role to be the peacemaker," Grace says emphatically. "It always hurt me when Carrick punished the children." She laughs and holds Carrick's hand.

"And they all survived and turned out pretty well I think." Carrick squeezes her hand affectionately. It is comforting to know that my protective instincts are normal. Grace always puts things in perspective too.

Teddy comes running down the stairs first and launches himself into his Grandmother's arms for the kiss and hug she always gives. He's dressed in the Dockers that are like his Dad's and a button down white shirt, just like Christian's. "Teddy, my angel. Give your doting Grandmother a kiss," she croons. She holds him away from her a bit. "You have grown again, in just a week. You better stop growing so fast or you'll be taller than your Daddy," she admonishes. Teddy grins proudly at her and launches himself at his Grandfather.

"Grandpa, do you want to see my new train car? It's a cattle car. They put cows in it and Daddy bought me some cows to transport." Teddy always parrots Christian's language. His vocabulary is far above his age level. And he seems to have recovered from his near death experience and his punishment. Christian must have done a good job of making up with him.

Grandpa exclaims his delight at seeing the new train car and they head out to the patio to test it.

Christian comes into the room holding Molly, who still has a chokehold on his neck. Uh oh. She has not recovered as well as Teddy. She has the pale blue dress on that I laid out for her and her white Mary Jane shoes. Teddy and Molly have such different personalities. Teddy is a miniature of Christian, down to the unruly copper hair and grey eyes. He accepts Christian's love and his discipline without question. Molly is a miniature of me, with long dark curly hair and light blue, electric eyes. Like me, she doesn't accept discipline very well I'm afraid.

"Molly, Grandma and Grandpa are here to see you. Can I put you down now?" he asks softly. Molly nods and lets go of his neck. Grace holds her arms out to Molly and welcomes her in a warm hug. "Daddy spanked me," Molly announces sadly.

Grace smiles at us above Molly's head. "You must have been a very naughty girl," Grace says gently. "What did you do?"

"I went in the water," says Molly sadly.

"Oh, that was very naughty, wasn't it?" Grace picks her up and cuddles her on her lap. "I guess you deserved a spanking, didn't you?"

Molly is not about to admit that. Not my stubborn Molly. There's part of me that enjoys watching Christian deal with her. I never thought about the effect on him of my defiance when we were going through our power struggles, only about my emotions. I guess I shouldn't enjoy his power struggles with a four year old, but part of me really does.

Molly stays on Grace's lap, her head resting against Grace and puts her thumb in her mouth. "Molly, take that thumb out," orders Christian. Then is a gentler voice, "Do you want your pacifier?"

"Uh huh" Molly nods. Christian gets up to fetch her pacifier. We have let her go way beyond the appropriate age for a pacifier to get her to stop sucking her thumb. Grace has endorsed this, telling us it won't hurt her at all to have an orthodontic pacifier and that she will give it up in her own time. She's already showing signs of embarrassment over it and only uses it around her grandparents and us.

Christian comes back with the pacifier and picks Molly up off Grace's lap. He sits down with Molly on his lap and hands her the pacifier. She pops it in and cuddles into his chest, sucking on her binky. Some children just take a longer time to get over the comfort of a sucking response, Grace assures us. It's normal and not something to worry about. Molly only just turned four and Grace guesses she will give it up soon. It's wonderful to have a pediatrician to give us advice and we both trust Grace implicitly.

We change the focus to adult talk, about my new books on the best seller list for electronic books. With Christian's help, Grey Publishing is on the forefront of electronic books and has been more successful than either of us predicted. Christian is proud of me and tells me so often. I'm slowly accepting that I do have the talent to run a company. But I'm guessing that I may be the only CEO in the country who gets spanked to settle any differences the co-owners have, though that has only happened twice in six years. Christian leaves the choice of books solely to me and rarely even weighs in unless I ask for his opinion. But the operations are his domain and I happily leave that mostly up to him. On the rare occasions when I challenge a decision he has made, he discusses with me and lets me express my objections. In the end though, if he still disagrees, he pulls either the 'head of household' card or the 'enterprise CEO card.

Christian explains his latest agriculture and third world food plan to his supportive parents. In the seven years we have been married, he has only increased his empire, and our wealth, he assures me. I thought his success was outlandish when I met him. Now it has ballooned fourfold. His charity pursuits have increased accordingly. And of course, that has kept Christian continually focused on our safety. Both children have their own security detail that follows them whenever they leave the house. One stands guard at Molly's preschool and one at Teddy's elementary school. I have learned to accept it, even though it still bothers me sometimes. I know better than to complain, or, heaven forbid, to get around the security rules. I worry about what will happen when Teddy and Molly are older and resist all the security following them and their friends. It's not going to be pretty.

Finally, Molly removes the pacifier and looks content to lay on Christian's lap. We have dinner reservations at Christian's club and he declares it's time to leave. We all pile into the 'family' vehicle that has custom seats for the children and holds six people besides the driver. It looks different and I know it has bullet proof glass and probably an altered body but Christian won't admit it. Taylor drives us all to the restaurant.

Our table is ready and the children's booster chairs in place when we arrive. "This way, Mr. Grey" a maître d announces. We all sit with Christian at one end of the table and Carrick at the other. Teddy sits to Christian's left and Molly to his right, with me next to Molly so we can both help the children. "Teddy, Molly, your restaurant manners please and your polite voices" I remind them. They are still a bit more subdued than usual and I get a "yes, ma'am' from both of them. Christian smiles his approval at them.

Dinner is filled with happy chatter, the children relaxing and keeping us laughing with their observations of the world and their experiences at school. They want to talk about Disneyland again. It is difficult for Molly to sit through a long meal and she gets restless during the main course, spilling her milk. Christian flags a waiter who brings napkins to sop us the mess.

"Stay still, Molly" Christian warns.

Two minutes later, Molly is standing on her chair waving her spoon around her head. Christian smoothly scoops her up and leaves the room. It's the usual protocol for Molly if she has to sit too long and Christian is guaranteed to take her somewhere quiet and have a talk with her.

When he comes back, carrying her, she's subdued and sits relatively quietly for the rest of the meal. I look at him with questioning eyes. He nods and smiles and mouths 'she's fine' to reassure me. He knows I'm such a mother hen, protecting my babies, even though I'm glad he takes the responsibility because I already know I'm terrible at it.

We get home late and put the children to bed. Christian spends extra time sitting on their beds, telling them a story. His story tonight is how he and Uncle Elliot played with matches when they were children and how Grandpa spanked them both soundly. Both children are really impressed to hear that Daddy got a spanking and both have questions. I think how wise it is of Christian to take the sting out of their punishments by letting them know he was naughty too when he was little. We kiss them good night and Christian adds a warning. "I expect you to stay in bed and go to sleep. No getting up again because I will know it. I love you." Teddy has figured out that their rooms are monitored but Molly still thinks it's magic that Daddy knows what she's doing in her room when he's not there.

In the hall, Christian looks sensually at me. "We need our own playtime, Mrs. Grey. I want you to go to the bedroom and prepare for me. I'll be downstairs with the kids' monitor's on and I'll be up as soon as they go to sleep." He pulls me close and kisses me and our kiss becomes passionate. His tongue invades my mouth with a promise of what's to come and his fingers weave into my hair to hold my head in place. My body comes to attention as I respond to his kiss.

"Mr. Grey, you are turning me on," I whisper. "I hope I don't fall asleep before I collect on your promise," I tease.

"Oh, you won't, baby. I can feel your body responding already. You'll wait for me. No clothes except your panties and stay off the bed so you don't fall asleep," he orders, and then heads downstairs.

Our bedroom is on the other side of the grand staircase and is soundproof. Christian made sure of that. He declared it our playroom 2 and the one at Escala playroom 1. He installed a double lock on the door when Teddy learned to crawl out of bed. The children's rooms have monitors, both audio and video that connect with every room at the house so we can monitor them from anywhere. When they're in their rooms, we keep the audio monitor on. If we hear anything suspicious, we can easily switch to video to see what's going on. Teddy doesn't talk to himself. We're more likely to hear him 'vroom, vroom' his racecars or shoot imaginary villains. Christian is uncomfortable with his affinity for guns, being so anti gun himself, but he tolerates it.

Molly is a different story, of course. She has long discussions with her dolls and we're endlessly entertained by her amazing imagination. It is easy to hear her parrot what we say to her dolls. Whenever she gets in trouble, we can depend on a similar scene with her dolls. "You were very naughty" she will scold, "and now you have to go to bed early. No cookies for you tonight."

Christian has duplicated the museum chest from Escala and filled the drawers with butt plugs and vibrators and restraining devices of every kind, but only the ones I like. I don't have to wait long before Christian arrives. He stops at the door and looks intently at me curled up in the wingback chair, reading with only my panties on. His gaze turns intense. "Our children are fast asleep," he informs me. "I checked on both of them and turned on the audio here." He knows I can't get in the proper space unless I'm assured both children are safe and sound asleep so we won't be interrupted by the reality of parenthood.

He dims the lights and approaches me. His eyes turn to steel. His body changes to the older, taller, dominant, intense Christian. Damn, he looks hot. "Mrs. Grey, lets get these off,'" he says and removes my panties. He carries me to the bed.

"Do I need to restrain your arms or do you plan to behave?" he asks in a silky tone of voice.

I stare into his burning grey eyes and decide I was right about his need to dominate completely. This is going to be intense. "I think I probably need the restraints," I say softly. He comes to my side and sits next to me. His demeanor changes back to Christian, my adoring husband. "Baby, I need this tonight. You understand, don't you?" I nod and run my hand down the side of his face to reassure him.

"You know I love you and will never hurt you," he says softly. "But I need a release in the worst way. Can you handle that tonight?" I look into his almost pleading eyes and experience that familiar feeling of mixed fear and intense arousal. "I can handle almost anything tonight, Christian. I need a release too," I admit.

"Anastasia, I love you more than life itself," he says with emotion. "We're reinstating the safe word, just for tonight. I'll feel better if you have one. This is likely to be very intense. What would you like to use?"

"How about red. I can always remember that."

"OK, red it is. Now promise me you'll use it if you need to. I'm feeling very dominant tonight and I want to be free to exercise total control over you. I can't do that unless I'm sure you'll stop it if it gets too intense for you. I'll be depending on you to do that. Do you promise?"

I nod.

Christian rolls me to the side and smacks me on my bottom. "Mrs. Grey, your small children know better than to respond to me with a nod. I expect more from you," he says sternly.

So it has begun, I see. "Yes, Sir. I promise."

"I'll hold you to that" he says with his sternest look.

He takes my hand and wraps the fur lined leather cuff around my wrist. He does the same with the other hand. He attaches both cuffs to the chains he pulls from under the mattress. He walks to the toy dresser and selects some equipment. He returns and runs his hands over my body.

"Anastasia, you're so wet already. I want you to use a little control. We have a long night ahead of us and I forbid you to come without my permission. Do you understand?" His voice has reached full dominant tones, lower than his normal voice, hard as steel.

"Yes, Sir."

"Good girl. Remember that."

He wraps both my ankles in the same kind of leather cuffs with soft lining then attaches them to the spreader bar. He reaches down and touches me, firmly stimulating me. The combination of his voice, my restraints and the stimulation make it impossible to hold on. I lose myself in an orgasm.

"Oh, Anastasia, that was so naughty. Now I have to punish you," he says sternly, disappointment in his voice. Is he really disappointed? I don't think so. He knew I would orgasm to his finger doing that to me. He wanted an excuse to punish me and I know it. It is the seductive dance of the playroom and I love it. We know our parts well through many years of practice and it never gets old. Christian manages to come up with a new and creative twist almost every time.

He flips me over on my stomach and walks away, leaving me restrained on the bed, my whole body exposed, and walks over to the chest again. I strain to see what he's doing but can't tell. "What do you think you deserve for this defiance, Anastasia?" His voice is low and serious.

"I don't know, Sir" I reply honestly.

He returns with the crop, the brown, leather plaited one. "Let's see if this helps," he says sternly. He swishes the crop in a stinging swat to my bottom. "Ouch" I yell.

"Quiet, not a word or a sound, Anastasia" he warns ominously.

He proceeds to apply the crop in little flicks all across my body. Sometimes it just tickles, sometimes it's a little harder. When it stings, I resolve to hold completely still and quiet. My breathing is erratic but I have stayed sill and not uttered even a moan. I can feel my special space deepening. Finally, I know I have arrived at that state where I give myself completely to him. There is nothing but Christian and I and the small, invisible space that surrounds us. The rest of the world fades away.

"Congratulations, Anastasia. You are my precious submissive," he says softly. How he can tell my emotional state at all times is still a mystery to me. But he's right. He could do anything to me now and I would accept it gratefully.

"You please me, Anastasia, when you're submissive. Now you can enjoy this as much as I'm enjoying it. Let's see about that." He feels between my legs again. "Oh, you are so wet, Anastasia. I like you wet and waiting for me." He disappears again and when he comes back, he turns me onto my back and lifts my head off the bed. He puts a mask over my eyes, securing it behind my head. He runs his hands lightly over my naked body, and then I can hear him walk away again. I'm blindfolded and spread eagled on the bed. It's a good thing I trust Christian because it's the most vulnerable position he could possibly put me in.

Then there is silence. This is the worst part. I have no idea what is happening. Suddenly I can feel him at my head again and he's putting headphones on me. They are obviously the noise cancelling kind because all the sound of the room is dead. Now I'm in sensory deprivation. There is nothing. I wait, fearful of what is happening and aroused by that same fear. He's waiting somewhere, maybe standing over me, letting my tension build. Damn, he's good.

Suddenly a low, warning voice comes through the headphones. "You. Are. Mine. All. Mine. To do with as I please." I jump. How is he doing that, I wonder. It is so much more erotic coming through the headphones like a disembodied voice.

"You will lay still and listen. You will not make a sound. You have been mine since the day you first came to my office, so beautiful, so smart, so sassy. When I took your virginity, I took all of you, every part of your body and your mind. I am your husband, your friend, the father of your children, your lover, your Dom. I am all you will ever need. I found a scared little virgin and turned her into an exotic, complete woman."

His voice is low and sensual, sexy as hell through the headphones. My body is responding to his voice and his words. I'm dripping wet and almost convulsing deep inside. Christian must be nearby because he reads my aroused state.

"You will not complete that orgasm you're flirting with. You may not pleasure yourself without my permission." His voice is stern. Something touches my stomach and I know at once it is the flogger he's dragging across my body. It's slow and sensual. It goes down each leg then back up, caressing my vagina and clitoris, my tummy, my torso, my breasts.

"You obey me because you love me. You have learned not to use naughty language. You have learned to lie over my knee when I require it. I know your needs before you know them. I know when you need to be my lover. I know when you need a spanking. I know when you need to orgasm. I know when you need to just be loved."

He flicks the flogger across my breasts. It doesn't hurt, only stimulates me. I know I can't stop it and that he could make it painful, but somehow, I know he won't. This is a reward, not a punishment.

"You have learned to follow my rules without defiance. I'm pleased with that. You have learned to be submissive when I order it. I'm pleased with that. You have learned to orgasm at my command. I'm pleased with that."

He flicks the flogger up and down my body, all the way to my ankles. I flinch at the stimulation and my arousal grows stronger. I can't let go, I tell myself over and over. I don't know what he would do if I disobeyed now. He's being more dominant than I have experienced in a long time. This is a wild ride. How much longer is he going to make me wait? I love what he's saying but I need release.

"I will always dominant you. I will always keep you safe. I will always take care of your every need. Even when I'm not with you, you will obey my rules. You will always be honest with me. You will always be respectful. I control this marriage in every way. I will never let it get off course. I'm the head of our houseful. I'm your husband and your dominant."

He flicks the flogger across my body once again, a little harder this time. My skin tingles with the stimulation.

"I can control what you eat and when you sleep. I have demonstrated that. If I wanted to, I could control what you wear. If I wanted you to quit working, I would order it. I want you to know that I could do all these things if I so desired. I can have as much control as I desire."

What is he doing, I wonder. This doesn't sound like him. He hasn't wanted that kind of control since he thought I would make a good submissive when we first met.

"But I don't want that kind of control. I like you to be free. The chase is much more fun in the wild than it is in captivity. When I had submissives, they were in a cage. There was no challenge to that. You, my willful wife, are a challenge. I love your free spirit, your stubbornness, your intelligence. I love dominating you. But you need to know that the level of my dominance is my decision alone. If you ever stray from our marriage arrangement, I will respond swiftly and strictly. You will never be allowed to top from the bottom."

He's touching me with his hands now, little pinches, soft rubbing. He swats my thigh several times, then softly rubs it. He swats again, but not very hard, then lightly runs his fingers over my stinging leg. I can't hear him or see him. I wait, anticipation growing. Where is he and what is he doing?

He lifts the headphones off and removes the blindfold. I blink in the light and look up in surprise. His expression is one of intense love. His eyes burn with desire. It's not what I expected. He sits on the bed beside me.

He puts his finger on my lips in a silent command to be still. "You are my beautiful wife and my partner. You are a successful CEO. I'm pleased with that. You are a wonderful mother. I watch you with our children and my heart almost bursts with pride and love. I watch you sleep and my heart almost bursts with adoration."

My heart melts at his words. I know he feels this way but it is incredible to hear him say it.

"You have fulfilled dreams I never knew I had. My dominance is more satisfying than I ever knew it could be. I love being your husband and I love being a father. I love you, Anastasia." He leans down and kisses me deeply, our mouths hungry for each other, our tongues exploring the taste and the feel of our passion.

"Can you please take off the restraints, Christian? I want to touch you." I have a fleeting memory of a time when I would never have said that, never been allowed to touch him.

"Yes, my love." He unfastens all the restraints and picks me up, carrying me to the rocking chair. I curl up on his lap and he begins to rock me.

"That was pretty intense. How are you feeling?" His tone is soothing.

"Kind of shaken actually. It's hard not to come when you do that to me." I shudder involuntarily.

"I told you I needed to be very dominant. Did you forget to use the safe word?"

"No, I didn't need to. Most of it was very erotic. I needed to orgasm and that was hard to control."

"And we will get to that. I just want to help you settle down first. What scared you?"

"Only the part about how dominant you could be. It sounded like the way you were when we first met. I wouldn't want you to be that way. You won't, will you?"

"No, baby. I have no intention of going there. I don't need it anymore. But I want you to know that I still have that potential. I could still choose that level of control. I would only go there if our marriage was in trouble. And I don't think that will ever happen. But I do want you to stop stressing about work. I hate it when you get tense over the demands and the timelines."

"I think that's a lost cause. Can't you just give up on that?"

"I still have a few tricks up my sleeve." He grins down on me. "I thought you should know we're going to work on that. I love that you're so successful in your career but you need to learn to take things as they come, not worry about what's next."

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" I say sardonically.

"No, I don't stress about the future. That's because I know I'm in control. I'm going to teach you how to be in control at Grey Publishing. You can learn to play the dominant role too, you know." He lifts my head off his chest and stares into my eyes. That's a new thought. Me, dominant?

"Mr. Grey, don't you think that might be a little dangerous? What happens when I bring my dominant personality home?"

"I'll put you over my knee," he says shortly. I smile. Yes, he would do that.

"Haven't I told you, power exchange is the sexiest form of a relationship. You can learn to enjoy the other side. It's quite intoxicating and I think it will help you at work. But understand this. I'm not a switch. You won't use that personality on me." This could be fun, I think. There's always something new with Christian. It certainly keeps our marriage fresh. I have no idea how he's going to accomplish his new goal but I know, without a doubt, that it will be an exciting ride.

"When did you get those earphones?" I look up at him. "And how did you do that anyway?"

"I've had them for awhile. It's a Bluetooth connection to a microphone. I was waiting for the right time. Did you like it?"

"It was most erotic. And surprising."

"Do you feel better? Anything else you want to discuss before I make love to you?"

"Yes, I decided I want some control over when you dominate me," I say teasingly.

"Not going to happen," he laughs, getting up and putting me on the bed. "Now, about that orgasm."

"He crawls between my legs and lifts my pelvis to meet his. He enters me slowly, sensually. "You are free to come any time you want. You have been a good girl and I want to pleasure you."

He begins to thrust and almost immediately, I lose all control and finally am able to experience the orgasm that has been waiting so long. It is a long one and Christian continues to thrust deeply into me. Finally he releases his own orgasm and stills above me, spilling his seed into me.

"Open your eyes, Anastasia. I want to see you," he commands.

I open my eyes to see his warm grey ones looking at me with intense love. It is my most precious response from him.

He flips me over and stuffs two pillows under me, and then enters me again. It feels different this time and I enjoy the sensation of having my sweet spot stimulated in a different way. He reaches under me and circles my clitoris. It feels heavenly. He begins thrusting again and I'm at his mercy. My second orgasm is even stronger and almost as long. He answers with his own equally strong release. He's holding my pelvis up with both hands and I relax against his firm hold.

"Anastasia, you are so sexy in every position. You never disappoint. How lucky am I to have such a special lover." He's breathless and I can tell he's still aroused.

We both collapse in exhaustion. Christian rolls off of me and pulls me into a spooning position and kisses my hair. "How was that Mrs. Grey?" he asks triumphantly.

"Oh my God, Christian. Sometimes I think you are going to kill me with orgasms." My breathing is still ragged and somewhere deep inside, my organs are still throbbing from the workout.

"Good session. What grade would you like to give it?" He's playful Christian again.

"Oh, that was definitely an A plus" I moan.

"We needed that, baby. Both of us did. Are you glad you have a dominant lover who can take you to a submissive space where your orgasms are infinite? I swear, I could have brought you off another few times, but I was running out of steam. You are insatiable, Anastasia."

"Are you complaining, dear?" I love our teasing, loving post coital debriefing.

"Never. You are the most sexually responsive women I have ever known. You. Are. Perfect."

"Perfect? So that means you don't miss having a full time submissive who can't look at you and obeys your every command?" I tease.

He turns me to him and puts his hand under my chin to lifts my face. His eyes have turned dark. "Anastasia, you will stop talking like that. It's not funny. That fucked up fifty shades is gone and you know it. I won't have you still being jealous of whatever I was before I met you. Do you understand?" His eyes are blazing.

"I was just teasing. I guess I do have to let that go."

"Maybe that's what we should work on first, I wish I could erase all that from your mind. I want you to know that you have not experienced everything. We have years and years to explore our sexuality and our power exchange. The bad part, for you at least, is that I will always expect you to obey me and to be respectful. I do still have a lot of punishments I have never used on you and I guarantee you won't like. So when I tell you to stop comparing our marriage to my old life, I mean it. You'd best do as I say because you will be very sorry if you don't."

"Another barrier knocked down," I say contritely. "I won't do it again. We're taking care of a lot of barriers lately, aren't we?"

"Yes, sweetheart, and I love it that we're still overcoming old obstacles. Our marriage gets stronger every time we knock down another wall between us. And if today was a wake up call, I'd say we better be as strong as possible to handle the two little imps we're raising." He grins down at me and I know all is forgiven.

"Anastasia, we've been married seven glorious years. We have two of the most wonderful children on earth, well, except for today of course, and we have the best, most stable marriage I know of. Our sex life is spectacular, we're great parents and we have no financial worries. I think we have a charmed life and I thank God for all of it. None of it would have happened if we had not found each other. We're perfect for each other."

And he's right. We're living happily ever after, just as Christian said we would. As I bask in the comfort of his loving arms, I feel a sense of security, like everything is right in the world. I have the most beautiful, loving husband there ever was. I have two adorable, bright, loving children. We have come through the hard times and settled on a relationship that meets both our needs. We're equals most of the time. I can be myself. I have a successful career and I take pride in what Grey Publishing has become. Christian and I discuss issues and problems and settle them with respect for each other. We have wonderful sex, the loving kind and the playful kind. I adore my dominant husband. We have solidified our roles as parents. I'm more comfortable being the understanding mother I trust Christian to provide some of the discipline. And I know Christian will always be there to take care of all three of us.

The End


End file.
